Up a Treehouse
by Kit Thespian
Summary: Sephiroth is alive. But how? That's what HE wants to know. Will he ever find out? And will he be able to have a normal life? Naaaah. Yuffieroth
1. What the?

(Kit Thespian walks in)

Kit Thespian (maniacally): Oh, yes, I'm finally here, in the Final Fantasy VII category. Its plots are mine to twist! Its characters are mine to control! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Cloud, Barret, and Sephiroth pop their heads in)

Sephiroth: We're doomed.

**Disclaimer: **Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making money off of this.

**Author's Note: **This fanfic does not coincide with either Advent Children or Dirge of Cerberus in any form or fashion. It only goes by the canon game.

Chapter One- What the...?

It's not an extraordinary thing to be alive one moment, and dead the next. But it is a trifle unusual to be dead one moment, and _alive_ the next. That is the reason why Sephiroth was puzzled when he found himself in a forest near Midgar one morning. Even stranger was the fact that he was dressed in his General garb: cape, sword, and all. He went through many actions to test his humanity and life, including poking himself, hitting himself on the head with one of his hands, and even giving himself a small cut on the palm of his hand with the edge of his sword.

After seeing the blood, there was no mistake. Sephiroth was alive. But "how?" was the question. He got up off the ground and examined his surroundings. He knew that it was the forest near Midgar. First things first, he would have to seek help. He had no money, and nowhere to go. He didn't even know _when_ it was. He trekked towards Midgar.

Unfortunately, he was dismayed to find that Midgar was in ruins with no sign of human life in it whatsoever. Sephiroth reached the ruins and looked around. He knew in his heart that this was caused by Meteor, but he couldn't understand why the rest of the planet still existed.

He found several Gil amidst the ruins of the city, about 500. He looked around at the destruction and sighed. If there was no Midgar, there was probably no Shinra. And if no Shinra, no SOLDIER. The means of making a living through his military prowess was completely gone.

There was one thing that Sephiroth was grateful for. He no longer felt the hold of Jenova on his will and person. Jenova had been destroyed. And for whatever reason the Lifestream saw fit, It had sent Sephiroth back as he had been before this entire business started, without madness. If all else failed, Sephiroth could hunt for game when he needed food. But he also needed a place to stay.

He headed for the next town, Kalm. When he reached the village, he noticed that everyone seemed to be content, with the slight exception of a merchant and a customer at a fish stand nearby, haggling prices with elevated frustration. Hopefully, no one knew what he looked like. Jenova had told him of the clone that had went throughout the land, wreaking havoc and even killing the last of the Ancients (at her orders, of course), and that it was identical to Sephiroth in appearance (most clones are).

And it wasn't as if Sephiroth himself was sinless. After he met Jenova, a madness surged through him that drew him to her and he did her every bidding. and he gave into his own bloodlusts.

So far, so good. No one was pointing fingers at him and screaming in terror. But he was surprised by hearing a tiny voice address him.

"Sir," it said, "are you new here, Sir?"

Sephiroth looked down and it was as little girl with dark brown hair, around the age of four or five. She barely reached above his knees. She was by herself, and gazing up at Sephiroth with fascination. Since he was given this second chance at life, Sephiroth was determined to make this one better. He could start by being nice to this child.

"Yes," he answered, "if you answer a few questions for me, I'll give you a big reward."

"Okay."

"Firstly, what is your name?"

"Marlene."

"This is Kalm, isn't it?"

"Yes, Sir."

"How long has it been since the defeat of Sephiroth?"

Marlene shrugged, "I dunno."

"Do you know who Sephiroth is?"

Why the little girl shook her head in reply, Sephiroth was very worried all of a sudden. What if he were centuries into the future? It most certainly wasn't the past. He stood silent for a moment and Marlene piped up.

"But there was a huge Meteor last year!" she said.

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, "A Meteor?"

"Uh-huh! It went over Midgar, there was a big, white light, and BOOM! The Meteor was gone!"

The big white light could only have been Holy, the power that the Ancient girl had been trying to summon. A year...It had only been a year. Sephiroth's situation was even worse than if he had been resurrected five hundred years after his defeat. In five hundred years he would have been forgotten and he could have lived comfortably without fear. But for all he knew, Cloud Strife and his friends were still alive.

Really, Sephiroth had little to be afraid of. Though he was no longer a one-winged demi-god, he was still a force to be reckoned with. But the truth of the matter was he had lost he taste and thirst for blood. The thought of it made him feel sick to the stomach now.

And now, there was the little girl Marlene to be taken care of. She had waited patiently for the reward promised her. Sephiroth reached into his pouch, pulled out 10 Gil, and put it in the little girl's hands. Marlene gasped with delight and began to hop around.

"I'm rich! I'm rich! I'm rich! Yippee!" She grabbed Sephiroth's cape and said, "You're a nice man. Thank you. Let's get some candy!"

Sephiroth gulped. He was very hungry, but he had never eaten a piece of candy in his life. He was never allowed to when he was young, and he never cared to when he was older. But he allowed himself to be led by the little girl (who held onto his finger) to the candy shop nearby. When he walked in, the candy store owner took one look at Sephiroth and his eyes widened.

"That's a pretty big sword you got there, Mister..." he said. But Marlene interrupted.

"Mister Border," she said, putting the 10 Gil on the counter, "may I have two bags of gumdrops, please?"

"Of course, little Marlene," the storeowner smiled as he took the money. He eyed Sephiroth warily, of course, but asked no more questions. When Marlene went to Sephiroth led him out the door by the finger, Sephiroth shrugged at Mr. Border and the storeowner laughed, understanding the situation. Marlene had once been a shy, little thing, but since the destruction of Meteor she had blossomed quite a bit.

When they were outside, Marlene handed Sephiroth one of the bags of gumdrops.

"One for you and one for me..." she said. She immediately opened her bag and bit into one of the candies. Sephiroth also opened his bag, albeit with a little less enthusiasm, and popped one of the sweets into his mouth.

It was sweet, all right. So sweet it made his teeth hurt. He paused for a moment and thought about his situation. He was back from the dead, in the town Kalm, making friends with a little girl named Marlene, and eating candy for the first time in his life. Somehow, for some insane reason, this scenario was preferable to taking over the world and becoming a god. It was a lot quieter.

Marlene grabbed his finger once more and pulled him towards one of the houses. It was good-sized house, probably one of the bigger ones in Kalm.

"I wanna show you my treehouse!" Marlene exclaimed.

"Are your parents home?" Sephiroth asked. He wondered how well he would be received, a stranger being dragged home to this little girl's place.

But Marlene answered, "My Papa isn't home. My aunt and uncle aren't home either. My Auntie Yuffie is home, but she's taking a nap."

Sephiroth immediately got the impression that Marlene really wasn't supposed to be outside by herself, and that she had snuck out once her "Auntie" was asleep. They went around to the backyard to where Marlene's treehouse was. The treehouse was a little bigger than Sephiroth thought it was going to be. He wouldn't be able to stand up in it, but he could at least sit down and stretch his legs. There was a wooden ladder that led up to the door. The rungs were very close together, making it awkward for Sephiroth, but manageable.

The door to the treehouse was about fifteen feet above the ground. Sephiroth let the little girl climb up first. She said as she crawled into the house, "We can eat our candy in here. Nobody'll see us."

There was a tiny cot in the corner, and a few toys strewn about. Once Sephiroth was able to squeeze himself into the door, Marlene shut it and opened the windows. Then they started to eat their candy. Marlene, with her mouth full of gumdrops, asked, "Whath yo nam?"

"...I'm sorry, I didn't quite understand that."

Marlene swallowed the candy and said, "What's your name?"

Sephiroth knew that he couldn't tell her his real name, for it would prove most disastrous if little Marlene started going around telling people that her friend's name was Sephiroth. But the name that popped out of his mouth made him wonder later on, _what on earth was I thinking?_

"...Mr. Roth."

The answer was, he wasn't thinking.


	2. The Jig is Up

(Sephiroth and Cloud look at the stage.)

Cloud: Doesn't look like she's here... What're you so afraid of Kit Thespian for, man?

Sephiroth: She's just scary, beyond any form of reason.

Cloud: Dude, you burned down a village, impaled a twenty foot snake on a however-so-high pole, killed Aeris and Tseng, and floated around casting "Super Nova" with a choir singing your praises in the background, and you're afraid of a fan fiction author?

Sephiroth: Firstly, the second and third things you mentioned were done by my CLONE. And secondly, I have heard tell that I'm her favorite character.

Cloud: And that's bad?

Sephiroth: SHE TORTURES FAVORITES!

Cloud: What torture?

Sephiroth: You have no idea! Slapstick situations!Insane slash threats! Bizarre musical frenzies! She'll stop at nothing to get her will!

(Kit Thespian walks in)

Kit Thespian: Hi, Sephy!

Sephiroth: EEK! (hides behind Cloud, unsuccessfully)

Cloud (to Sephiroth): You're such a weenie.

Sephiroth: Just wait until she inflicts some horrible torture on you! And she'll do it!

Kit Thespian: Sephiroth? You okay?

Sephiroth (comes out, goofily smiling): I'm just fine, oh mighty one.

(Cloud rolls his eyes. Kit Thespian notices this and says)

Kit Thespian: Cloud, you're in my top three favorites. You can give the Disclaimer today.

Cloud: …I'm your number three favorite?

Kit Thespian: Yep.

Cloud: Who's your number two?

Kit Thespian: Yuffie.

Cloud: YUFFIE!?! THAT LITTLE PIPSQUEAK?!? YOU CAN JUST TAKE YOUR DISCLAIMER AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR&$$ $ …

Kit Thespian: Oh, really?

Cloud: YEAH!

Sephiroth: Cloud, I don't think that's the wisest…

(Too late. Kit Thespian snaps her fingers and Cloud gets a very strange, effeminate look on his face. Sephiroth backs away in horror as Cloud begins to skip around the stage like a ballerina.)

Cloud (singing): _I feel pretty! Oh, so pretty! I feel pretty, and witty, and bright! And I pity any guy who isn't me tonight!_

(Sephiroth gets over his horror and starts to chuckle. Barret, Yuffie, and Cid appear on the scene and start laughing as well.)

Cloud: _I feel charming! Oh, so charming! It's alarming how charming I feel! And so pretty that I hardly can believe I'm real!_

_See the pretty boy in the mirror there? Who can that attractive guy be? Such a pretty face, such a pretty dress, such a pretty smile, such a pretty ME!_

Cid: Dress?

Barret: He _did _have to dress as a woman once.

Cid: Oh…

(Yuffie's now rolling on the floor in laughter and Sephiroth is taking pictures.)

Cloud: _I feel stunning, and entrancing! Feel like running and dancing for joy! For I'm loved a pretty wonderful b…_

Kit Thespian (snaps her fingers): Okay, that's enough for now.

Cloud (back to normal): Why I oughta…!

Kit Thespian (ominously): You oughta _what_?

Cloud (realizing his peril): I forget. (faces audience) Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making money off of this. (turns to other characters. Sephiroth hides his camera.) What are you laughing at?

Barret: Nuttin'.

Cid: Nothing whatsoever.

Yuffie (leans over to Sephiroth): How many did you get?

Sephiroth (whispering): I got a whole roll.

Yuffie (evilly): Hee, hee, hee… Let's sell them to the Nibelheim Enquirer. Make mucha moola! (they both sneak away.)

_Author's Note: A nice, long chapter, with much silliness! I took liberty on changing the fate of Yuffie's hometown, Wutai._

Chapter Two- The Jig is Up

"Marlene?" Yuffie shouted while walking onto the backyard patio, looking for her charge, "Marlene! Where are you? You'd better be around here!"

Sephiroth squeezed himself (and amazingly enough, his sword) out of view as Marlene opened the door to the treehouse and popped her head out,

"I'm up here, Auntie Yuffie!"

Yuffie sighed with relief, "Good! Do you know what would happen to me if turned up missing? Your papa would kill me! And your Uncle Cloud and Aunt Tifa would disintegrate the remains! Now, come down here, it's time for your dinner!"

Sephiroth swallowed a rise of gorge as he heard the names. Not only was Cloud alive, but this was _his _backyard! And that short-haired girl looked familiar; no doubt she was one of the ones who helped destroy him. Now he had no choice but to stay in that treehouse. He couldn't risk being seen.

"I'm not hungry!" Marlene shouted back.

"Not hungry? Have you been eating candy again? You know you're not supposed to do that or you'll spoil your dinner! And I was going to make your favorite: Chicken pasta."

"Yipee!" Marlene seemed to forget the fact that she wasn't hungry and she started to climb out of the treehouse. She said to Sephiroth, "You want to come eat with us, Mr. Roth?"

"Uh, no…" he whispered, "I don't think so." He could hardly imagine this Yuffie's reaction to him being there.

Marlene looked sad, "But it's really good."

"I'm sorry. I can't go; I have to stay here for a while. Now, go on. Go eat your dinner."

"I'll get you some."

"Thank you. But go."

Marlene shrugged and climbed down the ladder. Sephiroth then realized his mistake. He had not cautioned Marlene to never tell anybody about him, and the first question that Yuffie asked when Marlene reached her was,

"Who were you talking to?"

The hairs on Sephiroth's head could have stood on end in that moment and he wished there was some way to tell Marlene to be silent. But the little girl said,

"That was Mr. Roth."

"Mr. Roth? Who's that?" Yuffie didn't seem to mind a stranger being in the treehouse.

"He's my new friend! He bought me the candy! He's the nicest man!"

"I'm sure he is, sugarcakes," Yuffie gently pushed Marlene inside, "but now it's dinnertime. You can play with your imaginary friends in the treehouse _tomorrow_."

"But he's not imaginary. He's _real_."

"Now, enough of that. Go inside."

And the door was shut. Sephiroth couldn't believe his incredible stroke of luck. Yuffie thought that he was an imaginary friend concocted in Marlene's brain. He just hoped that Marlene wouldn't take the trouble to describe him. He realized that the only thing to do now was go to sleep. The cot would be a tight fit, but if he drew his legs up he could manage it. After such a long day, he could stand the discomfort and he fell asleep rather quickly.

_Inside the house…_

Yuffie sighed as she stirred the pasta around in the pot. It had been an entire year since the destruction of Meteor and Sephiroth. Things were starting to return to normal; better than normal, in fact, since Shinra was gone. But things couldn't return to normal for Yuffie, since Wutai and everything in it had been destroyed by Ultimate Weapon.

Cloud and Tifa (who got married about a month after the Destruction) were good enough to let her come and stay with them. Vincent was off floating somewhere, no doubt. Cid was soaring the skies with his wife Shera. Red XIII (aka Nanaki) had gone to search for his life's mate. Barret had decided to stay with them to help them all build a new life. Reeve was off in other villages, helping to repair the damage that Shinra and the Weapons had done.

Right now, Cloud, Tifa, and Barret had been summoned to Nibelheim to get some things settled there, namely getting rid of some Shinra monsters. They left Yuffie in Kalm to babysit Marlene, and the two had fun most of the time. So much fun that Marlene tired Yuffie out very quickly, and that caused a need for extended naps. Yuffie knew that she needed to get out of the napping habit, for there was no telling what Marlene would do when she was asleep.

Marlene had many imaginary friends. There was Sugar Blossom, Mr. Feathers the Purple Chocobo, Fredrick the Mouse, and the list went on and on. Yuffie wondered how all these imaginary friends managed to fit in the treehouse if Marlene imagined them all at once. And now there was this Mr. Roth. Mr. Roth seemed unique, in that he was actually a human being instead of an animal or a flower.

Marlene and Yuffie ate their supper, with Marlene unabated by the candy apparently. Then she filled her plate again, jumped up and headed for the back door. Yuffie stood up from the table and said,

"Now, where do you think you're going, missy?"

"To my treehouse. Mr. Roth hasn't had any dinner."

"Mr. Roth's not going to eat that and you know it."

"But he's hungry!"

"Marlene, put that down and come back here!" Yuffie sternly commanded. This was annoying; Marlene was actually trying to _feed_ her imaginary friends now. What was the world coming to?

Yuffie was asleep later on that night when Marlene managed to sneak the plate of food onto the back porch…

_The next morning…_

…Therefore Yuffie didn't notice the next day when Marlene took the empty plate from the patio and put it in the sink. Yuffie had left the dishes overnight, so she washed two plates and was none the wiser. Marlene walked out the back patio door, carrying a cloth like a bag,

"I'm going to the treehouse to play with Mr. Roth!"

"Okay, but be back by lunch."

Ah, peace and quiet. Yuffie decided that since Barret was paying her to do all this, she may as well do some work around the house. She would start with some dusting. Dusting was simple and required no blood, sweat, or tears…well, the dust would sometimes make her eyes watery and her nose ticklish, but that was beside the point. Now, where did she put that feather duster?

_In the treehouse…_

"I brought you some biscuits and bacon, Mr. Roth!" Marlene said as she climbed into the treehouse. Sephiroth woke up with a slight crick in his neck, and was still very tired. But he reached out and took the cloth bag offered to him.

"Thank you…" It looked like he was getting room and board. That was looking on the bright side of things, considering the cramped space and cold food. And all it cost him was 10 Gil. Marlene rambled on while he ate,

"Auntie Yuffie doesn't believe in you. I tried to tell her, but she thinks you're not real. She even tried to stop me from giving you your dinner, but I got it out after she went to bed. I'm sorry you had to eat so late."

"I don't mind…"

"Do you like your breakfast?"

"Yes, it's very nice. Very…salty." _Better than nothing…_

"Tell me a story!"

Sephiroth blinked, "A story?"

"Any story."

"I'm…not much of a storyteller."

Marlene crawled up to him and open her eyes wide in a very pitiful looking gaze, "Please?"

The truth was that Sephiroth didn't _know_ many stories; not many that would interest a little girl, at any rate. But he would try his best to make up something off the top of his head.

"Once…there was a…" He saw a bug crawling on the wall, "…a beetle. A shiny gold beetle. And he…was hungry. And it was wintertime, so there was no food. He went into this cave and met…a frog." Sephiroth couldn't believe the random nothingness spewing forth from his mouth, but Marlene seemed to like it, so he went on, "The frog seemed to have some food, so the beetle asked for some. The frog said, 'I won't give you any food unless you do something for me in return.' 'And what is that?' asked the beetle. The frog answered, 'Get me a…silver coin.'

"The gold beetle had to go to a town nearby to get the coin. Once he found one, it was too heavy for him to carry. And then…another beetle, a…platinum one…" Sephiroth resisted the urge to roll his eyes, "And the gold beetle asked the platinum beetle to help carry the coin. The platinum beetle said, 'I will, if you do something for me in return.' 'And what is that?' asked the gold beetle…" Sephiroth stopped. _This has to be the stupidest thing I've ever done..._ he thought.

Marlene's eyes got wider and she spoke, "What did he want? What did he want?"

Sephiroth said, "He answered…He answered that…He wanted the gold beetle…to help him find…"

"…A wife?" Marlene guessed.

"Yes! A wife. So the platinum beetle helped the gold beetle get the silver coin to the frog, and the gold beetle had food for the winter…"

"Did he share some of his food with the platinum beetle?"

"Yes, he did."

"This is a nice story!" Marlene smiled, "Did the gold beetle help the platinum beetle find a wife?"

"Yes, he did."

"What did she look like?"

"She was a…ruby beetle."

"Did the gold beetle ever get married?"

"…Yes, to an emerald beetle."

"Did they have babies?"

"Lots of 'em."

Marlene clapped her hands with joy, "Yipee! I liked that story!"

"Thank you." He was glad to have that over with.

"Mr. Roth," Marlene said, looking a little concerned, "when I met you, you seemed sad. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong with me. I…don't have a home right now…except your treehouse."

"Are you lonely?"

Sephiroth never admitted his personal feelings to anyone, but it hardly seemed to matter anymore. He answered, "Yes."

"Do you need a wife?"

Sephiroth chuckled, "No, not really."

"Yes, you do! Everybody needs to get married! You have to get married and have lots and lots of babies!"

Since no one had ever suggested starting a family to him, Sephiroth looked at Marlene as if she had grown another head. What he really wanted was just to get off the subject as swiftly as possible. He said,

"I will take your suggestion to heart, Marlene."

"I have to go now. Bye!" Marlene blurted and she crawled out of the treehouse.

Sephiroth was left confused and totally unaware of Marlene's intentions. If he had known, he would have fled for the hills. Instead, he lay back down to try to get a nap before the little girl came back for another round of story time.

_In the house…_

Yuffie was finishing dusting the furniture in the living room when Marlene rushed in and began to tug on her sleeve.

"Auntie Yuffie! Auntie Yuffie! You've got to come! I've found you a husband!"

"What?" Yuffie's eyes went as wide as saucers. Still holding the feather duster, she put her hands on her hips and said, "Just who do you want me to marry?"

"Mr. Roth! He's perfect for you!"

"Mr. Roth?" Yuffie sighed and rolled her eyes, "Marlene, I can't marry one of your imaginary friends…"

Marlene stamped her foot, "He's _not_ imaginary! Come to the treehouse and see for yourself!" Marlene grabbed Yuffie's free hand and began to drag her towards the door to the backyard.

Yuffie was frustrated but resigned to the girl's insistence. While Marlene took her through the backyard, Marlene said,

"Just wait till you see him, Auntie! He's tall, and handsome, and nice! He's all dressed in black, and he has a sword…" Marlene spread her arms, "_this_ big!"

Yuffie was a little disturbed by this description. This sounded more like a soldier than an average imaginary friend. Now she and Marlene were climbing up the ladder to the treehouse.

Marlene continued, "And he has long, silver hair down to _here_," Marlene indicated below her waist, "And he has pretty green eyes that glow like Uncle Cloud's!"

A cold feeling shot through Yuffie's mind and then it occurred to her as she reached the top of the ladder._That physical description sounds a lot like... Wait a minute...Mr. **Roth**?!_

"There he is, Auntie!" Marlene ran to a sleeping man's side. Once Yuffie walked into there (the ceiling was tall enough for her to barely stand in) and beheld Marlene's choice of husband for her, she let out a piercing shriek so horrible that any glass nearby would have shattered to smithereens.

Sephiroth, startled out of his sleep, leaped up and as a result hit his head on the top of the ceiling, causing a small crack in the roof. He held onto his head, "Ow!" and he had to squat down more than a foot. Yuffie hit him in the face with the feather duster, and the dust caused him to sneeze about three times.

By now, Yuffie had grabbed Marlene and put her behind her and was now pointing the feather duster at Sephiroth with vehemence. She said to Marlene,

"Go into the house, Marlene, and lock the doors!"

"But…" Marlene started.

"_Do as I say!_" While Marlene was climbing down the ladder, Yuffie shook the feather duster at Sephiroth, causing a little more dust to fly, "Stay back, you!" Yuffie seethed, "Or I'll maim you!" _How did he get here?! He's supposed to be dead!_

Sephiroth, still rubbing his head, stared at the young lady, "Are you threatening me with a _feather duster_?" he asked.

Yuffie paused a moment and then replied, "This is no ordinary feather duster! It's a…a…_mythril_ feather duster! It's worse than the Ultima Weapon! It'll tear you to shreds!"

"It looks, and _feels_, suspiciously like chocobo feathers."

"...Of course, it looks like chocobo feathers! It's _disguised_ to look like chocobo feathers! Now, stay back!"

Instead, Sephiroth took a step forward.

"Don't come any closer!" Yuffie wailed. In truth, she was terrified and unable to move anymore. She had never been this close to Sephiroth without her friends (and materia) with her. And though the treehouse was too small for him to use his sword, Sephiroth could do plenty of damage to her without it.

Sephiroth kept coming nearer until he took the feather duster out of Yuffie's shaking hand.She spoke, trembling,

"It…It only works when I'm holding it."

Sephiroth then put his face so close to Yuffie's so all Yuffie could see was his glowing green eyes. Had Yuffie been any less of a person, she would have soiled her clothes. Sephiroth then said,

"Then I'd better not give it back to you, hmm?"

Tears started to stream down Yuffie's face. This was the end of Yuffie as she knew it. Soon she would be floating in the Lifestream with a halo above her head. There was no escape. She closed her eyes and awaited her fate. Instead, she heard Sephiroth speak,

"Stop sniveling. I'm not going to hurt you."

Yuffie opened one eye, "You're not?"

"No, I'm not."

She opened the other eye, "…Why not?"

"Because I don't want to."

"…Then what are you doing here?"

"Before your untimely interruption, I was taking a nap."

"No, I mean, what are you doing _here_? And _alive_?"

"As for the first question, I came to this town and your niece offered me shelter. And for the second one, I have no idea what I'm doing alive. I assure you, it was as great a shock to me as it was to you."

Yuffie tried to take this in for a moment, and then she realized that she was still nose to nose with Sephiroth.

"Could I have some space, please?!" she snapped. Then she remembered that she was addressing Sephiroth, the one-winged angel (well, _former_ one-winged angel) and her terror was renewed. But Sephiroth complied with her request, although the smirk was still on his face. The two then stood at an awkward silence for a moment (Sephiroth was actually squatting). Sephiroth knew that this staring contest was going to get them nowhere, so he suggested,

"Perhaps you could let me inside the house, and I'll try to better explain myself there."

Yuffie whimpered. Sephiroth was alive, in her backyard, and there was very little she could do about it. If he was telling the truth, things would be all right. If he was lying, she wouldn't be able to defend herself or Marlene against him. She may as well agree.

"Come on…" she said, leaving the treehouse, "but no funny business."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Sephiroth replied.

"Can I have my feather duster back now?"

"No."


	3. A Haircut and Some Karaoke

(Kit Thespian enters the stage.)

Kit Thespian: As you may have already guessed, it has become of custom of mine in my video game fan fictions to allow a character to give the Disclaimer. The next character on the list to present the Disclaimer is our favorite silver haired villain…

(Sephiroth runs onstage, being pursued by Hojo.)

Kit Thespian: _Sephiroth?_ Hojo, what the heck are you doing?

Hojo (not paying attention to Kit Thespian): Join me, Sephiroth, and together we will overthrow Jenova and the Weapons!

Sephiroth: I'll never join you!

Hojo: It is your destiny! Professor Gast never told you what happened to your father.

Sephiroth: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Hojo: No, Sephiroth, _I_ am your father!

Sephiroth (cringing on the floor): No…it's not true…that's impossible!

Hojo: Believe it, Sephiroth…

Sephiroth: NOOOO!

Kit Thespian (scratching her head): Why does this look vaguely familiar?

Hojo: Join me, and we can rule the world as father and son!

Sephiroth: How could you possibly be my father!

Hojo: …Gee, Sephiroth, I figured _somebody_ would have told you the facts of life sooner or later.

Kit Thespian: HOJO!

Hojo (finally paying attention to the author): What?

Kit Thespian: Can we finish this later? I understand; beautiful father-son reunion and all, but I have a fic to present! Now, Sephiroth… (sees that Sephiroth fainted from shock) Sephiroth? Oh! (to Hojo) _Now_ look what you've done!

Hojo (sarcastic): My profound apologies.

Kit Thespian: _You're_ giving the Disclaimer this time.

Hojo: Grumble, grumble… (to audience) Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making money off of this.

Chapter Three- A Haircut and Some Karaoke

After Marlene let them in the house, she was ecstatic that Yuffie finally believed in Mr. Roth. Of course, it took a moment to explain why Yuffie had screamed and reacted so violently. Yuffie simply told Marlene that she and Mr. Roth were old friends and they always threatened each other. Yuffie managed to get Marlene off to her room to take a nap. Then she went into the living room where Sephiroth was waiting.

Sephiroth said, "I think I need to get cleaned up."

"I agree…" Yuffie muttered, wrinkling her nose.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Now," Sephiroth looked around the spacious house, "if you could direct me to the shower and some suitable clothing, I could accomplish that."

"Well, that's the thing. I don't know if there are any clothes here that'll fit you," Yuffie gave Sephiroth a look-over before taking his coat in her hand and saying, "How can you stand wearing all that leather all the time? Doesn't it chafe anywhere? And really, your boots go above your knees. It looks like you want to go fishing."

"When I want fashion tips…" Sephiroth growled, "I'll ask you."

"What I _really_ want to know…" Yuffie eyed Sephiroth's Masamune, "is how you manage that sword. You seem to be an expert in fitting it anywhere you want it to go."

"Practice. Now, about my shower and change of clothes…"

"Oh, yeah… The only things that I can think of that you could wear would be some of Barret's stuff. You two are about the same height, but, um…not the same width. I could get you one of Cloud's belts to hold up Barret's pants. Wait right here…"

After a few minutes, Yuffie returned with a pair of rolled-up lounge pants, and a huge black t-shirt that had a picture on the front of a chalk outline of a corpse on a city street. _"I brake for NOBODY"_ was written on the back. Sephiroth examined the t-shirt with a blank look on his face. Yuffie piped up,

"I thought you'd like it."

"…It'll do."

"I put some safety pins on it, so you don't need a belt. You can use Cloud and Tifa's shower. It's on the first door to the right down the hall."

"Thank you."

Sephiroth left his sword in the living room, for he knew full well that Yuffie wouldn't be able to do any harm with it; it was too heavy for her. It was too heavy for _anyone_ except him. Well…and Cloud. But Sephiroth didn't want to dwell on that.

_Meanwhile…_

Yuffie sat in the living room for a few moments, contemplating her situation in quietness for the first time. Sephiroth seemed to be changed, but he was still Sephiroth, cold and hard. It was clear that he trusted her, though (for whatever reason), or he wouldn't have left her by herself while he took a shower. And little Marlene had spent a lot of time with him and he had obviously behaved in a civil, even _nice_, manner towards her.

Yuffie looked at the Masamune, which was leaning against the wall near a full-length mirror.

"_Y'know,"_ she thought, _"it doesn't look so scary from here."_

She walked over to the sword and examined it closer. It was nearly two feet taller than she, and very sharp. But somehow, Yuffie managed to take the blade and lower it down until she could grasp it by the handle. Then she got a wicked idea. She listened for a moment to make sure that the shower was running. She heard the water, and then began to carry out her plan. She dragged the sword in front of the mirror.

Keeping hold of the handle, she contorted her face to look like a triumphant Sephiroth, and she spoke, imitating Sephiroth's deep baritone as best she could,

"Ha, ha, ha... You are at my mercy, thou minions! I will rule the world, for _I am Sephiroth_! I am the most powerful being ever to emerge! Bow down and kiss my feet! I will be a _god_! And you will all worship me or die! Pay homage to me or I will destroy you!" Then she tried to pick up the sword, but didn't succeed, "If…Oof…If I can ever get this stinking sword off the ground…Sheesh…" She gave up trying to pick up the sword, but she giggled to herself at her audacity.

"Let's see…" she said to herself, "what else can I do?" Then she looked at the handle of the sword, which was right next to her mouth, and got another idea. She began to sing punk-rock style into the handle as if it were a microphone, exchanging the popular punk-rock number-one hit name "Man O' Death" for "Sephiroth,"

"_Who's the baddest sucker in the neighborhood? Sephiroth! That's who! Who's the meanest cat ever to walk this earth? Sephiroth! That's who! Leaves a trail of blood, wherever he goes. Makes every hotshot bow down, and lick his toes…_"

She laughed out loud, and without noticing that it had been a while since the shower water had turned off, she started singing to a bubblegum song, in a ditzy manner,

"_He's so dreamy! He's so smart! Such a perfect work of art! Did you see him look at me? Gosh, I really want to be…_"

Now, the original lyrics in the next line to this particular pop song were "dreamy hazel eyes" and "wavy, chocolate hair" and "in style all the time" and "makes you want to stare." But Yuffie changed them to accommodate her unusual houseguest,

"_He's got glowing greenish eyes! He's got waist-long, silv'ry hair! He wears leather all the time! And he really makes you scared…"_

It was at this moment when Yuffie noticed something out of the corner of her eye. She looked and Sephiroth was standing in the hall doorway, with a towel in his hand. He was dressed in the clothes Yuffie gave him, and his hair was wet. He had an ominous eyebrow raised. Yuffie felt very small all of a sudden.

"Um…" she said, "how long have you been standing there?"

"Every since the 'sucker' part," he answered, rather calmly.

"Oh…"

"…You are a very strange little person."

Yuffie, her face getting redder and redder, put one hand on her hips and said, "Look who's talking, Mr. Big-shot-I'm-immortal-you're-only-a-flea-next-to-my-greatness!"

"I'm strange in an intelligent and strategic manner. You are just _strange_."

Yuffie looked down at the ground, trying to find a stinging reply.

"And please," Sephiroth spoke, "put down the sword."

Yuffie obeyed, however grudgingly. Sephiroth went to her, picked up the sword with one hand, and leaned it against the wall. Yuffie's eyes widened at this feat of strength.

_How **does** he do that?_

Sephiroth took the towel in his other hand and began to dry his dripping hair off with it. Yuffie once again forgot her fear and was filled with fascination.

"How did you manage to comb it out so fast?" she asked.

"Used to it."

"Can I look at it?" Sephiroth raised his eyebrow again in suspicion, and Yuffie went on, "I just want to see it. You have really pretty hair."

Sephiroth did not verbally reply to that statement, but he did hand a lock of his hair to Yuffie and she examined it closely. Then she pulled it up to her eyes,

"Omigosh!" she gasped, "No wonder it's so long. You never trim it! Look at all the split ends... I can trim it for you."

"No!" Sephiroth snapped. If there was one thing he did not want this insane woman do, it was come near his hair with a sharp object.

"Oh, come on!" Yuffie huffed, "what're you afraid of?"

"I am not afraid of anything. I just don't want to look like a de-feathered chocobo."

"It won't be like that. I promise! Cloud lets me trim his hair..."

"And _that_ is supposed to assure me?"

"Tifa, Marlene, and Barret let me trim their hair too. I even trim my own hair, and it's not so bad. See?" Yuffie showed Sephiroth the neat, smooth ends on her hair, "And considering the length of your hair, a little trimming is not going make much of a dent in it."

"No."

"Just a little trim?"

"Absolutely not."

"Stop being such a big baby!"

"I am _not_ a big baby!"

"You're big, and you're acting like a baby, so that makes you a _big baby_!"

"Argh...!" Sephiroth realized that she was telling the truth, however much it irked him. And what irked him more was that she was slowly becoming unafraid of him. He grumbled, "Fine! Trim it!"

About fifteen minutes later, Yuffie triumphantly announced,

"There! I'm done! That wasn't so bad wasn't it?"

She had Sephiroth sit on a chair and she caught the excess hair on the towel. She presented the towel to Sephiroth to show that only a small amount of hair had fallen.

"You can breathe now," she said.

"I wasn't holding my breath."

"Then why is your face blue?"

No response.

"I thought so," Yuffie smirked.

"You are the most annoying excuse for a female human being that I have ever met! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't hurl you out the window!"

"Well, to give _one_, I gave you a nice haircut."

Sephiroth had to admit that the trim hadn't damaged his style one bit. He was about to retort that he only had the haircut because the girl was being such a pest, but the PHS on Yuffie's waist rang. She answered it,

"Hello...? ...Oh, hi! ...Everything's fine...just fine and dandy...Oh..." Yuffie looked a little terrified all of a sudden, but she managed to keep her voice normal, "Really? ...Oh, great! See you in a few minutes? Okay...Bye!"

She pushed the "End" button on her PHS and swiftly returned it to its place.

"We've got a problem!" she spoke hurriedly, "Cloud, Tifa, and Barret are on their way home. They said they'll be here in a few minutes!" She grabbed Sephiroth by the arm and led him down the hall, "Hide in my closet...Oh, no." When they reached her room, they discovered that her closet was too small for him to hide in. Then it occurred to Sephiroth.

"My clothes...They're in Cloud and Tifa's bathroom," he said.

"Oh, great!" Yuffie whined, "You go get them; I'll try to stall for time. Try to find a hiding place!"

Yuffie went out towards the living room while Sephiroth headed for the bathroom. As if this situation couldn't get more awkward, with the haircut and all, now Sephiroth's sworn enemy and his entourage were returning home. He reached Cloud and Tifa's room and gathered his clothes from the bathroom. Then he remembered that his sword was still in the living room. He slapped his head for his stupidity in forgetting it. He would have to go back and help Yuffie hide it.

Too late. The front door opened and Cloud, Tifa, and Barret walked in. Yuffie was pushing the sword underneath the sofa. Fortunately, the sofa was big enough to cover the length. She stuffed the hairy towel underneath the sofa and tried to brush the excess hairs underneath.

"Yuffie? Marlene?" Cloud called as he and his wife and best friend entered the living room. Yuffie jumped up and said, pasting a grin on her face,

"Hey, guys!"

Sephiroth heard the conversation going on in the living room and looked quickly for a hiding place. Sadly enough, the only possible place was underneath Cloud and Tifa's bed. He stuffed his clothes and himself underneath, thankful that there was a bed skirt to hide him. As he blew away the dustbunnies and resisted the urge to sneeze, he thought,

_"Could it possibly get any worse?"_

And he just _had_ to ask...


	4. Just When Things Couldn't Get Worse

**Disclaimer: **Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making money off of this.

Chapter Four- Just When Things Couldn't Get Worse...

"So," Yuffie said, still smiling big, "what brings you home so early?"

Tifa answered, "Well, we'll explain that as soon as we get some lunch..."

"Lunch!" Yuffie slapped herself on the forehead. She hadn't fixed anything yet.

"Yeah, lunch," Barret said, "And where's Marlene?"

"She's upstairs taking a nap," Yuffie answered. But a few seconds later, Marlene came running into the room saying,

"Papa! Papa!" And she ran into Barret's waiting arms, "I missed you! I missed you!"

"I missed you too, baby!" Barret hugged her tightly, "Has Aunt Yuffie been treatin' you good?"

"Uh-huh! We've had lots of fun! Auntie Yuffie made me Chicken Pasta yesterday, and the day before that we played tag, and yesterday I met a new friend!"

"A new friend?"

"Marlene," Yuffie nervously chuckled, "we don't talk about the new friend, all right?"

"Why not?" asked Cloud.

"But Mr. Roth's a nice man!" Marlene interjected before Yuffie could answer, "He bought me candy, and we went to the treehouse, and he told me a story about a shiny gold beetle! Auntie Yuffie's gonna marry him!"

Cloud, Tifa, and Barret gawked at Yuffie, their eyes begging an explanation. Yuffie said, as nonchalantly as she could,

"Mr. Roth is one of Marlene's friends who lives in the treehouse. You know, one of _those_."

The three contemplated for a moment before letting out a long, "Ohhh..." and they all laughed.

"But I do believe," Cloud said, "that this is the first one that is eligible for your hand in marriage."

"Oh, Marlene probably read a fairy tale before she made this one up," Tifa said.

Marlene looked hurt, "But I didn't make him up. He's _real_!"

"'Nuff of this 'Mr. Roth,'" Barret said, "let's eat."

_Under the bed..._

Sephiroth grumbled to himself as he thought, _"She just _had_ to mention the shiny gold beetle. That zany woman's never going to let me live that one down, if I live long enough."_

He heard Yuffie tell the others as she entered the room, "You go ahead and start eating; I think I left something in your bathroom."

"You've been using our bathroom?" Cloud called.

"Why not? It's a nice bathroom..." Yuffie shut the bedroom door and locked it. She hoped that no one would come into the room and wonder why. She first walked into the bathroom, and then she whispered,

"Sephiroth? You in here?"

"I'm under here..." Sephiroth whispered back. Yuffie went to the bed, knelt down, and lifted the bed skirt.

"Oh, there you are," she said. She held out a couple ham and cheese sandwiches wrapped up in a napkin, "We fixed these for lunch. I made some extra and I don't think the others noticed. Can you eat them under there?"

"I'll try."

"I'm awfully sorry about this. They weren't supposed to be back for another week."

"It isn't your fault. But is there any way that you can smuggle me out of here?"

"I don't know."

"Yuffie!" Tifa called from the dining room, "are you coming?"

"Yeah! I'll be there in a minute!" She turned back to Sephiroth, "Look, I've got to go. Just...try to wing it. Give me your clothes. My room's on the way to the dining room. I'll stick them in there."

Yuffie gathered the cloak, pants, boots, and shoulder armor in her arms. She could barely see to get out the door, but fortunately no one saw her. She went and stuffed the items in her closet. She left the bedroom door open, so Sephiroth could hear everything said. He was relieved to find that she got to the dining without the others suspecting a thing.

"Now," Yuffie said once she sat down at the table, "you said that you'd tell the reason for your being home early once we we've gotten lunch. I'm listening..." She took a bite of her sandwich.

"...You may not want to have anything in your mouth," Cloud said.

"Yeah," Barret spoke, "I was drinking some soda when I found out and it came out of my nose."

"...Okay," Yuffie swallowed her food, "It's not bad, is it?"

"No," Tifa smiled, "it's actually really good. We found out the day we got to Nibelheim."

Yuffie shrugged, "Well, what is it? You're not pregnant, are you?"

"Yes, I am," Tifa answered.

Yuffie's jaw dropped before she squealed, "_Omigosh! You're pregnant! Omigosh!_"

Sephiroth sighed, _"That's just what the world needs. More Clouds."_

"What's 'pregnant'?" Marlene asked.

"It means she's gonna have a baby, Marlene," Barret answered.

"Yay!" Marlene clapped her hands together, "A baby! A baby! I told Mr. Roth that he needed to get married and have lots of babies."

"So, have all of you come back for good?" Yuffie asked, swiftly changing the subject.

"Actually," Cloud said, with regret in his voice, "Barret and I still need to go back to Nibelheim. I just wanted to get Tifa back home and safe. Barret and I have to leave in a couple of hours."

"Oh..."

Sephiroth sighed with relief. But his relief was only temporary.

"Well," Cloud spoke, getting up fromthe table, "I'm going to take a nap before we go."

_"Oh, great... Well, he'll leave in a little while, then I'll try to get out of here..."_

Cloud walked into the bedroom, and Tifa followed. She shut the door behind her. Sephiroth heard Tifa say, in a coy, cool voice,

"Now, before your nap... We haven't had a moment to ourselves since we left..."

_In the dining room..._

Yuffie had just finished her sandwich and she noticed that both Tifa and Cloud had gone to the bedroom.

"Umm..." Yuffie tried her hardest to keep a straight face, "Where're they going?"

Barret smirked, "Probably gonna have a little fun time, if I had ta' guess."

Yuffie's eyes widened with horror. Barret laughed.

"Come on, Yuffie," he said, "they're a married couple. They can do it if they want."

"Hee, hee," Yuffie nervously laughed, "Hee, hee..."

_Under the bed..._

Sephiroth, though he was not experienced in these sort of matters (and there _is_ a good reason for that), knew what that flirtacious tone of voice meant. His eyes grew as wide as saucers and the blood started to rush to his face.

_"Oh, no, anything but that. **Anything** but that..."_

Apparently Cloud's answer was a yes, because the couple started smooching a few seconds afterwards. Sephiroth resisted the urge to whimper, but then realized that since Midgar and Shinra were destroyed, he didn't have to worry about an electric jolt anymore. You see, when Sephiroth had reached puberty, the scientists at Shinra (namely Hojo) had implanted an electronic chip somewhere in Sephiroth's system, to keep him from "carelessly spreading his seed around" so to speak. It was controlled from Shinra headquarters. Whenever Sephiroth had had the slightest twinge of sexual excitement, the chip would activate and Sephiroth would get an electric shock through his body. Nothing too noticeable to anyone watching Sephiroth, but it was extremely painful for him. The stronger the feeling, the more painful the punishment. The method was efficient in keeping Sephiroth away from sexual activities.

Now he didn't have to worry about the chip, but being an unwilling witness to pornography was something quite new and unsettling for Sephiroth.

_"Is this punishment for all my sins?"_ he cried in his thoughts. Cloud and Tifa fell on the bed. _"I repent! I repent! For heavens' sake, I repent! Just make it stop!"_

Cloud's PHS rang. Sephiroth wondered if he were lying in a beam of providential light. Cloud cursed under his breath and answered the PHS,

"Yeah? ...Oh...How are you doing? ...Pretty good. ...You what? ...But how...? Okay...Well, Barret and I have to go, but Tifa and Yuffie will be here... Okay...I'll make sure they know. Goodbye..."

"Who was it?" asked Tifa.

"It was Vincent. He found Lucrecia." Cloud's voice was very grave.

"...Gracious," Tifa didn't sound very excited about it either.

"What's she doing alive, I wonder? And what are we going to say to her, Tifa? That we killed her son?"

"We did what we had to do, Cloud. There was no way around it. He was a cruel terrible person, though I pity him sometimes."

"Sometimes...I don't know. If he had known the entire truth...maybe he wouldn't have done all the things he did. But it's too late now. His was the most tortured soul I've ever met."

_"Who are they talking about?"_ Sephiroth wondered.

Fortunately, the subject had put both Cloud and Tifa out of the mood, and they both fell asleep in a few moments. Sephiroth, after hearing Tifa's gentle breathing and Cloud's snoring, determined that it was safe for him to quietly slip out.

He was glad to have the baggy clothes on instead of his armor. It would have been a lot harder for him to escape with the leather and metal scratching the wooden floor. He inched out, listening intently to make sure that Cloud was still snoring and Tifa was still breathing steadily.

He tiptoed towards the bedroom door, opened it, and peeked out into the hall. He had heard Barret go outside the back door with Marlene. As soon as he shut the door behind him, he whispered,

"Yuffie? Yuffie, are you here?"

Yuffie entered the hall. She said nothing, but gestured him to come into her room. He went in there and she shut the door. After breathing a deep sigh of relief, she said,

"They didn't discover you in there, did they?"

"No."

"...They didn't..._do_ anything, did they?"

Sephiroth shook his head. Yuffie sighed again and laughed a little,

"I wish I could've had a picture of my face when I saw the two of them going to the bedroom together. I was so sure that they were going to..."

"Yuffie..." Sephiroth spoke, "Who are Vincent and Lucrecia?"

The relief faded away from Yuffie's face and she looked disturbed.

"How do you know about them?"

"Cloud received a call saying that someone named Vincent was coming here with a lady named Lucrecia. Who are they?"

"Um...They used to work for Shinra... Look, you hide in here. I'll make sure that no one comes in here, all right? I have to go." She headed for the door, but stopped before leaving, turned, and said to Sephiroth with a smirk, "By the way, Sephiroth... A shiny gold beetle?"

Sephiroth rolled his eyes, "It'sa long story."

"Sounds like one. See ya."


	5. Lucrecia

(Enter Kit Thespian, holding a big, stuffed animal, a golden retriever. She is hugging it lovingly when Sephiroth and Yuffie walk in.)

Sephiroth: Um...Kit Thespian, is that a stuffed animal?

Kit Thespain: Yep! He's allllll mine!

Sephiroth: ...And how old are you again?

Kit Thespian: Nineteen, why?

Sephiroth: ...Just asking.

Yuffie: What's he called?

Kit Thespian: His name will be 'Sephiroth'.

Sephiroth (very dryly): Well, Kit Thespian, it's an honor to have something named after me and all, but aren't you a little old to...

Kit Thespian: And his nick-name will be 'Sephi-kins'

Sephiroth (taken aback): _Sephi-kins!_ (Yuffie starts chuckling.)

Kit Thespian: I will call him Sephi-kins, and he will be my Sephi-kins! (notices that Sephiroth and Yuffie are carrying a lot of money.) Hey, guys, where'd you get all that...

Cloud (from offstage): _Sephiroth! Yuffie! What is the picture of my ballet dancing doing in the Nibelheim Enquirer?_

Sephiroth (looks over his shoulder): I think it would be prudent to...

Yuffie: _Flee!_

(they leave Kit Thespian on the stage, still hugging her Sephi-kins)

**Disclaimer: **Kit Thespian does not own the video game Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making money off of this.

Chapter Five- Lucrecia...

Sephiroth thought he was out of immediate serious danger when Cloud and Barret departed from Kalm a few hours after he migrated to Yuffie's room. But as soon as they were gone, Yuffie came back to her bedroom where Sephiroth waited in her bathroom. He had realized why Yuffie had him take a shower in Cloud's bathroom; Yuffie's shower looked like it was built for a midget.

Yuffie shut and locked the door to the bedroom and said,

"It's okay for you to come in here. Tifa went upstairs to play with Marlene and her paper dolls... Sephiroth, listen. Vincent and Lucrecia are coming here because Lucrecia needs a place to stay. I've talked with Vincent and he's going to leave and join Cloud and Barret in Nibelheim as soon as he brings Lucrecia here. You don't know them..."

"You said they used to work for Shinra."

"Yes, they did, but..." Yuffie paused, wondering what she should say to him. If she attempted to tell him the truth, he would not believe her. He had been lied to too much. So she kept her peace and only said, "...therefore it would be best if you remained hidden. And besides the fact that Tifa's pregnant. We don't need to frighten the dickens out of her by letting her see you without her being properly prepared first."

"I understand."

"...Okay." A moment later, Yuffie began to stare at Sephiroth's hair, the hint of fascination creeping into her eyes. Sephiroth spoke,

"You had better not be thinking of insane ways to groom my hair. If so, you may push such foolishness out of your head. It will not happen."

"I'm just thinking about growing my hair out like that. But I think I would take a little more care of it than you apparently do. You only washed it this morning and it's already a little stringy. Did you shampoo it?"

Sephiroth, when he was in SOLDIER, had been used to all the girls and women coming up to him and commenting on his looks, and he had to use every last ounce of strength not to admire a pretty girl too closely, because of Hojo's microchip. And to tell the truth, being told that his hair was "pretty" had really annoyed him sometimes. Was "pretty" the only adjective that young women knew that applied to aesthetically pleasing objects? But he was definitely not used to having someone actually criticize it.

He answered her, "A little."

"How do you get the bangs to hang like that? Do you gel them?" Yuffie asked.

"No. They just grow like that. It's natural."

"How fast does your hair grow?"

"I don't know." _I can't believe we're on this subject **again**._ Yuffie had asked him some ridiculous questions when she was trimming his hair, and now it seemed that the questions were going to start once more. Sephiroth was by nature a fairly patient person, but this was pressing him to the limit.

"How about if you...?"

Sephiroth gritted his teeth and snapped, trying to keep his voice down so not to let Tifa hear him, "I do not intend to do anything to my hair except wash it, comb it, let it dry, and comb it or brush it again if the need arises! I do not need to roll it, blow-dry it, gel it, layer it, or spray it!"

"Well, you don't need to get so huffy about it!" Yuffie put her hands on her hips.

"You..." Sephiroth seethed, "are a ridiculous female!"

"Who're you calling 'ridiculous,' Mr. Shiny Gold Beetle?"

"That can't be any worse than 'Mythril Feather Duster'."

"That was in a moment of dire distress, that _you_ caused, no less!"

Sephiroth decided to frighten her into silence by leaning down and putting his eyes on level with hers again. It had worked with her earlier that morning, and it had worked with pretty much every member of SOLDIER and Shinra when Sephiroth was a General. But at this moment, it had a different effect than Sephiroth had intended.

"What are you doing?" Yuffie asked, unperturbed by Sephiroth's intimidating gesture, "Are you trying to kiss me or something?"

Sephiroth stood straight up, shocked, "Absolutely nothing of the sort!"

"FYI, in this society you just don't get that close to a girl for no reason. Or are you trying to scare me? Not working, pal."

"...I think I'm just going to sit, and do nothing."

"Be my guest. I'll do some kitchen work. Got nothing better to do."

Sephiroth did not like to lose arguments (in fact, he had never lost an argument in his life until he met Yuffie) but he was not willing to pursue this discussion any further. Before Yuffie left, Sephiroth asked her,

"By the way, where's my sword?"

"I hid it underneath the couch. You can get it later. You can take a nap if you want; I'll make sure no one comes in here."

After Yuffie left, Sephiroth sat on her bed and looked around the room. It wasn't exactly as he had expected. At first, Yuffie seemed the type who would have pink decorations scattered everywhere, and posters of popular guys on the walls. But instead her favorite colors were green, blue, and brown, in dark tones, and there were no such posters. She had a book on her nightstand. Sephiroth picked it up and flipped through the pages. It was a romance novel, apparently involving a duke and a noblelady who loved each other despite coming from feuding families.

Sephiroth put the book down and looked at the wall beside the bed. Hanging on it was a four-point weapon, which looked far too big for Yuffie to handle. Sephiroth then lay down on the soft bed. His feet almost hung off the end, but he had not been so comfortable since his resurrection. He fell asleep very swiftly.

_Later..._

Yuffie and Tifa welcomed Vincent and Lucrecia to the house just as the sun was going down. Vincent insisted that he leave immediately to try to catch up with Cloud and Barret, despite protestations from Tifa and Yuffie. If he were to go assist them in fighting the monsters, then they could return home quicker. Lucrecia didn't seem to mind the suggestion, but she was very quiet until long after he had left.

The two women and Marlene tried to make Lucrecia feel as comfortable as possible, for it was obvious that she was still in shock and bewildered by this situation. She told them that she didn't understand why she was alive. Yuffie remembered Sephiroth saying the same thing, or something similar.

As Yuffie observed Lucrecia, she could see similarities between her and Sephiroth. Lucrecia's hair was dark brown, but with silver highlights and some silver streaks. And her eyes were green. They glowed because of her infusion with Jenova cells, so they looked just like Sephiroth's. But her face was rounder, and very beautiful. Because of the Jenova cells, she had not aged. There was an unmistakeable saddness in her gaze, which was not surprising.

Lucrecia was actually more comfortable talking to them than she was to Vincent. She cared for Vincent deeply, and it was obvious how much he cared for her, but she really needed to be in the company of women to talk about her personal feelings right then.

Tifa cooked dinner and Yuffie suggested that they sit on the patio and eat. She had forgotten the fact that she had left her bedroom window cracked open. Marlene climbed up to her treehouse to play with her toys while she ate, to the sound of Tifa saying that she had better eat every bite. That left the three women alone at the patio table.

Tifa and Yuffie let Lucrecia talk most of the time, and finally Lucrecia said,

"Is it true...that my son is dead?"

"It's true," Tifa said.

"It's only...I think that I can still feel him...somehow."

_"That's not shocking, considering he's asleep in my bedroom right now,"_ thought Yuffie. What Yuffie didn't know was that the smell of dinner and the sound of the back door shutting had awakened Sephiroth and he was now listening to their conversation. He had peeked out the window, and caught a small glimpse of Lucrecia. He then had quickly ducked out of sight and sat underneath the window, but he still paid attention.

"I know all of the things that he did," Lucrecia said, "I made Vincent tell me. But I don't care. I still love him, and I would accept him if he...if he were alive. He was my son..."

"I understand..." Yuffie said.

"I think that if circumstances had been different, he wouldn't have turned to evil."

"...It's true that he never knew everything," Tifa said, "he had been lied to all of his life, and then he read those books in the library planted by Gast and Hojo. Did Vincent tell you about that?"

"Why, no. What happened?"

"Apparently Professor Gast and Hojo had some books made that said that Sephiroth had been a product of Jenova cells, conceived in a test tube and born in a tank, knowing that someday Sephiroth would find it, and believe it. That's probably why Sephiroth was sent on that mission, to the Mako reactor on Mt. Nibel. Hojo arranged it, no doubt. We heard from Hojo's own mouth that Sephiroth was his son, and that Sephiroth had never known who his real parents were, and that he wanted his son to become a god, or like one, anyway."

When Sephiroth had first heard his name spoken, he had thought that maybe Lucrecia had something to do with his "production." But when Tifa finished her explanation, Sephiroth felt as if his heart had turned to ice inside his chest. He shook his head violently. _What is this? It's not possible! That woman...my..._

Lucrecia said, sadly, "Professor Gast and Hojo always were tricksters. Hojo convinced me that he loved me, when we were very young. I don't really know if he did or not. If he did, he loved his science more. It was two weeks after I told him that I was pregnant that he suggested the experiment. He insisted that by infusing it with Jenova cells, the baby could become a powerful warrior and a great man or woman to lead the world in peace. He didn't tell me that I would never be a mother to it. They took him away from me almost the moment he was born, and I never saw him again. Gast had me sent away."

"I'm so sorry, Lucrecia," Tifa was starting to cry.

_How could this be true?_ Sephiroth thought, wanting to look out the window to take another look at the woman who could be his mother, _How could everything they put in those books be a falsehood?_

"Everyday," Lucrecia said, "I wondered what became of him. I wondered if he were all right, and if he had become a great warrior as Hojo had said. Well, now I know he did. I know I would have been proud of him, and I would have told him so. I didn't even know if Hojo had raised him as a son, but he was nothing more to him than a...precious specimen. His own son!" And then Lucrecia couldn't hold back her tears anymore and she started crying.

_Yes, it's true... Everything..._ Sephiroth pulled at his hair, causing some of the strands to come loose,_All of it! Jenova lied to me, Gast lied to me, and Hojo... Hojo! Hojo was my father! That sniveling toad!_

Sephiroth remembered how Hojo would lecture him, sometimes patronizingly and sometimes angrily, and how cooly Professor Gast had told him that Jenova was his mother and she died in childbirth, abandoned by his father. That had been a lie to prompt Sephiroth to believe the other lie, that he had no father.

And Yuffie had known the truth. She had thought about telling him but stopped. Sephiroth knew that he would not have listened to her if she had tried to tell him, but discovering the truth this way was doubly painful.

"Lucrecia..." Yuffie said, being the only person on the patio who was able to maintain her wits (since she knew that Sephiroth really wasn't dead),"What if there were a way for Sephiroth to come back?"

Lucrecia blinked through her tears, "What do you mean?"

"Well, _you're_ alive. What if Sephiroth is somewhere alive too?"

"But...wouldn't that be dangerous?" Tifa said, "He tried to destroy the world!"

"No, I mean, if he was the way he was before Jenova transformed him, and if he really wanted to change for good, would you want that, Lucrecia?"

"A chance to be with my son?" Lucrecia's face glowed, "It's what I want more than anything in the world. Do you really think it's possible?

"It could be," Yuffie answered.

The ice around Sephiroth's heart melted as he began to realize his situation. He was not some "thing" created in a laboratory to satisfy a scientific curiosity, with a destruction-bent being for a "mother." He was a human being, flesh and blood, with a real mother who loved him no matter what he had done.

But the anger had still not quite left him. He hated Hojo and Gast for what they had done to him. He buried his face in his arms, and for the first time since he was a little child, wept bitterly.

_Late at night..._

Yuffie went into her room after saying good night to Tifa, Lucrecia, and Marlene. She had been carrying a plate of food in her hands to give to Sephiroth and was surprised to see him sitting underneath the window.

"Sephiroth?" she spoke softly, "What're you doing down there? Is something wrong?"

Sephiroth looked up in and in the lamplight, Yuffie could see trails of tears coming down his face. She was amazed, and she went and kneeled down in front of him. He didn't say anything, but maintained a very stern look. She put the plate down and touched one of his hands, which were resting upon his knees. He snatched his hand away from hers and looked away.

"I heard..." he said, his voice hoarse from crying.

Yuffie gasped, "You mean...everything?"

Sephiroth nodded. He wanted to wipe the tears off of his face, but he didn't want to humiliate himself more than he had since it was already obvious that he had been weeping.

"I'm sorry, Sephiroth," Yuffie's voice betrayed that she was starting to cry, "I'm so sorry. I was going to tell you now, after you finished eating."

"I'm not hungry."

"...I didn't mean for you to find out the way you did."

"Leave me..."

Yuffie sniffled and walked out of the bedroom, not caring that someone had just ordered her out of her own room. She pitied him too much for that.

_"I have to think..."_ she said in her thoughts, _"What are we going to do about this...? I need some fresh air."_

Sephiroth was still wallowing in his misery when he heard the front door open. He thought,

_"She isn't going outside, is she? It's nearly midnight..."_

The door shut.


	6. The End of a Long Day

**Disclaimer:** Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII, nor is she making money from this.

Chapter Six- The End of a Long Day

Yuffie walked into the town square, her feet clopping against the pavement. It was a warm night, but not muggy. The moonlight was shining its brightest and the stars were out. Yuffie looked up and tried to find a constellation.

"Hey, there..."

The voice belonged to a man coming out of the bar with his three companions. Yuffie didn't recognize him (and she and her friends knew everyone in Kalm by now), so she guessed that they were just passing through. She felt that she should run, but her house was several blocks away. But, she thought, she could probably take four drunks, even without a weapon.

That is, until she saw the eyes of the man who addressed her. They were brown, but they glowed in the dark. He was obviously an ex-member of SOLDIER, and his friends, though they had a little too much to drink, were still steady on their feet and strong.

"A little girl like you shouldn't be out so late," the ex-SOLDIER said.

Yuffie turned and tried to run, but the ex-SOLDIER caught up with her fairly quickly and grabbed her, covering her mouth with his hand. The other three went to them and the second said,

"Let's take her outside the town, where nobody will hear us."

Yuffie kicked two of the men in the stomach and bit the hand of the ex-SOLDIER, drawing blood. He hissed in pain, grabbed Yuffie, and threw her to the ground.

"You little b#$#$!" he growled, and he kicked her hard in the side, "You've just made it a little worse for yourself, I'm afraid." The fourth one took out a bandana, gagged Yuffie, and grabbed her hair. He then forced her to face him and he backhanded her, on both sides of her face. The second time he busted her lip. He then drove his knee into her stomach.

"Feels good, hmm?" he seethed, "You're about to feel a lot better, sweet thing!"

They reached the grassy plains outside of the village and the fourth man forced Yuffie to get on the ground. She kicked and struggled, but then he hit her on the head, rendering her unable to use her muscles for a moment. She felt like she had just been put between a hammer and anvil. She writhed about, but feebly.

"How do you like it? Face up or face down?" the fourth man addressed his companions.

"Face up is a lot more fun," the third one said.

"I don't know," the second one said, "she's a kicker."

"It really doesn't matter if they kick or not once you get between their legs," the ex-SOLDIER answered.

"Face up, then."

"Now," the fourth one said, "which one of us gets to go first?"

"I spotted her in the street," the ex-SOLDIER said.

Apparently the others weren't willing to argue with an ex-member of SOLDIER, because they conceded. The fourth one would hold Yuffie down until the ex-SOLDIER was through.

But as the ex-SOLDIER started to kneel down in front of Yuffie, a dark figure emerged from the shadows and kicked him aside. All they could see of this intruder was the moonlight reflecting his sword, seven feet long, and his silver hair. His eyes glowed green. Before the others could do anything, the warrior leapt at them, swiped the front of the second one with his sword, and kicked the third one in the head. He then went to the fourth one and pushed him down to the ground and held him there with his bare foot, holding the tip of his sword to the man's throat.

"Just what did you think you were doing?" he asked.

"Easy, man!" the fourth one whined, "Easy...!"

"I have not killed your companions, and I will not kill you, but only if you leave this place, and never come here again, or I _will_ kill you. Is that understood?"

"Yeah! Yeah!"

"Then get out of here."

The fourth man scrambled away, with the others who were crawling away and whimpering in fear. Sephiroth waited until they had vanished into the darkness before he strapped his sword on his back and went to Yuffie's side. She was moaning and crying. He took the gag from her mouth and asked her,

"Can you walk?"

"I'll try..." she feebly answered.

But when she tried to sit up, she fell back and clutched her side.

"It hurts...It hurts..."

Sephiroth knew that he couldn't leave Yuffie here by herself, but he was cautious about moving her at the same time. He would have to risk it. He gave her back the bandana.

"Here, bite on this until I can get you safely home."

Yuffie took the cloth between her teeth and winced horribly when Sephiroth (as gently as he could) scooped her up. He hadn't realized before how petite she really was. He tried to take slow, soft steps so not to jerk Yuffie too terribly. He had to make her stand up for one brief, painful moment when he opened the front door. The house was still dark, so neither one of them had awakened anyone, apparently.

The lamp was still on in her bedroom. He gently placed her on her bed and then shut the door. She took the bandana from her mouth and whimpered. Tears were streaming down her red and battered face, and it was obvious that she was in a lot more pain than she let on. She sucked in air and spoke in gasps and shudders,

"Doctor...Doctor..."

"Where?" Sephiroth asked.

"Andrus Street...Next street to the right...Has rosebushes out front, and a sign with 'Doctor Kerring' on it..."

"Yuffie?" It was Lucrecia. She opened Yuffie's bedroom door, "Yuffie, who are you...? Oh! Who are _you_?" she addressed Sephiroth.

Sephiroth lost his speech for a moment while he looked at his mother. She had no idea who he was, though he was the very person that she so desired to see. He collected himself and answered, feebly,

"She was attacked...I..."

"He...He rescued me...Don't hurt him..." Yuffie cried.

"I have to fetch a doctor," Sephiroth said, "Please watch over her until I return."

"Of course..." Lucrecia was amazed, but made no objections, until it finally occurred to her that she had not asked the gentleman's name. But he was already out of the house by the time she thought of it.

Lucrecia knelt by Yuffie's bed and asked,

"What were you doing out by yourself in the middle of the night? You could have been killed."

"I'm sorry...Were travelers...Didn't know..."

"It's all right. Don't excite yourself, dear."

Tifa, aroused by the sound of the front door shutting, walked into the bedroom and gasped,

"Yuffie! What happened?"

"She went walking out by herself and was attacked, by travelers, apparently," Lucrecia explained, "But, thank heaven, someone saved her and brought her back home. He went to get the doctor."

"Who was it?" Tifa asked.

"He must have been in SOLDIER once. He had green eyes that glowed, and long, silver hair. He also had a sword strapped on his back that must've been six or seven feet long. I've never seen a weapon like that before."

Tifa's eyes went as wide as saucers, "That...that sounds a lot like... But it couldn't be..."

"Like who, Tifa? Do you know him?"

"Tifa...please...I...can explain," Yuffie whimpered, almost delirious from the pain, "He saved me...He...wants to be good..."

Tifa, her expression becoming very hard and stern, approached the bed, leaned down, and whispered sharply to Yuffie,

"Who is it, Yuffie?"

"Tifa, don't be unkind to her!" Lucrecia said, "See how much pain she's in!"

"It's okay..." Yuffie said, "It's...It's...Sephiroth..."

Tifa froze in shock, while Lucrecia clasped her hands over her chest.

"Sephiroth?" she spoke, "...my son?"

Tifa thought, though she dare not say it outloud in front of Lucrecia, _"My hometown's incendiary? My father's murderer? My husband's tormenter? In my **house**?!?"_

Yuffie replied, her voice choked as if she had heard Tifa's thoughts as well as Lucrecia's question, "Yes..."

Tifa and Lucrecia's emotions were going in entirely different directions. Tifa was slowly being filled with horror, mixed with a touch of anger and a pinch of hysteria. Lucrecia, on the other hand, was gradually becoming more happy with every second. She took Tifa's hands and exclaimed,

"My son's alive! And he does wish to change! Oh, Tifa!" she tightly embraced her friend and went on, "he's coming with the doctor in a moment. He'll be_ here_!"

"That's wonderful..." Tifa's voice trailed off in her attempt to sound excited for Lucrecia's sake, _"As long as he doesn't kill us."_

It made sense that he would be alive, if Lucrecia was alive. But if he had wanted to do them harm, why would he rescue Yuffie from the travelers? Or maybe he had used a mind trick on Yuffie, and he really did the damage to her himself, and he wanted to lull them into his confidence by fetching the doctor. But what could Tifa do about it if his intentions were deadly? The Holy Materia had dried up the powers of all other Materia when it was released. Sephiroth's power came from his Jenova cells, and his brute strength was enough to slay a dragon.

But then she saw a bandana on Yuffie's face, beside her head. She took it and asked,

"Yuffie, where did you get this?"

"One of men gagged me with it..." Yuffie answered, only opening her eyes for one moment before shutting them again in pain.

Tifa did not mind that this thing had been in Yuffie's mouth if it were a clue as to what really happened. The bandana was a red color, with white leaf-like patterns on it. The label was still attached to it: _Made in Junon_. There were some letters written in permanent ink along the hem that read: _Lt. E. M_.

Tifa knew in her heart that this did not point to Sephiroth, but it all seemed so impossible. Part of her wanted to continue thinking of Sephiroth as her mortal enemy, while another part of her wanted to believe that he had turned a new leaf over. She didn't have much time to think about it since at that moment she heard the front door open and close.

A few seconds later, Dr. Kerring (a kindly, elderly man) entered the room with his bag, followed by Sephiroth. Sephiroth saw Tifa and Lucrecia in the room and he froze in the doorway. The three stared at each other in total silence while Kerring nonchalantly went to Yuffie's bedside and began to examine her. A couple of minutes went by as Kerring asked Yuffie questions and gently scrutinized her wounds.

"You know, I knew those men were trouble the moment they came into town..." he muttered.

Tifa stuttered, not taking her eyes from Sephiroth, "You...You saw them?"

"One of them came by the house asking me to take a huge splinter out. You'd figure a former member of Shinra military would..."

"Military?"

"Mm-hmm..." Kerring went on as he examined Yuffie's ribcage, "mean-looking fellow. If I'd known he and his buddies would do something like this, I'd a' done worse than run them out of town..." he turned to Sephiroth, "I commend your control, young man. And it's a good thing you got me here."

"Is she going to be all right?" Sephiroth spoke for the first time since he came in.

"She'll be fine, eventually. There's nothing fatal. But she has a black eye, a concussion, a busted lip, a huge bruise on her right cheek, and four bruised ribs. If they were broken, we'd have something to really worry about. But she was lucky. Unfortunately," Kerring started searching through his bag, "bruised bones are a good deal more painful than harmful, even more painful than broken bones." He pulled out a bottle of medicine, "She'll have to take a tablespoon of this about every four to six hours. And she will need total bed rest, or the pain will be worse."

"How long?" Yuffie asked, as the doctor measured some of the medicine out in a plastic cup.

"A few weeks," he replied.

"Weeks..." she whined, turning her head away.

"Yes, weeks, young lady," Kerring had her take the medicine and then he patted her gently on the arm, "be thankful it wasn't any worse," he addressed Sephiroth, "If she can stand the pain, it would be all right for you to carry her to the living room sofa and let her lay there if she wanted to be in the thick of things. But no other activity except that."

Lucrecia was no longer able to contain herself. Not caring if the doctor was still there or not, she rushed to Sephiroth and wrapped her arms around him.

"My baby! My baby!" she exclaimed.

Having never been addressed as "my baby" before, coupled with receiving a bear hug from his real mother, sent Sephiroth into greater shock than he already was in.

"It's you!" Lucrecia continued, "Just look at you! You've grown so tall! So handsome!"

As Kerring opened his mouth to ask something, Tifa jumped in,

"How much do we owe you, Doctor?"

"Uh...I'll send notice," he answered, "...Did I miss something here?"

"Yes, you did. Thank you so much for coming, Doctor, but I think it would be prudent if..."

"I see...Well, good night." Kerring took his bag and walked out, saying over his shoulder for them to fetch him if he was needed.

Yuffie was apparently very sensitive to the medication. She was already asleep. Tifa stood in a solemn silence as she looked at the former General. He didn't seem insane, or vicious, or even arrogant. He looked like one of most humbled individuals she had ever beheld. That mayhave been owed a little to the fact that he had been defeated several times in battle by the same people. And he had somehow learned the truth about himself, or he would not have accepted Lucrecia's hug so easily. Perhaps Yuffie had told him.

Lucrecia still had not let go of Sephiroth. When she did, she put her hands to his face, brushing away his bangs so she could get an evenbetter look. He managed to speak,

"I...don't know what to say to you, Mother..."

"You don't have to say anything!" Lucrecia answered, tears pouring down hercheeks,"Do you know how long I've waited for this? Do you know how often I've prayed for a second chance?"

"Mother, I..." But he still couldn't find words.

After another moment of quiet, Tifa stepped forward,

"Well...I guess we've got to give you a place to sleep... You can stay in Barret's room," Tifa squinted her eyes and looked at Sephiroth closer, "Speaking of Barret, is that his shirt? And his _pants?_"

Sephiroth looked down at the clothes he was wearing, and he nodded. He indicated Yuffie,

"She found them for me when I needed a change of clothes... I thank you for allowing me to stay here, after...everything."

"...You're welcome." _What are we going to do when Cloud gets back here, though?_


	7. A Scientist's Confession, and a Ninja's

(Kit Thespian enters stage)

Kit Thespian: And now, to give the Disclaimer... Rufus Shinra!

(Rufus' Welcoming Ceremony music plays, and Rufus enters the stage, waving to all the adoring fangirls and smiling congenially, loving the attention.)

Rufus: Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the...

(Tseng storms in)

Tseng: Hey, why do _you_ get to do a Disclaimer? You're not even in the story!

Rufus: Well, neither are _you_!

Tseng: ...What difference does that make? I'm tougher than you!

Rufus: I'm better-looking!

Tseng: At least I was able to get a date set up with Elena before I was killed in the game. As I recall, you were single to the bitter end.

Rufus: Shut up!

Tseng (sing-song): Single, single, siiiingllllle!

Rufus: Dark Nation, _sic 'im_!

(Dark Nation appears out of nowhere and jumps on Tseng. While they struggle, Rufus turns back to the audience, grins, and continues.)

Rufus: Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making money off of this...

(Gunshot sounds. Dark Nation falls to the floor in a heap and Tseng stands up, triumphantly blowing the smoke away from his pistol.)

Rufus (wailing): Dark Nation! My precious poochie! (to Tseng) _You_! (he jumps on Tseng and they disappear in a cloud of dust and hair.)

Kit Thespian (a little dumbfounded): Umm...(faces audience) Time for the story, everyone! (shouts offstage) You can cut the music off now!

(Rufus' Welcoming Ceremony music, which has been playing this entire time, abruptly turns off. Kit Thespian walks offstage while Rufus and Tseng still battle in the cloud of dust and hair.)

Chapter Seven- A Scientist's Confession, and a Ninja's

Tifa awakened the next morning, overcome with waves of nausea. Morning sickness was probably the least enjoyable "joys" of pregnancy. It made it difficult to move, speak, or think clearly. The first thought that came to her mind was:

_"I was supposed to remember something important... Now, what was it?"_

She went to her bathroom and retched. After rinsing her mouth out, she thought some more,

_"Let's see... Lucrecia said that she would cook if I wasn't feeling up to it. Maybe that's it, that I need to tell her that she should cook today."_

As Tifa opened her bedroom door, she felt something nagging the back of her mind, telling her that that wasn't the only thing that she was supposed to remember. Maybe it was something that she needed to do that day, like laundry or errands. No, it was more important than that. When she passed by Yuffie's bedroom, she thought,

_"Yuffie needs her medicine, I remember that. But there was something else..."_

She finally reached the kitchen to find that Lucrecia was already up and pouring herself a glass of juice. It was seven-thirty in the morning, by the clock, and Marlene obviously wasn't up yet. Tifa stopped at the kitchen doorway and said, her voice slurring,

"Lucrecia, I need you to cook today. I'm just miserable..."

"Good grief!" Lucrecia gasped when she saw how sick and green Tifa looked, "You go to bed. I'll take care of everything."

"Yuffie needs her medicine..."

"I'll give it to her. March back to bed this instant."

Tifa had to appreciate how funny it was that Lucrecia was a fifty-something year old trapped in a young woman's body, and she behaved as such. She was probably going to "mommy" everybody when they got back, like making sure that Cloud combed his hair or that Barret watched his language. Tifa was about to turn back and go to her bedroom when a deep voice asked,

"What's wrong with you?"

Tifa looked to find Sephiroth sitting at the kitchen table eating cereal and toast with a glass of milk.

_"Oh, yeah..."_ she thought, _"That was it. Sephiroth is living here now. Okay..."_ She said, "Just morning sickness. Good night." And she left the kitchen.

Sephiroth stared at the empty doorway for a moment before turning back to his mother and saying,

"Morning sickness?"

"Most pregnant women get it," Lucrecia said, sitting down at the table.

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, "She must _really_ be sick. She didn't seem to notice me."

"Sometimes morning sickness drains you of all rational thought. Why, when I... Never mind."

"What? When you what?"

"Nothing. I don't want to embarrass you."

"I hardly care at this point, Mother."

"Well...when I was pregnant with you, I would get the worst sickness. Your father..." Lucrecia stopped and she looked away. Sephiroth sat in silence until she was ready to speak again. She said, "Sephiroth...how much did Yuffie tell you about what I said to her? I mean, how much do you know?"

"...Everything you said."

"I see... Sephiroth, I was very upset yesterday, and...Sephiroth, look at me," Once she was sure that she had her son's attention, Lucrecia went on, "I said some things that I really shouldn't have said. About your father, I mean. He...He did not always intend for you to be used in an experiment. He and Professor Gast had been contemplating injecting Jenova cells into a human adult for a while before...before you...erm...happened."

Sephiroth had been chewing on his toast for a couple of moments when Lucrecia said this, and he paused, staring straight ahead for a moment. He swallowed his bite and said,

"Happened?"

"Yep..."

"I see..."

Lucrecia swallowed the lump forming in her throat, and continued, "Hojo injected himself with Jenova cells after I was already pregnant with you. They did some tests, and it seemed to have very little effect on him, except to perhaps slow his aging process a little. They deduced it was because his cells were too mature to take in the properties of the Jenova cells. But they did have an effect on him, Sephiroth, on his mind. He became colder, and by the time you were born, he couldn't find it within himself to give up the experiment. But he might have considered it, if only for a short while."

"But he still went through with it."

"Yes...though I sometimes wonder if he ever regretted what he did..." Lucrecia got up from the table and headed for the door, "I need to give Yuffie her medicine."

"Did you love him?" Sephiroth abruptly asked.

Lucrecia stopped in the doorway, and she leaned against the frame. She wouldn't turn around, because she didn't want her son to see the tear trails newly formed on her face, but she did answer, though her voice was choked and gave away her emotions.

"Yes..."

"Mother..." Sephiroth stood up, alarmed that she was crying.

"No, it's okay. I'll be all right..." And she walked out of the kitchen and went to Yuffie's room.

Yuffie was still asleep. Lucrecia shut the door and sniffled. She hardly knew what to say or even think. Who knows how cruel Hojo had been to Sephiroth? He had been horridly cruel to her, and all she could say to it was that she had loved him, and that she _still_ loved him, for all of his wretchedness.

_"I'm a fool...I've always been a fool..."_

"Whothere...?" Yuffie slurred, stirring awake. Lucrecia raised an eyebrow, amused despite her tears. Apparently the pain medication was extremely effective.

"It's me, Yuffie. Lucrecia."

"Oh, okee..."

"How are you this morning?" Lucrecia approached the bedside and reaching for the waiting bottle and tablespoon.

"Juth thine and danny..." Yuffie said, "My thide thure ith thoar."

Lucrecia was somehow able to interpret the sentence and she replied,

"I'll bet it is. You took a knocking last night."

"Sheesh...Can' tahk worth cwap."

"No, you can't. Here," Lucrecia unscrewed the lid from the bottle and started to pour the medicine, "take this and you can sleep some more."

"Don' wanna sweep..."

"Well, you're going to anyway."

"Whath id that sthuff addeeway?"

"I don't know, and I really don't care as long as you take it."

After swallowing the liquid, Yuffie said, "Thephiwoth id nice, ithn't 'e?

"Yes, he is."

"Id aways thought 'e wath a megatherk, but 'e turned ow pwetty cool."

"...I'm sorry, I didn't quite get all that."

"Ye' know..." Yuffie continued as if she hadn't heard Lucrecia's last statement, "when I firth sa' 'im, I thought that ebben dough 'e wath an ebil thycho, I thought 'e was dead thexy..."

Lucrecia understood that last part. She had to stifle a scream of laughter and Yuffie went on,

"I dunno. Thereth juth thomething 'bout a throng, thilent dude. 'Cept 'e wadn't thilent when I firth met 'im. 'E wath laughin' mani-ick-cawy. _Now_ heth throng an' thilent."

Lucrecia was on the verge of laughing "mani-ick-cawy". She got up and said,

"I think you should sleep now."

"D'ya tink 'e likes me?"

"Who?"

"Thephiwoth."

"...What makes you say that?"

"I dunno. Juth a thought...Nighty night."

"...Sleep tight."

Lucrecia left the bedroom, the wheels in her head beginning to turn...


	8. Trust? Perhaps

(Kit Thespian enters the stage, with Cid Highwind at her side)

Kit Thespian: You're saying the Disclaimer, whether you like it or not!

Cid: I hate this _-bleepity bleep-_ public speaking! Why do we have to have these _-bleep-_ Disclaimers anyway?

Kit Thespian: Hey, don't…diss…the Disclaimer. We have to have them so I won't get _sued_. And if I get sued, guess who I am going to inflict horrid tortures upon?

Cid: ...Sephiroth?

Kit Thespian: _You!_

Cid: Why me?

Kit Thespian: Because it will have been your fault if I'm sued for not posting a Disclaimer on this chapter. Now, disclaim!

Cid (groans): Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making money off of this. (turns to Kit Thespian) At _least_, we could change the _-bleep- _Disclaimer. It's the same _-bleepity bleep- _Disclaimer every _-bleeping-_ time!

Kit Thespian: Boy, I'm going to wash your mouth out with soap!

Cid: Aw, _-bleep-_ I get enough of that _-bleep-_ from Shera.

Kit Thespian: That's it! (grabs Cid by the ear and drags him offstage)

Cid: Ow, ow! Easy, lady!

Kit Thespian: Are you disrespecting my authority?

Cid: No!

Kit Thespian: Just for that, you get generic soap!

Cid: NOOOO!

_Author's note: Flashbacks are in italics._

Chapter Eight- Trust? Perhaps...

Tifa woke up later that morning to the sound of Marlene talking to someone in the living room.

"Come on, Mr. Roth. It's really easy. _The itsy bitsy spider went up the waterspout…_"

"You sing it better than I would," said an all-too-familiar voice.

Tifa jumped out of bed, put on her bathrobe, and walked into the living room to find Sephiroth, still dressed in Barret's clothes, sitting on the couch with Marlene sitting on his lap, facing him. Lucrecia was sitting in a chair nearby, grinning as she watched the little girl attempting to teach "Mr. Roth" the Itsy Bitsy Spider song.

"It's okay," Marlene took Sephiroth's hands and held them up for him to do the first motion, "it's like this. _The itsy bitsy spider went up the waterspout, down came the rain and washed the spider out…_"

Tifa was too overcome with nervousness to think of the situation and she said, "What are you doing?"

"Singing!" Marlene grinned, oblivious to Tifa's anxiety. Sephiroth was wise to notice it, however, and he gently took Marlene off of his lap and put her on the sofa.

"I think that's enough singing for now," he said.

"Aww…" Marlene crossed her arms.

"Marlene," Lucrecia said, "why don't you show me your treehouse?"

"Okay!" Marlene jumped off the sofa and walked with Lucrecia towards the back door. Once they were out of the house, Sephiroth and Tifa remained in a tense silence for a moment, before Tifa sat down on a recliner, and said,

"You seem less threatening without your armor."

"There's hardly a need to wear it anymore…I should hope," Sephiroth answered.

There was another silence. The two wouldn't look at each other for a moment.

"I don't have to trust you, you know," Tifa spoke.

"I know... There's been no call for you to trust me. There's been no call for me to trust you," then he looked at Tifa and said, "But this will be a living hell if we don't."

Tifa had to admit that there was sense in that statement. She said, "Why did you help Yuffie?"

"Because she needed it."

"Is that the only reason?"

"Perhaps I wished to."

"Perhaps?"

"Perhaps."

Tifa knew enough "macho-ese" to know that "perhaps" meant yes.

"Why?" she asked.

"...Because she had the grace to accept me into this household. Besides, it is a horrid shame for something to happen to her. She is quite an amusing person. And she seems to think that I have a demented taste in clothes..." He looked at the picture of the corpse outline in the city street on his t-shirt. He turned back to Tifa, "I don't blame her. If I spied a man who walked around in leather armor all the time I would think he had a demented taste in clothes as well."

"Are you saying that one of my best friends has a demented taste in clothes?" Actually, Tifa knew that Cid had given the shirt to Barret as kind of a joke. It was, in truth, a very freaky t-shirt.

Sephiroth replied, "Well, I wouldn't exactly call this shirt 'garden-variety'... And besides...it was my fault that she got hurt..."

Tifa raised a suspicious eyebrow, "How so?"

"If I had not...I was very cross with her last night...because I found out the truth, about my mother. So she went outside... Forgive me."

"Well..." Tifa paused a moment before answering, "if she was so willing to forgive you and speak on your behalf, then I suppose I should forgive you as well. For that."

The coldness in Tifa's voice as she spoke that last statement brought something else to Sephiroth's mind. He studied her face, her eyes, and a memory was brought to him...

_"How could you do that to Papa and all the townspeople?"_

_The girl with the hat rushed up the stairs, carrying Sephiroth's sword in her hands. Her rage and rush of adrenaline must have given her the strength to pick it up. But her mistake was trying to wield it. Sephiroth easily caught her wrist, wrestled the sword out of her grip, and slashed her chest with it. The girl felt back and tumbled down the stairs. _

_**"What are you doing?"** the remnants of Sephiroth's former sanity called to him, **"She was only a child, bereft of a father... They were innocent people... Is it plausible that this thing is your mother? Are you quite sure of it?"**_

_But the voice of Jenova fought viciously against his own and dissuaded him from feeling pity for the girl, or changing his mind about what he was certain of at this point. Without cracking any emotions, Sephiroth turned and walked into the room where Jenova awaited..._

"You're the guide..." Sephiroth said, "the girl in the Nibelheim reactor. Mr. Lockheart's daughter..." Tifa stared at Sephiroth, her eyes becoming angry at the reminder.When she didn't respond, he went on, "I don't expect your forgiveness..."

"You don't deserve it!" Tifa blurted, a tear rolling down her face.

"You're right; I don't... But I am asking for it."

Tifa couldn't believe her ears. Her most prominent memories of Sephiroth were a man with an ego so big that he would allow no signs of stooping to ask anything of anyone. It had seemed a small thing to ask forgiveness for what happened the previous night compared to asking forgiveness for what had happened seven years ago in Nibelheim.

Then Tifa put herself in Sephiroth's shoes. The man had so much blood on his hands that it was incredible to think of it. But then, Tifa thought of the "purity" of her own hands. How many people had she killed? She had killed in self-defense, and Sephiroth had killed in a frenzied insanity. How much were either one of them to blame for their actions?

Sephiroth spoke, "I am trying to forgive myself. I have done horrible things; things that were in my control, and things beyond it. I have no right to ask for your friendship. But if I can atone myself, then please help me."

Tifa had to make a choice, a decision then and there. She drew in a deep breath and said, "Very well... I suppose I can try..."

Sephiroth's eyes softened with gratefulness, "Thank you."

From that time on, Sephiroth and Tifa were able enough to comfortably stay in each other's company, without one suspiciously regarding the other constantly. Ironically enough, when they would speak to each other, they would usually talk about Cloud. About three days after the incident, Yuffie mumbled that she wanted to lie down in the living room on the sofa. While Tifa and Lucrecia instructed Marlene not to play with Auntie Yuffie, Sephiroth carefully carried Yuffie into the living room, wrapped in a blanket, and put her on the sofa.

Yuffie didn't talk much but she liked to watch everyone, with a hazy expression on her face. Marlene had crawled into Sephiroth's lap again, and, after a few minutes, she said,

"Aunt Tifa and Uncle Cloud are going to have a baby, Mr. Roth. You need to get married and have lots of babies!"

Tifa let out a scream of laughter and then tried to stifle it. Lucrecia chuckled and her son rolled his eyes.

"Marlene," Sephiroth said, "we've been through this."

Marlene pursed her lips and turned to Lucrecia and Tifa, "Don't you think he needs to get married?"

"I think he does," Lucrecia said.

Sephiroth groaned, "Mother, don't encourage her."

"I'm not trying to encourage her. I'm trying to encourage _you_."

"What?"

"Heh, heh, heh..." Yuffie weakly laughed at Sephiroth's distraught state. He threw her a look and then said to Lucrecia,

"Don't tell me your one of those classic mothers who is constantly trying to set her child up with someone of the opposite sex."

Lucrecia grinned, knowing that what she was about to say would get a rise out of Sephiroth, "What's wrong with wanting grandchildren?"

Sephiroth was truly horrifed, "Grandchildren! Mother..." Sephiroth bit his tongue as the blood rushed to his face.

"Mr. Roth, why's your face turning red?" Marlene cocked her head quizzically.

"Thephiwoth's blushing, heh, heh, heh..." Yuffie chuckled.

Sephiroth grimaced at the drugged ninja and grunted as he decided just to let the incident go, for there was nothing he could do (within reason) to make Tifa and Lucrecia quit laughing.


	9. Nothing Short Of Calamity

(enter Kit Thespian)

Kit Thespian: And this time, to deliver the Disclaimer, we have... Yuffie!

(Yuffie runs onstage, blowing kisses to the cheering crowd)

Yuffie: Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here till Thursday! Try the coffee!

Kit Thespian: Uh, that's great, Yuffie...Could you give the Disclaimer now?

Yuffie: Actually...I have a bone to pick with you!

Kit Thespian: What? Whatever for?

Yuffie: I'm a vegetable in your story!

Kit Thespian: Are not! You only have a few injuries that you will recover from eventually.

Yuffie: But I'm stoned all the time! I mean, come on, 'Thephiwoth'? Gawd!

Kit Thespian: Hey, at least you got to be rescued and carried around by good-looking dude. Not many girls get that chance.

Yuffie (crossing her arms): Hmph...

Kit Thespian (a little sternly): Look, missy, as I recall, Cloud's only a call away, and he's still a little steamed at you and Sephiroth for selling the pictures of his "musical number" to the Nibelheim Enquirer.

Yuffie (chuckling): That _was_ kinda funny, wasn't it?

Kit Thespian: You don't seem to get my point. I said, Cloud's only a call away. (calls offstage) Oh, Cloud! I found Yuffie!

Cloud (a distance away): _Where? Her butt is mine! I'll **kill** her!_

Yuffie (panicking): Kit Thespian! You can't do this to me!

Kit Thespian: What, the Great Ninja Yuffie scared of a blond?

Yuffie: My "All Creation" is nothing to scoff at, but I'm not in the mood to be "Omnislash"-ed!

Kit Thespian (looking offstage): Y'know, it's funny you mention "Omnislash" because Cloud's headed this way looking all red like he's about to Limit Break, and is that a "Knights of the Round" materia I see in his Ultima Weapon?

Yuffie: Eep! (gets on her knees) You gotta help me, Kit Thespian, or I'm toast!

Kit Thespian: Say you'll do the Disclaimer.

Yuffie: _I'll do it!_

Kit Thespian (calls offstage): Never mind, Cloud! Just a mirage!

Cloud: _A mirage? The desert's a hundred miles away!_

Kit Thespian: Yeah, but I'm really thirsty. Say, Cloud, I think I heard that Yuffie was going back to Nibelheim. Why don't you check it out?

Cloud: _Yeah...and when I get my hands on that little pipsqueak, I'm gonna Omnislash her until she begs for death!_

Kit Thespian: That's nice, Cloud! You do that! Bye! (a moment passes) He's gone.

Yuffie (grinning): The mighty, wonderful, benevolent Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making money off of this.

_Author's note: The reason why Tifa "forgave" so fast is because she simply made the **decision** to forgive and not hold anything against him. It will be a little while before she **completely** forgives him. Now, she feels comfortable that he won't do anything to them, but only time will heal her wounds. _

Chapter Nine- Nothing Short Of Calamity

It was ten days after the morning that Yuffie discovered Sephiroth in the treehouse. At this time, Tifa was doing a little better in the mornings, therefore she cooked. Lucrecia was a good cook, but Tifa was phenomenal, Sephiroth had to admit.

"No wonder you like boarding with them," Sephiroth said to Yuffie, with the _very_ slightest hint of teasing in his voice, "she cooks like nobody's business."

Yuffie was taking a little less of the pain medication now, so she wasn't _quite_ as drowsy as she was at first. She didn't lisp like she did. But she still had to lie down on the couch if she wanted to socialize. Sephiroth was seated on the floor in front of the couch. Marlene was playing outside with Lucrecia watching her, and Tifa was at the store.

Yuffie chuckled a little, but didn't say anything. She knew that Sephiroth didn't know about Wutai. He didn't really know much about the Weapons in general. Neither Lucrecia nor Tifa wanted to bring it up, lest Sephiroth have more to blame on himself, though the blame really rested on Jenova's shoulders.

"They're nice people," Yuffie said, albeit weakly, "Tifa was like a big sister to me the moment I joined the gang. I pestered Cloud like he was my brother. I'll say one thing to living here: you never get bored. Cloud and Barret make a living from bounty-hunting monsters and Shinra criminals. Tifa used to go with them, but now with the baby and all, I'd say she's doomed to be a housewife."

"...You're looking a lot better."

"Thank you. I feel better... My sides still hurt to no end, but it's bearable. As long as I stay still. You don't have to sit on the floor, you know."

"After sitting on the wooden floors of vans going over huge rocks, this rug doesn't seem so bad. You're better company than Zack...do you know about Zack?"

"Cloud told us, yeah."

"...Not to speak ill of the dead, but that was the single most annoying partner I ever had." After Yuffie quit chuckling at that, Sephiroth went on, "He constantly talked about his pending fame and glory, and all the new materia he was getting. Now, he was better than _no_ partner, but the fact remains... I never told Cloud, but I knew the reason why he wasn't inducted into SOLDIER."

"...Why?"

"If the evaluations of two candidates matched, a committee decided which of the candidates was to join SOLDIER by a vote. I was on the committee, of course, but the votes had the final say. Zack and Cloud's evaluation points were tied, so we had to vote one of them out. The votes came out 11-9, favoring Zack."

"That's close."

"I voted for Cloud, in case you were wondering. I spent enough hours training that boy at the SOLDIER facility to have confidence in him. I happened to find out a week after the vote took place that Zack had been...shall we say..._humoring_ three of the six female members of the committee. Needless to say, he got _their_ votes. If not for that, Cloud would have been inducted with a vote of 12-8."

"Omigosh" Yuffie was disgusted, "Y'mean to tell me the only reason why Cloud didn't get into SOLDIER was because that other guy was sleeping around?"

(_A/N: The legal age on the planet is sixteen. Same as Britain.)_

"There was hardly a thing I could do about it, considering that one of the women was President Shinra's sister, and her word took precedence over mine."

"But that's just so stupid... Thanks for keeping me company."

"I have nothing else to do."

On the inside, Sephiroth was wondering why on earth he was telling all these things to Yuffie. It had always been the other way around in the past. People would tell him everything they knew and he would scarcely care to open his mouth. Perhaps it was Yuffie's pathetic state. She did look better then she did the night she was injured, but she was still considerably pale, and her eyelids drooped. As a matter of fact, the only thing she moved was her mouth.

Sephiroth rose from his position, "I'll be back in a minute."

"Nature calls, huh?" Yuffie smirked.

Sephiroth did not dignify that remark with an answer, which was answer enough. Yuffie closed her eyes to rest them for a little while.

Only a couple of moments after Sephiroth disappeared into the bathroom, Yuffie heard the front door unlocking and opening. She thought at first that it was Tifa returning with the groceries. That is, until she heard a manly voice say,

"Shssh, guys, Yuffie's taking a nap."

That sounded like Cloud.

"Where's Tifa and Marlene? I'm starvin'."

Barret.

"Y'all got any tea?"

Cid.

"Hope Marlene likes her present."

Reeve.

"I think I see her in the backyard with Lucrecia."

Vincent.

Yuffie's eyes popped open and her heart rate began to increase, rapidly. Reeve noticed her stirring and said,

"Oh, look, she's awake. Hey, Yuffers, sorry to disturb you."

"Ahh...Ahh..." Yuffie couldn't find any words. Her body was tensing up with panic, and as a result her ribs were hurting badly, even with the medicine. Her head wasn't feeling too hot either. But her fear for her newfound friend outmastered her pain sensibility. The five men who aided the end of Sephiroth were all standing in the same room, and they were all still heavily armed from their journey.

"Yuffie, are you okay?" Cloud went to the couch and bent over, noticing how pale the ninja was.

"I...I was injured..." Yuffie stuttered, shaking with pain and anxiety, "Oh...Oh..."

"Where's Tifa?"

"At the st-store. Cloud, I can explain..."

"Explain what?" Cloud and Barret were confused. But the answer to their question came with Cid's loud exclamation.

"_Holy -bleep!_"

_"Oh, no..."_ Yuffie moaned in her thoughts.

All sounds in the room ceased. The five men stood dumbfounded with their jaws hanging down in total and complete shock. It was as if they were turned to stone and their hearts had gone numb and the blood in their veins conjealed. Their abashment was perfectly mirrored by the silver-haired man who stood in the door on the opposite side of the living room.

Somewhere in the distance, a pin dropped.

The next sounds heard were a sword unsheathing, a lance being unclasped, and two pistols and a machine gun being cocked, all simultaneously. Unarmed, Sephiroth was trapped like a rat. He wasn't necessarily frightened, but he knew that any sudden movement at this moment would be unwise.

"Don't kill him!" Yuffie wailed pitifully, "He's good now!"

"Say _what?_" Reeve said.

"How in the -_bleep_- did he get here?" Cid snapped.

"In my house?" Cloud hissed.

"An' in my _clothes?_" Barret growled.

"He rescued me!" Yuffie said, painfully trying to sit up, "I was attacked, and he rescued me!"

"_Sephiroth_ rescued you?" Cloud sneered, "Yuffie, he's probably brainwashed you! Stay out of this!"

Yuffie's face was red, but this time from anger "How dare you? Brainwash me? What are you thinking?"

"Don't move, you mother-_bleeper!_" Cid snapped at Sephiroth.

"Oh, you...you..." Yuffie cried at the pilot, "you _dumb blond!_"

Sephiroth's thoughts at this time were: _"This second chance was nice while it lasted. I am about to die...again."_

But then a shrill female voice emerged from the back door...

_"Don't...you...touch...my...baby!"_

Cloud's head was the nearest one so his was the first to come in contact with the broomstick that Lucrecia wielded at this moment.

"Ow! Ow!" Cloud dropped his sword to shield his head from the stick.

"I've waited more than thirty years to see my baby again and you have the audacity to try to kill him? Take that, and that!"

Barret was next, then Reeve. They both tried to protect themselves from the incoming blows, but they underestimated the wrath of an angry mother. Not to mention that Lucrecia crunched the instep of Cid's foot next before whacking him with the stick.

"Aw-_bleep-bleepity-bleep-bleep-bleeping-bleep-_, woman!" he screeched.

"I'm going to wash your mouth out with soap, you reprobate!" Lucrecia snapped, "pulling a weapon on my son when he's defenseless!"

"Sephiroth, defenseless?" Reeve held his sore head.

"And you!" Lucrecia seethed at Vincent, who was still in a shock, "Vincent Valentine! You're the worst one!" After whapping him a couple of times, she went on, "Nine months...No, _over_ nine months and twenty-seven hours of labor and you were going to wipe it out in a second!"

If Sephiroth were not so grateful to be alive he probably would have been a little embarrassed. It seemed like the other men were going to relent. Did they really have a choice? Lucrecia had gone back to Cloud for another round of hits.

"Okay! Okay! Uncle! Uncle!" Cloud held up his hands to try to placate the furious woman.

Lucrecia went and stood in front of her son, "If you want him, you'll have to get him _over my dead body!_"

"I said we surrender!" Cloud insisted. Then he said to Sephiroth, "As long as _you _don't do anything...!"

Lucrecia's expression changed to one of sympathetic concern as she turned to her son and said, putting a hand up to his face, "They didn't hurt you, did they? Any bruises? Bumps?"

"Er...I'd be more concerned for Yuffie than anyone else," Sephiroth said. He asked Yuffie, "Are you all right?"

Yuffie had been so surprised by the turn of events that she was ready to pass out. But at Sephiroth's question, she wheezed,

"I'm swell..."

"Oh, my goodness! Yuffie!" Lucrecia rushed to Yuffie, looked at her, and then angrily turned back to the other men, "You've probably frightened her half to death!"

"_We?_" Vincent raised an eyebrow.

"What's going on?" Marlene walked in from the backyard.

"Marlene!" Barret exclaimed, "Get back! 'Dere's a crazy man in da house!"

"Oh, don't worry!" Marlene beamed as she skipped over to Sephiroth, "Mr. Roth'll protect us!"

Barret was struck with horror, as were the other men. He squeaked, "I'm talking about Mr. Roth...I mean, Sephiroth...I mean...Wait..._Mr. Roth_? _That's_ Mr. Roth?"

"Uh-huh," Marlene nodded. She then proceeded to hug Sephiroth's leg, "He's my best friend!"

"Marlene," Sephiroth whispered, trying to get the little girl to detach herself from his leg, "this may not be the best time..."

"Mr. Roth dat lives in da _treehouse?_" Barret threw an angry glare at Yuffie.

"...Yep," Yuffie answered.

The proverbial steam began to pour from Barret's ears and he spat, "You mean he's been livin' here dis whole time?"

"You've been harboring _Sephiroth?_" Cid gasped.

"The man who tried to destroy the world so he could become a god," Reeve said, "has been living under this roof? What were you thinking?"

"He's past all that!" Lucrecia said, assuming her protective stance once more.

"Lucrecia, with all due respect," Cloud said, "that's not something you get _past _so easily."

"I don't care! He's my son and I'm not about to let you hurt him! Tifa will tell you that he's changed!"

"_Tifa?_" Cloud's eyes grew wide, "Tifa knows about this?"

"Yes, she does! And she can testify that his behavior has been nothing but golden!"

"Mr. Roth is nice," Marlene nodded, "he tells me stories and I'm teaching him to sing and he helps Auntie Yuffie get around and..."

"Tells you stories?" Reeve blinked, "What kind of stories?"

"My favorite's about a shiny gold beetle!"

The men forgot their animosity for a moment and stared at Sephiroth, "A shiny gold beetle?" Vincent said.

"Uh-huh! And he married an emerald beetle, and they had lots and lots of babies!"

_"Why me?"_ thought Sephiroth, _"Why me?"_

After digesting this information, the men resumed their guarded positions.

"What are we going to do with him, then?" Reeve asked.

"We can't have him stay here!" Cid said.

Lucrecia put a hand on her hip, keeping the other on her broomstick, and said, "And why not?"

"He's...He's a wacko!"

"I told you, he's past all of that! Jenova is dead, and he is free!"

"He really is a nice guy..." Yuffie whimpered.

Cloud held up his arms (for the umpteenth time that hour) and said, "All right, I'm sure we can discuss this like rational gentlemen."

"So far, in my humble opinion," Yuffie said, "Sephiroth's the only one who's been slightly rational this whole time, you bunch of loonies..."


	10. Women Always Win

**Disclaimer: **Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII nor the characters therein, and she is not making any money off of this.

Chapter 10- Women Always Win...

Shera Highwind had told her husband and his friends that she wanted to have a look around the stores first, and that they should head home without her. Cid at first had been reluctant, because they had heard rumors (however unlikely) that Sephiroth was alive and wreaking havoc in this area. But so far, the people they talked to in Kalm had no notion of any disturbance.

In the long run, you could say that it was probably a good thing that no one in the AVALANCHE group visited Mr. Border in the candy store, or Dr. Kerring, or they may have gotten clues enough to cause them to panic.

When Tifa was walking out of the grocery store and saw Shera walking towards her, she gasped and dropped her bags. There was nothing breakable; or if there were, nothing broke, fortunately. Shera went to her friend, greeting her.

"Tifa!" Shera took Tifa's hands and kissed on the cheek, "I'm so glad to see you! Cloud and Barret told us all about the baby. Here, let me help you with that..." She bent down to pick up the fallen groceries.

"Cloud...Barret...Are they here?" Tifa was trembling.

"Of course! They're probably at the house by now. Of course, Cid is here too, and Reeve, and Vincent..."

"Reeve and Vincent too?"

"Why, yes."

"Oh, dear...Oh, dear..." Tifa started to shake.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Shera asked, concerned.

"I'll explain on the way!" Tifa grabbed Shera's arm and pulled her along. Shera, being the extremely patient person that she is, only objected to save the groceries, and listened readily to what Tifa had to say.

She almost couldn't believe her ears as Tifa tried to explain that Sephiroth, the man who was supposed to be the "bad guy" was now a "good guy" and that he had been living in Cloud Strife's house for ten days now ever since he rescued Yuffie Kisaragi from four men who attacked her; one of them had been from SOLDIER.

"Wait a minute!" Shera interrupted at this point.

"What?"

"You said four men, and one of them was from SOLDIER? Were they seem injured in any way or at all disposed to drinking?"

"Yes! Did you see them?"

"Why, the dirty..."

"What did they say?"

"Cid and I were in Costa Del Sol and we saw these men and they were staggering drunk. We thought they were babbling nonsense. They said that they were attacked by Sephiroth, and two of them had huge gashes on their bodies, like Sephiroth would make with his sword. We called Cloud and picked them up in Nibelheim and came here. But the way things were when we got here, we thought they were just a bunch of drunks who got themselves hurt. Oh, did they hurt Yuffie very badly?"

"Badly?" Tifa huffed as she and Shera had almost reached the house, "Poor Yuffie! They gave her a concussion, bruises, a black eye, a busted lip, and _four bruised ribs_!"

"Oh, my goodness!"

"She can't even walk without someone carrying her. She's in pain constantly, and can barely move or laugh."

"Oh!"

"If Sephiroth hadn't have rescued her, then those men would have raped her andbeat her until she was nothing but a bleeding corpse!"

"Tifa, we can't let them hurt Sephiroth! We just can't!"

"Thank you!"

This is why, about a moment after Yuffie called Cloud and his buddies a bunch of loonies, Tifa and Shera burst into the house, shouting,

_"Don't kill him!"_

All the men looked at her with a trace of disgust on their faces. Cid, sitting on a chair and rubbing his pained foot, said,

"I think we've already established that we're not supposed to do that..."

"Tifa, thank goodness, you're here!" Lucrecia said. She was standing protectively in front of Sephiroth, holding up the broomstick. Marlene was now standing by Yuffie's side. When Tifa and Shera caught sight of this, and the other five men holding onto their heads, groaning, they had a vague impression of what had occurred here.

"Am I to understand..." Tifa said, "that Lucrecia managed to fight all of you off with a broomstick?"

"Tifa! You don't know!" Cid exclaimed, whimpering strangely, "She's a maniac, comin' after us like a -_bleep_, I mean, _danged_ psycho!" Cid had quickly corrected his language use after receiving a look from both Shera and Lucrecia.

"Tifa," Cloud staggered (as one recalls, he had been hit the most) towards his wife, "are you all right? How's the baby?"

"I'm perfectly fine, Cloud," Tifa said, with her hands on her hips, "that is, I was until I find out that you and the others were planning to murder our houseguest."

"Houseguest!" Barret whined. He pointed (his good arm, mind you) at Sephiroth, "you call that a houseguest?"

"He's a guest, and in our house. That constitutes _houseguest_!" Tifa answered.

"Tifa," Cloud probably would've fallen to the floor in a faint if he hadn't thought it would be an unmanly thing to do at that moment, "what possessed you to take in Sephiroth, _Sephiroth_, as a houseguest?"

"Because he saved Yuffie's life! Haven't any of you noticed how badly she's beaten up?"

"She has a concussion," Shera said, after placing the groceries down on the couch, "bruises, a black eye, a busted lip, and _four bruised ribs_!" She turned to Cid, "It was those men in Costa Del Sol, the ones who claimed that Sephiroth attacked them. Well, that's why! They were molesting Yuffie, and he saved her! He's a hero!"

"How did they know it was me?" Sephiroth spoke for the first time in quite a few minutes.

Cloud said, "_You_ be quiet."

The man with the most brains in that room (though maybe not the most sense), which was Reeve, spoke up,

"Wait a minute...Of course! Sephiroth, you remember the SOLDIER training facility, right?"

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, "Do I know you?"

"I had just gotten promoted when you left on that mission. But we've met! I was an assistant to Carstlon, the head of Building and Architecture."

Sephiroth thought for a moment, "I _do_ remember you...I know your name. Uh, Reeve? Something like that?"

"Yeah, you got it! Anyway, what I was saying was that that guy was in SOLDIER, according to Cid and Shera, and in the SOLDIER training facility, they had that huge painting of you, with your sword and armor. Remember?"

Sephiroth's eyes widened with irritation, "You mean to tell me that they didn't take down that picture? I _hated_ that picture! That picture was hanging there for six years? Argh! Did anybody in that stupid building listen to me? Did they disregard my orders that much?"

"Gee, _I_ thought it was a good picture," Reeve said, "they probably decided to leave it up there in honor of your memory, since everyone thought you died and all."

"_That's_ how they honor your memory? Putting up the most confounded picture ever painted of you?"

"_Anyway_," Reeve moved to get back on the subject, "that SOLDIER would have seen the picture everyday when training..."

"Everyday..." Sephiroth groaned, "they saw the picture _everyday_..."

"Sephiroth," Yuffie said, sounding not a little frustrated, "put aside your macho, male ego for a couple of seconds and let Reeve talk!"

When Sephiroth said nothing, Reeve continued, "So obviously, he would be able to recognize you, no matter how improbable the thought might be. Let's face it. There aren't that many tall guys with silver hair and green Mako eyes and Masamunes walking around here. Am I right, or am I right? Right? Guys?"

What Reeve had not noticed since he was in the throes of an analytical explanation (one of the things he loved best) was that everyone was now staring at Yuffie and Sephiroth with very strange looks on their faces. At first, Reeve didn't know what was the matter.

What everyone thought to be so odd was the fact that Yuffie had chastised Sephiroth, to his face, and he had not said a word in response. Cloud remembered a time when if someone had spoken that way to General Sephiroth, he would be doing fifty pushups and twenty squat-thrusts, in succession. Yet this frail young woman had talked him down, while lying on a couch injured.

"Well," Cloud broke the silence, "there's still a question of what is to be done with him."

"What do you mean by that?" Tifa asked.

"Tifa, you know exactly what I mean by that! Having the murderer of our families in our house?"

"He was insane and _you know it_! You know it better than anyone!"

"He could go insane again; hasn't that occurred to you?"

Tifa decided right then and there to use her one and only trump card. Lucrecia had mentioned it a few days earlier, that not even the cool Hojo had ever been able to resist the tears of a fragile, pregnant woman. Tifa was well nigh to working up a few tears at this moment, so she decided to take the opportunity.

"How could you be so unfeeling?" Tifa sobbed, tears welling up and nose sniffling, "All he wants is forgiveness, and you're being terrible and cruel!"

"Now, Tifa," Cloud softened a bit, "I'm only thinking of your safety..."

"Jenova's been destroyed, and she's the one that drove him crazy in the first place. He's been nothing but a gentleman since he's come here." She shook with a couple of sobs, and now all the men (even Sephiroth) were starting to look extremely pathetic. She continued, "He's been so nice and helpful and he even had the guts to ask me for forgiveness. Me! I have as much reason to hate him as you, and he knows it, and yet he asked me to forgive him. Now, any man who can do that sincerely (which I know he was) deserves a _chance_!" And she broke out into another series of sobs.

"Tifa, Tifa, don't cry. _Please_ don't cry. I can't stand it when you cry..."

That only caused Tifa to sob louder.

"Okay, okay! If it means that much to you, then...I guess...we could...try..."

"Thank you!" Tifa hugged Cloud's neck, "Yes, it means so much to me. And it means a lot to Lucrecia too! Thank you!"

It would also mean a lot to Yuffie, but Tifa didn't mention that. She didn't really have to.

The other men grudgingly agreed.


	11. Chit Chat

(enter Kit Thespian and Sephiroth)

Kit Thespian: Hello, fellow readers, today we're...

(Cait Sith enters)

Cait Sith: Hey, Kit Thespian. Hey!

Sephiroth: Great, it's the cat...

Kit Thespian: Um...What do you want, Cait Sith? I'm trying to do a Disclaimer here...

Cait Sith: But don't you want your fortune read?

Kit Thespian: Oh, boy...Cait Sith, you're adorable. I could give you a hug right now, but I'm kinda busy...

Cait Sith: Just one! Please!

Kit Thespian (sighs): All right. Fortune away!

(Cait Sith does his little dance thing and the moogle then hands Kit Thespian a card)

Kit Thespian: Let's see... "Beware the evil grasshoppers. Your lucky color is fuschia."

Sephiroth (laughs): What kind of a stupid fortune is that?

Cait Sith: I have one for you too, Sephiroth. (hands out a card)

Sephiroth (mildly curious): Really? What is it? (takes card and reads) "An unholy terror is headed in your direction. Haste is needed." ...Unholy terror?

(A group of fangirls walk in)

Random fangirl: Eek! There he is!

Random fangirl #2: Sephy! Sephy!

Sephiroth (running away): MOOOOMMMMYYYY!

(As soon as the dust clears, Kit Thespian and Cait Sith are still standing alone onstage.)

Cait Sith (shrugs): Ah well, (to audience)Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making any money off of this.

Chapter Eleven- Chit-Chat

If silence were a tangible thing, everyone in the living room would have been asphyxiated from the mass quantities of it at this moment. Tifa was in the kitchen, trying to reason with Cloud and Barret and cook a meal at the same time. There were, in case it hasn't already been said, two couches in the living room. Sephiroth was sitting on the floor in front of the couch that Yuffie was lying on. Lucrecia had gently settled into the remaining space on the sofa.

On the other couch sat Cid, Shera (with Marlene on her lap), and Reeve. Vincent was standing in a corner (as usual) behind Lucrecia. Marlene was playing with a new stuffed animal, a cat (ironically), that Reeve had brought as a present for her.

Cid, Shera, Vincent, and Reeve were all staring at Sephiroth. Yuffie's eyes were closed, though it was obvious she wasn't asleep. Lucrecia was watching everyone else, broomstick still in hand, to make sure that no one made any rash movements.

Sephiroth was making assessments of all those around him. The one named Cid seemed to one of those stereotypical pilots who swore a lot, had a little stubble on their faces, smoked, and spoke with a thick drawl. He stared at Sephiroth like one would stare at an invading insect.

Now, Shera was more civil. With her cute dress, glasses, and endearing manner, she seemly an unlikely mate for the pilot. Strangely enough, she was the only one of the group who had never personally met Sephiroth before, and therefore had a good deal of pity on him she may not have had otherwise.

Reeve was looking at Sephiroth with fascination. The former General was, instead of burning with insanity, like his old self: calm, collected, but sad in a way. Sephiroth could recall young Reeve, wild with anticipation at moving up the ranks of the Shinra executive committee. He hadn't been power-hungry, like the rest of them, but excited because new opportunities to work his crafts would be presented.

_"I love building and engineering more than anything!"_ Reeve had exclaimed to Sephiroth, about nine years prior to this, _"It's better than...better than **food**!"_

_"Is that why you were so thin?"_ Sephiroth thought now, looking at the bearded man on the sofa, _"You're still a beanpole."_

They had spoken a good deal during their time at Shinra. In fact, Sephiroth mused, if time had allowed, they might have become very good (even best) friends.

...It was still very silent.

What Cloud, Tifa, and Barret were discussing was what the sleeping arrangements would be. Having enough room wasn't the problem, considering that they were living in a big house (that they had gotten at a good price because of the relative-less previous owner's sudden death from choking on a chicken bone) with a basement. Not as big as the Nibelheim mansion, but big enough to house all the members of AVALANCE, which was probably the reason they had gotten it in the first place.

In a few moments, the three walked into the living room (Tifa had put the food in the oven and set the timer). Cloud said,

"Okay, here's the lowdown: Tifa and I will stay in our room, Cid and Shera will have the double bed in the basement, and Barret stays in his own room. Yuffie remains in her room, obviously. Marlene has a double bed, so Lucrecia can bunk with her. Coincidentally..." Cloud's eyes roved around the room at the three remaining men, "the bedroom upstairs has four twin beds. You three can take those."

There was a pause as Sephiroth, Vincent, and Reeve all looked at each other with a small trace of apprehension.

Reeve spoke up, "Aw, what're you two worried about? It'll be just like college, except no annoying RAs."

This constituted two very befuddled looks from the ex-general and ex-Turk.

However monotonous it sounds, more silence followed.

It was broken only by Shera suggesting, "Who wants to play Mafia?"

_Later that night..._

Reeve got the next closest bedto the door, and Sephiroth got the bed furthest. Vincent, without a word, took off his cape, settled into the sheets of the third bed, and went to sleep. Reeve honestly didn't know how he did it. The dude scared him sometimes. It seemed, well, that Vincent was a little not-right in the head.

And lying in the fourth bed, staring at the ceiling with his Mako-green eyes, was the king of craziness. At least, that's how it seemed in the past. Reeve couldn't find anything wrong with Sephiroth now. He knew Sephiroth better than Cloud did in the past.

It took about an hour average for Reeve to go to sleep, because it took about that long for his mind to wind down and relax. He always thought too much. Maybe Sephiroth had the same problem.

"Can't sleep?" he softly asked.

Sephiroth turned his head towards Reeve and answered, "Not really."

"Sephiroth...Have you really turned over a new leaf?"

"I should like to think so, yes."

"What do you mean?"

"The only way I can be completely changed is to receive the goodwill of the others as well, I think. Without that...You understand."

"Kind of...Well...You want to chat?"

"...Chat?"

"You know, just talk about random stuff. Like we used to."

"Like what?"

"I don't know...Do you like anyone?" _What kind of a stupid question is that, Reeve?_

But Sephiorth didn't seem to mind. He just had a very odd look on his face, "Like...anyone..."

"Have you ever had a crush?"

"Not really."

Sephiroth was slowly slipping back in time to the time where he felt very comfortable speaking around Reeve, almost like the two were buddies. Reeve was very comfortable to talk to.

"Sephiroth..." Reeve's voice took on a sudden tone of nervousness, and he was about to prove that he was not the most sensible person in the world, "since we're rooming and all, I need to know something. Were those rumors...true?"

"...What rumors?"

"That you're, um...uh..."

"What?"

"...Gay."

So much for comfort. Sephiroth had to use every ounce of control not to scream _"What!"_ at the top of his lungs. He managed to keep it at a sharp whisper.

"_What!_"

"Well," Reeve was oblivious to the danger he was putting himself in, apparently, "you never got near any of the girls and you sometimes shied away from them. Some of the guys started assuming that you were a little 'fairy'."

"I am not homosexual, and I have never entertained any sort of homosexual thoughts. There's a _reason_ for..." Sephiroth stopped as he realized that he was about to give away his most embarrassing secret.

"Whew...that's nice to know," Reeve sighed with relief, "So, what's with the shying? You just don't like the idea of sex in general?"

"I never said that."

"But I saw you back then. You literally ran out of the movie theater when the couple in the film started doing a kissing scene."

"...You mean you _saw_ me?"

"It's hard to miss the big guy in the black cloak. It got a lot of people talking."

"Well, I'm not gay. We've established that."

"It wasn't even a real sex scene. What's so scary about a couple kissing?"

Normally, Sephiroth wouldn't have gone this far into the conversation and he would have told Reeve to shut up a long time before this, but he didn't want the skinny engineer going around believing that he had unorthodox sexual preferences. It was unheard of. It was about time that this conversation ended, though. He wasn't quite ready to reveal his reasons for celibacy.

"Good night, Reeve," he said.

"If you're that creeped out about a little kiss, maybe you should get out more. Just a suggestion."

"Good night, Reeve."

"You like waffles, Sephiroth? I was thinking 'bout making some waffles in the morning."

Sephiroth threw Reeve his classic glare of doom, "_Good night, Reeve_."

Reeve shrank back into his pillow and blankets, "...Good night."


	12. Don't You Just Love Those Waffles?

(Red XIII enters)

Red XIII: Kit Thespian? Are you here? (turns around to others) She isn't here.

(Enter Sephiroth and Yuffie)

Red XIII: Now, why did you send _me_ in?

Sephiroth: She wouldn't torture you, Red. She respects you too much.

Yuffie: So...now what're we gonna do? (she doesn't notice Cloud enter the stage, sneaking up behind her and Sephiroth with the Ultima Weapon and a very maniacal look on his face) If she's not here, there's no story.

Sephiroth: Suppose we could tell it ourselves.

Yuffie: That's a cool idea! Hey, let's write a scene where it's revealed that the real reason that you've been resurrected is...(sees Cloud as he is almost upon her with the Ultima Weapon) PSYCHO CLOUD! (jumps out of the way)

Sephiroth: The real reason I've been resurrected is Psycho Cloud? (sees Cloud chasing Yuffie around in a circle) OH!

Red XIII: Cloud? What is the meaning of this? Stop this madness!

Cloud: KILL NINJA! KILL! KILL!

Sephiroth: Cloud! (starts chasing Cloud, who is still chasing Yuffie) You can't be an insane psycho! That's _my_ job! Put down the sword!

(Soon the three are running in a circle around Red XIII, who, as a result, was starting to get dizzy. This was how Kit Thespian found them when she entered the stage)

Kit Thespian: What in the samhill...? (snaps her fingers, and Cloud, Sephiroth, and Yuffie get strange looks on their faces. Then they skip to each other and form a group hug)

Cloud, Sephiroth, and Yuffie (singing): _I love you, you love me. We're a great big family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too?_

(Kit Thespian goes up behind Cloud and knocks him on the head, rendering him unconscious, then she snaps her fingers again. Sephiroth and Yuffie return to normal.)

Sephiroth: What did we just do?

Yuffie: I have no idea.

Red XIII: I don't think you _want_ to know. (turns to audience) Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making money off of this.

Chapter Twelve- Don't You Just Love Those Waffles?

Reeve got up before everyone else and starting making waffles. Since he was alone, he had time to muse.

_"Well," _he thought, _"I lived through the night, so Sephiroth wasn't mad at me for thinking he was gay. But hey, what were we supposed to think, with the way he acted around girls. Hey...what if Hojo threatened him with something horrible if Sephiroth ever messed around? Eesh...Just thinking about that guy gives me shudders. I mean, Sephiroth is spooky to the extreme and Vincent's missing a few buttons, but Dr. Hojo was scary beyond any form of reason... How long does it take for this thing to heat up, anyhow?"_ Reeve was waiting for the waffle-maker to get hot enough for him to pour the batter in.

He looked around the kitchen, _"Cloud and Tifa got a nice place here. I should visit more often. I wonder what's going to happen to Sephiroth. Wouldn't seem right to leave him here with all the women, but it would seem odd if he went with them to hunt monsters. Maybe he could come with me to Gonganga Village? We'll see..."_

"What are you doing up so early?" Lucrecia walked into the kitchen.

"It should be obvious. I'm making waffles." Then Reeve gasped and covered his mouth. He had just uttered (what the Shinra people had dubbed) a "Hojo-ism."

"Are you okay?" Lucrecia asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Say..." Reeve poured some batter into the waffle-maker and closed the lid, "You seem like a nice lady, without the broomstick." Lucrecia laughed, and Reeve went on, "I just want to ask you something, and don't get mad."

"I'll try."

"Do you think Sephiroth's changed for good? I mean, he _seems_ like it, but..."

"But you think you can't be certain, is that it?"

"...Yes."

"I think he has, yes."

"Well, if you're sure, than I suppose I can try to be sure. Vincent thinks very highly of you..."

"Oh, yes. Vincent..." Lucrecia sighed and sat down at the table.

"Did you two really have thing going on?"

Lucrecia smirked, "We dated in high school. He would have wanted it to turn into something more, but I broke it off before I went to college. I told him that it wouldn't last, but...Vincent is one of those who has a hard time letting go. Now, I love him like I would love a brother, but I don't think he's quite got a grip on it."

"Geez..." Reeve took the waffle out of the cooker and put it on a plate, "You want this?"

"Oh, no thanks."

"You know you want it. It's calling your name," Reeve took a fork, stuck it in the waffle, and made a motion like the waffle were a mouth, "_Lucrecia, Lucrecia, you want me, with lots of butter and syrup..._"

Lucrecia buried her face in her arms to stifle her laughter, "All right! Tell me you didn't do stuff like this to Sephiroth and Vincent last night."

"Well, Sephiroth and I chatted a little."

"Chatted?" Lucrecia raised an eyebrow as she went to the cabinet to retrieve the syrup.

"Yeah, like old times, kind of. We used to talk a lot. Say, how did a nice lady like you end up married to someone like Professor Hojo? Uh...You _were_ married to him, right?"

"Yes, I was."

"Oh, whew!" Reeve poured more batter into the waffle-maker, "Thought I was going to have to stick my foot in my mouth again."

"Again?"

"Long story."

Before Lucrecia could say anything else, Sephiroth walked into the kitchen, followed by Vincent. Vincent wasn't wearing his cloak, so his long, black hair was free down his back. Without a word, they both sat down at the table. A silence followed, and Reeve broke it by saying,

"Hey, Sephiroth, want a waffle?"

"No," came the General's reply.

"Vincent?"

Vincentnodded. He got up from the table and stood behind Reeve in his usual omnious manner until the waffle was ready. Reeve resisted the urge to shudder. What was it about this guy? He had always found _something_ strange and familiar about him and he couldn't put his finger on it.

Sephiroth got his breakfast: cereal, toast, and milk. He sat next to his mother, across from Vincent. After a few moments, he started to stare at Vincent. Vincent pretended not to notice.

You see, Sephiroth hadn't lived around Vincent for very long, and therefore did not know what was the "right" thing and "wrong" thing to say. He said something at this moment that Reeve would have dubbed the "wrong" thing.

"You remind me of someone," Sephiroth spoke.

"...Who?" Vincent asked, his tone of voice suggesting that perhaps he already knew what Sephiroth was going to say.

"It's going to sound very strange, but you remind me a little of Hojo."

Reeve's jaw dropped. _He did **not** just say that! Vincent's gonna kill him!_ Of course, Sephiroth had lived his life not being afraid to say whatever he wanted to anyone. Tact was hardly on his list of fine qualities.

Vincent sat in silence for a moment, staring Sephiroth in the eye. Then he said, "What makes you say that?"

"Just...you have that sort of drawn-in look."

"Anything else?"

"Just small things."

"...People always said that we had more in common than I would have cared to think. It hardly matters now..."

"...You hiding something, Vincent?" Reeve said.

"I think they're _both_ hiding something," Sephiroth looked back and forth between his mother and Vincent. Lucrecia remained silent, and she looked at Vincent, as if to ask if it were all right for everyone to know now.

Apparently it was, or it simply did not make any difference to him now. Vincent took a sip of water and said, "He was my brother."

_Clang!_

"Sorry 'bout that..." Reeve nervously picked up the spatula he dropped, "But...um...did you just say that Hojo was your...?"

"Brother." Vincent bit off another dry piece of his waffle, "half-brother, actually." Then he said nothing.

Sephiroth was utterly shocked. He scrutinized Vincent even more, then slowly took a bite of his cereal, not caring that it was a little soggy. Then, rather unconsciously, he dipped his toast in his cereal and ate it. While rapidly mixing more batter, Reeve was trying to decide whether he should comment on that strange eating habit or the incredible bit of information he just heard. He chose the latter.

"But that means that..." Reeve indicated Sephiroth, "you're his...his..."

"Mornin', y'all..." Cid shuffled into the kitchen, looking half-awake, "what's for breakfast?"

"W-Waffles..." stuttered Reeve, pouring more batter.

"Hey, what's wrong with y'all? Look like you've seen a ghost," Cid surveyed the amazed expressions on everyone's faces.

"A rat." Reeve said.

"A rat?" Though Cid would never admit it to anyone, save Shera, he had a small phobia of rats. His eyes darted about the room, "Where?"

"It's gone now. Been gone for thirty minutes."

"Thirty minutes?" Cid raised an eyebrow.

"It was a big rat."

"Must've been."

"Want a waffle?"

"Sure."

Barret, Shera, Cloud, and Tifa came to the kitchen to get something to eat. The men were still so wary of Sephiroth that they didn't even think to ask why apparently he and Vincent had initiated a staring contest. The two said nothing the entire time. The only time they paused from this strange act of staring was to take bites of their breakfast.

The thing that eventually took Sephiroth's attention away from Vincent was Cloud getting a waffle and sitting beside him. He thought this extremely odd, considering Cloud's behavior to him the previous day.

What he didn't know was that Tifa had taken Cloud aside before he had the chance to leave their bedroom that morning and threatened, _"You'd better be nice to Sephiroth or so help me..."_ And one of the cardinal rules of married life was never argue with your pregnant wife. The result was Cloud sitting in the other chair beside Sephiroth.

Cloud bit his tongue in exasperation, and finally brought himself to say (not doing a good job keeping the irritation out of his voice), "Did you have a nice sleep?"

"Yes."

"Reeve didn't pester you, did he?"

"...Not too much."

"He can be a pain sometimes..."

"Hey!" Reeve turned momentarily away from his cooking to show Cloud an angry eyebrow.

"Good morning, Mr. Roth!" Marlene ran into the kitchen, straight to her "best friend." Barret's jaw dropped, and he said,

"Uh...Mornin', Marlene..."

"Papa!" Marlene ran to her father's waiting arms, "Good morning, Papa!"

Everyone else in the room was trying to find a way to weasle the situation out of the fact that Marlene had run to Sephiroth first, either completely ignoring or not noticing her Papa was in the room.

"...I'm done," Sephiroth spoke, rising from his chair.

"Me as well," said Vincent.

The two left the kitchen without a word. Lucrecia thought about following them, but then thought better of it. If Sephiroth was going to ask Vincent any questions, it would be best if it were just the two of them. She got up to take Yuffie her breakfast and give her medicine.

Reeve just hoped that Vincent wouldn't go "Chaos" on Sephiroth, or that Sephiroth wouldn't go "One-Winged Angel" on Vincent...or both.

Everyone else was fairly clueless as to what had really been going on. They thought that Sephiroth couldn't get into too much trouble if Vincent was with him. At least, everyone except Reeve and Lucrecia (for obvious reasons) and Cloud, because there was something about that Vincent that he could never quite pinpoint.

The rest sat down and enjoyed their waffles.


	13. Much Ado About Brothers

(Kit Thespian enters the stage, followed by several FFVII characters)

Kit Thespian: Now, who'll do the Disclaimer?

Reeve (raises his hand): I'll do it!

Kit Thespian: ...Does anyone _else_ want to do it?

Sephiroth: Nope.

Cloud: Uh-uh.

Reeve: Pick me!

Kit Thespian: Tifa? Aeris? Yuffie?

Tifa: Sorry.

Aeris: No thanks.

Yuffie: I already did it.

Reeve: Me! Me!

Kit Thespian: Are Hojo or Vincent around?

(Reeve starts jumping up and down)

Reeve: Pick me! Me! Me! Me! Meeeeee!

Kit Thespian (sighs): All right, _fine_. Go ahead, Reeve.

Reeve (grinning very big): Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein, and she is not making money off of this.

_Author's notes and replies: One review that I wish to reply to in particular was that of Sorceress Eiva. How **did** I come up with the whole Vincent-Hojo half-brother relationship? Well, it was a couple of small things, really. What first propelled me to that sort of weird conjecture was the fact that they both had long black hair. Now, that's not much to go on, but then I saw the picture of Vincent in Advent Children. He looked thin-faced and drawn in, kind of like Hojo. Then I thought how people are so ready to think that Vincent is Sephiroth's father (I guess it's because they're both tall with long hair), so that got me to thinking...what if he were related to Sephiroth, but in a different way? Then I thought, hey, what if somehow, Vincent and Hojo were related? What if they were **brothers**? Or, better yet, half-brothers? That would cause more reason for a rift, especially in the situation I put them in._

_In history and literature, some of the worst fights were between siblings, probably because they can see so much more of each other's faults. Then another question popped into my head: Why didn't Hojo kill Vincent? If Vincent was going to ruin everything, then why didn't he just bump him off? Why did he even bother with the whole "scientific alteration" thing? If Vincent was just some joe who was messing up Hojo's plans, it would have made more sense to just get rid of him, permanently. What if Hojo had some other reasons to despise Vincent and thus inflict horrid torture on him? My mind started going: "**That's** interesting...Hey, **this** could work...What if...? What if...?" And the rest is history._

_I'm amazed that most of the reviews that I got for the last chapter referred not to the strange relationship but to the waffles. I'm glad y'all like waffles, because I got kind of sick of them simply by writing that last chapter. But hey, waffles are nice, especially with lots of butter and syrup. (snicker) _

_The rest of the whole relationship should be sufficiently explained as the story goes on. I'm also writing a take on Hojo called "Human Monster." Check it out if you're interested._

_And, Lone Gunmen, faithful fan fiction friend, if this starts a new trend, I'll be very much surprised, but a little delighted as well. Cid's phobia of rats will have consequences eventually._

_One more thing, Vincent and Lucrecia's point of view on the past events aren't all the things that really happened, since neither one of them ever knew the **entire** truth._

Chapter Thirteen- Much Ado About Brothers

"Yuffie?" Lucrecia walked into the ninja's bedroom, "Are you awake?"

"Yep..." Yuffie muttered, without moving, "Is everything okay this morning?"

"Yes."

"Nobody at each other's throats?"

"No."

Lucrecia debated in her mind whether or not she should tell Yuffie what Vincent had revealed to Reeve and Sephiroth. She set Yuffie's waffle on the nightstand and gave Yuffie her medicine. Yuffie made a face.

"Geez," she said, "you'd figure I would've acquired a taste for that stuff by now. How's Sephiroth?"

"He's fine."

"Where is he?"

"He's talking with Vincent upstairs."

"Oh, boy...that ought to be interesting."

"You have no idea."

"...You think he's going to be done anytime soon? I'd like to go into the living room."

"He really needs to talk to Vincent. Why don't I go get Cloud or Barret?"

"Well, I kind of...Never mind."

"Kind of what?" Lucrecia smirked.

"Nothing," Yuffie then noticed the Lucrecia's expression, "and you can wipe that look off your face. What're he and Vincent talking about?"

"Just a few personal issues."

"What can Vincent possibly talk to Sephiroth about that could be personal to both of them? Lethal weaponry?"

Lucrecia laughed, "Uh, no. It involves...Well..." she sighed and looked a little more serious, "I suppose it couldn't hurt to tell you. You'll probably find out soon enough."

"Tell me what?"

_In the upstairs bedroom..._

"I never knew Hojo until I began working for Shinra," Vincent said, "But we knew _about_ each other most of our lives previously. When I was a teenager my father finally had the courage to tell me about him. You see, my father had an affair with Hojo's mother, a girl of seventeen who belonged to an upstanding family, when he was married to my mother. The situation was extremely awkward, considering that Hojo was only about three months older than me. My mother would not have Hojo in our household, even though his mother died when he was born and his grandparents showed little affection above toleration towards him, apparently.

"Our father died when we were twenty, so Hojo never met him. When I met Hojo for the first time, I was a Turk and he was already married to Lucrecia. We tried to get along, but he never liked me, and I never liked him either. We would argue a good deal, mostly about trivial things, except...except when it came to your mother."

Sephiroth looked grim, "She mentioned something about you having a thing for her once."

Vincent didn't crack any emotions, but he averted his eyes downwards, "I worshipped her. I admit that my behavior towards her was less than honorable. Forgive me. I tried to convince her at one point to run away with me. She said no, and she must have told Hojo, because he came to me not long after that, threatening me."

"Let me guess," Sephiroth said, "something like, _'Touch her and I'll kill you.'_"

"Sephiroth, you should know that with Hojo it was never as simple as that. I believe his words were,_ 'If I ever hear of you making advancements on my wife again or even see you cast a lustful eye on her, I will torture you so unimaginably you won't even be considered a human being after I'm through with you_.'" Vincent shrugged and said, "I suppose I should have taken him at his word."

"...Whatdid he do?" _He obviously halted your aging process, for one..._

"I really don't wish to discuss it."

"So, you tried to get Mother to run away with you again?"

"Actually, no. Dr. Gast sent your mother away shortly after you were born, because she demanded to see you. I was in Midgar at the time. I came to hear about it and I went to Nibelheim and confronted Hojo. I ranted at him, but he said nothing. But he obviously didn't want to hear what I had to say, because he pulled at his hair in anger and then took out a revolver and shot me in the chest. To this day I don't know if he had intended to kill me and failed, or if he wanted to experiment on me all along."

Sephiroth listened to and watched his uncle with fascination and a little horror. The smooth, cool way that Vincent explained his sordid past reminded Sephiroth of Hojo giving an explanation of Mako infusions. Both men hardly showed any emotion, changed the pitch or tenor of their voices, or moved a muscle save a slight cocking of the head every now and then. Sephiroth wondered if their laughs were similar, if Vincent ever laughed.

"I found something in Nibelheim after the destruction of Meteor," Vincent continued, "underneath in the bedding in my coffin."

"Your...coffin?" Sephiroth raised an eyebrow.

"The coffin that Hojo placed me in after the alteration. He induced me into suspended animation and I slept there for thirty-five years. I went back there and found a document and a video tape. The paper was a copy of your guardianship certificate. You see, Lucrecia and I have always thought that your father signed over guardianship rights to you over to Shinra Inc., but the document I found held Dr. Gast's signature."

"Why would Dr. Gast have the right to sign my guardianship over to Shinra when Hojo was my father?"

"I don't know."

"What was on the video tape?"

"...A recording of one of Gast and Hojo's experiments; nothing very important. It was in the basement in the Nibelheim mansion. You were still a newborn at this time and in your cradle in the back room of the basement. I could hear you crying during the commotion to follow. The experiment was interrupted by Lucrecia coming in, demanding to see Sephiroth. It was apparently not very long after your birth, because she didn't walk very steadily and her face was still pale. In short, no matter how much she pleaded with Gast, he wouldn't let her see you. Eventually, Hojo started to gently take her out of the room, trying to reason with her. She resigned, but cried bitterly. Gast watched them go, and had a rather depressed look on his face. The tape was forgotten and it ran out after a few minutes. Apparently Hojo found it later."

"...Why do you think he put that in the coffin?"

"If I knew that, I would probably know everything. You're the first person I've said anything to about this. I didn't see much use in telling the others."

"Why did Hojo take part in this, if he didn't willingly give me over in the first place?"

"I wish I knew that as well. For a man who professed love for someone so much, you'd think he would have let her see you. I don't know...Something about the whole business is clandestine."

"Maybe he was trying to give us a clue to something, in case someone came and woke you up."

"Maybe...Whatever the case, I want to know what twisted him. Inasmuch I hate to admit it, when I first knew him, he was not the souless monster I killed just a year ago. Merely disturbed, or exceedingly eccentric. I know why he despised me;jealousy and life-long resentment, but I have never understood why he did the things he did afterwards."

"What do you mean?"

"The experiments, the dirty work, killing Dr. Gast..."

Sephiroth's eyes widened, "He _killed_ Dr. Gast?"

"Yes. Didn't you know that?"

"No!"

"Oh...Well, he did."

"...Is there anything that my father did _not_ do?"

"When I think of something, I'll tell you."

_In Yuffie's bedroom..._

"O...mi...gosh." Yuffie was utterly shocked as she slowly chewed on her waffle and listened to Lucrecia's explanation, "No way."

"Yes, it's true," Lucrecia said.

"Why didn't Vincent ever say anything? Why didn't Hojo say anything when we confronted him? I remember that they acted strangely towards each other, but I thought that was because of their history together."

"Vincent was probably too ashamed to admit it, and it sounds like Hojo just didn't care at that point."

"That's just freaky! Vincent is Sephiroth's uncle!"

"Vincent and Hojo never got along. In fact, they would bicker a lot."

"Bicker? About what?"

"...Don't tell Vincent I told you. You did _not_ hear it from me."

"I got it."

"Their arguements were usually over _nothing_. And it would always end up being back and forth tongue-lashing."

"Back and forth? You mean, stuff like, _"Did not!" "Did too!" "Did not!" "Did too!"_?"

"Sometimes. Most of the time it was more sophisticated name-calling. Their favorites were 'deranged jackass' and 'pompous neanderthal'."

"Which was which?"

"Hojo was the 'deranged jackass' and Vincent was the 'pompous neanderthal'. Though it was sometimes interchangeable. Sometimes they would pick shorter words, like 'stupid mad scientist!' and 'trigger-happy dolt!' They would even scuffle."

"Scuffle? Who won?" Yuffie tried not to hurt her sides laughing at the image.

"It depended on what the arguement was about. It was the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. Hojo had never lost his temper until he met Vincent. I suppose siblings have that effect on each other."

"I just can't believe that Hojo and Vincent would act like a couple of three-year-olds."

"Believe it. I would often get a cup of water and throw it on them, telling them to act like civil human beings. Then they would tell me to stay out of it and continue scuffling."

"They sound perfectly loving," Yuffie sarcastically remarked.

"Perfectly," Lucrecia chuckled, "Looking back, I wish it would have stayed that way. But Vincent obviously liked me and Hojo was horridly jealous. Eventually, such a barrier developed that Vincent requested to go back to Midgar, shortly before Sephiroth was born."

"Aren't they done already?" Yuffie sighed impatiently.

"Anxious to get in the thick of things, Yuffie?" Lucrecia had that smirk again, "Or are you just waiting for Sephiroth?"

"...Why don't you just go get Cloud?"

_In the living room..._

Barrett was reading a book to Marlene and Cid and Shera were playing "go-fish" when Cloud carried Yuffie into the living room. She winced every step of the way. Somehow, he wasn't quite as cautious as Sephiroth about her comfort. Shortly after she was settled on the couch with her blanket, Sephiroth and Vincent came into the living room. A silence ensued as Barret paused in his reading to acknowledge their presences.

Yuffie took one look at Vincent, and suddenly an image of him and Hojo fighting in a huge cloud of dust and black hair popped into her head, and she started giggling. The giggling broke the silence and everyone looked at her.

"What's so funny?" asked Sephiroth.

"Mr. Roth!" Marlene chimed in, "Papa's reading me a book about a Princess in a boat! Wanna read with us?"

"Marlene," Barrett groaned, "for da last time. His name is not 'Mr. Roth'. It's _Sephiroth_."

Marlene cocked her head, "Sephi-roth?" She turned to the silver-haired man, "Does that mean your first name is 'Sephy'?"

"Uh, no..." Sephiroth tried to object but it was fruitless.

"Uncle Sephy!" Marlene said, clapping her hands, "Uncle Sephy! Sephy!"

"Oh, brother..." Cid groaned.

Shera grinned, "I think it's cute."

"You _would_."

Tifa walked into the living room with her purse over her shoulder, "I have to go to the store again. Anybody want to go with me?"

"I do," Shera got up, placing her cards down.

"Sephiroth," Tifa said, "you need to come with us."

"What for?" Sephiroth was taken aback.

"We need to get you some new clothes. I'm pretty sure that Barrett's a little sick of you wearing his stuff."

"Dat _iz_ true..." Barrett muttered.

"But...you can't go!" Cloud said, "not alone with _him_."

"Well, Cloud," Tifa put her hands on her hips, "if you're going to be so protective, why don't you come with us? Because we're _going_."

Sephiroth looked at Cloud almost pleadingly. Truth be told, even though there was a definite wall between him and the Buster-wielding blond, he didn't want to go clothes-shopping alone with a couple of females. Cloud sighed and conceeded. Sephiroth tried not to look too relieved.


	14. Why Can't We Be Friends?

**Disclaimer:** Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making money off of this.

Chapter Fourteen- Why Can't We Be Friends?

Sephiroth went into culture shock the moment he entered the clothes shop. All of his life, his clothes had been given to him by either Shinra or the military. They even gave him underclothes. He never thought he would stoop to seeking Cloud Strife's protection from total humiliation. But this new visual sensation of color and price tags made the great General want to go out of the store and get some fresh air. He had to use every ounce of control not to stand behind Cloud like a frightened child and to look tough-as-nails in general. Yuffie would probably laugh at his ineptitude

Cloud was too irritated with the situation to notice Sephiroth's nervousness at first. He hated clothes-shopping almost as much as he disliked Sephiroth's company. Tifa and Shera were chatting merrily like any two women would on a shopping trip. The first goal was to get Sephiroth some suitable clothes.

"All right..." Tifa said as the group stopped in the middle of the store, "now, Sephiroth, we have to decide which colors are your colors."

Sephiroth blinked, "My colors? What do you mean 'my colors'?"

"What you look good in, silly," Shera said, "I'm sure some colors would look absolutely terrible against your skin. Others will look smashing. Now, let's see..." Shera moved closer to the General and inspected his facial skin tone, "He's not an autumn or a spring, that's for sure. Warm colors would definitely clash with him."

"I think he's a winter," Tifa said, "jewel tones and black and icy colors..."

"Yes, I agree."

Sephiroth leaned over and whispered to Cloud, "What in the blazes are they talking about?"

"The season system," Cloud replied, "something a bunch of fashion designers or whatnot came up with."

"Now, Sephiroth," Shera took one of Sephiroth's arms, "you just go to the dressing room and we'll hand you some clothes for you to try on."

With a look directed at Cloud that said nothing less than, _"Help me! Save me!"_, Sephiroth was dragged by the two women to a nearby dressing room. He was particularly uneasy about the fact that the only thing that separated him from unnecessary exposure was a curtain. Yuffie would shrug it off and say it was no big deal.

Cloud was beginning to realize the humor in the situation, and the extreme advantage he had at this point in time. He smirked to himself and began to scratch his chin, wondering how he could get some payback in for all those squat-thrusts Sephiroth had him and the other candidatedo during SOLDIER training.

Shera and Tifa split up, looking for clothes. Cloud's eyes wandered around the store and fell upon a pair of jeans that looked like they could be about Sephiroth's size, but with one discrepancy: the text _PINCH ME_, written on the rear part in rainbow colors. Cloud had no idea why that particular item was in this store, but he held back raucous laughter as best he could as his plan began to formulate.

He bid his time. After Shera and Tifa had already given Sephiroth a nice pair of jeans and a couple of sensible, dark-colored shirts to try on, trust had been established. Now was the perfect opportunity. Cloud took the pair of bawdy jeans and walked silently up to the dressing room. He bundled the jeans and poked them against the curtain. Without a word (probably too embarrassed at the whole thing to speak), Sephiroth took the jeans without knowing who exactly had distributed them.

Cloud then stood a little distance away and hid behind a rack of clothes, listening intently for the General's reaction...

_In the dressing room..._

"_What the...!_" Sephiroth released a string of choice words which coincided with sounds of struggling as he wrestled to get the ridiculous pants off. He felt defiled by this horrid piece of denim. What would Yuffie think?

"Sephiroth, are you okay?" Tifa approached the dressing room with caution.

"What are these?" Sephiroth shot his arm out from behind the curtain to reveal the evil jeans.

Tifa took them, and after a moment, she gasped, "O...mi...gosh..." She said to Shera, who was standing nearby, "Shera, did you give these to Sephiroth?"

Shera looked at the jeans and answered, shocked, "Of course not! Would I have him wear something like that?"

Tifa looked thoughtful for a moment, and then sternly spoke, "Cloud...Where are you?"

"Nowhere," came the too-innocent reply.

"Did you give these to Sephiroth, Cloud?"

"No," was the sweet-as-sugar answer.

"Cloud, this isn't funny!"

"Oh yes, it is," spoke an amused blond.

"Strife..." Sephiroth seethed, "If there were no ladies present, I would turn you inside out as soon as I put my clothes back on."

"Cloud," Tifa sighed, "show yourself or you're sleeping in the treehouse!"

"Okay, okay," Cloud came out of hiding, "Geez...can't take a joke..."

"A joke!" Tifa said, and then hissed through her teeth, "Cloud..."

"I'm sorry, okay?" Cloud called towards the curtain, "I won't do it again!"

"You'd better not..." Sephiroth said darkly.

"Now, _you_ behave too," Tifa said to Sephiroth, "I won't tolerate any prank wars!"

"Wouldn't dream of it..." Sephiroth grumbled.

After selecting several shirts and about three pairs of jeans for the former General, Tifa told Sephiroth and Cloud to wait for her and Shera because they were going to pick out some maternity clothes for Tifa. Since there was not much in the way of browsing in this store, and it was a general tradition to wait nearby where the women were shopping, this left Cloud and Sephiroth standing alone together in an awkward silence. In an effort to end the quiet, Cloud decided to make his "Hourly Civil Comment to Sephiroth" (one per hour was Tifa's requirement) and get it over with.

"If you ever get married, be prepared for this sort of thing a _lot_," he said.

"What sort of thing?" Sephiroth asked.

"Waiting for the woman to get done with her shopping, and standing in the midst of a lot of girly clothes in the process," Cloud shook his head, "It's _really_ bad if she has to buy underwear, then you have to wait in the bra and stocking section. Thankfully, though, today we only have tarry amongst the flowery pants. We should've brought Cid along. He can sympathize."

"...Cid seems to be an interesting fellow."

"Yes, we met him when the Shinra were trying to take his plane. He has a very vast vocabulary. The only problem is two thirds of the words in his vocabulary aren't fit to be heard. Even Barrett knows to keep his dirty language at a nil when he's around Marlene."

"Barrett...why does he have a gun instead of a right arm?"

"A bunch of Shinra soldiers shot it off, right after they burned down his village."

"Marlene isn't really his daughter, is she?"

"No. She was his best friend's daughter. Barrett raised her... She seems to like you a lot."

"...She does, doesn't she?"

"...What _is_ the deal with the shiny gold beetle?" _(A/N: Are they never going to let him that one down?)_

Sephiroth resisted the urge to roll his eyes, "Just some story I made up on the spot. She was _begging_ me to tell her a story."

"She can be persistent... Sephiroth, I gotta ask you something. It's been on my mind since yesterday..."

Sephiroth clinched his teeth, "I'm...not...gay..."

"...Uh, that's not what I was going to ask."

"Oh...all right."

"Far from it; I was going to ask what exactly is going on between you and Yuffie?"

"What do you mean, 'going on?'"

"Yesterday, when she told you to be quiet, you were quiet."

"So?"

"_So_, why does the great General Sephiroth who once had the potential to become the god of this planet listen to an injured girl lying on a couch?"

Sephiroth blinked, "Because...she...she is my friend...I think."

"You _think_? Well, I guess she _is_ your friend, since she stood up for you and all. And you saved her life and been helping her a lot, so that makes you _her_ friend. However, I want to know if it's becoming more than that?"

"...How do you mean?"

"Do you know how old she is, Sephiroth?"

"Eighteen."

"No, she's not, she's...no, wait...you're right, she's eighteen... But that's beside the point!"

Sephiroth's eyes widened, "I hope that you are not implying that she and I...why, that's _ridiculous_!"

"Not _very_ ridiculous. I can see it now: her knight in shining armor coming to rescue her in her hour of utmost need. And you found an opportunity to rescue a damsel in distress. It's almost perfect, really..."

"I never knew you were a fan of romance novels, Strife."

"Don't change the subject. And I'm _not_ a fan of romance novels! I'm merely stating facts."

"If you were stating facts, you would say that Yuffie went outside, met with some assailants, and I helped her."

"Something tells me that that's not the entire story."

"You're right; it isn't. But that doesn't mean that I'm falling in love with her."

"_Sure_, it doesn't. I'm going to keep my eye on you, Sephiroth..."

"Go right on ahead, Strife..."

_By the dressing room..._

"Are they getting along, Shera?" Tifa asked from behind the curtain, "Can you tell from here?"

Shera answered, "...They're having a conversation. It doesn't seem to be heated."

"Oh, good!"

_By the clothes racks..._

"Yuffie is like a sister to me, " Cloud said, "If you hurt her in any way, shape, or form, you're going to do time in the Lifestream."

"Oh, I'm _so_ scared," Sephiroth sarcastically sneered.

"And _Mama_ won't be there that time; neither one of them."

Sephiroth's eyes narrowed, "Leave my mother out of this."

"And it won't be just me. Barret, Cid, Vincent, and Reeve will be there too if you hurt Yuffie."

"Reeve? You should know better than to threaten me with Reeve, Strife. What's he going to do? Hurl waffles at my head?"

"Hey, he's a good shot. I mean, with a _gun_."

"I am _not_ going to hurt Yuffie; so _there_."

"You had better not..."

"How are we getting along?" Tifa cheerfully said as she and Shera approached them.

Sephiroth and Cloud managed two congenial smiles.

"Just fine and dandy..." Cloud said.

_On the way home..._

Sephiroth kept quiet while Tifa and Shera chattered away with Cloud making a comment here and there. He was too busy with his thoughts. How could that foolish blond presume that _he_, Sephiroth, was developing romantic inclinations with the pipsqueak? Well, she wasn't a _pipsqueak_, just...shorter than him. A _lot _shorter. Sure, she was nice to talk to, but... He wasn't the type to enter this sort of relationship, but... There _was_ a possibility that she _might_ like him, but...

She sure was nice to talk to, and kind of pretty...

_"Sephiroth, get a grip on yourself!"_ he thought, _"You're thinking about Yuffie here. **Yuffie**!"_

He managed to shake off the strange thoughts for a few moments before he began to wonder if Yuffie would like his new clothes. He wondered if she was into the whole "season" business. Inasmuch as he was embarrassed about it at the time, he wanted to see how Yuffie would laugh (rather chuckle, in her weakened state) at the story of the evil rainbow denim. Then he pondered about how it would only be a couple of more weeks before Yuffie could start walking again. And then, he thought about Yuffie...

_"Hold it, you crazy moron!"_ Sephiroth screamed at himself in his thoughts, _"Stop it this instant! This is going far enough!" _How would Yuffie react if she knew he were thinking like this? He decided to take his mind off of Yuffie.

The sky was nice today. He was glad that the grass was growing around Kalm again since they went back to electricity instead of Mako energy. Then he looked at his hair. It was getting too stringy again. He'd have to wash it tonight. Yuffie had recommended that he used more shampoo. Yuffie always...

_"**Stop thinking about Yuffie**!"_

He was acting ridiculous. And the last thing he wanted at this time was to prove Cloud Strife right. It would never work, him and Yuffie. He was sure that the others would never allow it... But who cares what _they_ thought? They didn't own his and Yuffie's lives. She _had_ been the quickest to forgive him, and she made_ great _chicken pasta...

_"**Stop**!"_

_Author's note: I'd say that Sephiroth is taking a swim "De-nial" river._


	15. Accessories Are A Must

(Kit Thespian enters)

Kit Thespian: School's out, no more exams, no more worries...I HAVE NOTHING TO DO! (falls into a heap and starts weeping)

(Enter Sephiroth and Cloud)

Cloud: Ho boy, if the author breaks down, it's over for us.

Sephiroth: There's no telling what she will make us do.

Cloud: Let's try to cheer her up. (walks to Kit Thespian) Hey, Thesp, what's wrong?

Kit Thespian: I feel empty. I have nothing to do now.

Cloud: Have you tried beating the game?

Kit Thespian: I already did. (to Sephiroth) YOU WERE THE DADGUM EASIEST FINAL BOSS I'VE EVER FOUGHT! WHERE'S THE CHALLENGE, HUH? WHERE'S THE CHALLENGE? (collapses back into heap)

Cloud: She's talking in caps letters. This isn't good.

Sephiroth: It's never good.

Kit Thespian (moans): I didn't even get to hear the "_Veni, veni, venias_" part of "One-Winged Angel"...

Sephiroth (winces): _That_ easy?

Kit Thespian: No Super Nova, no Pale Horse, one Shadow Flare and that's it.

Sephiroth: Geez, how did you do it?

Kit Thespian: Cid Regened and De-barriered, Cloud Omnislashed, and Yuffie delivered the final blow, with a few hits in between. They all had HP Plus Materia.

Sephiroth: Yuffie delivered the final blow? O.o

Kit Thespian: Yeah, it was quite a shock to me.

Sephiroth: Me too.

Kit Thespian: Now I have nothing to do. It's depressing.

Cloud: Well...you've got us!

Kit Thespian (not-thrilled): Thrilling...

Cloud: What about your stories?

Kit Thespian (not-excited): Exciting...

Sephiroth (grabbing the author and slapping her a couple of times): Snap out of it! You sound like Marvin the robot!

Kit Thespian! (how does he know who Marvin the robot is?)

Sephiroth: Get to that keyboard and START WRITING!

Cloud: Now _he's _talking in caps.

Sephiroth: SHUT UP!

**Disclaimer:** Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making money off of this.

Chapter Fifteen- Accessories Are A Must

While Sephiroth, Cloud, Tifa, and Shera were at the clothes store, someone knocked on the door at the Strife residence. Barrett knew that it was not someone they knew well, because he or she actually knocked before coming in the house. Cid was in the basement, playing solitare or such. Vincent was upstairs reading a book. Marlene was in the backyard, showing Reeve all the neat butterflies. Barrett went and answered the door and it was Dr. Kerring from Andrus Street.

"Mr. Wallace," he said, smiling, "I didn't know you were back."

"What's up?" Barrett grinned. He and Dr. Kerring already knew each other from several months before when Marlene had a stomach virus.

"May I come in?"

"Sure."

The old man walked in and said, "Is Miss Kisaragi here?"

"Yep. Don't know where else she'd be."

"So, she is still abed?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, after I diagnosed her, I got to thinking, 'A girl with that much energy shouldn't have to be cooped up in the house for so long'. You see, Shinra manufactured potions and ethers and such in their factories, but after what happened they quit shipping from Junon, so the potions became scarce. And I thought, 'It's ridiculous that they have all the valuable medicine while we in Kalm suffer'. Well, I hitched a ride on a chocobo and went to Junon (going through that swamp and mythril mine wasn't easy, I can tell you that) and got a supply of potions and phoenix downs. Well, here I am with a potion. I'm sure that Miss Yuffie is tired of laying around."

Barrett took a good look at the green bottle in Dr. Kerring's hands and his eyes widened with surprise, "Whoa, you some kinda guy, Doc! This way..."

With all eyes on her, Yuffie welcomed the potion with relish. The green liquid took its full effect and healed the bruises on Yuffie's ribs, restored her lips, and removed all swelling and redness from her face. Only a few moments later, she sat up and moved around.

"Wow!" she said.

"No more pain?" Dr. Kerring said.

"Just a _little _soreness, but it's not bad anymore. In fact, it's going away..."

"Try walking."

Yuffie was ready to jump up and start running around, but Dr. Kerring put a gentle hand on her arm and said, "Easy now. You haven't walked in almost a couple of weeks. Take it slowly and steadily."

Yuffie gently placed her feet on the ground. True, her feet felt a little tingly from disuse, but it was so great to be on her feet again that Yuffie was willing to endure it. Lucrecia and Barrett stood by, ready to assist her if need be. But soon she was walking around the room. Reeve walked in from the backyard with Marlene.

"Hey, Yuff, you're all better!" he blurted.

"Dr. Kerring found a potion!" she said, grinning.

"Yay!" Marlene clapped her hands, "Yay, Auntie Yuffie!"

"Cool! Ready to armwrestle again?" Reeve asked.

"Now, Reeve..." Lucrecia spoke sternly, with her hands on her hips.

"Thank you so much, Doctor," Yuffie shook Dr. Kerring's hand.

"Anytime..." Dr. Kerring answered, "just tell Mrs. Strife that it'll be added to the bill."

"Yeah, when're you going to send us that anyway?"

"When I need the money. Good day."

After Dr. Kerring left, Yuffie announced that she was going to the shower and was not to be disturbed. Lucrecia and Barrett were still trying to get over the fact that Yuffie was no longer an invalid, and they stood in a quiet shock. But Reeve and Yuffie were of the sort that adapted pretty quickly to any situation without giving it too much thought. The only thoughts going through Yuffie's mind at this time were what the look on Sephiroth's face could be when he saw her up and about.

Shortly after, the shopping crowd returned home. Cid came up from the basement to greet his wife, and he and everyone else who did not go on the trip were quite taken aback by the sight of Sephiroth wearing dark blue jeans and heather blue t-shirt with a picture of the Corel Mountains on the back and a pocket in the front, and hiking boots. Except for Marlene, of course. Children don't think about these sort of things. She just skipped up to him and tugged on his pant leg.

"Uncle Sephy! Auntie Yuffie's all better."

Sephiroth blinked, "What?"

Lucrecia said, "Dr. Kerring came by. He'd gotten a potion from Junon."

"That's great!" said Cloud, "Where is she?"

"In the shower, and not to be disturbed."

Sephiroth could hear the hair dryer start going in Yuffie's bathroom. She would probably be out shortly. Tifa had checked the mail on their way in and was sorting through it in front of the coffee table.

"For Cloud...For Cloud...Here's one for '_Cloud and Tifa Strife, Barrett Wallace, and Yuffie Kisaragi_.' It's from the people in the Junon Area. What do they need the whole household for?"

Reeve commented, "They might have a monster problem. I've heard talk in the other towns, _'If it gets any worse than this, we'll have to get that Cloud Strife and his gang.'_ Gang, hmph! You'd think ya'll were the mafia or something."

"Well, if it _is_ a monster problem," Cloud said, pointing to Tifa, "_you're_ not going."

"Yuffie shouldn't either...Oh, I forgot! She's better now, isn't she?" Tifa asked Barrett.

"Right as rain," he answered, "Depends on if she wants ta go, I guess."

Tifa opened the letter and sighed, "Yeah, it says the monster population is increasing over there."

"You can beat up every monster there is, Papa!" Marlene hugged Barrett's leg.

"You know..." Sephiroth spoke, "I _could _help, if you'd let me."

Everyone shifted their gazes to the former General and stared at him for a few moments.

"_You?_" Cloud said.

"If you don't recall, I was the highest ranking member of SOLDIER at one time. I could help you a good deal."

"Alone in the woods with _you_?" Barrett narrowed his eyes, "I don't _think_ so."

Sephiroth smirked and decided to play at the others' own game, "So you prefer it if I stayed here with Marlene while you're away?"

Barrett opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again. Sephiroth had a point.

"Oh, boy..." Cloud groaned.

"Cloud, Barrett," Tifa said, a little exasperated, "what is it going to take to convince you that he's an honest man?"

"A _lot_ more," Cid remarked.

"Oh!" Lucrecia grumbled, but she had figured out by this time that nothing she nor Tifa would say would convince them to trust her son.

Considering the extreme awkward silence that followed, Yuffie couldn't have timed her entrance better. She strutted in with her newly washed and dried hair and some clean clothes. In fact, she was wearing a flattering dark red button-up blouse and blue jeans. She stopped by the sofa nearest the front door and cleared her throat.

Lucrecia was the first to speak, "Oh, don't you look nice!"

Everyone said something complimentary to the ninja, except Sephiroth. Ironically, he was the one that wanted to compliment her the most. She'd never looked so pretty. However, in light of the fact that Cloud suspected his affections for her, it could prove very unwise to make a compliment on her looks now. Sadly enough, his absent compliment was the one that Yuffie was waiting for. She couldn't care less what the others thought about her appearance.

_"But he likes it,"_ she thought, _"Look at the way his eyes are averted. Maybe he's just being shy. **Sephiroth **being shy!"_ She smirked a little at the thought of it. Contrary to popular opinion, Yuffie actually did have a good deal of sense. It was probably acquired during her adventure against Meteor, but she had it. She was aware that she didn't need to be apparent about her liking Sephiroth. Lucrecia had already figured it out. She was sure the others were beginning to suspect. But let them suspect! Yuffie really thought it was ridiculous that she and Sephiroth should have to hide their feelings if they really had them for each other.

Funnily enough, Lucrecia remarked, with a slight nudge of the elbow against her offspring, "Doesn't she look nice, Sephiroth?"

Sephiroth almost groaned. Leave it to Mother to be obvious. He nodded, "Very nice."

Involuntarily, Yuffie's face beamed. Cloud cleared his throat disapprovingly and said, "Yuffie, are you up to an adventure?"

"Adventure?" Yuffie cocked her head.

"We're being called to the Junon wilderness. Tifa can't go. Perhaps you should go in her place."

"Sure!" Yuffie shrugged, "When do we leave?"

"As soon as possible."

"I'll change into my traveling clothes. Be right back!" Yuffie turned and bounded off to her room. Her leaving did not cease the tension in the room, but it lessened it somewhat. She went to her room, locked the door, and hastily changed into her green shirt and shorts. She went to her dresser, and pulled out her Conformer, which had been lovingly stored away in a clean cloth. She tested the edges with her fingernail, seeing they were still sharp.

Yuffie actually had the chief advantage over the others in this case. She had lived for several years in the Junon wilderness, and knew the monsters there better than anyone. She knew how to finish them off in one fell blow, and with her Conformer, nothing would stand in her way. But there was also another factor that had to been taken into consideration. She went to her closet and pulled out her white cape and star pendant. The creatures in the forest were notorious for spewing out different elements that could affect one gravely. The birds could poison a human (that was what the star pendant was for). Some of the smaller creatures could make you change into a frog, or worse, be shrunken to six inches or less; the white cape had properties that guarded against this.

Someone knocked on her door just as she was making final adjustments on her white cape. She opened it to find Sephiroth still there.

"You have my armor," he said.

"So I do. Amazing that none of us thought to move it...wait, you're going with us?" Yuffie grinned.

"Yes."

"Oh, great! Your armor is just over here," she walked to her closet and pulled the bundle out, "Hope you do mind if the coat's a little wrinkled. I didn't really have a chance to hang it up, if you know what I mean."

"Of course." After taking the armor and leather in his arms, he turned to leave.

"Wait!" Yuffie went to her dresser and pulled out another star pendant, "You'll need this. It'll keep the monsters' poison at bay."

Considering that Sephiroth had never wondered around in the wilderness a good deal around Junon without a Ribbon, he thought at first that perhaps this was a strange Wutaian superstition. He didn't say anything, but for Yuffie's sake put the pendant around his neck.

"It's a shame I don't have an extra white cape for you," she said.

"White cape?"

"To keep you from getting turned into a frog."

Sephiroth's brow furrowed, "A frog?"

"Or a mini-man. But I wouldn't worry about that. Most of those kinds of animals get killed pretty quick anyway. Maybe Cloud has an extra cape."

"...Yuffie, this sounds rather silly."

"What does?" Yuffie blinked.

"A pendant, a cape...to protect from being turned into a frog?"

Yuffie placed a hand on her hip, "Oh, you think it's ridiculous, hm? Just ask Cid what happened the last time he tangled with a dart frog without a white cape. Let me put it this way: _ribbit, ribbit_."

At that moment, Sephiroth remembered creatures that could produce these strange status ailments. However, SOLDIER had given him and his captainsRibbon accessories that stopped all of these things, so he had never had to worry about it. He had lost his Ribbon, though, when Cloud hurled him down into the Mako pit. Apparently, since that time, Shinra factories managed to produce cheaper accessories that would prevent one or two ailments.

Realizing that he didn't have full protection against these spells anymore, Sephiroth said, trying not to sound as disturbed as he felt, "What happens if you do get turned into one of these things?"

"The best solution is Cornucopia for mini syndrome, and Maiden's Kiss for getting turned into a frog. They're potions you can easily get in Junon. A Ill-effect Antidote will cure poison, but you have a star pendant; you won't have to worry about that."

"What if you can't get a hold of these things?"

"I think the effect wears off in a couple days; three at the most. But it would be annoying have to eat flies for three days. It's better to get the antidotes."

"This is confusing."

"Hey, be happy we're not going to a malfunctioning Mako reactor. You'd meet some crazies there, I'll tell you what."

"I've been to a malfunctioning Mako reactor, and have never been shrunk." _Thanks to the Ribbon that I no longer have..._

"You're lucky."

Sephiroth stared at the ninja in silence for a moment before speaking, "I'd better get changed."

"See you in a moment." Yuffie went back to getting essentials and putting them in her pouch.


	16. Strange Things Wark Amongst Us

(Enter Sephiroth, Cloud, Barrett, and Cid)

Cloud: Hey, where's Kit Thespian?

Sephiroth: Hope she didn't collapse into another heap. We'll have to find her then.

Cid: Aw, let her -_bleeping_- collapse into another -_bleeping_- heap! We won't have to do a -_bleep_- Disclaimer then!

Barrett: Hey, man, better watch it. Ya know Thesp's motto.

Cid (blinks): Motto?

Sephiroth, Cloud, and Barrett: "Don't diss the Disclaimer."

Cid: Aw, yeah, I've heard it before. From her own -_bleeping_- lips, in fact. _I_ say, -_bleep_- -_bleep_- -_bleep_- the -_bleeped_- Disclaimer!

(Barrett jumps on Cid and clamps his mouth with his good hand)

Barrett: Boy, you'd betta shut up! We could face serious penalties...

(Too late. Kit Thespian, who was hidden in a curtain, emerges on the scene with an evil grin on her face. The heroes don't realize it until she snaps her fingers. They all assume strange stances and begin singing and dancing around the stage like a bunch of chimpanzees.)

Sephiroth: _Give me a head with hair! Long, beautiful hair! Shining, gleaming, curling, flaxen, waxen! Cover me with hair!_

Cloud, Barrett, and Cid: _Hair!_

Sephiroth: _Shoulder-length or longer!_

Cloud, Barrett, and Cid: _Hair!_

Sephiroth: _Here, baby! There, momma! Everywhere, laddie-daddie! Haaaairrrr!_

Cloud, Barrett, and Cid: _Hair! Hair! Hair! Hair!_

Sephiroth: _Flow it! Show it! Long as I can grow it! My haaaaiiirrr!_

Cloud, Barrett, and Cid: _Hair! Hair! Hair! Hair!_

All: _Oh, say, can you see my eyes? If you can, then my hair's too short!_

Sephiroth: _Down to here, down to there! My hair! Flow it! Show it! Long as I can grow it! My haaaiirrrr!_

Cloud, Barrett, and Cid: _Hair! Hair! Hair! Hair! Haaaaaiiiirrrr!_

(Kit Thespian ends their suffering and they come back to their senses. Sephiroth, Cloud, and Barrett throw angry glances at a cowering Cid.)

Cid: Hey, uh, guys! (chuckles nervously) We're all pals here, right? Right? (screams and runs) HEEEELLLLLPPP!

(The other three chase after them, getting their weapons ready. Kit Thespian shakes her head)

**Disclaimer**: Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making money from this.

Chapter Sixteen- Strange Things Wark Amongst Us

Cloud, Sephiroth, Barrett, and Yuffie began the trek towards the Junon wilderness. There was very little conversation at first. Cid, Vincent, and Reeve had stayed behind to look after the other women. Normally, Cloud and Barrett would have been chatting, but with the former enemy walking by their side as an ally, they weren't sure how to adapt to the situation as of yet. Yuffie could sense the awkwardness of the situation, and kept her mouth shut for a little while. She had commented on Cloud and Barrett's lack of a white cape, but they brushed it off.

Amazingly enough, the first person to talk on the journey was Sephiroth, and he addressed Yuffie, referring to her Conformer, "Are you any good with that thing?"

Yuffie smirked and started to strut in her particularly cute manner (at least Sephiroth thought it was cute; Cloud and Barrett were a little annoyed), "I'll have you know, Mister Sephiroth, that I am a full-fledged ninja!" Then her face took on a little more serious tone, "Probably the last of them..." She pointed at the Masamune, "Are you any good with that, or are you out of practice?"

It was more of a statement of banter than anything else. Yuffie knew that Sephiroth handled himself magnificently with the Masamune. He bit back a grin and answered, "I should hope that I am."

"Because you need to haul your weight here; no laziness," Yuffie teased.

If Cloud and Barrett's vigilant stares were not heavy on his shoulders at this moment, Sephiroth might have responded favorably to Yuffie's flirting. As it was, dissention was not needed in the group now.

"Well, I'm not going to carry _you_ the whole way if you get hurt," he said, "Watch yourself."

"I won't get hurt; this place was like a second home to me once. You three need to be extra careful, with no white capes and all..."

"Yuffie, for the umpteenth time," Cloud grumbled, "the creatures around here don't cast those spells. If there were, they died off. We never encountered those sorts here."

"That's because you didn't _live_ here!" Yuffie insisted, "I was lucky never to get the brunt of it myself, since I, ahem, _procured_ a white cape from someone, but there was more than one instance where I would encounter an unlucky traveler who had been shrunk or turned into a frog. If you stay in those woods long enough, you'll find those kind of monsters. They're timid of you at first, you see, but once they're confident enough, they jump you!"

"Whatever, Yuff," Barrett said.

Yuffie rolled her eyes. Why do men have to be so _macho_? It was rather silly, if you ask her.

The group had to go by the land near the Chocobo Ranch to find chocobos. Some wild greens grew in the land, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was gaining the chocobos' trust. For Yuffie, it was no problem. All she had to do was get some greens, wave them gently at a nearby chocobo, and say something to the effect of, "Here, Choco, Choco..." and the feathery creature skipped to her immediately.

For the three men, it was a different story. It took more than dangling and cajoling. Every attempt, for two hours, at catching chocobos failed. Their imposing figures were too much for the wild animals to trust at this time. Yuffie roared with laughter while she stroked her chocobo behind the ears when Barrett accidentally tripped over his big feet at one point.

Then Cloud came up with an ingenious plan. It was quite simple, really, and the three men felt very sheepish because it took them so long to think of it. All they had to do was let Yuffie ride her chocobo over to other wild chocobos, charm them, and bring them to the three men. However, it was easier said than done.

"Leave it to these guys to make _me_ do all the work..." Yuffie muttered to herself. She gently led her chocobo to a group of chocobos feeding on some greens in a nearby grove. She scratched behind her chocobo's ear to make it produce the cheery "wark" sound. It kept warking, as if to say, _"This is a **nice** human being; not like those three neanderthals over there."_

Sephiroth never liked chocobos. They smelled, they bit, and sometimes they even spit on you, but only when they were in really bad moods. He was fascinated that someone so vibrant and hyper like Yuffie could be so good with animals. Animals generally shied away from those kinds of people, but not Yuffie. Maybe it was because she was a woman. Cloud stood rather patiently, scratching his spiky hair every once in a while. Barrett tapped his foot on the ground, examining his gun arm from time to time. Sephiroth was used to standing in a still position, waiting for something. Like that day in Nibelheim when Tifa was running late to guide them into the mountains, he had remained motionless without a word unless addressed. It was one of his lovely, intimidating qualities.

After about fifteen minutes, Sephiroth caught sight of Yuffie coming back with at least five or six chocobos trailing behind her. He, Cloud, and Barrett remembered the plan: not even the slightest motion until three chocobos were within hand's reach of them. Sephiroth had to resist the urge to gag as the big, feathery creatures approached them.

_"I **hate** chocobos,"_ he thought, clenching his teeth. His last experience with a chocobo wasn't very pleasant. Being colorblind, the chocobo thought that Sephiroth's hair looked yummy. It took him three months to regrow his hair. And if there was one thing Sephiroth hated, it was when his hair was messed with without his say-so.

Finally, after three minutes of waiting for the right moment, the three men simultaneously took hold of a chocobo each and mounted the birds without much trouble.

"Remember, scratch it behind the left ear," Yuffie reminded them.

And then they headed for the Mythril Mine. Despite his dislike for the things, Sephiroth was actually very grateful for his chocobo. Riding a chocobo meant no wading through the swamp. A chocobo's swiftness and bird feet enabled it to run over the swamp without sinking to much into the mire. There was also the issue of a Midgar Zolom finding them, but the group didn't encounter one at this time.

Sephiroth was a little irritated to discover that chocobos could not navigate through the Mythril Mine. It would be walking from here on out. They left the chocobos and made their way through the mine.

Cloud remarked to Barrett, "Remember when we first came through here together? Those Turks were here."

"Yeah, I 'member them," Barrett rolled his eyes, "For a bunch of trained assassins, I've never seen a dumber crowd."

"They must have degraded since I last worked with them," said Sephiroth.

"You've no idea," Cloud spoke, "By the time we had to stand up against them, the Turks basically consisted of an egocentric, a dumb blond, a cranky redhead, and a bald guy with a speech impediment."

"They could put up a fight, tho'," Barrett shuddered, "they weren't Turks for nothin'."

It was pointless chit-chat like this that got the group through the journey to the Junon wilderness. They passed Fort Condor, and Cloud, Barrett, and Yuffie relayed their experiences there to Sephiroth. Yuffie noticed that Cloud and Barrett were getting more comfortable with Sephiroth. That was a relief, all things considered.

They encountered several monsters along the way, but nothing that they couldn't handle quite easily. However, Sephiroth was always jumping in first before Yuffie, wielding the Masamune, before she could get the chance to attack, so she had yet to show off her skills with the Conformer. And she was becoming more than a little irritated with him.

"Why won't you let me fight?" she asked when they got to the forest, almost hopping up and down to emphasize her point, "I can fight and you know it!"

Sephiroth answered, "I don't want you to get hurt again."

"Helloooo!" Yuffie was turning red, "I lived here for _how_ many years? I'm not a baby, you know..."

"I know you're not a baby, but you're a...a..."

"A _girl_? Is that what you want to say?"

"No, you're not a girl, but...you're..."

"A female, huh? Just a poor, pathetic female who can't defend herself?"

"Stop putting words in my mouth!"

"Then stop getting in my way!"

"Fine, then!"

"Fine!"

"_Fine_!" Now Sephiroth was starting to turn red.

"_Fine!_"

If it weren't so much like watching a soap opera (and twice as entertaining), Cloud and Barrett may have intervened when the argument started. But Cloud was anxious to see how this would turn out and Barrett was getting a kick out of it. They stood aside in silence.

"You male-chauvenist brute!" Yuffie stomped her foot.

"Selfish, spoiled brat!" Sephiroth snapped.

"Egotistical jerk!"

"Overbearing shrew!"

"Condescending meglomaniac!"

Cloud hadn't even know that those words were in Yuffie's vocabulary. He smirked and Barrett put his hand to his face to hide his chuckles. The two heroes had figured out Sephiroth and Yuffie's attraction to one another, and were only now getting used to the idea, but it was very interesting to see it come out at full force in the form of a lover's quarrel. They were so wrapped up in watching the General and Ninja bicker that they didn't notice the cute dart frog sneaking up behind them, curious about these outsiders.

You see, when Shinra was still in existence, they managed to keep the dart frog population down a good deal. Now that Shinra was gone, the frogs had become a little more bold. This was something that the group was completely unaware of; except perhaps Yuffie, only she was a little caught up at this moment.

"If you're going to be like this, then go ahead! But I'm leaving!" Yuffie turned around and stormed off, retreating into the brush. In a matter of seconds, she was nowhere to be seen.

Sephiroth grumbled to himself, "Ridiculous female..."

"She'll be okay," Cloud said, trying not to laugh, "she knows these woods. Say, uh, Sephiroth, what was that about nothing going on between you two?"

"Whatever do you mean?" Sephiroth looked shocked.

"Sorry, buddy-boy," Barrett chortled, "You two have jus' given yo'selves away."

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, "I thought you didn't approve..." he hastily added, "Not that there's anything going on, you see."

"Sure, sure, Sephiroth," Cloud sarcastically spoke, "Absolutely _nothing_ going on."

"I don't like what your tone of voice is insinuating... What's that?" Sephiroth pointed to the rustling in the bushes. Cloud and Barrett turned around...

_Meanwhile, in a nearby tree..._

Yuffie was perched a lower branch of an oak, sulking. Now Sephiroth would never want to talk to her again. She had never seen him so angry. But she lost her temper too, so she was just as much to blame for this as he was.

_"I need to go and apologize. There's nothing to lose. He's probably cooled off by now."_

She got up and headed for the grove where she left the others. She didn't see Cloud, Barrett, or Sephiroth anywhere. But they couldn't have gone far.

_Ribbit..._

Startled, Yuffie looked across the way to find a huge dart bullfrog looking at her. She grabbed her Conformer without delay and hurled it at the beast. The frog was swiftly dispatched and the Conformer flew back to Yuffie's waiting hand.

_"It's a pity Sephiroth wasn't here to see **that**. That would show him. And Cloud and Barrett too. No dart frogs in the woods, my foot..."_

_Ribbit...Ribbit..._

Yuffie looked around, _"More frogs?"_

She glanced down, but instead of finding the huge dart frogs that she expected, she saw three tiny frogs squatting down in the brush.

_"Those aren't dart frogs... What the...?"_

It was then that she noticed Cloud's Ultima Weapon and Sephiroth's Masamune lying on the ground. Hoping that the thought crossing her mind was just a meaningless theory, she walked closer to the three little frogs.

"Oh, no..." She murmured out loud, "Oh, no..."

One of the little frogs was a dark, dark green color. The other one had more of a yellowish tint to it, with blue eyes. The third was pale green with eyes of the same color.

Yuffie's hand flew up to her mouth, "Oh, _no_!"


	17. It's Not Easy Being Green

(Kit Thespian enters the stage)

Kit Thespian: Due to the trauma that many of my heros suffered during the last disclaimer, this chapter's disclaimer will be presented by (to herself) _of all people_ (to audience) Vincent Valentine

(Enter Vincent. All Vincent fangirls start drooling. He stands in the middle of the stage, perfectly still. After a moment of silence, Kit Thespian speaks)

Kit Thespian: Urm...Vincent? The Disclaimer, please.

Vincent (to Kit Thespian): Why?

Kit Thespian: ...Because I don't want to get _sued_, that's why.

Vincent: What's the point in a Disclaimer? Why do we need Disclaimers?

Kit Thespian: To show that we don't _own_ the original story and that we're not profiting off of it.

Vincent: Life is meaningless...why bother?

Kit Thespian (groans): Vincent, just state the Disclaimer already.

Vincent: Lucrecia...my beautiful, beautiful Lucrecia...

Kit Thespian: Here he goes again... (goes offstage to retrieve something)

Vincent: I didn't do anything...that is my sin...Thirty years to atone...

(Kit Thespian enters the stage with a baseball bat.)

Vincent: Doom and gloom...Doom and gloom... (Kit Thespian gives him a good whack.) Ow! What was that for?

Kit Thespian: You're stealing the spotlight, _again,_ and not doing a very good job either! Not to mention you're taking up space! Disclaim!

Vincent (grumbles, rubs his head): Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII, or the characters therein. And she is not making money off of this.

_Author's note: Mrs. Cranston is the woman in Junon who gives you a room._

Chapter Seventeen- It's Not Easy Being Green

Dart frogs are generally known to be cannibalistic, and the primary purpose of turning human beings into smaller frogs than they was dietary consumption. Another reason for the transformations could be attributed to self-defense, but since dart frogs weren't afraid to confront humans, this was a lesser-suspected reason. If not rescued by another human being equipped with the proper accessories or just fast enough to kill the dart frog, a person changed into a frog would quickly become a meal. If rescued, Maiden's Kiss potion would have to be sought out or the person would have to wait a few days for the spell to wear off. In the meantime, the victims would have to cope.

Whatever the case, Sephiroth, Barrett, and Cloud were officially frogs.

"Oh, no! Oh, no!" was all Yuffie could say for several minutes. This was terrible. Here she was stuck in the middle of the woods with her three male companions all turned into frogs and their weapons lying on the ground.

The only responses the three amphibians could manage were, _Ribbit, ribbit_.

"What am I going to do?" Yuffie said out loud, "I can't _leave_ you here. Come on..." She knelt down and the frogs leapt into her hands. They were so small that they all fit. She spoke, "I can't leave the swords here either; someone might take them. Oh, boy..." She realized what she had to do.

Placing the frogs on the ground, Yuffie told them to wait just one second. With a great deal of effort, she managed to strap the Ultimate Weapon and the Masamune on her back. She couldn't pick them up to wield them, but maybe she could manage to drag them to Junon.

_"Gosh, my back's gonna hurt for three days... Sephiroth and Cloud will owe me big for this. No frogs in the Junon wilderness, my hind leg,"_ she thought. Then she took the frogs in her hands and began her arduous walk, first out of the forests' border, and then towards Junon.

After getting out of the forest, Yuffie and the frogs thought it safe to make noise. Yuffie addressed them, "Well, since all you three can manage is 'ribbit', we're going to have to establish a line of communication here." A string of ribbits seemed to concur with this statement. Yuffie continued, "Therefore, I suggest the following: I'll talk to you in yes or no questions. If you answer yes, one ribbit. If no, then two ribbits. Do we agree?"

_Ribbit_.

"I'll take that as a yes."

There really wasn't that much to talk about. Yuffie just started to ramble about random things. She thought that it could have two positive effects: one, it could entertain her companions, or two, it could put them to sleep. She found that the ribbits of each man-frog were distinct from the other. Barrett-frog's ribbit was gutteral. Cloud-frog's ribbit was lighter. Sephiroth-frog's ribbit was deep but not gutteral.

"...So that's why the Pagoda of the Five Gods was built the first place was... Am I boring you?"

_Ribbit._

_Ribbit._

_Ribbit, ribbit_.

Yuffie smirked. She knew that the "no" answer came from Sephiroth. Every time she had asked that question, he answered no. Either he was being very nice, or he just liked to hear her talk. Most likely it was the former.

_"Sephiroth being nice..."_ she thought. She said outloud, to Cloud and Barrett, "Well, since I'm boring _you_ two... Here's a progress report: we should reach Junon by nightfall, if that comforts you. The shops will probably be closed by then, but you can wait until morning, can't you?"

_Ribbit, ribbit._

_Ribbit, ribbit._

_Ribbit._

"Well," she said to Cloud and Barrett, "you're going to have to wait if I can't get the potions. Don't worry," she said, not really meaning it, "I'll make you a nice little pond in the sink at Mrs. Cranston's house. I'm sure she won't mind."

A sound that resembled a sob escaped Barrett-frog, a noise that sounded like a grumble came from Cloud-frog. Sephiroth-frog remained silent, looking pitifully up at Yuffie, as if to say, _"Please tell me you're joking."_

She laughed, "Just kidding, guys. I'll bang on the door of the shop if I have to, declaring a state of emergency. Besides, I don't know what Tifa would do to me if she found out that the father of her baby was a frog and I didn't do anything about it, and I tremble at the thought of Lucrecia's broomstick. I won't make you wait."

All three frogs kissed her hands repeatedly. Yuffie giggled; that tickled. Apparently this experience was humbling the guys just a tad. She thought about the story of the princess who kissed the frog and he turned into a prince. It was where they got the name "Maiden's Kiss" for the potion. How cute would _that_ be, if this were a fairy tale, and she could kiss Sephiroth and he'd turn back into his normal, handsome self? Then they would grab a chocobo, ride off to his castle in the sky, and live happily ever after surrounded by the patter of little feet. Of course, then where would Cloud and Barrett be? Frogs. Ah well, the whole true-love's-first-kiss thing wouldn't work anyway in real life.

The sun was setting. Yuffie really didn't want to be stuck out in the Junon wilderness in the middle of the night without pitching a tent, but she knew that her friends wouldn't be able to stand being frogs much longer. Looking in the distance toward Junon, Yuffie noticed something.

There were many different colored lights surrounding the entrance to Junon Village. Yuffie could spy some theme-park rides. Apparently a carnival was traveling through and stopped by Junon. Yuffie breathed a sigh of relief. No doubt there would be some sort of item booth in the carnival where they sold Maiden's Kiss.

"Hey, guys, there's a fair or something there," Yuffie said, "We'll get you fixed in no time..."

But then a chorus of desperate ribbits flew up and the three frogs started to hop up and down in Yuffie's hand. She stopped in her tracks and asked, "What's wrong? Are you scared?"

_Ribbit, ribbit._

Yuffie looked around. There weren't any enemies in sight. She spoke, "Then what's the matter? You don't want me to go to the fair? Wait..."

Yuffie realized what was wrong. They didn't want her to give away the fact that they were frogs. If she walked into Junon with three frogs, bought three Maiden's Kisses, and came out walking with three men, it would be kind of obvious.

"You don't want anyone to see you?" she finally said.

_Ribbit!_

_Ribbit!_

_Ribbit!_

"Okay, okay, I'll put you in my shoulder pouch. But _no_ fighting, is that understood?"

_Ribbit._

"That goes especially to you, Sephiroth and Cloud."

_Grrrr..._

"Hee, hee..." Yuffie grinned.

The fair was simply bustling with activity. Ever since the Destruction of Meteor, diversion of this kind was rare and much sought after. Fairs were fun and all, but Yuffie knew that there was no more time to waste. She found the item booth.

The merchant had seen many strange things traveling from here to there, but this was probably in his top ten list of strangest things. A young lady, of Wutai extract, had asked him for three Maiden's Kiss potions. When he told her the price, she started to rummage through her pouch. That wasn't the strange thing. The strange thing occurred when she actually started to talk into her shoulder pouch.

"Hey, quit that! I'm doing this for you, you know. Hey, I didn't _have_ to lug your stuff all the way here. If I didn't love you so much...If I didn't love _all_ you guys so much I wouldn't do this." She finally pulled about the required amount of Gil and handed it to the merchant.

Not wanting to question or furthermore have anything to do with this strange woman, the merchant handed Yuffie the potions and said, "Great doing business with you, miss..."

Mrs. Cranston was all too happy to put Yuffie up for the night. Yuffie had no choice but to explain the situation to her. After a good laugh, Mrs. Cranston stated that she understood perfectly and men will just be silly like that sometimes. She also recommended the purchase of three white capes before the group left Junon.

"All right..." Yuffie took each frog and placed them on a separate bed. Then she went from frog to frog, giving them the potion. Then she went to work, throwing off the Ultima Weapon and Masamune to the side.

The next thing Yuffie knew was being tackled and glomped furiously by the very grateful (and once again, human) Cloud and Barrett.

"You're the best, Yuffie!" Cloud was practically in tears.

"I'll never, ever call ya a brat again!" Barrett was kissing her hands.

"Well, okay..." Yuffie was shocked by all the attention and humility. She had thoroughly expected these two to cross their arms and spit something out like, "Well, it's about time!" Instead, they were extremely thankful. She looked over Cloud and Barrett's penitent forms to see Sephiroth standing perfectly still, with his hands behind his back. She smiled up at him and he smirked a little in response. He went over to his Masamune, picked it and the Ultima Weapon up, and put them in a corner.

By this time, Cloud and Barrett finished their acts of gratefulness and helped Yuffie up.

"How's your back, Yuffie?" Cloud asked.

"A little sore," Yuffie said, rubbing her lower back, "but I used my legs mostly to carry the weight. It's nothing a good night's sleep wouldn't cure."

Fortunately, Mrs. Cranston had a sofa that pulled out into a bed in her living room. Sephiroth volunteered to take it.

The next day, Yuffie got up. Her back was aching still, but it was nothing unbearable. She would just by a potion at the fair or something. The fair...Yuffie grinned and looked over at Cloud and Barrett, who were still asleep. She was willing to bet that Sephiroth had never had fun at a fair. She slowly crept out of bed and went into the living room, which adjoined the kitchen.

She found Sephiroth already awake and eating breakfast: his traditional cereal, toast, and glass of milk. He and Mrs. Cranston were becoming better acquainted. He had told her that his name was Tamrelan Roth, and Yuffie heard her address him as "Tamrelan". Yuffie thought the name sounded familiar, and Sephiroth would later tell her that Tamrelan was the name of the man who was General in SOLDIER before him.

Mrs. Cranston noticed Yuffie standing in the doorway and said, "Yuffie, may I interest you in some eggs and bacon? Your Mr. Tamrelan is one of pickiest eaters I've ever met. He absolutely _insisted_ on cereal and toast, though my breakfasts are famous..."

"That'd be nice, Mrs. Cranston, thank you," Yuffie smiled and sat down beside Sephiroth at the table. She talked to him, "She's got a point, Tamrelan. All you ever eat for breakfast is cereal and toast. Tifa fixed omelets, and you ate cereal and toast. Reeve made waffles, and you ate cereal and toast. Now you're passing up Mrs. Cranston's home cooking. What if there were no cereal and toast?"

"I'd starve," Sephiroth said plainly, taking another bite of toast dipped in milk, "However, I did eat some biscuits and bacon that Marlene brought me in the treehouse, but I was desperate."

"If I made you some biscuits and bacon again," Yuffie said, leaning over, "would you eat them?"

Sephiroth kept his eyes on his cereal bowl, and replied, "Maybe..."

"Hey, when we're done, do you want to go to the fair? It'll be fun."

Sephiroth blinked, "What?"

"You know, fun. That thing you have when you're enjoying yourself."

"I meant, you want to go to the fair?"

"Yes, that's why I'm asking," Yuffie laughed, "do _you_ want to go?"

"...I've never been to a fair. Not before last night, technically."

"But do you want to go? It's a simple yes or no question."

"...What about Cloud and Barrett?"

"They're still out."

Sephiroth thought for a moment, then said, "Sure, let's go."


	18. Break a Leg, Sephiroth

(Kit Thespian walks on, looks around)

Kit Thespian: Today, for our Disclaimer, we have my personal favorite Turk, Rude!

(Rude walks onstage)

Kit Thespian: All right, Rude. Do your stuff.

Rude: You see, it's uh… Well, it's like this… I…uh…

Kit Thespian: It's fairly simple, Rude. Just say I don't own Final Fantasy VII.

Rude: Kit… doesn't own.

Kit Thespian: And I'm not making money.

Rude: No…money…

Kit Thespian (grins): That's my Turk!

Rude: Whew. (walks off) Need a drink…

Chapter Eighteen- Break a Leg, Sephiroth

Only about ten minutes after Sephiroth and Yuffie left the house, Barrett and Cloud came shuffling into the kitchen, not fully aware of their friends' absence yet. After accepting an offer of breakfast from Mrs. Cranston, they both sat down at the table, rubbing the sleep out of their eyes and trying to wake up. Neither one of them were morning people and after their ordeal the day before, they were too tired to talk at the moment. Mrs. Cranston could see this and didn't speak until after she set their food before them and they started eating.

She sat down, and asked, with a big grin on her face, "How is Tifa?"

"She's fine," Cloud said, "She's pregnant."

"Oh, how wonderful! When is the baby due?"

"About six months," Cloud smirked, "she thinks it's a girl."

"How nice. So...how long have you two known Tamrelan?"

Barrett blinked, "Tamrelan?"

"You know, your friend."

It took a moment for the thought to click, but then Cloud slapped his forehead and said, "Oh! Yeah, sorry. I'm not a morning person... Um...I've known him...well...for several years actually."

"He's such a nice young man."

"Yeah, sure..."

"So..." Mrs. Cranston's grin got bigger, "how long have he and Yuffie being going out?"

Coincidentally, both Cloud and Barrett had been taking bites of their food when this question was asked. Their eyes became as wide as saucers and both got very funny looks on their faces. Barrett managed to keep his food from spitting out or being sucked into his throat, but Cloud began to cough violently. He took a sip of water to clean his throat before turning to the old woman with arched eyebrows.

"How long have they been _what_?" he asked. Barrett's jaw hung.

Mrs. Cranston was surprised at Cloud and Barrett's reactions, "Dating, of course."

"They...They're not dating!" Cloud said, not sounding quite sure of himself.

"Oh?" Mrs. Cranston spoke, "But they went on a date, just now."

"Where?" Cloud stood up.

"To the fair. Is something wrong?"

_At the fair…_

You saw all sorts of characters at a fair. Some respectable, some unsavory, and so you just tolerated any sort of person you saw and accepted it as a consequence of going to a carnival. I suppose this is the reason that not many people paid attention to the tall, silver-haired man in black armor walking next to the short Wutainese girl. Sephiroth and Yuffie just walked around for a little while. Although he was not a sociable sort, he was fascinated by all the activity. There was more than one instance when a vender would try to drag him aside to guess his weight or age. Considering a lot of people always thought that he was an eighteen-year-old boy, he would like to see them try.

Since their monetary resources were limited, the two narrowed down their activities to observation. However, there was one event that caught Yuffie's eye, and she tugged on Sephiroth's sleeve.

"S-Tamrelan," she had barely remembered to use his pseudonym, "let's go over there!"

"…To the theater?"

"Yeah! They have one of those at Gold Saucer. They always get some unlucky saps from the audience to participate. But it's a lot of fun! Let's go watch, please?"

"Okay."

The two approached the gate that led to the theater and Yuffie explained everything going on.

"They always use the same story, a fairy tale about some legendary hero or other. But it's a sweet story. Cloud and Tifa did it once. Cloud was the hero and Tifa was the princess. Tifa ended up punching Cloud's lights out on stage. He kept messing up the lines. When a wizard character asked him what he wanted to know, he said, 'the princess' measurements'."

Sephiroth had to chuckle at that, and the image of Cloud getting knocked in the head by his then-future-wife.

Yuffie laughed, "I think he was supposed to ask about a dragon king. Cloud always had a certain knack for getting himself into tr…"

"Congratulations!" A man standing at the theater gate called at the puzzled Sephiroth and Yuffie, "You are our fiftieth couple!"

Sephiroth blinked and looked at Yuffie. Yuffie's eyes widened and she muttered, "Uh-oh…"

_Meanwhile…_

"I don't see 'em anywhere!" Barrett stretched to his full height and looked around.

"If anything happens to her, he's going to be mincemeat!" Cloud's fists were clenched.

"Calm down, man. I'm sure they're okay. What _I_ don't get is why Sephiroth would wanna go to a fair. He don't strike me as the type ta wanna go into the 'Tunnel of Love'."

"Think we should look there?" Cloud asked, in all seriousness.

Barrett shook his head, "You need a _serious_ chill-pill. I doubt the thought even crossed his mind. He probably wouldn't know what a 'Tunnel of Love' is." Barrett heard some familiar, cornymusic and looked over towards the theater, "Hey, Cloud, look at that. Didn't you an' Tifa do somethin' like that?"

Cloud glanced at the theater and answered, "Yeah, we did…" Then he narrowed his eyes and gazed harder at the spectacle, "What…? No," a horrified, then amused expression formed on his features, "it can't be!"

"What?"

_At the theater…_

"I can't _believe_ I let you talk me into this." Sephiroth groaned while he and Yuffie were still backstage.

"Come on, it'll be fun!" Yuffie was slipping into the royal robe that the actors provided for her, "I've always wanted to do something like this!"

"You've always wanted to be publicly humiliated?"

"It won't be humiliating!"

"I believe I heard you refer to people who participate in this as 'unlucky saps.'"

"Come on! Where's your sense of adventure? Haven't you always wanted to be in a fairy tale?"

"No."

"Alfred!" the director walked onto the backstage area, "Legendary Hero Alfred! It's almost stage time! Put on your cloak!"

Sephiroth groaned and slipped on the green, fake-velvet cloak. The thing smelled like mothballs. If Yuffie hadn't have had that pitiful look on her face when he first refused to participate, this wouldn't have to happen. Now he had to go onstage, and improvise lines based on what the actors were feeding him. Being in Shinra, Sephiroth was good at improvisation, but performing before a live audience had never been one of his goals in life.

But, who knows? This could be fun, as long as Yuffie didn't punch his lights out. And she could too, though he would be the last to admit it. A stagehand rushed to Sephiroth and handed him a prop sword, sheath, and belt.

"Here, put this on!" she breathlessly said.

Sephiroth looked at the toy weapon. It was about two and half feet long, and made of chipped gray plastic. Yuffie was still standing nearby. He said to her, holding back a smile,

"This is the single most pathetic piece of weaponry that my eyes have ever had the misery to look upon."

Yuffie giggled. Then she said, "You need help getting it on?"

"No, I've got it," Sephiroth said, his chin touching his chest as he did his best to adjust the primitive belt onto his waist. He murmured, loud enough for Yuffie to hear, "If it were anyone but you, I wouldn't do this."

"I know," Yuffie said, a little more seriously. Sephiroth glanced at her to meet her brown eyes locking onto his.

The next thing he knew, the stage manager was pushing him onstage. He used every milligram of calm demeanor left in his brain at this moment to appearconfident. He emerged onstage to extremely bright lights (which really weren't needed considering it was mid morning) and applause from the audience below.

The narrator, a man backstage with a microphone and booming voice, began his job, "Behold, the legendary hero Alfred!"

The applause grew louder. Sephiroth stood as still as a stone at center stage. Then a man dressed like a knight came dramatically twirling out like an intoxicated ballerina. He stopped right next to Sephiroth and said, "Oh, you must be the legendary hero Alfred!"

Sephiroth had always thought that stating the obvious was a boorish endeavor to get attention, but he played along, "Yes, I am."

"Oh, great legendary hero Alfred, we must have your help! Our princess has been abducted! You must speak with the king!"

The knight spun aside and a man dressed like an old king came onstage and approached Sephiroth, "Oh, great legendary hero Alfred…" Sephiroth resisted the urge to roll his eyes, "…you must assist us in our time of need! Princess Rosa has been kidnapped by the Evil Dragon King!"

_Meanwhile…_

Cloud and Barrett ran to the theater to find Cloud's suspicions confirmed. Sephiroth was onstage playing Alfred. Since they now knew the whereabouts of their friends, Cloud and Barrett forgot their anxiety for the hilarity of the situation.

"Hee, hee," Cloud maliciously chortled, "Now we get to watch him suffer."

"I wonder what kind of a princess Yuffie's gonna make."

_Onstage…_

"Will you help us, oh great legendary hero Alfred?" the king pleaded.

"…Yes," Sephiroth said, just wanting to get his over and done with.

"You must consult the wizard!"

The wizard came onstage and stood aside. Sephiroth knew that he was supposed to go to him. But while he was making the transition, his plastic belt became undone and the sword cluttered onto the stage. There was laughter abounding, and Sephiroth winced. He was afraid of something like this.

But, Sephiroth was not a General for nothing. In a moment of quick thinking, instead of picking up the sword, he kicked it to the side of the stage, and addressed the audience.

"I need no weapon!"

The moment of dramatic boldness inspired a lot of "Ooohs" and some applause from the audience. Sephiroth smirked and finished walking to the wizard.

The wizard spoke, "What is it you wish to know, oh great legendar…"

"I wish to know where the princess is," Sephiroth interrupted, quite fed up with all this legendary hero nonsense.

The narrator's voice boomed, "Oh, look! The Evil Dragon King, and he has the beautiful Princess Rosa!"

From what he could tell, Sephiroth thought he was looking at a person dressed in a green felt dragon suit carrying Yuffie entering onstage. He blinked and the image was the same. He couldn't believe how silly this all was. Yuffie looked like she faking distress.

"Hoo, hoo!" the dragon person laughed, "You dare to ignore the Evil Dragon King?"

"Yes…" Sephiroth said with a sneer. The audience laughed.

"Oh, no!" the king exclaimed, "He has the princess captive!"

"Save me. Alfred!" Yuffie exclaimed, holding her arms out, "Save me!"

"You will never have the princess, legendary hero Alfred," the dragon growled, "Har, har, har! You will never defeat me in battle!"

"You must fight him, oh great legendary hero Alfred!" the knight exclaimed.

"Yes, a battle must take place!" the wizard said. Sephiroth was beginning to wonder just how many times the word "must" was going to be used in this production.

"You must help my daughter!" the king wailed.

"So, it comes to this," the narrator said, "who will win. Will our hero triumph, or meet his doom?"

"You will never defeat me!" the Evil Dragon King shouted, "I am invincible! I always triumph! I shall feed your bones to my minions! I will…!"

_Wham!_

There was a dead silence in the audience as they gaped at what they just saw. With one fell swoop, the great legendary hero Alfred had punched the Evil Dragon King out cold. After a couple of cricket chirps, the audience applauded enthusiastically.

The actors onstage were a little horrified, considering that one of their own was in the dragon suit, and a woman at that. But the wizard managed to collect his wits and he spoke.

"Oh, great legendary hero Alfred! You have vanquished the Evil Dragon King! Let praises ring throughout the land!"

"Come!" the king went to Yuffie, took her hands, and placed them in Sephiroth's, "In my gratitude, I give you my daughter's hand in marriage!"

There were a few people in the audience who had had a little too much to tipple (and it was only morning). One of them, a young man, jumped up and shouted, "Kiss her, Alfred!"

The rest of the crowd started to chant, "Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!"

Sephiroth and Yuffie looked at the audience with shocked expressions. The chanting did not cease. Yuffie then got a big grin on her face, faced Sephiroth, and closed her eyes. Of course, Sephiroth was a little embarrassed to do anything at first.

After a second, Yuffie whispered to him, sounding a little disappointed, "It's okay; you can just give me a little peck on the cheek, that's all." Then she presented her cheek.

Sephiroth did not enjoy hearing disappointment in Yuffie's voice. He had never kissed a woman before, but there was a time and place for everything. Yuffie wanteda fairy tale; she was about to get it.

"Your Majesty," he said to the actor king, "I accept!"

Then he grabbed Yuffie, who gasped in surprise, dipped her, and kissed her fully on the lips. The applause grew thunderous. In the midst of his revelry, Sephiroth thought he heard a very unmanly shriek emerging from the back of the audience, but right now it could have been just his imagination. He was enjoying this new sensation.

He kissed her for longer than he intended to, apparently, because the knight tapped him on the shoulder saying that he could quit now. Sephiroth promptly informed him that he could mind his own business, and then he went back to his activity. The crowd was still cheering.

Blood rushed into both his and Yuffie's faces. Sephiroth had always wondered what all the fuss was about concerning touching one's lips to someone else's. Now he knew. It was quite exciting.

But, enough of all this. Sephirothreleased Yuffie's lips, then picked her up, and ran off the stage. The musicians played wedding music.

The narrator, somewhat helplessly, declared, "And they lived happily ever after! The End!"

The audience applauded and some even threw gold coins on the stage.

In case you were wondering, the rather unmanly screech in the back of the audience had emerged from Cloud. He would never have suspected that Sephiroth would do this, but it filled him with disgust that his friend was being taken advantage of by the former meglomaniac. He tried to go to the stage to stop the whole thing, but a couple of drunken audience members who were enjoying the show grabbed him and held him down. Barrett was in too much of a shock to do anything. By the time the drunks released Cloud, Sephiroth had already fled the stage with Yuffie.

"He's run off with her!" Cloud yelped. Barrett thought that Cloud was overreacting just a _little_ bit, but he followed Cloud as the blond warrior made a mad dash out of the theater. Cloud was certain that they were fleeing the carnival.

Sephiroth and Yuffie, in fact, had only gone behind the theater after casting off their theatrical cloak and dress. The theater was sitting on the border of the carnival, and there was only the open Junon wilderness behind it. Sephiroth had never been so relieved to get out of a place. He would vow never to do that again. The next time one of these "theaters" came along, he and Yuffie would enter separately to avoid looking like a couple. Yuffie was in something of a fluster.

"Wow…" she said, looking a little starry-eyed after he placed her back on her feet, "You're a good kisser…"

"Thank you," he absently replied. He was busy looking around to see if any of the actors were coming after him for punching out the "Evil Dragon King."

Yuffie said, "Oh, I see… You were just acting along with the audience, I get it."

Sephiroth jerked his head, "No! I mean, yes…I mean, no…I mean… I don't know what I mean."

"You're stuttering," Yuffie smiled.

Sephiroth was going to say "I am not!" but it came out sounding like, "I…I…I…"

"It's okay," Yuffie said, "it was _my_ first kiss too."

"Now, how do you know that that was my first kiss?"

"I don't know; was it?"

"…Yes."

"Then, all right! It's nothing to be embarrassed about." She walked to him with her hands clasped behind her back, and said, "You…wouldn't want to do it again, would you? Without a public audience? There's nobody here."

Sephiroth averted his eyes, "Well…"

"Just a _little_ kiss. It couldn't hurt." And she closed her eyes.

"_You won't take no for an answer, will you?"_ Sephiroth smirked. And, wonder of wonders, a moment later he was leaning in to kiss her again, a little less roughly than onstage. Yuffie wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer.

"Unhand her, you silver-haired monstrous excuse for a human being!"

It wasn't so much the insults (which were rather lame, admittedly) as the interruption that caused Sephiroth to unleash his glare of doom on Cloud. He had just about had it with this moron's interferences. Cloud was a little perturbed by the glare, though not much. But Yuffie retaliated before he could.

"Cloud!" she snapped, "Why don't you keep your pokey head out of our business?"

Barrett emerged from around the corner and said, "What's going on?"

Sephiroth, Yuffie, and Cloud all opened their mouths to issue a response when a calm, cool voice spoke up.

"Correct me if I'm wrong," it said, "But do I know you?"

Sephiroth looked to find a red, wolf-like creature standing not afar off. He recognized this animal from somewhere, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. The fact alone that the animal talked was amazing. But its eye (it only had one) was full of intelligence and wisdom. And it was speaking to him right now. A moment later, he realized that this wasthe same creature that came with AVALANCHE into the crater. He was amazed that it didn't have a panic attack like the others at first sight of him.

"Red!" Yuffie exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"

"Wandering about," Red XIII calmly replied, "But my question has not been answered. Young man," he addressed Sephiroth, "you bear a striking resemblance to the General Sephiroth."

"Probably cuz he _is_ Sephiroth," Barrett said, rolling his eyes at the whole situation.

Red blinked. He had truly not been expected an answer like _that_, "I do not understand."

"He came back to life," Yuffie said, "And he's on our side, I promise!"

"…This doesn't make any sense," Red commented, looking quite bewildered.

"And a talking animal _does_?" Sephiroth said.

"Sephiroth!" Yuffie scolded, "That's rude!"

"Sorry."

"Let me see if I get this straight," Red spoke to Cloud and Barrett, still looking very wary of Sephiroth (who could blame him?), "_He's_ alive, on the good side, still dressed in his armor, in your company, and to top it off, in a relationship with Yuffie?"

"Dat's pretty much it," Barrett said. Sephiroth, amazingly, did not object. There really seemed no point anymore. Yuffie turned red as a beet.

"You _saw_ it?" Yuffie asked, with her hands on her face. She had a good deal of respect and admiration for Red, and it meant more to her that he had caught her and Sephiroth in an intimate act. Being caught by Cloud or Barrett was like being seen by a brother or a friend, but being seen by Red was like being caught by a teacher or a parent.

"I was only passing by," Red replied, "but it was hard to miss. So," he approached Sephiroth cautiously and sniffed him, "what is your intent here?"

Sephiroth answered as best he could to the creature, "To live."

"To live…" Red cocked his head, "That is my intent as well." He turned to Cloud and Barrett, "But is your _business_ here, I mean?"

Cloud went on to explain the bounty hunter job, and how they had a little accident in the woods and had to come into Junon for the night. When asked what the nature of this "accident" was, Cloud said that they were not properly equipped.

Yuffie muttered low enough that the men wouldn't hear, but that Red would, "They were turned to frogs…"

Sephiroth _could_ hear it, however, but it he kept his mouth shut. There was something like a smirk on Red XIII's face, but he held his peace as well. He was still astounded by it all. He looked at Sephiroth, at the man's eyes, and did not see the same evil glint that had been there before. Perhaps he should give him a chance; the others had, apparently.

"Well," he said, looking back and forth amongst the group, "it seems you tolerate each other's company."

"Yeah, it's all good," Barrett said.

But Cloud was still a little steamed, "As long as a certain so-in-so keeps his claws off of one of my best friends…"

"Cloud!" Yuffie stomped her foot, "Stop it!"

Sephiroth could really care less about how Cloud felt about all of this, but it he didn't want Yuffie to be grieved. Since this Red seemed to be a peace-keeping, wise sort, it might be a good idea to keep him in the group. Barrett had the same idea.

"So, Red," Barrett said, "Why don't you stick around? You can help us hunt, you know." He thought that Red could also help them keep Sephiroth and Cloud from each other's throats, and maybe that Red's presence may make Yuffie a little more aware of her modesty. It had already had such an effect.

Red wanted to keep his eye on Sephiroth, so he consented.


	19. Seek And Ye Shall Find

(Enter Sephiroth, Cloud, and Yuffie)

Sephiroth: Is she there? I heard she's back from "Human Monster".

Yuffie: If it's true, our vacation is sunk.

(Enter Kit Thespian)

Kit Thespian: Hey, guys! Back to work!

Cloud (groans): We're sunk!

Kit Thespian: What's the matter?

Cloud: Our vacation's ruined!

Kit Thespian: Hey, the public has spoken! They demand a new chapter. Let's face it; they love you!

Yuffie: They do?

Kit Thespian: Yeah! Look at the reviews! Two hundred and sixty-nine reviews!

Cloud: That many?

Kit Thespian: You're my most popular story. Therefore...(gets evil grin) you must do another chapter. And therefore...

Sephiroth: Oh, no!

Yuffie: Not again!

Cloud: Say it isn't so!

(Kit Thespian nods)

Sephiroth: I'm not doing it!

Yuffie: Not me!

Cloud: Nope!

Kit Thespian: Hey, one of you has to do it. Do it, or...(raises fingers to snap them)

Cloud (rapidly): Kit-Thespian-does-not-own-Final-Fantasy-VII-or-the-characters-therein-and-she-is-not-making-money-off-of-this!

Kit Thespian: Very good.

Cloud (sighs): Whew!

Chapter Nineteen- Seek And Ye Shall Find

"...What a strange tale." Red XIII's reaction to Sephiroth's side of the story since his resurrection was similar to the one that he gave when Cloud told his side of what happened in Nibelheim. He was calm and cool, the only great reaction he would give would be a slight widening of his eyes. But Sephiroth could tell that there were much more emotion in the creature's gaze than he was letting show on his face.

Red spoke to Yuffie, "You threatened him with a feather duster?"

"Hey, I didn't have my Conformer at the time. It's a good thing I didn't though..." Then she caught herself and started to turn red when the others stared at her, "I mean...! Sephiroth's been a great friend, and he saved my life. And he's made his mother so happy."

"Ah, yes, Lucrecia..." Red murmured, "It's interesting that she's alive as well."

"Yeah, it was a pretty big shock," Cloud said.

"Very interesting..." Red trailed off and didn't say anymore on the subject. Then he raised his head and sniffed the air, "There are hostile creatures nearby." And the conversation ended so they could defeat the monsters. Nothing more of Lucrecia was mentioned for a while.

They were camped out near Fort Condor now, and the journey was very civil (as far as friendly relations went in the group) thanks to Red XIII's presence. After purchasing white capes for all the males including Red, they had left Junon, continuing their trek to search for the monsters. Cloud just hoped that they weren't going to get called to Nibelheim or Rocket Town or Cosmo Canyon or some such place on the West Continent. That would make their time from home a lot longer than they anticipated, though Red wouldn't mind seeing his hometown again. Barrett mentioned that he wonder how Corel was doing these days.

With Red's watchful eye on her, Yuffie didn't flirt with Sephiroth as much as she would have. And Sephiroth had the wisdom to gather that her behavior was out of respect for the wolf-like creature. He decided that he had told enough of _his_ story; he wanted to hear Red's. The main reason was he recognized the style of tattoo that Red donned on one of his shoulder blades. He recognized it from the clones in the visions that Jenova showed him.

It was late at night, and Red had the early night watch that evening to make sure they were not attacked by monsters in their sleep. He would later wake up Sephiroth to take over his duties. But the former General was already awake.

He whispered, "Red, may I ask you something?"

"Of course..." Red blinked, wondering what Sephiroth could possibly wish to ask him.

"...Why do you have a 'XIII' tattoo? Where did you get it?" Sephiroth already knew the answer in the back of his mind, but wanted to know for sure.

Red looked very grieved for a moment before recovering his composure and answered, "From Professor Hojo."

"I thought so."

"Than why did you ask?"

"I wanted to hear it from your lips. What did he do to you?"

"...I suppose the chief evils he committed against me were keeping me imprisoned from the open air, permanently marking my body, and trying to mate me with a human girl with Ancient blood. However, I doubt that he was serious about that last one."

"What do you mean?"

"Hojo was a scientist. Perhaps not the best, but a scientist all the same. Every scientist knows that mating a humanoid and a quadriped is impossible. The chromosomes are incapatible. I learned these things at Cosmo Canyon. Though he obviously intended for me to do harm to the girl, I don't think he really expected scientfic results. He hated her, for some reason, and her parents too. He muttered something about it to himself in the labwhen he didn't know that I could understand him."

"He wanted you to rape the Ancient girl?"

"She had a name; it was Aeris."

"Very well, then; Aeris."

"She was the kindest, most innocent person I have ever met."

"I never met her." Sephiroththen realized something, "You know I didn't kill her, don't you? I don't wish to be in your company and have you think that of me." Sephiroth had little feelings towards the deceased Cetra, but he could tell by speaking with Red that he had cared for her very much. And the former General was starting to think of Red XIII as a good friend; he didn't want that to end.

Red nodded solemnly, "I know you did not. There was precious little any of us could do against Jenova's power, including you. And we learned more in that wretched crater than we ever wished to know. Tell, me, was anything ever not a shadow of you and a pawn of Jenova?"

"...No... Except for when you fought me in the crater, but I really do not remember that very well."

"How do you go about forgetting something like that?" But Red guessed that in the depths of insanity, Sephiroth was not in control of his actions, much less his memory. Sephiroth shrugged in reaction. Red spoke, "Well, it was really something. You transformed into this giant beast with two heads, enormous wings, and a core for energy. After we proved too strong for that form of you, you changed form again. It was your human torso and head, but your right arm was a multicolored wing, and instead of legs, you had six enormous wings. You were flying in the air, out of range for me, Cloud, Tifa, Cid, and Cait Sith. And you put up a Wall to deflect those of us who possessed long-range weapons. You were changing us into frogs and mini men almost as fast as we could deal out the Remedies."

"...How did you beat me?" Sephiroth was actually curious. He knew that it was AVALANCHE who had defeated him, but the details were extremely vague. Red smirked a little at the child-like curiosity in Sephiroth's mako eyes.

"Well," Red continued, "even in your insanity, you despised Cloud Strife the most. You paid the most attention to him, though that doesn't mean that you didn't wallop one of us every once in a while. I don't know how long we fought you; it was probably hours, even a whole day. Tifa and I were hard-pressed to keep the Restore materia working and healing. But Cid had a Destruct materia, which deactivated the protective shield around you. And finally, when you weren't looking, Yuffie hurled her Conformer at your head and glanced you on the forehead. It was the first time any of us were able to deal a direct blow to your top half. You screeched in agony and lowered yourself enough for the rest of us to attack..."

"And? And?"

"You _want_ to hear about how you met your horrific demise?"

"...It hardly matters now, doesn't it?"

"All right. Cid got to you first and stabbed you in the chest with his spear, then Cloud chopped at one of your wings. Barrett had reloaded his gun arm and took a jab at your right arm wing. And I went for your throat."

"And that's how I died?"

"That's the long and short of it. I'm sorry you missed it."

"Wait...are you telling me that it was Yuffie who dealt the deadly blow that made my killing possible?"

"Yes."

"That's odd; she's never mentioned it."

"That is hardly something that would come up in casual conversation; especially if you two in a relationship. The fact that one of you aided in killing the other is not very romantic."

"That _would_ be awkward."

"Awkward? In some places it could be considered an act of war."

"...Well, I had it coming."

"The Planet apparently thought you were deserving of a second chance."

"...Apparently so."

"Which brings me to something that I was wondering earlier: Your mother Lucrecia has also been allowed a second chance. Why would the Planet bring _her_ back?"

"I don't know, pity?"

"Perhaps."

Red didn't say anything else, but he wondered in his mind, who else could have possibly been brought back?

_Back in Kalm..._

Vincent was surprised to find Cid hiding in a hallway closet when he opened the door to get out his red cloak. Cid put a finger to his lips to shush any question that Vincent may have had.

"We're playing hide and seek," the pilot whispered, with a little irritation in his voice.

Vincent asked flatly, "_You_ are playing hide and seek?"

"Shera made me do it, okay?" Cid did not mention the fact that he could not resist Marlene's wide and pleading little eyes, "Don't say where I am."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Vincent took out his cloak and closed the closet door. He put on his cloak and walked outside. He thought he would take a walk to the seashore. It was nice and quiet over there. He had told Tifa not to wait up for him. He didn't bother looking for Lucrecia; she was playing hide and seek as well. It was just as well.

He closed the front door just as he heard Marlene proclaim, "One hundred! Ready or not, here I come!"

Someone standing behind a street corner watched the cloaked man leave town. The figure couldn't believe his eyes. That troublesome Turk was still alive. No matter; the man did not have business with Vincent Valentine at this moment, though he would like a few words with him later. The stranger headed for the house where he had heard Cloud Strife was living.

Shinra was gone; everything he had ever known was gone. The only man who could possibly have an answer would be the very one who had defeated Sephiroth, Cloud Strife. But knowing the dense nature of the blond warrior, the stranger had little hopes of gaining muchinformation out of him. Vincent would probably know more. The figure sighed, a little in depression and a little in amusement. There would be no warm welcome for him, anywhere.

Strife's house qualified for mansion status. There were several rooms, and no doubt there was a basement. The stranger was not sure whether or not he should go knock on the door. No, that would be ridiculous. They would push a butter knife into his stomach at first sight of him. He had to be cautious. He moved around the side of the house. He had never been to Kalm before, so very few people there would recognize him, if any. But there was more than one person who gave him a suspicious look before going on his or her way.

But as he moved around to the backyard of the house, he was surprised to see one of his old colleagues, Reeve, hiding behind a bush. What on earth was he doing here, behind a shrubbery no less? He would have thought that Reeve died in the destruction of Midgar.

Oblivious to the figure's presence at first, Reeve snickered and murmured outloud to himself, "She'll never think to look here..."

The stranger quietly sneaked behind Reeve and stood there for a couple of moments. He knew Reeve's alert nature; the man could always tell if someone were standing behind him, staring at him. And Reeve did turn around. When he saw the figure, he yelped in shock.

"You! It _can't_ be! You're dead!"

The stranger said nothing but stood there. He expected no less from Reeve.

"You stay away from me!" Reeve got up and ran towards the house, "Just get out of here, or I'll shoot you!"

Marlene came out of the house and pointed at Reeve, laughing, "Found you!"

"Never mind that, Marlene!" Reeve shouted, "Get in the house! Now!"

"What? What's wrong...?"

"Get inside!" Reeve shooed the little girl through the back door and once again wagged a finger at the stranger's direction, "You just stay away!" And he slammed the door shut.

The stranger smirked, "A pleasure to see you as well, Mr. Reeve."


	20. Pitiful Creature of Darkness

(Kit Thespian enters the stage)

Kit Thespian (singing to herself): It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, won't you be my neighbor? Hee hee, hee hee...

(Sephiroth and Cloud peek in at the author, and look at each other)

Cloud: She's cracked.

Kit Thespian (skipping around): ...the priest all shaven and shorn, that married the young man all tattered and torn, that kissed the maid all forlorn, that milked the cow with the crumpled horn, that tossed the dog, that chased the cat, that killed the rat, that ate the malt which lay in the house that Jack built!

Sephiroth: ...What?

Kit Thespian: London bridge is falling down...

Sephiroth: Kit...

Kit Thespian: Falling down!

Sephiroth: Kit...

Kit Thespian: Falling down!

Sephiroth: _Kit!_

Kit Thespian: Yes?

Sephiroth: What is _wrong_ with you?

Kit Thespian (grinning madly): Nothing's wrong with me! There's nothing like a good cup of coffee in the morning! With lots of cream and sugar!

Cloud: Coffee?

Kit Thespian: And a caramel frap in the afternoon...

Cloud: ...Uh-oh.

Kit Thespian: With CHOCOLATE!

Sephiroth: She's _high_.

Cloud: What're we going to do?

Kit Thespian: Look at me! I'm an airplane! (spreads arms and starts running around) WHEEEEEEE!

Sephiroth: Nothing.

Cloud: Nothing?

Sephiroth: What goes up... (Kit Thespian passes out) must come down.

Cloud: Eep.

(Kit Thespian wakes up with a mega caffeine hangover)

Kit Thespian: Sheesh, what happened?

Cloud (to Sephiroth): Does she really want to know?

Sephiroth: ...Let's not tell her.

Cloud: Let's not.

**Disclaimer:** Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making money off of this.

Chapter Twenty- Pitiful Creature of Darkness

In odd situations, it's best to keep one's calm. However, calm was the furthest thing from Reeve's mind as he rushed Marlene into the house and closed the door behind him. He frantically called out for Lucrecia, who was hiding in the kitchen. She came out into the living room, with a bewildered look on her face.

"Reeve, what on earth...?" She didn't get to finish her question.

"No questions, Lucrecia! Hide in the basement! Quickly, and take Marlene with you!"

Lucrecia was too shocked to speak, and she obeyed Reeve's orders, wondering what the problem was. She hadn't seen Reeve in such a state before. By now, Tifa, Cid, and Shera heard the commotion and had emerged from their hiding places to convene in the living room.

"Reeve, what the -_bleep's_- going on?" Cid asked, brushing the dust from the closet off of his clothes.

Reeve pointed over his shoulder towards the backyard, "It's Hojo! He's alive and he's _here_!"

"What!" Tifa gasped.

"Hojo?" Shera had never met the man before.

"The freak that worked for Shinra?" Cid's eyes were wide as saucers, "What's he doing here?"

"He just appeared out of nowhere!" Reeve exclaimed, "I don't know what he wants, but we can't let him see Lucrecia. She and Marlene are in the basement, but..."

A _knock knock knock_ came to the back door. All four adults drew in their breath and looked towards the closed door. Cid had never wished before in all of his life that Cloud and Sephiroth and Barrett were there. But, it seemed like he was the only one with strength enough to take advantage of the situation, considering Reeve's apparent phobia. Cid didn't have a lot of experience with the strange scientist, but from what he had seen, Hojo was a force to be reckoned with, as frail as he was.

_"Where's that -**bleep**- psychotic vampire wanna-be when you need him?"_ Cid thought.

Cid inched towards the door, and Tifa spoke, "You're not going to let him in, are you?"

"He'll kill us!" Reeve blurted.

"Shera," Cid said, ignoring both of the previous statements, "go get the Venus Gospel, just in case. Tifa, Reeve, we can't leave him outside. Whatever he wants, I want to know what it is from his own lips. And besides, if he tries anything, I'm sure that you and I can take him." He thought, "_Personally, I'd like to see Lucrecia get at him with that broomstick, **and** step on his foot._"

The knocking persisted, but the rappings were moderate. With all of his crazy attributes, Hojo seemed to be a patient type. As soon as Shera hurried back in with Cid's spear and placed it in his hand, Cid put his other hand on the doorknob, turned it, and slowly opened the door.

It was Hojo, all right, standing as stoic as he always was, with his hands clasped behind his back. He still had his white labcoat, and his long, black hair was still tied back with the wild bangs hanging in front of his face. The yellow eyes behind the glasses scanned the living room and its inhabitants. There was a long silence as one party waited for the other to say something, _anything_.

Hojo was first, "Good afternoon." His smooth voice sent chills up Cid's spine.

"Good afternoon," Cid tried to sound polite.

"...Won't you come in and...sit down?" Shera said, not liking the look of this strange man at all, but going through with her invitation anyway.

Hojo eyed the Venus Gospel for a moment before stepping over the threshhold. Tifa and Reeve both stepped back when he entered, never taking their wary eyes off of him. Hojo didn't mind their stares, but simply went to the second couch, the one that faced the back door, and settled onto it. The way his back was hunched made him have to raise his head to look towards the others.The other four manuvered their way towards the other couch and sat down. There was another heavy silence before Hojo addressed Tifa.

"Miss Lockheart..." he said.

"That's 'Mrs. Strife'," Cid grumbled.

Hojo turned an annoyed glance at the pilot and said, "My apologies." Then he turned back to Tifa, "Mrs. Strife, is the man of the house here?" He said "man" in such a way as to indicate some sort of derisive meaning towards Cid and Reeve. They both caught it and grimaced at the scientist, but didn't say anything.

Tifa answered, trying to keep her cool, "Cloud isn't home, but he should be back any time now," even though she really had no idea when Cloud was coming back with the hunting party. There seemed to be a silent pact amongst the four not to say a word about Sephiroth. Shera knew enough about _that_, anyway.

"Hmm..." Hojo eyes wandered down towards the floor and something caught his eye, but only for a moment. He then looked back up at his hosts and spoke, "Aren't you in the least bit curious as to why I am here?"

"We _were_ wondering..." Reeve said.

"I do hate to disappoint you, but I am afraid I am quite at a loss as well. As to why I am alive, that is," his eyes strayed down towards the floor again, and then looked at Cid, "I suppose there must be a reason. The dead do not return without a cause, if they have ever returned before..."

Reeve couldn't contain himself anymore. He had gotten over his initial shock and had something to say to Hojo, "I don't see why the Planet thinks that _you_ deserve a second chance, Hojo. Do you know what I think you are? A despicable piece of sewer scum that should be crushed to a bleeding pulp! And you _were_, dangit! Why couldn't you just stay that way?"

Hojo smirked, "I've heard worse."

"From your test subjects, no doubt."

"Actually..." Hojo took his glasses off and rubbed them against his lab coat, "from Vincent Valentine. I saw him leaving this house earlier on. When he awakened from my experiment on him, he called me a..." Tifa's jaw dropped and Shera gasped, "so I called him..." Even Cid turned red with shame. Not even a -_bleep_- would hide the atrocity of the words if I put them down.

"Not that we both used such language on a day-to-day basis," Hojo continued, "But that was a most trying moment."

"I'll bet..." Cid swallowed. It's a shame Lucrecia wasn't in there. She would never scold him for using dirty language _again_. That's when Cid wondered what on earth they were going to do about Lucrecia, and Hojo. This situation was worse than when they found Sephiroth in the house. Hojo had shown no signs so far of repenting for his past sins, and had shown no fear of being harmed.

"I _am_ curious, though..." Hojo said, "If anyone else has been resurrected."

"What do you mean?" Tifa asked.

"...Sephiroth, perchance?"

"We haven't seen him," said Cid.

"No?" Hojo said.

"No."

"...Pity. I had wanted to see him."

"So you could perform more tests on him?" Tifa sneered.

"I don't know what you mean."

"We all know what you did to him when he was a child."

Hojo blinked and leaned forward, "And what exactly did I do to him?"

"You know!" Reeve snapped.

"But what do _you_ know?"

There was a brief silence. Hojo sat patiently for them to collect their words.

Reeve finally stuttered out, "You...did experiments on him when he was a child...didn't you?"

"If you are referring to the injection we gave his mother when he was _in utero_, yes."

"I mean the other stuff."

"What other stuff?"

"You know what I'm talking about!"

"I haven't the slightest idea."

"I mean the lab stuff. The..." The reason why Reeve was hesitant with his words was that he truly didn't know what he was saying.

Hojo said, "Are you talking about the treatments he received during childhood?"

"Yes, that!"

"I had nothing to do with that."

"What do you mean, you had nothing to do with that?" Tifa said, "Weren't you the head of Shinra's department of development and research?"

Hojo wagged a patronizing finger, "Speak not of what you _know_ not. Yes, I was, but not until Sephiroth was eleven... So, you haven't seen or heard from him?"

"No," Tifa answered.

"Funny, what's this?" Hojo reached down underneath the couch and pulled out a towel.

Weeks before, Yuffie had given Sephiroth a haircut. But apparently he was too manly to want to mention to anyone that she had done so, and Yuffie's injuries from being mugged had occupied her so that she completely forgot about the towel that she had stuffed underneath the couch. The towel had Sephiroth's excess hair strewn about it. Some of the hair had fallen on the floor as well and got stuck on the couch. Hojo had noticed the towel poking out from underneath the couch when he first came in, and soon after had noticed a three-inch-long silver hair on the floor, sticking out against the dark wood.

No one knew about the haircut except for Sephiroth and Yuffie, so when Hojo pulled the towel from underneath the sofa, none of the others thought anything of it, until Hojo picked out a few hairs from the cloth. He held them up, and the expression on his face grew from strained politeness to suppressed anger.

"You know..." he said, watching the shocked looks on his hosts' faces, "there are not many people who have hair of this color; silver with a slightly blue highlight to it. In fact, I know only of one."

"Where...did that come from?" Reeve said, knowing there would be no talking out of this one. Hojo was too smart for that.

"Sephiroth has been here, hasn't he?" Hojo asked.

"Why should we tell you?" Cid asked.

Hojo raised an angry eyebrow, "Because he's my son."

"So that matters to you _now_?"

"You know nothing about it so stop making your ignorant assumptions, you _moron_!" Hojo growled, his face turning red, "Tell me where he is!"

"Or what?" Cid stood up.

Hojo stood up and was (judging by the enraged look on his face) probably about to spew out a string of even more horrible curse words than he had quoted earlier on in the conversation, but then he fell the floor unconscious. The reason for this was that Lucrecia had emerged from the hallway, and she broke the Nail Bat, which had been stored in the basement, over his head. But since the end with the nail had not been the end that smote the scientist, he simply collapsed out cold. The broken piece of the Nail Bat fell on the couch.

There was a brief silence, before Tifa said, her voice shaky, "You know, Cloud always thought that would come in handy some day."

But Lucrecia's next statement shocked them as she rushed to Hojo's side, "Oh, dear, did I hurt him very badly?"

Cid walked to Hojo's crumpled form and stared down at it. Hojo really was a pitiful excuse for a human being. Lucrecia gasped as she ran her fingers over his torso, the labcoat sinking against a dangerously skinny form.

"What has he done to himself?" there was a sob in her voice. She rolled him over so she could get a good look at his face. Cid had to note that Hojo didn't look nearly so unpleasant when he didn't have his seemingly ever-present scowl or sneer on his face. In fact, he didn't look that old, but his face was so dreadfully thin, and there were lines under his eyes. Lucrecia pulled Hojo on to her lap, and then looked up at Cid with tears and fright in her eyes.

"What are you going to do with him?" she asked.

Eviscerating him and throwing him into a ditch would have Cid's response two minutes ago. But that was when he thought that Lucrecia would have loved to do the same. But it seemed that any anger she had against her husband was released with the Nail Bat. Now, it appeared that she wanted them to spare Hojo, even take care of him from the way she was holding him. Cid sighed, wondering what the others would say about this when they got home, especially Sephiroth and Vincent.

"I...don't know," Cid answered, "I guess we could..." He looked at Reeve and Tifa.

Tifa stuttered, "Oh...boy..." She rubbed her hair away from her face and said, "There's a fourth bed upstairs in the big bedroom. But what on earth are we going to do? We can't have him poking around here. I know you care about him, Lucrecia, but..."

"I'll make sure he's no trouble!" A tear streamed down Lucrecia's face, "I promise!"

"...She _did_ make short work of him with that Nail Bat," Reeve said, "Maybe she _could_ manage him."

"But we need to get Dr. Kerring in here to look at that head of his," Cid spoke, "You whacked him pretty good."

_In the Junon wilderness..._

Things would have gotten quite boring for Cloud, Sephiroth, Barrett, Yuffie, and Red XIII if it weren't for a certain incident in the forests. If blame could be laid on anyone for the havoc that insued in such a short period of time, I suppose it would have to be Red. He had simply thought that the others would all have the wisdom to avoid the upcoming disaster, but he forgot that humans do not possess the incredibly adept senses that he had.

The disaster was a yellow jacket nest in the ground.

It was an interesting chain reaction. Barrett accidentally stepped on the nest, causing a swarm of yellow jackets to fly angrily into the air. They thrust themselves on Barrett and Yuffie, who as a result started doing what would later be dubbed as the "yellow jacket dance." In furiously swiping away the harmful insects, Barrett accidentally knocked Cloud over into a fire ant bed. Yuffie accidentally stepped on Sephiroth's foot. Sephiroth then jumped back to dodge her, and in doing so tripped over a fallen log, into a termite mound, which was at that moment being attacked by fire ants.

Red XIII, who alone remained unscathed, could only watch with horror as the four adults ran to the nearest pond and all jumped in with an enormous splash. After a few moments, they all emerged, dripping wet, itching and wincing. Thankfully, they had star pendants (which Yuffie had forced the men to buy and wear before leaving Junon) to protect them from the dangerous poisonous effects of the bites and stings, but Sephiroth and Cloud would still itch until they drank a potion and Barrett and Yuffie still felt the effects of the yellow jackets.

They all drank a potion immediately, and the welts began to disappear. It was at this point that they all crumpled to the ground, Sephiroth included, and Yuffie whimpered, "I wanna go home."

"No kidding," Barrett panted, "We've been out here for nearly two weeks already. That's the longest trip we've ever been on in the western continent. Cloud, have we gotten enough monsters to collect the bounty?"

Cloud rummaged through his sack of talons, horns, and beaks, which would serve as receipts for the things they killed, and then he went through Barrett's sack, and Yuffie and Sephiroth's sacks, and nodded.

"Yeah," he said, "that should be enough. I can't wait to get home either."

Sephiroth was wringing his hair out, looking very annoyed. Then he took a dry cloth out of his travel sack, which had thankfully fallen off of his shoulder when Yuffie stepped on his foot, and began to dry the Masamune.

Yuffie smirked at him, "Well...at least we all got a bath. Except Red, that is."

"Yes..." Sephiroth raised an eyebrow at Red, "Why didn't _you_ get stung or bitten?"

"...Insects don't like me, I suppose," Red answered. Then he noticed that Sephiroth was still staring at him, and so were Cloud and Barrett.

"Ya know," Barrett said, "With all those animal senses ya got, you coulda warned us..."

"I think you heard that yellow jacket nest a mile away..." Cloud grumbled.

Cloud, Sephiroth, and Barrett were slowly getting up and inching towards Red XIII. Yuffie's eyes widened as Red yelped and made a dash for it, but unfortunately he didn't take Cloud and Sephiroth's Mako infusions into account, or their strategic methods of thinking. Cloud chased Red around the site, while Sephiroth sneaked to where he projected Red to be coming in a few moments. He tackled the red beast and all three men managed to drag the squirming quadriped to the pond and they hurled him in.

Yuffie was holding her sides laughing, especially when the three men, all grinning, returned with the sopping Red. Red looked very silly with all of his red and orange fur clinging to his skin. Then he shook the water off, only to have his fur poof out like he had stuck his paw in an electric outlet. But he seemed resigned to his fate, though under his cool exterior he plotted his revenge.


	21. A Little Bit of Chaos

**Disclaimer**: Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making money off of this.

Chapter Twenty-One- A Little Bit of Chaos

Dr. Kerring arrived at the house about twenty minutes after Cid carried Hojo to the upstairs spare bedroom. His eyes widened when he saw his patient, but only because of Hojo's frail form. Lucrecia, Reeve, Cid, Shera, and Tifa were watching solemnly as the doctor bandaged up Hojo's head. Marlene was peeking at the doorway.

"He's not hurt too badly. He'll have a headache for a couple of days, but nothing serious. However, I _am_ curious," he turned to the others, "as to how he got this wound."

There was a short silence before Lucrecia sheepishly spoke up, "He's my husband."

"...Funny, I haven't seen him before."

"He just got back...after thirty-two years."

"...Ohhhh." Dr. Kerring decided that this was another one of those matters that went on in this house that he had just better keep his nose out of, "All right." He took his doctor's bag and got up, "Call me if he doesn't wake up by this evening. Try to get him to eat something."

The doctor left and the question arose as to who should wait with Hojo to be with him when he woke up. Lucrecia volunteered first, but Cid overruled it by saying that he didn't want her to be in that situation right away until they knew for sure that Hojo would do no harm to her. Lucrecia objected that he would never physically hurt her, but she was outnumbered. Tifa was out of the question; Cloud would kill Cid and Reeve if he knew that they left his pregnant wife alone in a room with Hojo, whether he was conscious or not. Shera wouldn't know how to deal with the scientist, so that left Cid and Reeve.

Cid finally consented to be the one to do it. He was the one who had stood up to Hojo earlier on, and though Hojo wasn't afraid of him, Cid could probably keep the scientist under control. Besides, Hojo was in no condition to put up a fight.

"...Let's try to get some food in his body when he wakes up," Shera said, "he looks almost anorexic." She turned to Reeve, "Did he ever eat anything at work, Reeve?"

"He was always really busy; I don't know if he took time to eat or not," Reeve answered, "None of us wanted to bother him about it, not even Heidegger or the President. As you may have gathered, we were all a little intimidated by him," Reeve shook his head and chuckled a little, "The President, Rufus Shinra's father, would take every word from Hojo's mouth as if it was from the Ancient's themselves. It was hard _not_ to believe him. He could be very persuasive."

They said nothing else on the subject and left Cid in the room. Cid sat on Reeve's bed and stared at Hojo. Then he got tired of staring at Hojo and lay down. Then he got tired of staring at the ceiling and walked over to a meager bookshelf in the corner of the bedroom to look for something interesting to read. The bookshelf, as well as all of the furniture, was left there after the previous house owner died. He must have had someone in his family who was into poetry, because all of the books on this shelf were poetry books, probably stuffed into this room by the owner to be kept out of sight and out of mind.

_"Oh, well. Better than nothing,"_ thought Cid as he pulled out an old book and thumbed through it. He looked at Hojo, who was still showing no signs of stirring, "You like poetry, you sicko?"

No reply. Cid looked through the book and read a random verse aloud:

_"My chest heaves out a wretched sigh  
__On the bloodied ground, battered I lie  
__Oh, help me, that I would die!"_

"Eesh..." Cid winced, "that's kinda depressing, isn't it?" He flipped a few pages, "How's this one:

_"Always there, never stirring  
__Unless a breeze comes its way.  
__Always quiet, never yearning  
__for other trees far away._

_Ah, nature, let me be  
__as calm, content, and peaceful as that tree!"_

"That's what you call desperate; wanting to be a tree..." Cid flipped the pages some more and read another entry, a limerick.

_"Robert Jones went to the tree  
__with a hope somehow to flee  
__from Mr. Copper  
__who blew his "top-per"  
__because Robert had spiked his dog's tea."_

"Well..." Cid raised an eyebrow, "that was different."

Hojo began to move and breathe deeper. Cid sighed, with both relief and dread. The man was finally waking up. Cid put the book aside and went to the bedroom door.

"Shera!" he called, "He's waking up! Bring something for him to eat and drink, okay?"

"If you please, young man," Hojo slurred, not opening his eyes and trying to be as polite as possible (he _was_ a little grateful for not being dead), "do not shout so loudly. I have a wretched enough headache as it is."

"Sorry," Cid answered on reflex. He wished horribly that Lucrecia and Shera had not banned smoking inside of the house. He needed a smoke.

"I _would_ like to know..." Hojo asked, still not opening his eyes, "who did it."

"Did what?"

"Hit me on the head. I have a terrific throbbing pain in the back of my head."

"You'll find out soon enough."

"It will heal faster than normally."

"Because of the Jenova cells?"

"...Yes."

"Good. Then you can pull your own weight around here. The only reason you're not eviscerated and lying in a ditch is because..." Cid froze, _"-**Bleepit**-, I almost gave it away!"_

"Because of what?" Hojo asked, sitting up and propping his pillow.

"Nothing."

"Young man, whenever someone says 'Nothing' in response to a question, it could mean one of several things. One, the person forgot what they were talking about. Two, the person is dismissing what they would have said as impossible or not worth it. Three, the person is hiding something. Now, considering that my injury has happened recently, I think we can discard the first two options. What are you trying to hide from me?"

Shera entered the room with a tray before Cid would have to work up the effort to answer and she placed the tray down on the nightstand beside Hojo's bed.

Shera said, in her normal cheery manner, "Tea, sandwiches, and a little bowl of trail mix. Eat up."

"Yes, Mother," Hojo replied disdainfully, crossing his arms and looking away. Shera leaned over and said,

"There's some relish and mustard to put on your sandwiches. Eat up, or you won't get dessert."

The mention of relish and mustard seemed to spark some interest in the old scientist. His eyes turned towards the tray and he ignored Shera's last comment. Shera looked at Cid with a knowing glint in her eye. Cid realized that she must have gotten "sandwich-making-for-Hojo" tips from Lucrecia, or Lucrecia herself made the sandwiches. Hojo eyed Shera one more time before taking the tray. He took up the tea and smelled it.

Shera said, "Green tea with a drop of honey. Hope you like it."

Hojo narrowed his eyes at Shera, but sipped the tea. In fact, he gulped half the cup upon discovering that it wasn't too hot. Then he looked at the trail mix. It was the kind of mix that would come with dried slices of fruit, raisins, dried raspberries, cashews, peanuts, and almonds. But Cid noticed that all of the fruit slices had been picked out. Again, probably the work of Lucrecia. So, she remembered how he liked his lunch. It was rather thoughful of her, Cid had to admit.

It hadn't occurred to Cid just yet that considering all of the little details, Hojo would find this all vaguely familiar. He addressed Shera, "Did you make the lunch?"

Shera answered, "Yes." But her eyes averted; she wasn't very good with lying. She said, "I'm going to stand here and make sure you eat every bite."

Hojo didn't say another word, but fell to the food. He applied the relish and mustard to the ham and cheese in the toasted bread, and gingerly took a bite. But then he progressively worked up to bigger bites and soon finished off the lunch. So, he wasn't anorexic. He had probably been too busy all the time, like Reeve said, to eat. Shera thought it was cute how he would search for the almonds in the trail mix.

Just as Shera was taking the empty tray, they heard a voice in the doorway, "Who're you?"

Marlene had sneaked upstairs in curiosity to see who the stranger that everyone was making such a fuss about was. She looked at him, and he looked at her. Since Marlene didn't know who Hojo was or anything he had done, she just thought he was a skinny, slightly scary-looking man with glasses. Hojo assumed that perhaps Marlene was Cid and Shera's child. He hadn't seen a child in a long time; not since the Cetra.

"Marlene!" Cid fussed, "You're not supposed to be up here and you know it."

"But, Uncle Cid," Marlene protested, "I wanted to see..."

"Well, you've seen. Hurry along now!"

"Now, now, Uncle Cid," Hojo said, "there's no need for that." He put his feet on the floor and addressed the little girl, "Come here, Marlene."

Marlene looked a little frightened, but approached. Cid didn't think there was any use in objecting anymore. At least now Marlene might be afraid of Hojo and wouldn't _want_ to go near him anymore.

"How old are you?" Hojo asked.

Marlene held up five fingers, "Five."

"Five? And where are your parents?"

"Papa's away on a trip with Uncle Cloud, Uncle Sephy, and Aunt Yuffie."

"I see... Uncle _Sephy_, is it? Sephy-what?"

"Marlene..." Cid sternly spoke, but unfortunately they had not coached Marlene properly in not mentioning her new best friend. In fact, she had sneaked out of the basement and down the hall to the stairs. Reeve and the women had been in the kitchen.

Marlene blurted out before Cid could further shush her, "He has a funny name. Sephy Roth. He's my best friend!"

Cid threw his hands into the air in frustration. Why keep up pretenses now?

"Don't get that smirk on your face, Hojo," Cid growled, "I doubt seriously that he will find your coming welcome. In fact, don't be surprised to get a Masamune in your chest when he and the others get here!"

"I am frightened out of my wits," Hojo said, sarcastically, "So, why is he traveling with Cloud Strife?"

"He's actually acting civil now, which isn't something I can say for someone in this room!"

"Speak for thyself, Cid," Hojo narrowed his eyes.

"Stop it, both of you!" Shera snapped.

Marlene stomped her foot, "Yeah, stop it, Uncle Cid! You're being _mean_!"

"_I'm_ being...?" Cid then realized that he _was_ being mean. And he was making himself look like the bad guy to Marlene instead of Hojo. That was just humiliating.

"Marlene," Shera took hold of Marlene's hand while balancing the tray with her other arm, "Mr. Hojo needs to sleep now. Come along."

"Bye-bye, Mr. Hojo!" Marlene waved at the professor before leaving the room with Shera.

There was a short silence before Cid spoke, "You like kids, Hojo?"

Hojo pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and answered, "I haven't really formulated an opinion of them lately."

_The Midgar Wilderness..._

"How do I get myself in these messes?" Cloud wailed.

"Get these -_bleep_- things off of me!" Barrett struggled, forgetting his language etiquette.

"Yuffie, don't just stand there!" Sephiroth snapped, trying vainly to protect his hair, "Do something!"

"I'm _not _just standing here," Yuffie said, with an armful of baby chocobos, "I'm trying to help!"

The group had stopped to get some food (some _civilized_ food) at the Chocobo ranch on the way back to Kalm. Thankfully, the wild chocobos that they had ridden across the swamp a couple of weeks earlier were still grazing in the area around the mythril mine, so there were no problems there. Cloud mentioned to Sephiroth that tame chocobos were a lot more civil than wild chocobos, and a lot less afraid of humans. Unfortunately, shortly after the group arrived at the Chocobo Ranch, the gate containing all of the baby chocobos (fifty of them) mysteriously opened, and Billy was running around trying to get them rounded up.

To make a long story short, one baby chocobo had wandered up to Cloud and Cloud scratched it behind its left ear, thinking it was kind of cute. The baby chocobo seemed to take an instant liking to Cloud. Now, inexplicably, all of the baby chocobos were crawling all over the sprawling Cloud, Sephiroth, and Barrett. Billy was doing his utmost to gather the babies and put them back in their cage one or two at a time. Yuffie was helping him, amused, but extremely concerned about Sephiroth's temper. She was surprised that he hadn't wielded the Masamune by now. Maybe it was because he couldn't get to it for the twenty baby birds giving him chocobo-kisses.

After a half an hour of frantic back and forth deliveries between the baby chocobo pen and the three incensed men, Billy and Yuffie finally managed to get all fifty baby chocobos back to their pen. All the humans were covered with feathers. They were all so disgusted or exhausted that none of them noticed that Red XIII was nowhere to be found. Billy assured them that any smell in their clothes would be aired out while they walked to Kalm, since baby chocobos were cleaner than adults. But he couldn't explain why the babies had acted in such a way.

No one noticed Red XIII go to the baby chocobo cage and whisper, "Great job, kids."

Revenge was sweet.

After an hour of refreshing themselves, the group continued on their way to Kalm. Sephiroth hoped that he would never have to see another chocobo as long as he lived. Fortunately, the little chocobos' beaks weren't sharp enough to bite his hair off, but they had pulled at it.

Yuffie wrapped her arm around his and leaned on his shoulder, "I'm sorry; I moved as fast as I could."

"She's sorry about _him_!" Cloud moaned, picking chocobo-down from his cape.

"When we get home you two can have Tifa and Marlene as sorry for you as you want, but I want to be sorry for Sephiroth," Yuffie pursed her lips and wrapped both arms around Sephiroth's arm.

"His Mama can feel sorry for him," Barrett said, checking his ears once again to make sure there were no feathers.

"Oh, stop complaining!" Yuffie rolled her eyes.

"First, wild chocobos," Sephiroth spoke for the first time since they left the ranch, "then frogs, then carnival plays, and now rabid baby chocobos. This has to be one of the most unusual trips I've ever gone on, on foot. If this day could get any stranger, I'd like to know how."

They were about to find out.

_In Kalm..._

Dr. Kerring was in the market place walking by the fountain when he noticed Cloud and his friends coming into town. He waved at them.

"Hey, Mr. Strife, Mr. Wallace! Good to have you back! How are you doing?"

"Fine," Cloud answered.

"Swell," Barrett replied.

"And how is Miss Kisaragi?" the doctor asked.

"I'm fine, thanks," Yuffie smiled.

"And the brave rescuer?" Kerring addressed Sephiroth.

"I'm all right, thank you," Sephiroth said, trying to forget the earlier incident.

"And I haven't seen _you_ in a long time," Kerring said to Red XIII, "the talking animal from Cosmo Canyon."

"Greetings," Red spoke.

"Hey, er, I want to warn all of you that you have a new guest," Dr. Kerring said, "A rather odd-looking fellow. Ms. Lucrecia said that he was her husband."

The group's faces all dropped and were silent for a few minutes.

"...I take it you know him?" Dr. Kerring asked.

"No, it can't be!" Yuffie exclaimed.

"Did he have long, black hair, glasses, a white lab coat, yellow eyes, a sunken face, and a rather nasty disposition?" asked Sephiroth.

"Well, I don't know about the eyes or the disposition, but you've got everything else all right."

The group all looked at each other and shrieked in unison, "_Hojo!_"

Dr. Kerring didn't even get a chance to ask any questions as they made a dash to the house. He shrugged and continued with his shopping. The Strife household was the strangest household in the entire village, and had been the strangest since the doctor lived there.

Cloud and Sephiroth were the first to get to the house, crashing into each other into the front door, which failed to open at the right time. They fell back, almost knocking Barrett, Red, and Yuffie into the ground. They jumped back up and opened the door.

"Mother!" Sephiroth exclaimed.

"Tifa!" Cloud shouted.

"Marlene!" Barrett yelled.

Lucrecia popped her head out of the living room door and asked, "Is there a fire?"

"Fire? No!" Barrett said, "Hojo!"

"It's nice to see you too, everyone," Lucrecia said calmly.

"No, Lucrecia, you don't understand," Cloud breathlessly said, "Hojo's in this house! And...why are you so calm?"

"Cloud," Tifa emerged from the living room, "it's all right; everything's under control."

"Under control? Dr. Kerring said that Hojo's here!"

"Really, Cloud," Tifa said, "You didn't think we could keep _Hojo_ under control? The man weighs less than Yuffie. He's upstairs."

"How can you be so calm," Sephiroth spoke angrily, "when _he's_ here? I'm going to _kill_ him!"

Then something happened that no one in the hunting group expected. Lucrecia grabbed Sephiroth by the straps of his armor with one hand and pointed a finger in his face with the other.

"You...will...do...no...such...thing," she spoke lowly, "He's your _father_, no matter what he has done... He was looking for you."

"What for?" Sephiroth still had bitterness in his voice.

"...I don't know. I knocked him out before that. He hasn't even seen me."

"You knocked him out?" Red spoke.

"Gracious!" Lucrecia jumped back, noticing Red for the first time, "What is that?"

"That's just Red, Lucrecia," Yuffie said, "he's perfectly all right. He helped us...helped us..." _'Kill Sephiroth'_ didn't seem to be an appropriate thing to say at this time, "He helped us."

"Anyway..." Red said, "you knocked him out?"

"It...It's a long story. Come in, and we'll try to explain."

"Why do you have feathers on your clothes?" Tifa asked, examining Cloud's cloak.

"That's a long story too," Cloud answered as they all walked into the living room, "but what about Hojo?"

"Cid and Reeve are with him right now..." Lucrecia said.

Tifa spoke to her husband, "He came in, wanting to know where you were. I don't know; I guess he thought that we might know something about Sephiroth, or why he may be resurrected. Hojo said he didn't know why he was alive. But he demanded to know where Sephiroth was, especially when he saw this..." Tifa pointed to a towel left on the floor.

Yuffie laughed as she picked it up, "Oh, no! It's the towel I used to catch Sephiroth's hair when I trimmed it a few weeks ago. I stuffed it underneath the couch and forgot."

"You...cut Sephiroth's hair?" Red asked.

"I only _trimmed_ it."

"The point is," Sephiroth said, "that he saw that."

"Yes," Tifa continued, "And he got angry. Cid got angry too. Then Lucrecia came up behind Hojo and hit him on the head with the Nail Bat."

"_My_ Nail Bat?" Cloud asked.

"Yes..." Lucrecia said, "I'm sorry; it broke."

"...That's okay. But then what happened?"

"Cid took Hojo upstairs, we got Dr. Kerring to come look at his head, and he woke up a few hours ago, and that's about it."

"Papa!" Marleneran into the livingroom from the kitchen, where Shera was.

"Marlene!" Barrett ran to his daughter, "Are you all right?"

"Uh-huh!" Marlene hugged Barrett when he picked her up, "I'm glad you're back!"

"I'm glad to _be_ back, sweetie!" Barrett rubbed Marlene's nose with his.

Sephiroth had crossed his arms and looked very stern, "What are we going to do about him? Hojo, I mean.

"...We'll have to see," Tifa answered, "Especially when Vincent gets back; he went for a walk and won't be back until late."

"I'll be outside," Sephiroth walked out the front door. He wanted to cool off and think about all of this.

Cloud rubbed his head, "This will be interesting..."

"I don't want Sephiroth to speak to Hojo until after I speak with him," Lucrecia said, "I'll find out why Hojo wanted to see him."

"One problem," Cloud said, "how is Hojo going to react to _you_?"

"...I don't know," Lucrecia hung her head.


	22. A Sad, Bad Madman

(Kit Thespian walks in, and all the male characters are hiding from their Disclaimer responsibilities)

Kit Thespian: Here we are! Chapter 22! Double-deuce! Three hundred and twenty-two reviews and still going strong! And it's the men's day to give the Disclaimer! (looks around) Hey, where is everybody?

Cloud (hiding backstage, to other hiding characters): Don't say anything, maybe she won't notice...

Kit Thespian: Hey, guys, I need someone to give the Disclaimer! Where are y'all?

Cloud: Not one word...

Kit Thespian: Guys...? (starts to sniffle) Oh, what am I going to do? I need a Disclaimer! Boo, hoo, hoo...

Cid (whispers): Don't believe it; it's a trick.

Kit Thespian: WAAAAHHH!

Reeve: Aw, man, but she looks so _pitiful_!

Sephiroth: Steady, Reeve, steady...

Kit Thespian: I'm going to be sued! WAAAAHHHH!

(She looks around, and realizes that her crying is not getting her any points. She grumbles.)

Kit Thespian: That's it...If you guys don't come out of hiding, all the men are wearing pink tutus to give the Disclaimer from _this day forth_!

Barrett: Man, she sounds _serious_.

Kit Thespian: I'm going to give it to the count of three...

Sephiroth: She wouldn't dare.

Kit Thespian: One!

Sephiroth: ...Would she?

Kit Thespian: _Two_!

Cloud: Should we risk it?

Kit Thespian: Two and a quarter!

Vincent: ...I don't like pink spandex; it chafes.

Kit Thespian: Two and a half!

Cid: You aren't wimping out on me, are you?

Kit Thespian: Two and three quarters! You guys must really want to see Palmer and Heidegger in tights! Thr...

All guys (except Cid): WE'LL DO IT!

Kit Thespian: That's better!

All guys: Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein, and she is not making money off of this.

Cid: Wimps...

Cloud (eyes like ostrich eggs): Uh, Cid?

(Cid looks down and sees a pink tutu)

Cid: EEEEKKKK!

Chapter Twenty-Two- A Sad, Bad Madman

"Why do you want to see Sephiroth?" Reeve asked Hojo, a little while before the group returned from their journey. He didn't mind sitting in the bedroom with Hojo as long as Cid was there. He and Cid were seated on Reeve's bed while Hojo sat on his. Reeve was actually finding the scientist to be a little fascinating, when he wasn't threatening their lives. Cid had only met the scientist twice: once in the crater and once at the Sister Ray controls. Hojo had been on the edge of insanity at the crater, and he had long since dived into it when they finished him off at the platform. But now, Hojo was sitting and talking like a rational individual. At least, as rationally as an unbelievably bitter person can get. He would say anything you want about the operations in Shinra or his research, but it was hard to get any information out of Hojo about the man himself.

Even at this moment, he answered only, "I just want to."

"But why?" Reeve insisted, "There must be a reason."

"Why should I share that with _you_?" Hojo sneered at the skinny man, "it's interesting that after years of avoiding me as if I were a plague, you've all of a sudden become very curious about my past life."

Reeve grumbled, "Well, it may have something to do with finding out that you're the father of the man who tried to destroy the world to achieve godhood, and that you killed Dr. Gast, and there's also the fact that you started turning into monsters to try to kill us, and you also did something to Vincent to make _him_ turn into monsters. That's not something you see every day..."

Reeve's voice trailed off when he noticed Hojo's face darken as the engineer mentioned Vincent's name.

"Oh, yes," Hojo crossed his arms, "Vincent...I suppose he told you everything, hmm? Or, more likely, absolutely _nothing_. That man could do with a head on his shoulders, and a brain to go with it. And while he's at it, some common sense couldn't hurt either. So, he suffered, did he? I can assure you that what he suffered could in no way touch the way I suffered!"

"What?" Cid was amazed and a little agitated at the audacity of that statement, "You shot him!You scientifically altered him! You -_bleeping_- stuffed him in a coffin! You...!"

Cid's defense of Vincent seemed to push a sensitive button in the scientist that had not been pressed in several years. At Cid's statement, Hojo's face turned red and formed the most horrible scowl that Cid and Reeve had ever seen on any human face. His fists clenched and his voice took on a deadly and quiet tone that commanded total silence of all those around him.

He said through his teeth, "You can't even begin to imagine what I have gone through. I put Valentine in that coffin as a mercy. I don't know what he has said to you, but you can be assured that his knowledge of what happened to me is extremely limited. I will not be compared to Vincent Valentine, nor will I be judged by _you_."

Cid and Reeve were ready to give up. At this rate, they weren't going to get _anything _out of the scientist.Reeve really didn't know how to weigh the facts, but sticking Vincent in the coffin for thirty years wasn't the engineer's idea of being merciful. Cid thought this was just getting weirder and weirder. He scratched his head. He was not used to dealing with these kinds of situations. Who _was_? Since a confrontation between Hojo and Lucrecia was going to be inevitable, he thought perhaps it was time to bring Lucrecia into the conversation.

"Your wife..." Cid murmured, "Her name was Lucrecia, right?"

Hojo's eyes narrowed. Cid remembered in the depths of Hojo's insanity, he had only referred to Lucrecia as "the woman with my child." He must have been trying to block her name out for years, trying to forget her but never fully succeeding. He said nothing.

A commotion downstairs interrupted the conversation. There were so many voices shouting at once that it was hard to tell who they were coming from. Cid stood up.

"I think they're home," he said.

"I'll stay up here, thank you," Hojo said coldly, lying back down, "I don't think I'm going to get a warm welcome."

Reeve left the room with Cid. But he stopped the pilot at the foot of the stairs and whispered, "What do you think about that?"

"About what?" Cid raised an eyebrow.

"What Hojo said. Doesn't it puzzle you, in the least?"

"I don't _what_ tothink about it..." Cid shook his head, "Let's just talk to Cloud and Sephiroth."

"Gosh...What do you think Sephiroth's gonna do?"

"Frankly, I could care less what he does to Hojo."

"Are you sure? I mean, I'd like to know what's really going on here."

They reached the living room to find Cloud with Tifa, Barrett holding Marlene, Lucrecia, Yuffie, and Red XIII. Reeve wondered where Sephiroth was.

"Hey, Red!" Cid grinned as he approached the furry beast and rubbed his head, "didn't expect to see you here!"

Then he realized that all eyes were fixed on him and Reeve. They were obviously waiting for news on you-know-who.

"Oh...So, you know?" Reeve said.

The silence meant yes.

"What does he want?" Cloud finally asked.

Reeve sighed, "He wants to speak to Sephiroth."

"Just because he _wants_ to," Cid said, irritated, pulling out his cigarette pack, "He's a little touchy on the subject. I'm going outside for a smoke..." And he walked out the back door.

Yuffie looked towards the front door, and said, "I don't know if Hojo should talk to Sephiroth. Sephiroth's not in the best of moods. It's hardly surprising, though. He's on the front porch."

"I'm going to talk to Hojo..." Lucrecia said decidedly and she headed for the stairwell. Cloud gently took her arm.

"Lucrecia, are you _sure_?" he asked, "You don't have to do this."

"I know, but I _want_ to."

"I'll come with you."

"No, I want to do this alone..."

"At least let me wait outside the door, or in the upstairs hallway."

"...All right, but no further," Lucrecia looked very grave, "it's been over thirty years...I hardly know what we're going to say to each other... But don't worry."

No one said a word (not even little Marlene) as Lucrecia and Cloud walked to the stairs. Lucrecia's mind was a torrent of things.

_"What am I going to say to him? How will he react? ...I don't even know if he ever really loved me or not. He was so kind to me before Sephiroth's birth, surely **some** of it was sincere. It couldn't all have been a facade. And I loved him. But...the things they say about him, Shinra's demon scientist. What happened to him? And what's going to take to convince him that I forgive him...?"_

Now she was slowly ascending the stairs, clutching onto the railing with a clammy palm. Cloud was behind her every step of the way, even offering his arm out at one point for support. He had accepted that she was going to do this whether they liked it or not, and he wanted to make her as comfortable as possible. Lucrecia's heart beat faster with anxiety each second that she drew closer to the bedroom door. She stepped softly, trying not to make a sound. She reached out and put her hand on the doorknob, and hesitated a moment, trying to control her shaky breathing.

"Are you okay?" Cloud whispered. Lucrecia nodded, and he said, "If he does anything, just scream, all right?"

She nodded again and Cloud stepped aside as she gently turned the knob. The door opened with the slightest creaking sound and Lucrecia stepped in and closed the door behind her. She bit her tongue when she saw the lanky man lying down on the bed. He stirred when she walked in but didn't look.

"What is it?" he snapped, not opening his eyes, "More questions, or more food and tea to ram down my throat?"

Lucrecia opened her mouth, trying to manage something to say, but only tiny squeaks would come out at first. Hojo ignored them and turned over, burying his face in the pillow and thinking that Reeve had come back to interrogate him but lacked the courage to say anything. Seeing that Hojo was not going to pay attention to her if she just stood there, Lucrecia walked over to his bedside.

_"Now or never..."_ she thought as she reached out her hand to touch his shoulder.

Letting out a huff, Hojo jerked around to sneer at whoever was disturbing him. Then he saw her. The scowl washed away and his eyes got bigger and bigger. Tears formed in Lucrecia's eyes and she didn't try to blink them back. Hojo only stared at her for a few moments, as if he thought that she was an illusion and would disappear at any time. Lucrecia, biting back a sob, brushed her fingertips against Hojo's cheek as gently as she could.

"I'm real..." she managed, "I'm here..."

Hojo remained silent in shock, but hesitantly moved a hand (which were almost like a skeleton's, it seemed) up to hers. He wrapped his fingers around her hand, tightly, as if to test whether or not she _was_ real. Lucrecia sat down on the bed beside him, taking both of his hands. He was nothing but skin and bones; she gently rubbed his hands.

She said, trying to break the ice, "You're going to get more food and tea rammed down your throat before _I'm _through with you."

He still said nothing, but took his hands out of hers and cupped her face in his palms. Lucrecia felt a swell of joy in her heart. He _did_ love her; it was written in his eyes, pain from thirty years of loneliness. She managed a laugh through her tears.

"Yes, I _here_. I'm alive...The Planet has given us another chance, Hojo..."

"The Planet..." Hojo took his hands and looked away; his voice was bitter, "The very thing that I've cursed through my actions for thirty years. And you...have every reason to hate me, me and my foolishness..."

"I forgive you, Hojo!" Lucrecia put her hands on his shoulders, "I forgave you a long time ago. You have to forgive yourself too, you know."

"L...Lucrecia," Hojo clenched his yellow eyes shut; he had never thought to speak that name again, "You don't know...the things I've done..."

"...I've heard. The experiments, Dr. Gast... But it's in the past, Hojo. You have another chance; don't slap it away."

Hojo sardonically scoffed, "You think things can go back to the way they were? Never, Lucrecia. Our old life is gone, and we're surrounded by people who hate me, including our own son..."

"We'll work on Sephiroth, and in time the others will follow. Even so, everything will be fine. We're together now, and nothing will change _that_, I promise you."

"...I'm a bent-over _thing_ with a few remnants of humanity. I'm not the man you married."

"I can see him in you. Remember my promise, at Icicle Inn? I still stand by it. I love you, Hojo. And I'll say it every day..."

He stood up and walked to a corner of the room, placing his hands on the wall, "I don't have a right to receive your love...I don't even have a right to _touch_ you."

"Oh, stop that! I don't care if you have a 'right to receive it' or not. You're still getting it."

"I don't understand," Hojo still wouldn't look at her, "why you would..."

Lucrecia approached him and wrapped her arms around his chest, leaning her head on his back, "It's called 'til death do us part.' Now, we're both alive again, so I think that part of bargain still holds."

Hojo remained silent for a moment, and then said, "You may not have to be held to it for long. There are a lot of people angry with me."

Lucrecia chuckled and ran her fingers along his hair, "They'll have to get through me first...and my broomstick."

Hojo blinked, "Broomstick?"

Lucrecia was suddenly reminded of something, and she turned red with embarrassment, "Um, honey?"

"Yes, dear?"

Lucrecia said a little sheepishly, "...You know that bump on the back of your head?"

_Downstairs..._

"...Sure is quiet up there," Yuffie said. Barrett was holding Marlene on his lap on the couch. Yuffie was sitting beside him.

"Don't you worry," Barrett said, "If he tries anything, Cloud'll break down the door faster than Hojo can say '_Yo mama_!'"

"I wonder..." Yuffie said, staring at the ceiling, "maybe...they're happy to see each other."

Reeve, Barrett, Tifa, Red, and Shera (who had come back from the kitchen) all laid blank stares on the ninja. Once she realized they were all gaping at her, she exclaimed, "Hey, you never know! I mean, Lucrecia...never seemed to hate Hojo whenever she talked about him. True, she was _sad_, but who wouldn't be in that kind of situation?"

"Is Mr. Hojo a bad man?" Marlene asked.

Before Yuffie could say anything, Barrett snapped, "Yes, sugar, he's a bad man."

"...I wouldn't call him a _bad_ man," Reeve spoke, calling all stares to turn to him, "More like a...sad...bad...mad man. Something like that."

Tifa raised an eyebrow, "A sad, bad madman?"

"Yeah, you got it!" Reeve attempted a diplomatic grin.

"Oh, boy..." Barrett buried his face in his good hand.

"...Is Sephiroth still outside?" asked Tifa.

"Yes," Yuffie answered, and she got up, "I'm going to talk with him. I've been doing some thinking."

"Be careful now, okay?" Reeve said.

"Don't worry; he won't hurt me," Yuffie said over her shoulder as she headed to the front door. As soon as the door shut, Reeve shuddered.

"Yuck!" he exclaimed.

"What?" Tifa said, "What is it?"

"I just had a vision..." Reeve said, "of Lucrecia kissing Hojo. Ew!"

_On the front porch..._

The front porch had a swing, on which Sephiroth was seated at this moment. But he sat still; the only thing that acknowledged her presence when Yuffie came on the porch was Sephiroth's green eyes.

"Sephiroth?" she said, "I know you must be upset..."

No answer.

"But there's something I want to say..." Yuffie continued, "My father is dead, Sephiroth. He and everything else in Wutai were destroyed by the Ultimate Weapon monster." Sephiroth jerked his head in surprise, but remained silent. He had wondered what had happened to her father, but she had never explained it before. Now that she was sure that she had his attention, Yuffie went on, "Our last words together were angry words. He didn't want me traveling around with...the 'round eyes' anymore, especially since the leader seemed to be in SOLDIER once. He wanted me to go ahead and take as much materia as I could and stay in Wutai with him. By that time I was already too deep in what was going on; I couldn't back out on the group now. I tried to tell him that I would come back when everything was all right and Meteor was gone, but he wouldn't listen. We argued, and I stormed out of the pagoda. He was dead the next day, while we were investigating the Gelnika." Yuffie took a deep breath, "I met Dr. Hojo three times: at Costa Del Sol, the crater, and at the Sister Ray controls. He was looking for you the first two times, and at the third, however crazy he was, his one thought was to help _you_, to give _you_ power and strength."

"What's your point?" Sephiroth asked, shortly.

"My point is, I don't know what kind of a relationship you and Hojo had, even if you _had_ one, but I _do _know that if I had a chance to set things right with my father...I'd take it. Just a thought."

Sephiroth blankly stared at her for a few moments, and Yuffie decided that it was perhaps time to leave him to digest all of this. She started to leave the porch.

"Yuffie..." Sephiroth spoke.

She turned back, "Yes?"

He held his hand out, "...Come here."

Without a word, Yuffie approached him and took his hand. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer until she sat down on his lap. He then put one arm around her back and supported her legs with the other. She leaned her head against his shoulder, her nose brushing his warm neck. His bangs were tickling her face and she brushed them away, and then she started to gently rub his face along his jawbone.

"Have I ever told you..." she said, grinning, "that you are a really handsome man?"

Sephiroth thought for a moment, "No, I don't believe you have."

"Well, you are."

"Thank you... Yuffie, where would I be without you?"

"...In the treehouse, telling Marlene about shiny gold beetles."

"No, I think I would be dead, most likely. They would have found me out and killed me the day I showed up."

"No, they wouldn't stand a chance against you."

Sephiroth allowed a smirk, "Whatever the case, it would have been one gigantic mess. You were my intercessor."

"As well as your mother."

"My mother... I don't know if I could have handled that at the time if you weren't there. You had to get attacked by drunks before I'd come to my senses...Have you ever forgiven me for that?"

"Of course, don't be silly!" she kissed him on the cheek, "How could I not forgive and be ever-so-grateful to my knight in shining, black armor? ...Have you come to a decision yet?"

"About what?"

"About...you know," Yuffie gestured to the second floor, "We didn't have to forgive _you_ either, you know, but we did."

Sephiroth sighed, "...Very well. I will _talk_ with him. Does that make you feel better?"

Yuffie smiled, "Lots better."


	23. Well, It's A Start

Kit Thespian: Well, I've just got back from my holidays…

(Enter Sephiroth and Cloud)

Cloud: Holidays? You haven't posted for four freakin' months!

Kit Thespian: Hey, I have college, okay? _You_ try being a Theater Major and a Vocal Music Minor and an amateur novelist all at once. You think it's a picnic?

Cloud: …Well, I wouldn't know about all that, but I do know what it's like to have to dress up like a girl, being called prettier than your two female leads, ride on a motorcycle while fighting off bad guys with a four-foot sword that's a foot thick, watch your town get burned down by (glares at Sephiroth) a certain _someone_ who shall remain nameless…

Sephiroth: Grrrr…

Cloud: …Get my memory messed up, watch one of my female leads get slaughtered by, again, a certain _someone_ who shall remain nameless, get experimented on by Hojo, get a huge dose of Mako poisoning, and whole other list of things including various taunting and torments given by a certain _someone_ who shall remain nameless…

Sephiroth: ALL RIGHT! Cut it out, already! I've suffered too, you know!

Kit Thespian (to herself): Can't we all just get along? (to characters) If you two don't behave, I'll…

Sephiroth: You'll what?

Kit Thespian: …Let me put it this way. (calls offstage) Oh, CIIIIIIDDD!

(Sephiroth and Cloud retract in horror at the sight of Cid Highwind walking on the stage in a pink tutu)

Cloud: Cid?

Sephiroth: What…?

Cid (flatly, reading a piece of paper): Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. She is also not making any money off of this. (looks closer at the paper) And she does not own The Sound of Music?

Cloud: Um…what's that supposed to mean?

Kit Thespian: snaps her fingers

Cid (skipping around): _Do, a deer, a female deer! Re, a drop of golden sun! Mi, a name I call myself! Fa, a long, long way to run…!_

Sephiroth (eyes wide as saucers): The humanity!

Cloud (hands over his ears): Make it STOP!

Cid (doing pirouettes): _So, a needle pulling thread! La, a note to follow So! Ti, a drink with jam and bread! That will bring us back to…_

Kit Thespian: snaps her fingers

Sephiroth (skipping about): _Do, a deer, a female deer!_

Cloud (performing arabesques): _Re, a drop of golden sun!_

Both: _Mi, a name I call myself!_ _Fa, a long, long way to run!_

(Sephiroth, Cloud, and Cid all join hands and dance in a circle)

All three: _So, a needle pulling thread! La, a note to follow So! Ti, a drink with jam and bread! That will bring us back to…_

Kit Thespian: _Do!_ (snaps her fingers)

Cid (seething, to Kit Thespian): You are wrong in the HEAD!

Kit Thespian: Moo ha ha…

Chapter Twenty-Three- Well, It's A Start (or, Seems Like Old Times)

Red XIII had gone to the back porch to join Cid. Under normal circumstances, he despised Cid's smoking and preferred to stay as far away as possible from the pilot when he got out a cigarette, but these were not normal circumstances. Red would take one of Cid's cigarettes over Dr. Hojo any day of the week. However, Red did maintain a good distance of five feet away from Cid while the pilot took another drag.

"You couldn't get anything else out of him?" Red asked.

"Nope," Cid answered, "the foremost thing on his mind was knowing where Sephiroth was."

"…Doesn't that strike you as a little odd?"

"How so?"

"He has no resource, no home, and no defense. You would think that he would stay as far away from Sephiroth as he could, knowing the history between them."

"I gave up trying to figure Hojo out about five minutes into our conversation."

"Lucrecia went up to speak with him. I wonder how that's going."

"Well, we haven't heard any bloodcurdling screams, so I guess it's okay. I think she could take him…Oh, boy." Cid's cigarette almost dropped out of his mouth.

"What?" Red turned his head towards Cid.

"What're we going to do when _Vincent_ gets home?"

"…That _is_ a good question. However, Vincent is not a rash person…"

Cid raised a cynical eyebrow, "Not rash? You don't call turning into giant purple monster with bat wings and decimating everything in your path rash?"

"That is after he has been repeatedly hurt in battle. I doubt Hojo will do _anything_ physically to anger Vincent. He knows Vincent's capabilities better than anyone else, most likely."

"However, the mere sight of him could –_bleep_- Vincent off to that point."

"We shall see."

_In the house…_

"Gosh, the suspense is killing me!" Reeve was literally pulling at his hair. There had been no news from the upstairs for several minutes.

Barrett glared at him, "If you don't quit whining, somethin' _else_ is gonna be killin' ya!"

Before Tifa could properly reprimand Barrett, the front door opened and Yuffie walked into the foyer with Sephiroth in tow. The scene looked very strange to the living room's occupants, because Yuffie was keeping a tight grip on Sephiroth's hand and pulling him along. Yuffie then had him unstrap the Masamune from his back and lay it against the wall.

"Where are you going?" asked Tifa.

"We're going to have a talk with someone…" Yuffie said.

Every person in the room (with the exception of Marlene; she didn't know the full weight of the situation) was wondering how on earth Yuffie could have ever convinced Sephiroth to go speak to Hojo. They were also amazed that Sephiroth possessed the capacity to look so sheepish. But one small glare of doom from the former general called their attentions elsewhere and they started another conversation. Wordlessly, the pair walked towards the stairs.

Cloud, who had been waiting outside the bedroom door expectantly for any sort of frantic noise, was shocked to see Yuffie and Sephiroth ascending the stairwell. Yuffie approached him, "How's it going?"

"I…_think_ it's going to be all right," Cloud answered.

"…I'm going in there, just to tell them that Sephiroth's coming."

"Are you sure you should?" Cloud nervously looked back and forth at the ninja and her tall companion.

"You said you think it's going to be all right," Yuffie put her free hand on her hip, "And I think it's wise if I go in there and warn them first. And _you_," she tapped a finger on Cloud's chest, "make sure _he_ doesn't go anywhere."

Cloud rolled his eyes and muttered something unintelligible. He knew as well as anyone that he would not be able to make Sephiroth do something he didn't want to do without bringing the entire house down on them in splinters. But, however reluctantly, Sephiroth didn't look like he was going to try to leave.

Yuffie knocked on the door, and Lucrecia's voice spoke from within, "Who is it?"

"It's Yuffie," she replied, "may I come in?"

"…All right."

Yuffie entered the room, trying to keep up the appearance of total ease, even though she really didn't relish the thought of meeting the scientist. She could only imagine how Sephiroth felt. But, sooner or later, Sephiroth and Hojo had to meet and speak to each other, even if it was only mild pleasantries spoken only to get the conversation over and done with. She saw Lucrecia sitting on the bed with Hojo beside her, and it seemed like they had only been talking before Yuffie arrived. Yuffie was surprised to find that the couple actually looked happy to be with each other again. But Hojo was regarding But Hojo was regarding Yuffie with suspicion, which was to be expected.

"…Hi," she said.

"Hi," Lucrecia said, "Was there something you wanted, Yuffie?"

_How do I put this? _"Um…Sephiroth's ready when you are." _As ready as he's ever going to be, at any rate…_

Hojo looked away, clenching his teeth together. Whether it was anger or nervousness, Yuffie couldn't tell. Lucrecia maintained her cool though.

"Let him come in," she said, taking hold of Hojo's hand.

Later, Yuffie would find the situation rather funny: father and son pulled reluctantly together by two petite females. Yuffie went outside the door, cast a nervous glance at Cloud, and went to Sephiroth, who was still leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

"Come along," she said, feeling like she was speaking to a small child with the way Sephiroth was sulking. She clutched his hand and pulled him towards the door and they went inside and the door shut. Cloud silently prayed that there wasn't going to be a murder on their hands here. However, he hardly doubted Yuffie and Lucrecia's abilities to keep their men in line should any hostility arise. He groaned as he thought about that. Yes, it was official now. However odd and improbable it was, Sephiroth (Shinra's greatest general and former megalomaniac) and Yuffie (Wutainese princess and formerkleptomaniac) were a couple. And apparently Hojo and Lucrecia were still one as well.

He wondered in that moment which he should consider to be the stranger situation: Sephiroth and Yuffie, or Hojo and Lucrecia. Both were fairly incredible. And he thought that fighting Sephiroth and Hojo were difficult. Now, Cloud would have to be _friends_ with them. And what was more, the estranged parent and son would have to get along with each other.

And what on the _planet_ were they going to do about _Vincent_?

_In the spare bedroom…_

Sephiroth and Hojo refused to look at each other for the first few moments. Sephiroth didn't want to see his father because he didn't want to get any angrier than he already was, and Hojo was ashamed to confront his son. A not-so-gentle nudge in the ribs provided by Yuffie caused Sephiroth to take a deep breath and speak through his teeth:

"Hello…"

"Hello…" Hojo replied. Now it was Lucrecia's turn to nudge her husband, and he went on, "how are you?"

"Fine…" Sephiroth gritted his teeth, _As if you ever cared how I was…_ "…How are you?"

"Fine." Hojo didn't expect any more from his son at this point in time. With what Sephiroth knew of the scientist, Hojo had been expecting a fist in the face or worse. Perhaps Sephiroth dreaded Lucrecia's broomstick. But that was silly thought. Why should the great Sephiroth fear something as trivial as that? On the other hand, Lucrecia was no coward with a Nail Bat either.

It didn't get much further than that, and Sephiroth left the room after prying his fingers out of Yuffie's. That left Yuffie awkwardly standing in the room with Lucrecia turning to her husband. They all winced when the sound of the front door slamming echoed throughout the house.

"I'm sorry, Hojo, he…" Lucrecia started.

Hojo raised a hand, "Don't…apologize for his behavior. Don't make excuses for him. I expected nothing from him."

"He just needs time, Hojo…"

Yuffie's eyes widened as she observed the scientist. From the way that everyone thought of Hojo, and spoke of him, he sounded like the most evil person ever to exist. But as she looked at him now, there was an emotion in his eyes that could have been anything from anguish to sorrow. Sorrow, from this man?

"…Is there anything I can do?" Yuffie asked. She found herself feeling very sorry for Hojo, which had previously been totally unacceptable. But looking at him made it hard _not_ to feel some pity for him.

"Leave him to his own decisions," Hojo said.

"Thank you, Yuffie," Lucrecia said.

Yuffie nodded and walked out. Cloud was waiting for her.

After she shut the door, she asked, "He didn't look _too_ upset, did he?"

"Well, he didn't look like he was contemplating murder, but I did hear a healthy slam from the front door. I think a picture fell off the wall somewhere."

"Thank you, Cloud… Cloud, I don't think Hojo…Oh, how do I say this…? I don't think he…"

"…What?"

"I don't think he's dangerous. Not now, at least."

_In the living room…_

"…Apparently that didn't go very well," Shera said, contemplating the picture of the Corel Mountains that fell from the wall as the result of Sephiroth's slamming the door.

"Apparently not," said Tifa, before getting up to reposition the painting.

"At least the house didn't fall down," Reeve remarked.

"Why is Uncle Sephy mad?" Marlene asked her papa.

"Because Uncle Sephy and his papa don't get along very well," Barrett said in a valiant attempt to hide the situation from his daughter.

"Why not?"

"Because his papa wasn't a very good papa to him."

The sound of Yuffie shuffling down the stairs brought everyone's attention to her. Without a word, she went and sat down between Shera and Reeve.

"I think Sephiroth needs some more 'alone' time," she said.

After another moment of silence, Shera said, "I'm going to make some lemonade…"

"I'll help you," Tifa said.

Sephiroth was gone for several hours, and it was dark before the mood shifted in the house. After some careful coaching by Yuffie, everyone agreed to be civil to Hojo, however they felt on the subject. Lucrecia lead the scientist down the stairs. Everyone, including Cid and Red XIII were downstairs, either in the kitchen or the living room. Hojo's expression hardened up considerably from when Yuffie saw him, and it was no doubt his defense mechanism against those he was sure hated him. But he got as far as the living room without incident.

That is, until it was discovered that Vincent Valentine had decided to come home early.

At first, they thought it was Sephiroth coming back from his sulking, but everyone froze with horror when Vincent strode into the living room. Hojo had been preparing to take a seat. Reeve moved to push Vincent out of the living room to better prepare him, but not before the caped man's blood red eyes caught sight of his half-brother, and vice versa.

There was dead silence in the room. Vincent blinked, not knowing what to make of this. He thought perhaps he was suffering from a delusion.

Until Hojo spoke, "Hello, Vincent."

Vincent's face looked rather silly then, sillier than it had ever looked as long as any of the heroes had ever known him. His jaw dropped and his eyes bugged out. He tried to talk, but only small squeaks emerged. But then it contorted into a rather unpleasant grimace.

"What the f…!"

Shera quickly covered Marlene's ears.

Sephiroth chose that moment to return home, through the back door. He froze at the sight in the living room, because he knew of the tense history between Hojo and Vincent. He didn't know what either man would do. Hojo hadn't seen him come in, and really, no one else took notice of him either, except perhaps Yuffie. The shock of Vincent using extreme expletives was too great.

"I came looking for my son," Hojo grimaced back.

"As if you cared enough about him before," Vincent growled.

"As if _you_ knew anything about it!" Hojo hissed.

"I knew enough!"

"You…" Hojo stepped forward, despite Lucrecia's hands on his shoulder, "tried to take him away."

"I did _not_!" Vincent also took a step forward, "_You_ were going to inject him with the new serum!"

"Who told you _that_? Dr. Gast?"

Cloud whispered to Tifa, "I take it Sephiroth's 'him.' You take Shera, Yuffie, and Marlene and go to the kitchen."

Tifa complied with Cloud's request, except that Yuffie refused to go with her. Tifa gave up and took the other females to the kitchen, leaving Yuffie standing between Cid and Barrett. Everyone remaining in the room, including Sephiroth, was too anxious to see how this would turn out to interfere with Hojo and Vincent's interaction.

At Hojo's retort, Vincent paused, but only for a moment, "You…_weren't_ going to inject him with the serum?"

"What serum?"

"…I don't know."

"Exactly!" Hojo snapped. There was another silence, "…You _weren't_ going to take him?"

"Er, no?" Vincent said.

A very pregnant pause followed, and then Vincent said, his anger swiftly returning, "That doesn't change the fact that you shot me anddid experiments on me!"

"That doesn't change the fact that you tried to convince_ my_ wife to run away with you!"

"It doesn't change the fact that you placed me in a coffin, you deranged _jackass_!"

"That was for your own good, you pompous Neanderthal!"

_"Omigosh,"_ thought Yuffie, "_they're name-calling."_

Any fear of a dreadful confrontation faded from Lucrecia's mind and disgust took its place as she buried her face in the palm of her hand. Thirty-two years apparently did not change battle tactics between the two half-brothers. This could get very ridiculous.

You see, the truth of matter was that no matter how ill they spoke of each other and how much they detested the thought of each other's company, Hojo and Vincent had never really hated each other. They had been two very emotionally stunted men who had been thrown together in very awkward circumstances (one being an illegitimate brother who happened to be married to the legitimate brother's object of affection) and one could hardly expect two such men to react to that kind of situation with grace. What they _did _have could be called a strong form of dislike, and dislike hardly equals hate. However, it can often equal hissy fights and clouds of dust and hair, therefore Lucrecia chose that moment to intervene. She had seen enough of Vincent and Hojo's heated "discussions" to know how horrendous they could get, and how childish.

"Oh, _no_, you don't!" she snapped, stepping in between the scientist and ex-Turk, "You two are _not_ going to have a fight in this house." Vincent opened his mouth to said something, and Lucrecia stood on her tip toes and continued, "And _don't…you…tell…me…_to stay out of it! I won't! Sit down! Both of you, _sit down_!"

Vincent had to be prodded out of his shock by Lucrecia grabbing him by his cape and pulling him toward the couch, but Hojo immediately obeyed his wife's request, not wanting to chance another round with the Nail Bat. She wasn't in the best of moods right now.

"And you!" Lucrecia pointed at Sephiroth.

"What did _I_ do?"the silver-haired man frowned.

"You sit down as well."

"Obey your mother…" Hojo muttered grudgingly.

Sephiroth ignored the scientist but sat down anyway. The result was that Vincent, Sephiroth, and Hojo were all seated on the same couch, in that order. Lucrecia stood in front of them, with a scowl that would intimidate a drill sergeant.

"You three are going to get along, or so help me, if I hear one hostile peep, _one hostile peep_, it's _wham_!" She made a motion with one of her fists hitting the other. Seeing the usually kind and sweet Lucrecia in such a state was enough to stun anyone, and the three men sitting in front of her, however strong their feelings were against each other, were not willing to make an objection. She continued, shaking a fist, "Do you understand me?"

They nodded. Hojo was not in the least bit intimidated, but there were many things he didn't want right now. One was an upset Lucrecia, and another was a smack in the face, which he knew she would give him if she were mad enough. It had been done before. Sephiroth and Vincent, still not used to the idea of an angry Lucrecia, could only stare. He actually thought the whole thing was funny, and he was doing everything in his power to keep his trademark grimace on his face. Seeing Vincent and Sephiroth's shocked faces wasn't helping at all, so he looked the other way.

Under the fear of Lucrecia's broomstick, there was no more chaos that night. Supper went all right, and the three men in question didn't speak with each other except in carefully chosen pleasantries under Lucrecia's watchful eye. No one except Cloud and Yuffie tried to converse with Hojo, but their conversations actually went quite nicely, all things considered.

Things were returning to a friendly environment except for one thing. Reeve realized that he now had three roommates, and he was the only one of the four mensleeping in the spare bedroom who did not have a personal vendetta against someone else in the room.

To top it off, he was sleeping in the bed between Vincent and Hojo's. There was no Lucrecia here to protect him, and the fear of being murdered in a crossfire hung heavily upon the engineer's mind. He lay in bed with wide, watchful eyes for at least an hour. Vincent seemed to be asleep, and Hojo wasn't making a sound. Reeve didn't move to see if Sephiroth was awake, for fear of awakening one of the men beside him.

_"Stop being a moron,"_ Reeve thought as he closed his eyes, "_Nothing's gonna happen."_

"Well, everything turned out lovely for _you_, didn't it?" came Vincent's disdainful voice.

"You're still awake?" Hojo groaned.

_"Oh, no_," Reeve cringed under his sheets.

Vincent sat up and spoke coldly, "Just because you can hide behind Lucrecia doesn't mean that I forgive you."

Hojo sat up also, "I wasn't making any attempt to hide behind her. I can take care of myself."

"There's a good many things I've wanted to say to you for a long time," Vincent spoke, "When we found you at the Sister Ray in Midgar, you were too crazy to understand _anything_. I even felt sorry for you. Now I can tell you _exactly_ how I feel about you. _You_ are a…"

Reeve sank back into his mattress as his ears beheld the appalling stream of profanity flowing forth from Vincent's mouth.

"There," Vincent declared after he was finished, "I've said it." He lay back down.

"Fair enough," Hojo also settled back.

There was an all-too-short silence.

"…Aren't you going to curse back?" Vincent said.

"Why should I? I deserved every word."

"…I want you to curse back."

"Too bad; I am not going to."

"Curse back, you barb-headed mad scientist!"

"I will _not_, you trigger-happy dolt!"

_"I don't want to die…I don't want to die…"_ Reeve shuddered.

"Who are _you_ calling a 'trigger-happy dolt'? _You_ shot _me_."

"Will you two…" Sephiroth turned over, irritated,"go to sleep?"

Vincent and Hojo growled but didn't say anything more. Reeve sighed with relief as the two settled down for that last time that night.

He thought.

"Pointy-nosed idiot..." Vincent muttered.

"Scatterbrained popinjay," Hojo murmured.

Sephiroth groaned. He couldn't believe his father and uncle's behavior. They sounded like three year olds.

"Be quiet!" he said.

"Or what?" Vincent petulantly spoke.

"That's what _I_ would like to know," Hojo was raising an eyebrow at his son.

"Please..." Reeve finally said, in a pleading voice, "Please go to sleep...I...I think this has gone far enough."

Vincent and Hojo both opened their mouths to admonish Reeve, and but then simultaneously thought the better of it (probably thinking that Reeve would rattle off to Lucrecia first thing in the morning) and agreed to go tosleep. Sephiroth muttered something like, "Finally..." and Reeve held his breath for a few moments before deciding that at last his roommates were sincere in their surrender.And they were all actually grateful for going to sleep at last. They had all had a most trying day, not to say that tommorrow wouldn't be just as trying. They all dreaded it immensely.

In fact, the only people who got a very good sleep that night were Marlene, Tifa, and Cid. Marlene slept because she was only a small child with no knowledge of the troubles, Tifa slept because of her pregnancy, and Cid had taken a very large sleeping pill.


	24. What A Way To Start Your Day

Kit Thespian: Another chappy! I'm on a roll!

(Cid enters, still garbed in pink tutu)

Cid: Thesp, when're you going to let me take this thing off?

Kit Thespian: All in good time.

Cid: But, _Thesp_, Shera won't come near me until I get this thing off!

Kit Thespian: Can't say I blame her.

Cid: _You're missing the point!_

Kit Thespian: Okay, take it off.

Cid: Hallelujah! (starts to slippink tutu off over jeans.)

Kit Thespian: But before you fully remove it, I want you to do something for me.

Cid (in dread): What?

Kit Thespian: Say the Disclaimer.

Cid: ...And that's it?

Kit Thespian: Yes...oh, and say you love me.

Cid: ...I love you, Miss Kit Thespian.

Kit Thespian: Very nice.

Cid: Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein, and she is not making money off of this.

Chapter Twenty-Four- What A Way To Start Your Day

Reeve was generally the early riser of the lot, but since she wasn't feeling sick, Tifa had decided to get up early this morning as well. The result was the two of them converging on the kitchen at the same time. The time was six o' clock.

"Good morning, Reeve," Tifa spoke.

"Mornin'," Reeve smiled.

"…Nothing horrible happened last night, did it?"

"…Actually, no. We got to sleep eventually. I didn't know Vincent could cuss that well, though."

"Well, Hojo gave us a demonstration, if you'll recall."

"Sheesh…You up to making breakfast?"

"Sure."

"I'll help."

"Thanks."

Tifa got to work on the eggs and bacon while Reeve started mixing pancake batter. A few minutes later, Lucrecia poked her head into the kitchen and looked around. Seeing no one but Tifa and Reeve, she walked in and asked, "Have you seen any of our squabbling three yet this morning?"

"Nope," Tifa said, "They're still sleeping like babies as far as I know."

Lucrecia then thought of something, "Um…Reeve's in here."

"Uh, yes?"

"…That means that the three of them are alone together."

The three stood in silence for a moment, with only the sound of bacon sizzling in the background.

"They'll be all right," Reeve concluded, pouring some batter on the skillet, "I think they understand full well the consequences of not getting along."

Yuffie then shuffled into the kitchen, not quite awake. She was in her bathrobe and pajamas and fluffy slippers. Her hair was spiky and disheveled. She was the perfect picture of a non-morning person. Actually, she had only gotten three hours of sleep the previous night, and still hadn't recovered from the long journey. She yawned and slumped down at the table, laying her head in her arms.

"Good morning…" she muttered, muffled by her arms, "What's for breakfast?"

"Bacon, eggs, and pancakes," Tifa answered.

"Okay…" Yuffie raised her head and roughly blinked her eyes a couple of times, "no sign from our favorite trio yet, I take it."

"No…" Lucrecia said.

"Okay," Yuffie returned her head to its resting spot.

Sephiroth, as it turned out, had awakened only a little while after Reeve and had been taking a shower in the upstairs bathroom, and he emerged into the kitchen about five minutes after Yuffie, dressed in black jeans and a blue t-shirt, with his only-towel-dried hair sticking to his back. Everyone except Yuffie greeted him. Yuffie, it seemed, had gone back to sleep.

"How is everything?" Lucrecia asked her son.

"I suppose it's all right…" he replied, "Hojo and Vincent were just waking up when I left. They weren't calling each other names or anything, though we had to tell them to shut up last night… What exactly _is_ a 'popinjay'?"

"I think it's a guy who is in love with himself," Reeve said.

"…Would that properly describe Vincent?"

"…Depends on how you look at it. You ever see him brush his hair? Sometimes I think I hear him purring; of course, that _could_ be Chaos."

Lucrecia blinked, "Could be what?"

That was when it occurred to everyone else that Lucrecia had no idea that either Vincent or Hojo could change into monsters. The subject had never been brought up and Vincent could never bring himself to tell her previously. And they all silently agreed that it was not the right time to inform her. Hojo or Vincent should be the one to tell her.

"Nothing," Reeve spoke after a hard swallow, "I'm just rambling. Pancakes?"

Sephiroth walked up to the table and observed the sleeping ninja. He then tapped her on the shoulder and she muttered incoherently and gave no other response.

"Good morning," Sephiroth said, trying to get Yuffie to wake up.

Yuffie heavily lifted her head, "Good morning…Oh, hello," she smiled at Sephiroth, "it's you. I'm glad to see you're still alive."

"I wasn't worried about myself more than I was worried about Hojo and Vincent. For an hour, they wouldn't shut their mouths…"

Yuffie grinned mischievously, "Were they calling each other names?"

Sephiroth put a hand to his chin and thought out loud, "Let's see, there was 'scatterbrained popinjay,' 'trigger-happy dolt', 'barb-headed mad scientist'…"

Yuffie had started laughing at the first name and now couldn't stop. She was holding her sides. Reeve groaned at the memory. Tifa didn't really know what to make of it and Lucrecia rolled her eyes.

"I'm glad _you_ think it's funny," Sephiroth said, "I was trying to get to sleep."

"I couldn't sleep either," Yuffie said, "Sit down. Are you going to have breakfast?"

"Yes," he said.

"Cereal and toast and milk?"

"Yes."

"Even with Tifa's bacon and eggs and Reeve's pancakes in the room?" She added with a smirk, "With butter and syrup and…?"

"Yes."

"Gosh, you're picky," Yuffie stood up and went to the cabinet, "I'll fix it for you, then. Not much to it."

"…Maybe I should check on them," Lucrecia had been wondered for the past few minutes what could possibly be keeping her husband and brother-in-law. She knew Vincent was an early riser and Hojo had always been one as well.

"No, if anyone's going to check on them, it'll be me," her son spoke, "But we haven't heard any crash of furniture. Why worry?" After Lucrecia gave him a pleading look, he acceded, "All right, I'll check."

He got up and left the room. Lucrecia thought for a moment and then, smirking, turned to Yuffie, who was pulling down the cereal box.

"Yuffie, sweetie, could you get down two bowls? And don't worry; I'll make the toast."

_The upstairs hallway…_

Sephiroth breathed an irritated sigh as he neared the bedroom door. His mother didn't have to be such a worry-wart. He actually doubted, from their previous behavior, that Vincent and Hojo would ever do anything to harm each other. That would put an end to the obvious fun they had in insulting each other. They were probably reading or sulking or doing anything not to associate with each other. However, he did hear voices coming from inside the bedroom. Curious, Sephiroth stood by the door and listened.

"…So, as result, the world is in a stoic state of anarchy, if that isn't oxymoronic," Vincent was saying, "Got any threes?"

"Go fish," Hojo answered, "So, no one has made any attempt to restore an imperial government. It doesn't surprise me. Got any fives?"

"Go fish."

"No one ever liked Shinra. The Shinras didn't even like Shinra."

"Got any Queens?"

There was a silence as apparently Hojo gave up whatever Queens he had to Vincent's possession. Sephiroth was in too much of a shock to do anything at first, but he had to see this for himself. He carefully opened the door so not to disturb the brothers and peered in. They had taken two chairs from the corner of the room and were using Hojo's nightstand as a card table, to play "Go fish." But, however stealthy he tried to be, Sephiroth's presence still got Vincent and Hojo's attention and they both looked up from their game.

"Good morning," Hojo said. Vincent nodded in acknowledgement of Sephiroth.

"Uh…uh…" Sephiroth's jaw was slack with abashment.

"Is there something you wanted?" the scientist asked.

"Uh…uh…"

"Is breakfast ready?" Vincent asked.

Sephiroth wordlessly nodded, his eyes practically bugging out of his head.

"Tell your mother we'll be along after we wrap up this game," Hojo said, dismissing Sephiroth essentially.

Sephiroth found that he had no use of his limbs; he couldn't move because of shock. No one would ever believe this, _no one_.

"I trust you will shut that door in your own good time, my boy," Hojo said, his eyes on his cards.

"Got any eights?" Vincent asked, no longer paying any attention to Sephiroth.

"Go fish. Of course, who can tell how long this state of anarchy will last. It's the way history goes. Eventually a new leader will rise and take over…"

Sephiroth slowly backed out through the doorway and shut the door. He stood in the hallway for about ten seconds, trying to sort this out in his mind. Didn't Hojo shoot Vincent and scientifically alter him? Didn't Vincent want to cheat with Lucrecia? Didn't Hojo stick Vincent in a coffin? Didn't Vincent shoot Hojo in the head at the Sister Ray?

_Then why were they playing cards together?_

Sephiroth went down the hallway, just conscious enough of his surroundings to step down the stairs when he needed to, and get to the kitchen door. He must have looked like an automaton when he reached the kitchen, because everybody, including his mother, looked at him strangely.

"Sephiroth, are you okay?" Yuffie asked.

"Sephiroth, is everything all right?" Lucrecia asked, "Are Hojo and Vincent all right?"

"They're…" Sephiroth could barely speak, "They're…playing 'Go Fish.'"

"_What?_" Reeve's eyes widened. He took the last pancake from the griddle and put his mitts down, "This I gotta see!" Apparently forgetting his wariness of the strange brothers, Reeve took off for the upstairs. Lucrecia seemed pleased.

"Oh, good," she said, "that's how they got along in the old days: playing cards and talking politics…"

"Politics?" Tifa guffawed, "A scientist and a Turk discussing _politics_? I just can't believe that they're in the same room together…actually tolerating each other. Wait till the others hear this…"

"Here, Sephiroth," Yuffie gently pushed the silver-haired man into the first chair on the end of the table closest to the door, and placed the cereal and toast in front of him at the table and went to get the glass of milk. Sephiroth didn't respond at first; he was still staring straight ahead. When Yuffie came back with the glass of milk, she didn't hide her mirth at the situation.

"So, the great General Sephiroth of SOLDIER, conqueror of nations, is bested by the mere sight of his father and uncle playing _cards_," she chuckled and said in mock-horror, "Oh, the humanity!"

Coming out of his trance, Sephiroth raised an irritated eyebrow at her as he took hold of his spoon and stuck it into his cereal, "Oh, be quiet."

Yuffie giggled again and went to the counter to finish cooking what was left of the pancake batter. There was a nice pile of bacon, scrambled eggs, and pancakes mounting. Yuffie turned around.

"Before the stampede comes to devour the eats, are you _sure_ you wouldn't like any of this?" she asked Sephiroth.

"Very sure."

"Picky-eater."

"Annoying ninja," Sephiroth said, without any tone to his voice.

"Muscle-head," Yuffie calmly flipped a pancake after sticking her tongue out at Sephiroth.

"Great," Tifa said to Lucrecia, "now _they're_ name-calling."

Reeve stumbled back into the kitchen, out of breath, "I arrived just in time to see Vincent beat Hojo. They're coming down now. Hojo muttered something about, 'Just you wait…' Probably not a serious threat, but still…"

"I wouldn't worry," Lucrecia said.

"Good morning, people!" Cloud said, grinning as he walked into the room. He really wasn't as jovial as he looked, but he wanted to start the day off like that. He walked up to Tifa and planted a kiss on her cheek, "Good morning, dear."

"Good morning. You're awfully cheerful this morning."

Cloud paused and said seriously, "Is there a reason I shouldn't be?" He cautiously looked around the room.

"No, nothing's happened. In fact, Hojo and Vincent were playing cards."

Cloud blinked, "…Cards?"

At that moment, Hojo and Vincent walked into the room. Silence fell. The two looked around as if they were oblivious to the fact that they were the reason for the quiet. They glanced at each other and shrugged.

"What's for breakfast?" Vincent asked.

More silence.

"…_Is_ there breakfast? Smells like it."

"Of course!" Tifa interjected, trying to sound normal, "It's bacon, eggs, and pancakes. Have some."

Vincent went forward to the plates and the three piles of food, but Hojo didn't. Lucrecia went to her husband's side and whispered something in his ear. He nodded and muttered, "Thank you," and went to the breakfast table. It looked for a moment that he was going to sit by Sephiroth, but apparently he thought the better of it and took a seat opposite of his son. Sephiroth was busy chewing his cereal and nonchalantly trying not to look at his father. Therefore, he didn't notice when Lucrecia put a bowl of cereal and some toast in front of Hojo. Yuffie, by now, had gotten her plate and sat beside Sephiroth. She had a pancake, two strips of bacon, and a small pile of eggs. She went to work cutting up her pancake before noticing what Hojo was having for breakfast. Hojo didn't seem to notice his son's choice of meal either. Yuffie paused for a moment but then shrugged it off.

But when Sephiroth and Hojo both took their toast, dipped it in their bowls of cereal, and took bites out of them, simultaneously, it was hard not to notice. In fact, they both saw each other doing it as they were biting the toast. They stopped, staring at each other. Hojo had a raised eyebrow and Sephiroth's eyes threatened to bug out again. Hojo calmly finished his bite and went back to his cereal, but Sephiroth's face had turned back into an astounded gawk. Yuffie bit her tongue and turned away to withhold a scream of laughter.

Poor Sephiroth. He didn't want to think that he had anything in common with the man who sat in front of him. He refused to believe it. It was just a coincidence. But then his green eyes caught the cereal. He looked at Hojo's breakfast, and then he looked at his, and then back at Hojo's.

"Er…" Sephiroth braced himself for what was to be his first real attempt at conversation with Hojo, "…Do you always have that for breakfast?"

"Yes," Hojo answered, pretending to be oblivious to Sephiroth's growing anxiety.

Yuffie thought she could hear something resembling a whimper forming in Sephiroth's throat, but he quickly stifled it and went back to his breakfast. She decided it was her turn to attempt conversation.

She couldn't resist saying to the brothers, "So, word on the street says you two like card games."

Hojo stopped in chewing and Vincent paused in bringing a slice of bacon to his mouth and they both looked at the ninja with raised eyebrows. The sight intimidated Yuffie so much that she swallowed and said, "I mean, there's nothing _wrong_ with that…I like card games."

Hojo changed the subject and spoke to people at the table in general, "Well, I'm thinking about writing a letter to a friend in Cosmo Canyon."

"When did _you_ ever have a friend?" Sephiroth muttered.

Hojo frowned at his son, drummed his fingers once on the table, and continued, speaking to Lucrecia, "You remember Edward Rosem, don't you?"

Lucrecia's face lit up, "Of course I remember him! Is he still alive?"

"Hopefully."

"Who is Edward Rosem?" Vincent asked.

"A physicist who worked for Shinra several years ago… He was the one who discovered that Jenova was not an Ancient, and Ilfana _was_."

Tifa blinked, "Aeris' mother?"

Hojo grunted before going on, "It was after this discovery that Dr. Gast fled from Shinra. Since Rosem's discovery made the costly Jenova Project irrelevant, he was number two (next to Dr. Gast) on President Shinra's death list. I warned him to get away and he wrote to me three months later saying that he had reached Cosmo Canyon and planned to live there."

Sephiroth grumbled, "Why weren't _you_ on the death list?"

Hojo scrapped the table with his fingernails, "Since I was only an assistant in the Project, no…_real_ blame could politically be placed on me. Besides, the President made it my task to get the true Ancient and use her to find the Promised Land."

Now it was Tifa's turn to get a little indignant, "And I suppose you enjoyed it."

Hojo gritted his teeth. Vincent didn't say anything, but he didn't look at anyone either. Hojo didn't further acknowledge her statement and he said, "That Sephiroth wasn't an Ancient was never put on file, to avoid talk."

"…So, _that's _why Rufus Shinra thought Sephiroth was an Ancient," Cloud remarked, "I've always wondered about that."

Hojo grumbled, "I really did not like him."

"Can't say we don't share your sentiments on _that_ score," Cloud sighed.

Hojo began to mumble, not unlike he did at Costa del Sol. The words "dullness" and "second-rate scientist" could be heard. At that moment, Barrett, Shera, Red XIII, and Cid entered the kitchen. They pretended that the scientist wasn't there and proceeded to get their breakfast.

"Honey, are you all right?" Lucrecia put a hand on her husband's shoulder.

Everyone looked slightly nauseous all of a sudden. _Honey_? Lucrecia immediately saw the awkwardness and went back to the original subject.

"So, when are you going to write to Rosem?" she asked.

"After breakfast," Hojo answered, "I just hope he still lives."

"Why are you writing to him?" Yuffie asked.

"…He knew more about Jenova than anyone. His knowledge made him dangerous. There were things that he knew that he did not even tell me. I asked him not to. When one has injected a strange substance into oneself…and one's family…it suffices to know that one made a very, very big mistake."

"No need to pour salt in the wound, hmm?" Yuffie spoke.

Now everyone's attention was drawn to Hojo, but he didn't seem to mind anymore. Reeve was standing by the doorway, eating his food and watching the action.

Hojo went on, "Rosem may have a clue as to why Sephiroth, Lucrecia, and I were resurrected."

"Rosem? Edward Rosem?" Red XIII spoke up, after several moments of thought.

"…Yes."

"I know him. He lives in Cosmo Canyon."

Hojo blinked and looked at the red animal. He immediately recognized Red XIII, but felt it wise not bring up their past history. He merely replied to what Red had said, "He _is_ alive?"

"Yes, the last time I was there, which was…four months ago."

"How is he?" Lucrecia cheerily asked.

"Well, he's getting on in years, obviously, but he's one of the nicest individuals I've ever met. Good sense of humor. But he said he was there to research slight of hand and flowers."

Cid blinked, "Slight of hand and _flowers_?"

Hojo rolled his eyes and buried his face in his hand, "That's Rosem, all right. It's just like him to come with a cockamamie tale like that."

"It worked, though," Red XIII said, "I would never have suspected that he was an expert on Jenova."

"Well, I had best start writing that letter," Hojo started getting up from the table. As he approached the door, he turned around, "I don't suppose anyone will direct me to paper and a pen?"

"I'll come," Lucrecia said, getting up.

That left everyone else to breathe a big sigh of relief as soon as the couple was gone. Reeve went and took Hojo's seat while Vincent scooted over and let Cid and Shera sit down. Cloud and Tifa were seated beside Yuffie. Barrett sat at the head of the table by Cloud and Vincent. Sephiroth was now occupied with watching the neat patterns forming in his cereal milk while he stirred it with a spoon. But the scrapping sound his spoon was making on the bottom of the bowl was getting on Cloud's nerves.

"Sephiroth, could you stop that?" he asked.

Sephiroth, in an apparently extremely bad mood now, replied by glowering at the blond warrior and repeatedly scratching the bottom of the bowl for a few seconds before going back to his sulking. Cloud gritted his teeth at the obnoxious sound, but didn't want to start a fight for fear of the incredible mess and emotional trauma that would result from it.

Cloud started tapping his finger against his water glass to outlet his irritation. And it seemed that _that_ was the sort of thing that got on Sephiroth's nerves, because his glower was slowly evolving into his classic glare of doom.

The tension building at the table was interfering with everybody's appetite. Yuffie, almost in tears because of the situation, decided to take her chances.

"Sephiroth," she hissed, "if you're going to be like that, you can _leave_."

Shocked, Sephiroth jerked his head towards the ninja, his eyes widening. Then he sneered, backed his chair up noisily, and walked out of the kitchen, slamming the door behind him and knocking another picture off the wall; this time it was one of Rocket City's countryside.

A couple of moments later, Barrett raised his gun arm, and patted his good hand against his gun arm as a means of applause. Everyone else started clapping as well, even Vincent, though he (like Barrett) gave golf claps considering one of his hands was a claw. Yuffie was too distressed to be complemented. She pushed her plate away and leaned on the table. Her shoulders started to shake. The applause abruptly stopped and everyone stared at her in shock. Tifa immediately left her place at the table and went to Yuffie's side.

"I think you need to get more sleep," Tifa said, rubbing Yuffie's back.

"Yeah, Yuffers, you look pretty pooped," Reeve said, trying to be soothing.

"Come along, sweetie," Tifa started to lift Yuffie out of her chair. Then the others could see that the ninja's face was starting to turn red and tears were streaming. Tifa led her out of the room and as soon as he knew she was out of hearing distance, Barrett slammed his bacon down on his plate.

"That idiot, makin' her cry like that…Heck, he almost made us _all_ cry."

"Something should be done," Vincent said, "before he destroys all of the pictures."

"And our _lives_," Cid grumbled.

Red XIII, who was eating some bacon and eggs from a plate on the floor, lifted his head, "Now that I have seen and spoken with Hojo, I wouldn't mind doing so again. He doesn't seem to be a threat anymore."

"That's what Yuffie said," Cloud took another bite of pancakes. After he swallowed, he thought of something. He looked at Vincent, who was sitting opposite him, "Say, you and Hojo seemed to be getting along just fine and dandy. What's up with that?"

"What do you mean?" Vincent forked some eggs.

"I thought you two hated each other's guts."

"Well, we don't."

"But he did all those things to you…"

It was at this point when Vincent decided, what did it matter? He made sure that no one had food or drink in their mouths when he made his next statement.

"You can't hate your own brother; even a half-brother."

A long pause. Reeve became suddenly occupied with his bacon.

"_Your own **what**_?" Cid nearly shrieked.

"Half…brother…" Vincent said, "Perhaps I should explain."

"Perhaps you should!" Cloud said.

Red XIII left his plate and went to Vincent's side, "Let me get this straight: you and Dr. Hojo are half-brothers, and you never thought the fact was worth mentioning?"

"Actually, I thought it was worth keeping a secret."

"…Good point."

"What are we going to do?" Cloud asked.

"Do?" Vincent raised an eyebrow, "Nothing, I suppose. It really doesn't change anything."

"Doesn't change any… But this means that you're Sephiroth's uncle!"

Vincent took a sip of orange juice, "Brilliant, Strife."

"I always thought there was something strange about you…" After Vincent gave him a strange look, Cloud explained, "beyond the obvious red eyes, claw hand, and icy demeanor, etcetera, that is. _Besides_ the obvious."

Without another word, Vincent got up from the table, took his empty plate and walked towards the sink. He seemed to have changed his mind about explaining.

"Wait, aren't you going to tell us about you and Hojo?" Tifa asked.

Vincent placed his dish in the sink and turned towards the table, "It's a long story. Perhaps I'll tell you later; or you can ask Sephiroth or Lucrecia. They know. Or if you really feel bold, ask Hojo" And he left the room.

"…Sometimes, I _really_ wanna hurt him," Barrett said.

"Not as much as _I_ want to hurt him," Cid said, looking like he was going to bite the head off of his fork.

"I can't _believe_…" Cloud murmured, "Half-brothers?"

"Makes sense, actually," Red XIII said, "Don't you remember? During the entire quest, the only time that Vincent displayed anger towards Dr. Hojo was at the Sister Ray, and even after that, Vincent apparently pitied to him. Of course, he was angry yesterday, but that's completely understandable and probably by no means originates from malice."

"…What?" Barrett asked.

"Good morning, Papa!" Marlene skipped into the kitchen from the doorway and jumped on Barrett's side.

"Well, hello there, sugar," Barrett let Marlene crawl into his lap, "Want some breakfast?"

"Yes, Sir!"

"I'll get it," Shera said, getting her own empty plate and rising from the table, "What would you like, sweetie?"

While Marlene went over to the counter with "Auntie Shera," she asked, "Why was Uncle Sephy so mad? He stomped up the stairs."

"Because Auntie Yuffie told him off," Cid said.

Marlene blinked, "Why?"

"Uncle Sephy wasn't being very nice, Marlene," Shera carefully explained, "But it'll be all right in a little while."

"But Uncle Sephy is good," Marlene said, "Why is he being mean?"

"Because…Oh, Marlene, don't ask."

"Why not?"

"We'll tell you when you're older, baby," Barrett said.

"…Is it because of Mr. Hojo?" Marlene said.

"…Why do you say that?" Cloud spoke.

"I don't know. Uncle Sephy's been grouchy ever since Mr. Hojo came. I don't know why; Uncle Reeve says that Mr. Hojo is sad. Shouldn't we be nice to him?"

"I believe my choice of words was, 'sad, bad madman,'" Reeve remarked.

"But shouldn't we be nice to him?" Marlene repeated, "He's a little scary, but that doesn't mean he's bad."

"…Marlene," Cloud said, "let the grown-ups handle this."

"I don't know," Reeve said in response to Cloud, "we're not handling it so far."


	25. Glaring Contest

(Kit Thespian, Reeve, and Yuffie enter the stage, holding fortune cookies)

Kit Thespian: How often do y'all get fortune cookies?

Yuffie: Not often. (to herself) _They've got to be better than Cait Sith's fortunes_.

Reeve: Hey!

Kit Thespian (leers): No fights! Or, I think you _know_ what will happen…

(Reeve and Yuffie clam up like oysters)

Kit Thespian: Good. (opens her fortune cookie) Mine says, "Good fortune will come to you if you use your talents wisely."

Reeve and Yuffie: Oooh…

Kit Thespian: What do yours say?

Yuffie (opens hers): "Give friends your trust and they will repay in kind."

Kit Thespian and Reeve: Oooh…

Yuffie: Reeve?

Reeve: This is gonna be good, I can tell! (opens fortune cookie) It says, "Help! I'm being held hostage in a fortune cookie factory!"

Kit Thespian and Yuffie: (Silence)

**Disclaimer**: Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making money off of this.

_Author's note: I saved an online picture from Dirge of Cerberus while looking for photos of Hojo. The one I saved has a huge picture of Vincent on it. I spied something very interesting about Vincent's claw arm, and the opportunity proved too irresistible. You'll see what I'm talking about (evil snicker)._

Chapter Twenty-Five- Glaring Contest

"Can you ever forgive me?" Lucrecia tearfully asked her husband while he was writing his letter in the library of the house. It was about ten o' clock in the morning. They had alternated between Hojo's writing and conversation. They were quite alone, so she didn't worry about him feeling insecure about revealing things about himself to the others. But in the process of asking him, he had told her something she'd never heard before. And she was sure that very few others had heard it as well.

"For what?" Hojo asked, "What was your doing in the whole matter?"

"I didn't give you a chance to explain yourself! It's _my_ fault we were separated."

"Nothing would have changed that, Lucrecia. They had planned to send you away before you lashed anything out at me. No blame is placed on you, and no blame _should_ be."

Lucrecia sniffled and blew her nose on a kleenex that Hojo had just handed her. She then asked, "…What did Dr. Gast tell you happened to me?"

"…After you passed out, he told me that you were to be sent to a rehabilitation facility. I was not allowed to join you. A few weeks later, he told me a story that you had become depressed…and killed yourself. Was it true?"

More tears fell down Lucrecia's cheeks as she shook her head. Hojo looked away, and said, "What happened?"

"…I haven't told anyone, not even Sephiroth. I didn't want anyone to be afraid of me…"

"There is little you could say at this point that would make me afraid of you."

"…They took me to a remote place, near a waterfall. To this day, I don't know where it is. We had to go there by submarine. When I came back to life, I was near Cosmo Canyon. They tried to execute me by lethal injection, but my body rejected the poison. Then they tried to shoot me, but the bullets would come out and my body would be healed. Then one of the soldiers grabbed my shoulder, saying he was going to drown me…and there was a big flash of light, and the all of the soldiers dropped dead on the floor. I've never understood it, and I don't know why it happened. I know it was the Jenova cells, but I don't know why they did that. When they sent people to find out what had happened to the soldiers, I went and hid in the waterfall. They didn't search for me long. I waited to die, but I didn't die; for years, I didn't die. I couldn't. Eventually, Vincent and the others found the cave. I don't know what they were doing there. They obviously didn't know I was going to be there. I remember Vincent approaching me and I had to shout at him to stay back; I didn't know what would happen if he touched me, if he would die or not. And…there were the voices. I thought I was going crazy."

Hojo's eyebrows perked up, "Voices?"

"Voices would say things in my head, _horrible_ things. Like…you never cared for me, and you were doing terrible things to Sephiroth. I never fully believed them, but for while, I…I doubted. I'm so sorry…"

Hojo looked ahead, settling back in his chair. For a moment, he didn't speak. Lucrecia bowed her head, thinking that he was perhaps upset with her. But then he spoke.

"There's nothing to forgive, Lucrecia. It wasn't you. I heard them too."

Lucrecia's jaw dropped, and she said, her voice quiet, "Jenova?"

"I think we should ask Vincent, Sephiroth, and Cloud Strife if they ever, er, 'heard the voices.' They are the only ones left alive that had the sameserum of Jenova cells that we did. Normal SOLDIERS were given a diluted serum that wouldn't link with them genetically." Lucrecia couldn't say anything for a moment, and in the meantime Hojo signed his letter and placed it in an envelope and sealed it. He thought for a moment, and then said, taking his pencil and an extra sheet of paper, "I'll have to ask Red XIII what Rosem's address is. I've forgotten." He turned back to his wife, "…Don't worry about it. Please, Lucrecia."

"…I listened to those voices for thirty years and you're asking me not to worry about it?"

"If anyone's going to worry about it, I will, all right? And it won't do us any good if you worry yourself to death. And you can do it too; I remember."

At that moment, the couple heard stomping footsteps coming down the stairs and into the hallway. Hojo still had his pencil and paper in his hands.

"…I think that's our son," Lucrecia said.

"I think so, too."

"Sounds like he's coming this way."

"I want no interference this time, Lucrecia. I can handle him…"

Right as Hojo said that, the library door opened and the silver-haired man strode in with a grimace on his face. After shutting the door behind him (surprisingly he didn't slam it), he approached his father, who had not moved from his position at the writing desk.

"I'm going to talk to you," he then said to Lucrecia, "Mother, you'd better leave."

"I'm not going!" Lucrecia stood up, "Sephiroth, there's something we…"

"Lucrecia," Hojo spoke, "please go."

"But…"

"Lucrecia," Hojo stared at his wife square in the eye, "I know what I'm doing. Go."

Hojo had been dreading confronting his son, but now had enough confidence to do so. Lucrecia having so much faith in him helped. She and Rosem had been the only people to ever have faith in him. He was no saint, and he knew it, but he was trying. Now that he had fully collected himself, he knew he could hold his own, even against Sephiroth.

Lucrecia looked back and forth between her husband and her son before reluctantly walking towards the door. After she was gone and the door was shut, Sephiroth spoke (he was clearly livid), "All right, let's get one thing straight: the only reason I'm talking to you is so Yuffie will quit pouting."

"And it upsets you to see her so; I know the feeling," Hojo straightened his glasses, "So, you've fallen in love with her? Rather ironic."

"What do you mean by 'ironic'?"

"Being of Wutainese extract, one would think that she'd harbor some resentment. Love will find a way, I suppose."

"What do you know about love?"

Hojo's eye twitched, "A little more than you think, apparently."

Sephiroth bit his tongue as he thought of something. He hadn't thought about it for a while; there really hadn't been a need to think of it. But now that it was brought back to his memory, he had to ask.

"Hojo, why did you…?" this was harder than he thought, "Why did you…?"

"Inject myself with Jenova cells?"

"No."

"Inject you and your mother?"

"No."

"Inject Vincent?"

"No."

"…Kill Dr. Gast?"

"No."

"Than what?"

"Why did you…put that chip in my brain?"

"…What chip?"

Sephiroth resisted the urge to strangle the skinny man standing before him and replied through his teeth, "The _chip_; the one you put in my brain to keep me from…I would get a shock whenever…"

Hojo's eyebrows raised, "Oh…_that_ chip."

"Yes, _that_ chip!"

"I told you why."

"But you didn't tell me that it would hurt so much!"

"…It hurt?"

"Of course, it hurt!"

"Hmm…it wasn't programmed to cause a goodly amount of pain; just a little shock, like if there's too much static electricity in one's fingers and one touches metal. You should've come to me and told me."

"I should've…_what_?"

"There's no need to shout. Just how much did it hurt?"

"I would get muscle spasms in my neck and headaches after a really bad episode."

Hojo spoke sincerely, with the very slightest tinge of patronizing, "You should've told me. I had no idea it hurt you that badly."

After years and years of blaming Hojo for his suffering, Sephiroth was not ready and willing to accept the fact that perhaps he could have done something about it. Because if he accepted that fact, he would also have to accept that there was no one to blame but himself. That only made Sephiroth angrier and angrier, and he showed it. However, Hojo didn't waver from his position. He stood still, with his hands behind his back, looking up at his son and waiting for a reply.

Sephiroth chose that moment to release his glare of doom. He had always wanted to give Hojo the glare, and now was as good a time as any. He glowered with all of his might, waiting for Hojo to cringe with fear. At this short range, there was no doubt about the results.

However, Sephiroth made a grave miscalculation. He forgot from which side of his gene pool that the glare of doom had sprung. Hojo's family on both sides had a long line of intimidating glares, only growing greater with the time. Now, Hojo had married Lucrecia, who, while she could give someone what-for with a blunt object, was not genetically disposed towards heinous glaring. As a result, her gentle genes had filtered into Hojo's glare genes, and, while not making Sephiroth's glare ordinary, was only half of the glory that the glare had once been. However, Hojo's glare was untouched by any genes of mildness. If Sephiroth's glare caused weak knees and bladders, Hojo's caused seizures and massive internal hemorrhaging

And Hojo had had just about enough of Sephiroth's attitude.

Sephiroth felt his own glare weaken and relax as he beheld the horror that enfolded before him. First, Hojo's yellow eyes widened a little bit and the lower lids came up to form the most horrible slits. His eyebrows furrowed, and a sneer formed and deepened on his visage. Then he straightened his back (Sephiroth could hear the vertebrae popping) and stretched to his full height, which was easily 5'10" or 5'11". He hadn't stood so straight in years, but this was a special occasion. That put his eye level uncomfortably close to Sephiroth's.

Since no one had ever had the courage to confront him in such a fashion in his life, Sephiroth never knew true terror until this moment. He tried to back away, but he was already standing against the wall. Hojo's face inched closer, and then he reached up and took Sephiroth by the chin. Sephiroth could feel a whimper forming in his throat.

Hojo growled, "Are you…_sassing_ me?"

The reply was barely audible, "No."

"Good." Hojo then bent down and backed away and acted as if he never glared, "Sephiroth, something came up between your mother and me only a few moments ago. Have you ever heard voices?"

Sephiroth didn't answer, still looking completely horrified.

"Come now, Sephiroth," Hojo rolled his eyes, "It wasn't _that_ terrifying."

"Yes…it was…"

Hojo had long known the power of his glare. He used it sparingly, because his trademark grimace was enough to give him the reputation of having a perpetual bad mood. He had actually practiced the glare in front of the mirror several times, perfecting it to the spotless piece of unspeakable horror that it was to this day. On one hand, he was glad he hadn't lost his touch. On the other hand, waiting for an answer from Sephiroth was becoming tiresome.

"If I promise you to let you watch me give the glare to Cloud Strife someday, will you calm down?" Hojo was speaking in a tone that sounded a bit like offering a candy bar to a five-year-old.

And Sephiroth seemed to receive it in the same fashion, though perhaps with a little less enthusiasm than a five-year-old; the thought of Cloud's reaction was more delicious than any candy bar, "All right."

"Anyway, did you ever hear any voices?"

Sephiroth, once he realized what Hojo was truly asking, narrowed his eyes.

"Voices…you mean, in my head?"

"What else?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because your mother and I heard them as well. I heard them ever since I received the injection over thirty years ago, but until I moved the Jenova creature from Nibelheim to Midgar, I didn't realize that it was the Jenova creature speaking to me. It spoke so subtly, I perceived it as my own thoughts. Did It speak to you? From what I've heard, It did."

"…I heard the voices when I went to Nibelheim…seven years ago. I heard them constantly then, until I was killed a year ago."

"And what did they say?"

"They told me I was a _thing_ created in a laboratory…They told me that I…had a higher destiny…and so forth." The ridiculous promises made by Jenova didn't seem worth repeating.

Hojo rubbed his chin, "Why were you sent to Nibelheim in the first place?"

"Don't you know?"

"No. I wouldn't have sent you within a hundred miles of that town, considering its history. I didn't find out about your being there until I received that desperate phone call from Strife saying you'd gone insane."

"Why would he call _you_?"

"SOLDIERS and troopers were all secretly told to contact me if anything strange happened to you. The President thought I would have a better idea of how to handle the situation. I think he just didn't want anything to do with it. He didn't care for you very much."

A loud screech coming from the living room interrupted the conversation. It sounded like a man's screech. Father and son gave each other strange looks, and then left the library and headed for the living room. Hojo still had his pencil and paper in hand. The scream had also summoned Yuffie (she had been drying her hair after a shower), Tifa, Cloud, Vincent, and Reeve into the den, only to find Cid Highwind perched on the top of the sofa nearest the back door, in front of the fireplace. Lucrecia, Marlene, and Barrett were outside. Apparently they hadn't heard the noise.

"Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!" the pilot uncharacteristically cried out.

All eyes turned to the floor, to find a small rat sitting on the wood, rubbing its face and squeaking casually. And, uncharacteristic of rats, it seemed to be oblivious to the fact that there was a rather large being pointing its finger at it and yelling in terror. Instead of taking action, the other adults in the room were staring at Cid.

"…You're scared of rats?" Cloud unnecessarily asked.

"Do something!" Cid ignored the question, "Do anything! _I hate rats!_"

When Cid began work on the crashed rocket in Rocket Town, he had stumbled across an old storage room infested with rats. They had crawled all over him, some had bitten him. Some had gotten in his clothes and underclothes and it was nearly an hour before he was rid of them all. He had a deep enmity towards the animals since then.

Shera, who had been in the basement, rushed into the room, saw the situation.

"Oh, _Cid_," she groaned, "Not again."

Yuffie chuckled and approached the rat, "It's only a _little_ rat. It's cute."

"Don't touch it!" Cid exclaimed, "They're diseased! They bite!"

"They do _not_," Yuffie knelt by the rat, and scooped it up, "Why, it's perfectly tame! I wonder if it's an escaped pet. How did it get in the house?" She walked towards Cid and held the rat up in her hands, "See? It's not that bad."

"Gyaaahh!" Cid, writhing in revulsion, lost his balance and fell backwards off the couch, crumpled the floor, and did a backwards somersault straight into the unused-but-very-dirty fireplace.

"Fine, if you're going to be that squeamish!" Yuffie ignored Cid's dilemma and went to the back door and let the rat out. After she shut the door, she turned back to the fallen pilot, "There, it's gone."

"Wash your hands!" Cid was coughing from the ashes that got stuck in his mouth and he was still not quite out of his fluster, "You don't know where that thing's been!"

"Speaking of washing," Shera put her hands on her hips, "you march straight upstairs to the bathroom and get cleaned up. I'll bring you some clean clothes."

"Yeah, Cid," Reeve grinned, "you look like a perfect little chimney sweep."

Cid grimaced at Reeve, cursed under his breath, and headed for the upstairs bathroom. It was a good thing the floors were wooden, or Tifa would have had a fit about the soot everywhere. A moment after Cid disappeared in the stairwell, Red XIII entered the living room, rather nonchalantly. Cloud and Tifa went out of the living room, shaking their heads and suppressing laughter, just as he walked in. He looked at the trail of soot leading from the fireplace, and the presence of most of the household in the living room, and said, "Did I miss something?"

"You missed a most entertaining scenario in which Mr. Cid Highwind was exceedingly frightened by a small rat," Hojo said, straightening his glasses.

"Really? I was wondering what all the fuss was about."

Yuffie left the room to wash her hands in her bathroom, giving a questioning look towards Hojo and Sephiroth as she left. That left Vincent, Hojo, Sephiroth, Reeve, and Red XIII. Vincent had remained silent the entire time until now.

"You know," he said, "I almost laughed."

"Me as well," Hojo said. He turned to Red, producing his pencil and paper, "I need Rosem's address. Would you be so kind…?"

"…Sure," Red answered. If helping Hojo contact Edward Rosem was going to help them get to the bottom of the resurrections, Red was willing to help in anyway possible, as long as it didn't involve living in a laboratory again. But Hojo displayed no plans for that.

Sephiroth had gone into the foyer, heading for the front door when Yuffie emerged from her bedroom and noticed his leaving. She stopped him as he was turning the doorknob.

"Hey," she said, "I…I saw you come from the library with Hojo. Were you…talking?"

Sephiroth looked at the doorknob, "More or less."

"…It didn't go well?" _Again?_

"Depends on how you look at it…"

"Are you going to take a walk?" Yuffie spoke up. She could very plainly see that Sephiroth was not ready and willing to give an explanation. Perhaps once he got some fresh air he would open up.

"Yes."

Yuffie tried to look as cute as possible, "Mind if I come with you?"

"All right."

"Could you wait a moment so I can get into some clothes?"

"Sure."

Well, that was easy. Yuffie hadn't been sure that he would want her along, after their little snapping fest earlier that morning. They still hadn't reconciled that. Yuffie rushed to her room and changed into some outside clothes. She brushed the tangles out of her hair, grabbed her Conformer, and went to the foyer. She noticed Sephiroth's Masamune still leaning against the wall. She poked her head out the front door; Sephiroth was waiting on the porch.

"You may want to come get your sword," she said, "We might meet some monsters." Sephiroth complied, but didn't say anything.

After they left, Hojo put the copy of Rosem's address he had just written in his pocket, thanked Red XIII, and then turned to Vincent, "Vincent, do you mind if I ask you something?"

"No," Vincent answered. Red and Reeve waited with baited breath to see what Hojo could possibly want.

Hojo continued, "I've wondered, since I've gotten here…" He gestured towards Vincent's claw arm, "I don't remember doing anything to your arm. How did you lose it?"

Vincent looked thoughtful for a moment, and then he turned to Red and Reeve and said, "I'm afraid that this must be between me and Hojo, alone."

"…Oh," Red XIII blinked, "All right."

"Are you sure?" Reeve asked, "Because we're here for you, Vincent."

"I am quite sure, thank you," Vincent replied.

Reeve bit back a protest and went with Red XIII to the kitchen. After Vincent was sure that no one was in sight, he turned back to Hojo, put his right hand to the claw end of his left arm, and began to pull. Hojo was rendered speechless as the claw came off to reveal a perfectly normal and healthy arm.

"I didn't lose it," Vincent said, with the ghost of a grin on his face, "But it makes for a very intimidating image."

"…Why do you wear it?" Hojo asked, on the verge on laughing himself.

"I woke up with it in the coffin. I really don't know how it got there. You didn't put it there?"

"No."

"I didn't wake up in the same clothes either. I woke up in this leather and red cape ensemble… Actually, the claw's quite comfortable. I take it off to shower, but other than that, I always wear it. But, er…" Vincent indicated the kitchen door, "Let's keep it hush-hush. I have an image to maintain."

_The outskirts of Kalm…_

Sephiroth and Yuffie didn't speak to each other for quite a few minutes. They were near the beach now. The journey had been peaceful; in other words, no monsters.

Surprisingly enough, Sephiroth was the first to speak up.

"Hojo had something interesting to ask me," he said.

"What?"

"He asked me about the voices."

"Voices?"

"Jenova."

"Oh."

"As it turns out, he had heard such voices for years, but they spoke to him more subtly. It was difficult for him at first to distinguish what was his own mind and what was not. We both decided it was Jenova's voice, acting like our own consciousnesses. It makes sense."

"Cloud talked about the voices after Meteor was destroyed, but I don't think he was hearing Jenova, except when he thought it was you. Judging from how nutty Hojo was when we found him on the Sister Ray, the Jenova voice probably said something like, 'If you strike the crater with the Mako energy, your son will become a _god_!' Something like that. I don't even know if he could've answered, 'What's two plus two?' at that point."

"Hmph."

"Hey, you weren't any better while you were floating twenty feet in the air with a wing instead of a right arm…Sephiroth, I'm sorry for yelling at you this morning."

"Don't mention it. I was behaving childishly. I _am_ sorry."

"That's all right."

By this time, they had reached the beach. It really wasn't a _beach_, because it was on the shore of a very wide river, but it had white sand and water gently lapping up against the coast, so it was good enough. The couple sat down, placing their weapons to the side. The sky was cloudy that day, so the sun wasn't beating down on them. Yuffie thought that some sunny day, they needed to plan some swimming, or something.

"You know," she said, "we don't get nearly enough 'us' time."

Sephiroth blinked, "'Us' time?"

"You and me. A lot of stuff has been happening, with…you know… If I didn't know that you weren't the impulsive type, I'd ask you to run away with me to Icicle Inn, or some such place. And everything else would be behind us."

"Old 'Feather-head' wouldn't be that far behind us. He'd hunt us down."

"Cloud? We could outwit him. It's not _that_ hard."

Sephiroth hung his head, "I wish we _could_ run away. But not now; there are too many unanswered questions, too many responsibilities."

"Well," Yuffie leaned her head on Sephiroth's shoulder, "it's so quiet here. We could pretend for a little while that we _have_ run away together, and everything is hundreds of miles away from us, and the only cares we have in the world are getting food, shelter, and putting up with each other's antics."

"I have antics?"

"You have subtle antics," Yuffie giggled. She took Sephiroth's arm and wrapped it around her, "Just relax. Listen to the water. Listen to the wind. Nobody but you and me…"

"You sound like one of those relaxation tapes Zack had to play to cure his insomnia."

"Oh!" Yuffie playfully slapped Sephiroth's shoulder, "You're ruining the mood! Pay attention…"

Sephiroth, with a smirk on his face, wrapped his arms around Yuffie to keep her still. She struggled, but to no avail. She took it good-naturedly, performing the obligatory kicking of her feet against the sand and laughing at the same time.

"Let me go, you big oaf!" she protested.

"You wish!"

"See? _Here's_ a good example of your antics!"

"I'll give you 'antics'." And he started to tickle her.

"You wouldn't da… Hee hee hee! Stop that!"

"You are extremely ticklish."

"Stoooopp!'

"Make me."

But Yuffie was too busy defending herself against the tickling to form any sort of formidable offense. Once Sephiroth decided that her face was red enough and her veins were bulging enough from laughing, he quit. She lay down on the ground for a moment, recovering from the ordeal.

"Just you…Just you wait…" she panted. She sat up, "I'll get you back…"

"I'm not ticklish."

"Oh, yeah?" And she started to tickle his underarms, but it seemed to have no effect. Then she tried his sides; again, he didn't flinch.

Sephiroth said, "I told you; I'm not ticklish."

"Everyone has a tickle spot; I just need to find yours."

"Your efforts would be futile."

"Oooh…You're a jerk." Yuffie had a mischievous look on her face.

"Have I told you how nice you look today?"

"Don't try to change the subject; you're still a jerk."

"I was being sincere."

"…Thanks."

"You smell nice too. What's it called?"

"Shampoo and conditioner."

"Oh."

"I can't stand perfume; it dries my throat out."

"I never cared for the stuff either."

"Well," Yuffie leaned her head back on Sephiroth's shoulder, "what else do you want to talk about?"

"Let's not talk."

"Okay…" Yuffie then lay down on the sand, "This is actually pretty relaxing; the scenery, I mean. Oh, sorry…shutting up now."

Sephiroth lay down beside her. She couldn't resist asking, "You don't mind your hair getting all sandy?"

"I'll brush it out."

Yuffie scooted next to Sephiroth and rested her head on his chest. She was actually feeling rather tired after the tickle episode. After he put an arm around her, Yuffie felt assured enough to close her eyes and rest. She thought maybe he would go to sleep too.

Actually, he was wide awake, thinking. His mind went back to what Hojo had said at the breakfast table earlier that morning. What if this Dr. Rosem had the solution to the mystery? And, of course, something else nagged at Sephiroth's mind. What if the purpose of his and his parents' resurrections was ill-intended? Up to this point, he and the others had taken for granted that the Crisis was destroyed, but was It really? What if…what if Jenova were still alive, just bidding Its time until it could take Its puppets again? Sephiroth's grip around Yuffie became tighter as he thought of it. Jenova had nearly made Cloud kill Aeris. The attempt didn't succeed, but Cloud didn't have as much Jenova cells as Sephiroth had. What if Jenova saw fit to have Sephiroth kill…?

No, it was ridiculous. Nothing could ever make him hurt Yuffie, ever. And they didn't know if Jenova was alive. He was probably thinking nonsense. AVALANCHE had destroyed Jenova, leaving Sephiroth to his own madness until his end in the Crater. That was what they believed. Sephiroth believed it.

…He _had_ to believe it.


	26. A Change of Pace

(Kit Thespian walks in)

Kit Thespian: It's Cloud's turn today!

(Cloud walks in)

Cloud: This is so undignified.

Kit Thespian: And not only is he going to give the Disclaimer, he's going to sing a song!

Cloud: Song?

Kit Thespian: Yup, "The Cloud Song"

Cloud: Aw, Thesp, not that!

Kit Thespian (leers): It's either that, or I snap my fingers and…

Cloud: Okay! (sulks) I'll sing it…

Kit Thespian: And you have to do the voice!

Cloud: (groans, and holds nose. Starts singing in chipmunk voice):

_My name is Cloud  
__I have a sword  
__I fight cactaurs  
__Because I'm bored_

_I like to ride  
__On chocobos  
__It's better than  
__Having afros_

_And when I walk  
__Into an inn  
__Fifteen seconds  
__It's day again_

_And I will use  
__My phoenix down  
__So when I die  
__Iwill not frown_

_Because I am Cloud  
__My hair defies all gravity  
__And I can't have too many po'shuns  
__Or else I might get cavities_

_If I can't slice you  
__Than that's okay  
__I'll use my magic  
__Anyway_

_And I will defeat  
__That Sephiroth  
__Because he's not  
__David Lee Roth_

Sephiroth: …Who the heck is David Lee Roth?

Cloud: Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein and she is not making money off of this.

_Author's note: The Cloud Song isn't mine either. It was written by a creative young lady named Nellie Melton. It's posted on Deviant Art. Just type "Cloud Song"._

Chapter Twenty-Six- A Change Of Pace

Sephiroth hadn't nodded off to sleep for thirty minutes when he was roused by quiet chatting. He didn't move or open his eyes. He could still feel Yuffie resting her head on his chest, not stirring a bit and still steadily breathing, asleep.

"Well…it's a good thing that Strife didn't find them like this. He strikes me as the type to jump to conclusions. But I don't think anything happened."

It was Hojo's voice. Sephiroth maintained all the control he could muster not to move and give away his awakened state. What was the scientist doing out here?

"You're right; it's so sweet and innocent," that was Lucrecia; he could hear her footsteps quietly approaching, "let's get a closer look."

"I wouldn't venture too close," Sephiroth heard Vincent's voice, "Sephiroth probably still withholds his reflexes from the war days."

"He's my _son_, Vincent. He won't do anything rash."

"…I wish I had your confidence."

"We should probably wake them up though, before the others get here. I honestly don't know what everyone's worried about."

"I could think of a few things..."

Everyone? How long had Sephiroth and Yuffie been there? It was then when the silver-haired man noticed that it was getting dark outside. He opened his eyes and raised his head. The sun, concealed by clouds, was nearing the horizon. Sephiroth bit his tongue as he thought of all the assumptions that could be made by this. He knew that in Wutainese culture, Yuffie would be ruined by reputation alone, and a "shuriken" wedding would be called for. Sephiroth was actually quite relieved that his parents were the ones to find them.

Lucrecia giggled when she saw the blank look on her son's face, "Good evening, Sephiroth. We were all worried about you."

Sephiroth looked behind him to find Lucrecia standing not four feet away from him, "Good evening, Mother," he said. He then saw Vincent and Hojo standing a little further off. His movement woke Yuffie. Once she got a look at the dim sky, she sat bolt upright.

"Omigosh!" she exclaimed, brushing her hair away from her face and the sleep out of her eyes, "What time is it?"

"I would estimate about five-thirty," Hojo replied.

"Five-thirty…! Eep!" Yuffie noticed Hojo,Lucrecia, andVincentfor the first time, and laughed nervously, "Hey, guys, er…it's not what you think."

"We didn't think it was," Vincent said.

Yuffie jumped up, "We were just taking a walk…Oh, the others aren't _too_ upset, are they?"

Lucrecia smirked, "Well, there _was_ the first few minutes of Cloud, Barret, and Cid babbling something about malicious kidnapping, but fortunately Tifa and I were able to talk sense into them. We guessed that you were just out walking."

"However, you two being covered in sand probably won't speak well for your images," Hojo remarked, "I just thought I'd warn you."

"Oh, dear…" Yuffie frantically started to brush away the sand on her clothes and hair. She and Sephiroth had accumulated quite a bit when he had tickled her. It did not come across well at all. Sephiroth took her hands and put them at her side.

He looked at her square in the eyes, "They'll either believe us or they won't." He took a firm hold of her right hand, "Come along."

_Back at the house..._

"Just _where_ did you think you two were going? Scaring us to death?" Cloud hissed at Yuffie and Sephiroth. He was standing in front of the couple in the living room. Standing near him were Tifa, Barret, Cid, and Red XIII. Vincent, Hojo, and Lucrecia had gone to the kitchen to get something to eat. Lucrecia had wanted to stay and help her son, but Hojo said that Sephiroth needed to fight his own battles and was quite capable of doing so. They would only help if it were absolutely necessary. Reeve had gone to the kitchen to retreat from the confrontation that he knew would ensue. Shera had taken little Marlene to the treehouse. Tifa had been waiting at the house with Reeve when the missing couple returned. Tifa then called Cloud and Cid to tell them that Sephiroth and Yuffie were at the house. Nothing was said until everyone was back.

"Look, Cloud," Yuffie said, "We just needed to talk. Things have been getting tense here, in case you haven't noticed..."

"We _have_ noticed, Yuffie," Tifa said, gently, "and that's why you don't need to wander off like that. I mean...it was very reckless of you. Both of you."

"Tifa," Sephiroth spoke, his voice calm, but firm, "I hold you in the highest respect. You readily accepted my apology when I gave it and were willing to forgive me. However," he narrowed his eyes at Cloud, "I think that Yuffie and I are 'grown up' enough to look after ourselves for a few hours. And you have my word of honor, if that will mean anything to you, that we did _not_ have sex."

Cloud turned bright red and Tifa's jaw dropped. Cid turned white and Barret slowly started to get angry. Red remained stoic (but I think if he were human, he would have been blushing as well). Sephiroth continued, "Don't look so shocked. You're not concerned about our _safety_."

"Sephiroth..." Cloud gritted his teeth.

"All that any of you wished to know was whether or not one of your dear friends was being seduced by the evil Sephiroth."

"He's right," Yuffie said, collecting herself, "I'm responsible for my actions too, you know. Even if anything _had_ happened (which it _didn't_) it wouldn't have been all his fault. But you would have acted like it was and and you would've just said I was an innocent victim. I understand why you're worried, but this is my choice and I am willing to accept the consequences!" Yuffie took a step towards Cloud, "He's not a monster!"

"Yuffie, please..." Red spoke.

Yuffie ignored him, "Stop looking for excuses to treat him like one!"

Cloud scowled at Yuffie, and then turned back to Sephiroth, "Very well, but I want a word alone with you. Now."

"But..." Yuffie started.

"Yuffie, go," Sephiroth said. He almost groaned as he thought that Hojo and Lucrecia had repeated this same exercise earlier that day. He hoped that Yuffie would be as compliant as his mother. Tifa helped by going over toYuffie and taking her gently by the shoulders, softly urging her to come with her to the kitchen with the others. Everyone else had already left the room.

Once Cloud and Sephiroth were alone, Cloud began, "I hope you remember what we discussed a few weeks ago. That still stands. If you hurt her, you're dead."

Sephiroth did not verbally respond, but keep his gaze on level with Cloud's.

Cloud continued, "Yuffie obviously trusts you. I even find myself trusting you, just a little. However, how do any of us know that your madness is over?"

Sephiroth blinked, a little unnerved by this question. He had been thinking of the exact same subject at the beach. And he wondered just how long Cloud had been thinking of it. He did not answer.

"You seemed to carry on just fine in your attack on us in the crater, without 'Mother'. We all seem to take for granted that you are perfectly rational now, but I want to know...do you know that this will last forever? Do you know that you won't go insane again...and possibly hurt or kill Yuffie? Do you _know_?"

Sephiroth wanted to say 'yes,' but the word got caught in his throat. He could do nothing for a moment but stare numbly at Cloud. The truth flooded into his mind at full force. His stomach became knotted; he knew the answer to Cloud's question, but did he dare say it?

"Do you?" Cloud repeated, his Mako blue eyes never breaking contact with Sephiroth's.

He _didn't_ know. He _didn't_. He didn't know if he could stop himself if the voices began again. He remembered how wonderfully easy and pleasureable it had been to give into the voices, to allow them control over his entire being. The thoughts of Jenova had become his thoughts. What if something caused him to snap, to lose control? He could be lucid one moment, and the next find Yuffie's bloody corpse torn in his hands, not even knowing what he had done.

He knew now that for Yuffie's safety (for _everyone's_ safety), he had to answer Cloud.

"...No...I don't."

"You _don't_?"

"I don't."

But instead of becoming angrier and evicting Sephiroth out of the house as Sephiroth expected, Cloud's eyes softened and he turned around and said, "...Neither do I."

"...What?" Sephiroth was puzzled.

"Sephiroth, you know that I had voices in my head as well. I was helpless against them. They made me give the Black Materia to the clone, and then give it to you. They almost made me kill Aeris. I think the only reason I _didn't_ kill her was that my friends kept calling my name. Otherwise... I didn't think about it, not for a long while after Meteor. But a couple of months ago, shortly before you showed up, the thought occurred to me. At first I thought I was being ridiculous, but then Tifa woke me up one night, telling me to stop talking. I had been asleep. I asked her what I said, and she said she couldn't understand me. She probably must not remember, but I talked in my sleep during the quest a good deal, had conversations with myself. Barret and Yuffie complained about it... It made me wonder...if I could still..." Cloud ruffled the spikes in his hair around with his fingers, "I have a wife, Sephiroth, and I'm going to be a father. I can't imagine...I don't know what I would do if...I..."

"...Lost control?"

"I've never spoken about it to the others, not even Tifa."

"Well, I can't say I blame you for that."

"If you had answered yes, I would have known that you were either lying or ignorant of the danger, and both scenarios were extremely hazardous. But I could see in your eyes as you answered me that you..." Cloud chuckled a little, "are just as scared to death of the possibility as I am. Isn't that funny? And don't say it doesn't frighten you. I may have been born at night, but it wasn't _last_ night."

Sephiroth gritted his teeth, "This is between you and me, Strife."

"Understood. I don't want you going around talking about it either."

"What is to be done?"

"...I say we watch each other. If you ever catch me doing something strange, we tell each other. And, well, we _should_ tell someone about it, in case we both act a little crazy at once. It'll sound strange, even suspicious, but better safe than sorry."

"Who should we tell?"

"...I haven't decided yet."

"...What do we do until we get the letter back from Dr. Rosem, if we ever get a letter?"

"Dr. Rosem...You think he'll be able to help us?"

"I hope so."

Cloud looked thoughtful for a moment, and then said, "Well, I guess we'll wing it. Neither one of us has acted really crazy so far."

_In the kitchen..._

"It's too quiet," Reeve said, "I don't like it."

"I think it's all right," Tifa remarked, "No crashing of furniture or the like."

"No falling pictures," Vincent spoke, a ghost of a smirk on his face.

Tifa and most of the others laughed, but Tifa stopped when she noticed that Hojo was staring at her. He had his normal, serious look on his face, but there was a touch of alarm in his eyes. It was frightfully unsettling. Tifa tried to ignore it, thinking that perhaps Hojo had a habit of staring at people.

"Mrs. Strife," Hojo said, gesturing for Tifa to approach him, "may I have a couple of words with you?"

"What is it, Hojo?" Lucrecia asked, concerned.

"Only a question," the scientist replied. Tifa wasn't afraid of Hojo; not with all the others in the room at least. She went to Hojo, and leaned over when he indicated for her to do so.He whispered in her ear, "_Are you pregnant_?"

Tifa frowned, but then remembered that Hojo had not been with them for very long and they had never mentioned it around him. There didn't seem to be a need to. And she hadn't been wearing a shirt that showed off the fact that she was just now reaching her fourth month of pregnancy. Today she was wearing a standard maternity shirt, with drawstring in the back.

"Yes," she whispered back.

After a few seconds of thought, Hojo said, getting up from his chair, "I must speak with you, in private."

Everyone else was engaged in conversation and didn't pay too much notice to Hojo and Tifa going into a far corner of the kitchen by the pantry. Hojo explained his reasons for the privacy, "You and your husband are expecting a baby, are you? There's something you should know. When they were inducted into the SOLDIER military group, SOLDIERs were normally given a special serum manufactured from Jenova cells that would produce the ageless and regenerative properties of Jenova without infiltrating their genetic makeup. However, there were a few people who were given the original Jenova serum, made up of live cells: me, Vincent, Lucrecia, Sephiroth, the SOLDIER Zack (though his genes rejected it), those who survived the Nibelheim disaster...and your husband Cloud. A person with the live Jenova cells in his blood does not pass them on sexually (because sperm don't live long enough to make an effect), but they can pass them on genetically to their children. And you should know, Mrs. Strife, that once Jenova cells enter the bloodstream, they will join with a person. And your baby's Jenova cells most likely have entered your bloodstream through the umbilical cord and the placenta. In other words..."

Tifa felt numb and she put a hand on her stomach, "...Are you telling me that...my baby has Jenova cells and because of that...I have them too?"

"Your eyes should be taking on that faint glow in a matter of weeks. There shouldn't be too much to be concerned about, but just so you know. You strike me as being a little more level-headed than that husband of yours."

"But...your eyes don't glow."

"You can't tell in the light. In the dark, it's obvious. For some reason, certain eye colors don't have an apparent glow. I doubt yours will either."

"...What does this change?"

"Like your husband, you and your child will not go into old age, and it won't be easy for you to die. So, I suppose it's a good thing. For now."

"So, nothing bad will happen to my baby?"

"No, nothing should."

"...Thank you for telling me this, Hojo."

Hojo straightened his glasses, "I didn't want Strife to have a panic attack some night and wake the whole household because your eyes are glowing all of a sudden. That would be rather annoying. I have a hard enough time getting to sleep as it is without a rout."

The dry manner with which Hojo spoke this sentence actually struck Tifa as a little cute and humorous. She said, suppressing giggles, "I'll be sure to tell him. However...could you be there when I tell him? I'm not sure if I could explain it as well as you."

Hojo blinked, a little surprised at the invitation, "...If you wish."

The kitchen door opened and Sephiroth and Cloud walked through, calm as ever. Nothing seemed to be amiss; in fact, the two appeared to be coming out of a deep conversation that did not involve threats of physical violence to either party. Nevertheless, everyone stared at the duo. Tifa, Lucrecia, and Yuffie looked at Cloud and Sephiroth closely, searching for any signs of a struggle or scuffle.

"What's for dinner?" asked Cloud.

"Spaghetti," Tifa answered, still inspecting her husband.

Yuffie walked to Sephiroth and stood in front of him with her hands clasped behind her back; she whispered, "So...how did it go?"

"How did what go?" Sephiroth answered.

"Your talk with Cloud; what did you talk about?"

"...Nothing."

"Nothing...!" Yuffie huffed and clenched her fists, "No, you can't do that! You can't go in there and talk for a couple of hours and say that you didn't talk about anything, especially after that confrontation."

"We managed to agree on something, that's all," Sephiroth leaned in towards Yuffie, "Everything's all right; don't get worked up about it. I'll talk to you about it later."

"...Okay, I just wanted to make sure that you didn't get evicted out of the house or anything."

Sephiroth smirked, "No, nothing like that."

_Nine days later..._

Nothing truly eventful had occurred in the Strife household, though most of the household had been keeping their distances away from Hojo. He couldn't have cared less; he had the company of his wife and, amazingly, Vincent. Everyone else was left to scratch their heads when the two brothers would go off to havea private conversation. No one could get Vincent to say what they had spoken of in those conversations, and no one wanted to try to ask Hojo. But it seemed that past hurts were resolved between the two, and no one else could understand it. Barret really wanted to grab Vincent and shake him until he spat out what on earth he and Hojo talked about that seemed to make everything all right between them. But one can see the risk in that method.

Cid got sick of the tension in the household two days after the talk between Sephiroth and Cloud and he and Shera left with the Highwind. He had told Cloud to call him on the PHS when(and if) they heard from Dr. Rosem. Reeve had gone with them; they were to take him to Goganga Village on the way to Rocket Town. Red XIII had opted to stay in Kalm; he would go to Cosmo Canyon when everyone else went.

Neither Cloud nor Sephiroth had gotten around to telling anyone about what they had talked about nearly a week and a halfago, although Tifa and Hojo had already discussed the Jenova cells with Cloud. He took ita little better than Hojo expected. However, that didn't mean that he didn't have to stifle a scream of surprise (even after the explanation) when he saw the slight glow in Tifa's eyes the night after Tifa and Hojo had spoken with him. But Hojo's guess was correct; Tifa's eyes only glowed in pitch darkness.

Cloud, Barret, Red, and Sephirothhad leftafter the third day to hunt monsters, and came back on the ninth day with the bounty. Their trip was a good deal shorter than the last one, because they didn't have the delays of being turned to frogs and going to carnivals and such. Yuffie hadwanted to go, but Tifaasked her to stayat the house.In the time that the men were at the house, Yuffie and Sephiroth hadn't wandered off outside again. Though Cloud had seemed to leave off as far as the couple was concerned, others were still a little dissatisfied with their relationship. And Sephiroth and Hojo hadn't spoken alone either since their talk in the library. And it didn't seem that anyone besides Lucrecia, Yuffie, and Reeve talked to Sephiroth outside of necessity. Marlene still liked to spend time with her "Uncle Sephy", but since Barret was home, and since he seemed to disapprove of Marlene's attentions to Sephiroth, she wasn't as persistent as she was before.

In short, the situation was extremely tense and extremely boring at the same time. It wasn't a big surprise when everyone ran into the living room upon finding out that Hojo had received a letter in the mail, with the return address saying, "Dr. Edward Rosem." But Lucrecia managed to shoo everyone out, even Vincent, until it was only her and Hojo in the room. Hojo still hadn't opened the letter.

"You may as well read it now, Hojo," Lucrecia said, "Don't be afraid. He wrote youa letter; that counts for something."

Hojo didn't reply to his wife but ran his finger along the envelope's seal, tearing it open. He managed to keep the emotion out of his face as he pulled the paper out. It read:

_"Dear Hojo,_

_You have no idea how shocked I was when I got your letter. I thought you were dead. Apparently, well, you were. But now you're back? With Lucrecia andSephiroth? How did that happen? I was tempted to ignore your letter, but I compared handwriting and signatures to your other letters. Andit's you.I can barely imagine it. You said Sephiroth is sane. Does he know the truth yet? You can tell him **now, **can't you? __Anyway, I'm digressing. Yes, yes, yes, and yes again, come to Cosmo Canyon! I want to see how you're doing. Get here as soon as you can. We'll talk then. I can't write more; the postman's about to leave. I'll see you when you get here._

_Your friend,_

_Rosem._

_P.S. Have you talked to any of your people yet? I heard those bluesuits were still lurking around here somewhere. Anyway, bye!"_

"It seems...that he's happy to hear I'm alive," Hojo said, a little shocked about how excited Rosem was, but he didn't want Lucrecia to know that last part. He closed the letter, "He sounds like himself; bright and bubbly."

"So, we're going to Cosmo Canyon?" Lucrecia asked.

"Yes, if Mr. Highwind will oblige."

It turned out that Cid was more than willing to oblige. The Highwind showed up at Kalm about a day after Cloud called Cid. Then came the time to decide who was going to go and who was going to stay. Tifa would stay, obviously. Shera had come with Cid, and she agreed to stay with Tifa, since Cloud, Hojo, and Lucrecia were going. Barret wanted to stay with Marlene. However, it seemed everyone else wanted to go.Sephiroth, Vincent, Yuffie, and Red XIII were determined to come along.Vincent was extremely curious about this person who seemed to remain Hojo's steadfast friend throughout the years,and Sephiroth hoped that Rosem would hold some sort of solution to the problem. Red wanted to go back to his hometown. Yuffie, well...one doesn't need to state her reason.

The Highwind took off. About three hours into the flight, Cid was informed by one of his pilots that they needed more fuel. They would have to stop in Costa del Sol. Of course, Cid let out the obligatory curses at his underlings, but he knew it couldn't be helped. However, he couldn't help but wonder if it was some vast conspiracy of timing. The last time they had needed more fuel, they had stopped in Costa del Sol. But, he couldn't complain. It was nice resort town. It was better than stopping in Junon for fuel.

Yuffie was biding her time in the inside of the ship, lying down on the floor, groaning. Sephiroth was sitting beside her, keeping her company in her time of need.

"I...feel...awful..." Yuffie moaned, for the eighth time.

"Do you always get sick?" Sephiroth asked, rubbing her arm.

"Always. And it doesn't matter what: a boat, an airship, a car... The only thing I don't get queasy on is a chocobo. Ohhh... That does it. When we get to Costa del Sol, I'm buying a bunch of Tranquilizers. They're the only thing that helps. Ulp!" Yuffie jumped up and ran to the restroom, leaving Sephiroth in the hangar. Lucrecia walked in just in time to see Yuffie disappear into the doorway.

"Poor thing," she said; then she spoke, smirking, "You know, your father will never admit it, but he gets motion sickness too. Not like _that_, mind you, but sometimes. He's all right now, but we haven't had any turbulance."

"I can hardly imagine what any form of turbulance would to do to Yuffie," Sephiroth commented, still looking at the bathroom door, "she'd probably pass out."

"I heard that!" Yuffie appeared in the doorway, "...but you're probably right. Ohhh..." She held onto her stomach, but didn't vomit, thankfully. She returned to her customary spot and sat down.

"Why don't you lie down on one of the cots, Yuffie?" Lucrecia asked.

"Because they shake more. How much longer?"

"Cid said we would reach Costa del Sol at about two in the afternoon," Sephiroth answered.

"What time is it now?"

"About ten."

Yuffie whimpered and fell back, "I'm gonna _die_!"

"She says that every time," Cloud spoke, as he strolled on the walkway. He paused a moment looked at Yuffie, "And everytime, she somehow survives."

"Grrr..." Yuffie narrowed her eyes at the blond warrior, and then lay back down, "I may survive, but I won't like it."


	27. It Must Be The Heat

(Kit Thespian walks out.)

Kit Thespian: Summer vacation isn't what it's cracked up to be, and yet, it is! I just don't know what to do with myself...

(Sephiroth and Yuffie enter)

Sephiroth: Have you tried playing FF7 a third time?

Kit Thespian: My brother's been dominating the PS2 for the past couple of weeks.

Sephiroth: ...Playing what?

Kit Thespian (heaves a deep sigh): "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas."

(Sephiroth and Yuffie gasp)

Yuffie: Not that!

Kit Thespian: Yes, that.

(Vincent pops his head in)

Vincent: Actually, it's kind of fun.

Kit Thespian: SHADDUP! It keeps me away from my favorite people.

(Sephiroth and Yuffie grin with pride.)

Kit Thespian: ...Squall.

Sephiroth: _Huh_?

Kit Thespian: And also...

(Sephiroth and Yuffie grin again)

Kit Thespian: ...Kuja!

Yuffie: _What_?

Kit Thespian: Oh, yeah, y'all should play FF8 and 9 sometime. It's loads of fun!

Yuffie (kicking dirt): Yeah, sure...

Sephiroth (crossing his arms): Whatever you say, Kit Thespian.

Kit Thespian: And of course, it keeps me away from my favoritest non-canonical couple...

Sephiroth: Let me guess...Seifer and Quistis?

Kit Thespian (blinks): Actually, I was gonna say y'all.

Sephiroth: Oh...

Yuffie (blushes): Gee, thesp...

Kit Thespian (grins): So, does my favoritest non-canonical couple want to say the Disclaimer?

Sephiroth and Yuffie: Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making money off of this.

(Kit Thespian hands Sephiroth a sheet of paper)

Sephiroth (reads): "And she does not own the lyrics to 'Oh, Mickey' or 'We love you, Conrad'" ...What?

Chapter Twenty-Seven- It Must Be The Heat…

They reached Costa del Sol in the early afternoon hours. It didn't shock Sephiroth when Yuffie ran out of the Highwind with her suitcase, screaming, "Land!" He was amazed that she didn't fall down and kiss the ground. He was relieved, for Yuffie's sake, that they were going to spend the night there. Thankfully, it wasn't the busy season. Yuffie and Lucrecia had disappeared not long after they all checked into the hotel. They came back about an hour later, carrying some shopping bags and Yuffie whispering to Sephiroth that she had a surprise for him. Of course, he had no idea what she meant by that until she came out into the hotel lobby with Lucrecia about a hour later. They were both wearing swimsuit cover-ups, going down to about four inches above their knees. They were carrying towels and they smelled like sunscreen. Cid and Vincent were in the hotel rooms, taking a nap. Red was outside, watching the children play, like he always did whenever coming through Costa del Sol. Hojo, Cloud, and Sephiroth were drinking sodas in the lobby. Cloud was also shooting some billiards.

"We're going to go swimming, all right?" Lucrecia said to her husband.

"You can do whatever you want," Hojo said, with a slightly worried look on his face, "however..."

Before Hojo could finish his sentence, Yuffie walked up Sephiroth (who was seated on a couch) and said, "Ready for your surprise?"

"Sure," Sephiroth shrugged, truly not suspecting what Yuffie was about to do. Yuffie took off her cover-up to reveal that she was wearing a black two-piece bathing suit. Sephiroth gaped. The exposed midriff was not the issue. He had already seen that with Yuffie's fighting clothes. However, what she had worn had not been very flattering to her coloring and figure. What she was wearing right now showed off the fact that she was a slender, lithe young lady with flawless, creamy skin.

"Well?" Yuffie said as she turned around, showing off her latest purchase, "Do you like it?"

Sephiroth eyes were bugging out more and more by the second, and he looked up and down, up and down.

Cloud said, "I think he likes it."

"Am I to understand..." Hojo was addressing Lucrecia, "that you are wearing a similar type of bathing suit underneath that cover-up?"

"Oh, Hojo, don't be so paranoid," Lucrecia pulled up her cover-up to reveal she was wearing a tasteful blue one-piece; then she put it back down and smoothed it out, "And we're walking to the beach in our cover-ups. There's nothing for you to get jealous about."

Hojo raised an eyebrow, "Well, if you need us, yell...loudly."

She kissed him on the cheek and responded sweetly, "I'll yell as loud as I can possibly manage," she turned to Yuffie, who was still trying unsuccessfully to get a response out of Sephiroth, "Let's go before it gets too late."

"All right..." Yuffie smirked at her boyfriend's lack of response and thought it would be even funnier to leave him like this; she put her cover-up back on and waved, "bye!"

It wasn't until after Lucrecia and Yuffie left the hotel that Sephiroth recovered from his shock. He looked as one that had just come out of a trance. He blinked, looked around, and seemed to notice for the first time Yuffie and Lucrecia's absences.

"Where did she go?" he asked, referring apparently to Yuffie.

"They just went swimming, Sephiroth," Cloud gathered up the billiard balls from their slot in the pool table; he tried to suppress a grin, "You need to pay attention."

"I think he was paying more attention than he should," Hojo commented, before sipping his soda. Cloud let out a scream of laughter and nearly fell on the floor. The only thing that prevented him was his leaning on his pool cue. Sephiroth grimaced and seemed ready to let Cloud have a smack upside the back of his head when a sudden thought occurred to him.

"Wait a minute!" Sephiroth exclaimed, "Is Mother in a bathing suit too?"

"We've been through this, Sephiroth," Hojo said, trying not to roll his eyes, "you _do_ need to pay attention."

Sephiroth turned pink, "Well, it was just...Yuffie was..."

"Uncovered?" Cloud offered.

Sephiroth's face then took on a dark shade of red, "She just...there wasn't...Gah!"

Hojo remarked, "Sephiroth, we passed at least a dozen girls wearing bikinis; not mere two-pieces, mind you, but _string bikinis_, and now you choose this moment to act like a twelve year old boy feeling the first brushes of puberty merely because your little Wutainese princess decided to go for a swim in a bathing suit that really wasn't that indecent for someone of her figure. My son, you...are..._pathetic_."

Purple was now the chosen color to grace Sephiroth's visage. He was probably going to say something quite disrespectful towards his paternal parent when Cloud spoke, "All right, Hojo, you didn't seem all that pleased with Lucrecia going out in a bathing suit either. Give him a break."

Hojo chose to ignore that statement, "I am going out for a walk." And with that, he was gone.

Sephiroth, in a huff, moved to follow his father out, but Cloud stopped him and held Sephiroth's root beer in front of his face, "Slow down, Seph, take a sip. You _were_ acting kind of silly there. Don't blame you. I recall the first time I saw Tifa in a string bikini. Now _that_ was interesting. Drink up."

Sephiroth did not enjoy being patronized (he didn't exactly appreciate the new nickname either), but he took the can out of Cloud's hands and drank the beverage. Thankfully, it was still cool. He didn't really like the heat in this place; it was starting to irritate him. And what was more, the tiny hairs on the top of his head were starting to curl up. It wasn't particularly noticeable, but to someone who took as great a care as Sephiroth did of one's hair, it was very annoying.

_At the railing overlooking the beach..._

"Professor?"

Hojo's eyes widened with apprehension as he turned and found three bikini clad young ladies standing to his left. He knew them quite well. There was Mairey, the light-skinned brunette, and Teresha and Ephrey the black-skinned twins. They always flocked to him whenever he came to Costa del Sol. He supposed it was his charm when it came to the first and third girl. But he had always humored their strange flirting.

Actually, he knew Teresha better than the other two, because once, five years before this, she had run foul of the Shinra in a brandy smuggling operation gone haywire. She had, with her two other cohorts (both men), been locked up in the prison cells in Shinra Inc. They managed to escape their guards and one of them even tried to take Hojo hostage. He learned very quickly that Hojo always kept a gun in his labcoat, and he wasn't that bad of a shot. He shot down both of Teresha's associates, but she hid behind a chair, crying out for mercy. He probably would have killed her too (he wasn't the nicest of people in those days and was just getting used to Sephiroth's disappearance and possible death) if a sudden thought hadn't occurred to him. Teresha probably knew all the right people in the underground world, and Hojo had agreed to let her live, as long as she remained his informant and provided names of informants. She had been reluctant to do so at first, but he assured her that his protection was far better than any offensive movements by any sort of mafia. He was right on that score, and Teresha and her people began to realize it.

Teresha was one of the few in Hojo's network of informants that was truly loyal to him. Hojo knew all the names of those who he could completely trust. However, he also knew that her sister Ephrey and their friend Mairey were oblivious to Teresha's secret connections, so he acted casual. The three girls weren't really romantically interested in him, and he knew it. They found him fascinating and easy to talk to. They flirted with him because they knew that he would not respond to it, but he would dismiss it with a laugh at such flattery. They felt safe with him, which was extremely ironic, Hojo knew, considering his track record. It was one of the reasons he felt the slightest bit comfortable in Costa del Sol. People didn't really know him there.

"Hello, ladies," he said, putting on his most charming grin.

"It's him!" Mairey squealed.

"We thought you died!" Ephrey exclaimed, "It's been a whole year since Meteor!"

"I'm glad to see that you three are faring well," Hojo said.

"We're glad to see you too," Teresha grinned; she held up her left hand to show off a diamond ring, "I got engaged!"

"Well, congratulations to you and the lucky young man," Hojo declared.

"Lucky _rich_ young man," Ephrey laughed; she indicated the large villa at the edge of town, "He's just bought the Shinra townhouse."

"You know," Hojo decided to use this turn of the conversation to his own advantage, "I have an announcement of my own," he gestured towards the beach, "that beautiful lady in the blue swimming suit is Mrs. Hojo."

The girls nearly scrambled over each other to get a good spot of railing to lean on in order to get a good look at Lucrecia. She and Yuffie were just walking along the beach, letting the waves move over their feet. Fortunately, Lucrecia was on the inside, so the girls could see her better than Yuffie.

"Ooh," Mairey said, "she _is_ beautiful. Congratulations, professor!"

"When did you get married?" Ephrey asked.

"Actually," Hojo said, adding just the right amount of regret to his voice, "we had been separated for a long time," the girls "aww"-ed as he expected them to, "but we got back together a few weeks ago."

"And everything's all right?" Teresha asked.

"Yes, I should think so."

"Oh, good!" Mairey smiled.

Hojo then noticed that during the conversation, Vincent had emerged from the hotel and was standing near a souvenir booth. Since materia was of no more use, the salesman had wisely changed his wares, even engraving "Costa del Sol" on some of his old materia and selling them as knick-knacks. Vincent was the perfect picture of a lonely stranger in a strange town. Since it was dusk, it wasn't nearly as hot, and the sun wouldn't oppress Vincent's pale complexion.

Then a malicious thought came to Hojo, and it would be a good way to get rid of Ephrey and Mairey so he could speak to Teresha.

"Did I ever introduce any of you to my brother?" he said.

Teresha blinked, "Why, no, you never even mentioned a brother."

"Didn't I? How thoughtless of me," he indicated towards Vincent, "Do you see that tall, dark, tragically handsome young man in the red cape? That's him, my younger brother Vincent," he bit his tongue to hid mirth as he saw the increasingly hungry look in Mairey and Ephrey's eyes, "and as far as _I _know, he's single. But he's a little shy."

"He's _cute_..." Ephrey murmured. Both she and Mairey moved slowly away from the railing.

"I'm sure such charming young ladies as yourselves would have no trouble getting his attention, but I warn you: he likes to play hard-to-get. Don't be surprised if he's extremely reluctant at first."

Teresha was a little suspicious of the way Hojo was acting, but she didn't do anything to stop her sister and friend as they started walking towards the souvenir booth.

"And one more thing," Hojo said, "the ladies call him, 'Vinnie.'"

Ephrey and Mairey squealed at the nickname as they broke into a jog towards the hapless Vincent. Hojo forced himself to break away and speak to Teresha, "Well, that took care of _that_."

"Is he really your younger brother?" Teresha asked, with an eyebrow raised.

"Half-brother, but yes, he is."

"Is he going to appreciate this?"

"Probably not, but he could surprise me."

"Didn't think I'd ever see you again, Professor. None of us did."

"Speaking of which...have you heard from any of them?"

"We were all calling each other to ask if any of us had seen you. Yaber, Gammon, Brickson, Ellijen, Cranston, Gaither, and Pograr all called me, asking around," Teresha sighed, "We gave up hope after a couple of weeks, when we fully learned about what happened to Midgar. But we keep in touch, in case we need to do some work for each other. The last time I spoke with any of them over the PHS was a couple of weeks ago, and it was with Ellijen. Yaber and his associates actually came through here about a month ago. They're traveling mercenaries now, you know."

"I really don't see what else they could do."

"Do you want me to affirm your existence the next time any of them call? Or would you like me to call them first?"

"You do what you think you should. It hardly makes a difference now. Shinra is nonexistent. You really don't need my support or favors anymore."

"It's not just that, Professor, and you know it. They'll be relieved to know you're okay, that's all."

"Then call them. I no longer have my PHS, but I'll try to get one soon. It's been terrifically annoying not having one... Honestly, I don't see why any of you should care about my welfare. We were all introduced at gunpoint, _my_ gunpoint."

"Hey, Professor," a sardonic smile curled Teresha's lips, "you're a pretty okay guy next to some of crazies I knew in the smuggling world. I get the impression that you're guilty of quite a few things, but the only thing that matters to me and the others is that you somehow found it within yourself to keep _our_ blood off of your hands. And that's enough. Yaber told me you warned him to get himself and his friends out of the city before the Sister Ray could explode."

"I barely remember that..."

"He said that you weren't quite yourself ever since the old president got killed, maybe even a little before that. And I remember when you last came through here. If you don't mind me saying so, you were acting a little crazy. Mumbling to yourself a lot more...I remember that Mairey was the only one who could understand a thing you could say at those times. I just hoped you wouldn't say anything to spill the beans about our network. But it was all about Sephiroth... Sir, after you disappeared, we all thought you were dead."

"I know."

"Yaber told us the truth."

Hojo raised an eyebrow. Teresha expounded, "About you and Sephiroth. Since Shinra was gone, it didn't seem to matter anymore. That's rough; I didn't know you were that old, though."

Hojo gritted his teeth, and Teresha hastly apologized, "I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, it's not you...Well, how does it feel, knowing that your boss sired the world's most horrific terror?"

"From the way Yaber described it, it sounds like both of you were the victims."

"Very nice of him," Hojo tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice but didn't succeed. Then he thought of Sephiroth. Then he remembered how the "world's most horrific terror" had been paralyzed by the sight of Yuffie in a bathing suit. He began to chuckle, "Teresha, I have no idea how everything will turn out, but it should be better than before."

"Glad to hear it, Sir," Teresha replied, relieved that Hojo's mood had lightened somewhat; she turned around, "I wonder how your brother is..." but Vincent and the two girls had disappeared, "...doing? Where'd they go?"

Hojo blinked and looked around. They were nowhere in sight. He scratched his head in worry a little, but then shrugged and decided it wasn't worth it. After getting Yaber, Teresha and Ellijen's PHS numbers on a sheet of paper, he walked back to the hotel.

_Meanwhile..._

"Let's get a lemonade," Yuffie suggested while she and Lucrecia were drying off and putting on their cover-ups. It was almost evening.

"All right, but we shouldn't be out too late," Lucrecia said, "Hojo and Sephiroth will get worried and they'll start looking for us and...you know. It could get very silly."

"If anyone around here gets fresh, we could just whap them with our wet towels," Yuffie chuckled, "nothing stings worse without leaving a scar than a wet towel," she laughed some more, "Did you see the look on Sephiroth's face when I showed him my swimsuit? I thought he was going to faint." The two began the laborious trek through the white sand.

"I thought Hojo was going to try to stop me from going," Lucrecia commented.

"I think he knows that you can take care of yourself. But let's face it, Lucrecia, you're gorgeous. I'd be protective too."

"You're not so bad yourself, kiddo," Lucrecia laughed, "you've got that dumbfounded son of mine to prove that."

They had reached the top of the stairs and were passing by some thick flower bushes when they heard a voice whispering, "Yuffie?Lucrecia?"

The two women stopped, puzzled. They look around until they saw Vincent's gold claw arm gesturing from inside the tall bushes.

"Vincent!" Yuffie exclaimed, "What are you...?"

"Shsst!" There was an uncharacteristic tinge of panic in Vincent's voice, "The craziest thing has just occurred. Out of nowhere, these two women in bikinis show up and start making unladylike advances to me. They asked my name, and I told them. Then they started calling me _Vinnie_!Three more girls showed up, and I got introduced, and then they all began to slaver or something. I tried to get away, but they followed. I don't want them to know where I'm staying in the hotel, but..."

"Viiiiinieee!" a shrill, girly voice sounded, "Where are youuuuu?"

"Don't say anything!" Vincent retreated even further into the brush.

Five young ladies in swimsuits appeared around the corner. One said to the other, "Aw, we lost him."

"I'm sure he's around here somewhere. He's just playing hard-to-get, remember, Ephrey?"

"Oh," the first one grinned, "right. Vinnieee!" She saw Lucrecia and Yuffie, "Hi, I'm Mairey and this is Ephrey. Could you help us? We're looking for a guy."

"A tall, dark," Ephrey seemed to lose her composure with every word, melting with exaltation, "tragically _handsome _man in a red cape! You couldn't miss him. His eyes are _gorgeous_!" Apparently the fact that they were also blood-red didn't affect the young women.

"He's got a real goth thing going on!" Mairey said, "And he's got a real sexy claw!"

"We've seen him too!" one of the unknown three girls said, "He's so _cute_!"

"He looks so lonely!" another one spoke.

Yuffie and Lucrecia were both wondering if all of these girls had a whole brain amongst them.They were all starstruck.

"Oh!" Ephrey squealed, "You're Mrs. Hojo! The Professor pointed you out!"

Lucrecia blinked, with a slight bit of suspicion in her voice, "You know my husband?"

The two girls in the front, ditzy as they were, seemed to catch on and Mairey insisted, "Oh, no! Not like that! He's just a real nice guy."

"A real gentleman!" Ephrey agreed.

Then Yuffie and Lucrecia were wondering if they were talking about the same Hojo. But Lucrecia knew that Hojo could be very charming when he wanted to be. She stifled a laugh.

Ephrey went on, "And he's the one who pointed out Vincent for us. He said, 'That's my younger brother Vincent,' He said he's _single_!"

The two girls squealed with glee, with the other three who apparently did not know Hojo but had met Vincent. Hojo seemed to be irrelevant at this point.

"And that he likes to play hard-to-get!" Mairey continued.

"And that the ladies call him Vinnie!" Ephrey grinned.

At the sound of 'Vinnie', all five girls erupted into girlish shrieks of infatuation. Yuffie and Lucrecia didn't really know what to think. This was really beyond their scope of experience. Neither one had ever been to a rock concert or the like, so hoards of fangirls were strange to them. The thought of Vincent with such a following was very strange indeed. Then something occurred to Lucrecia.

"Wait a minute!" she called out with her arms outspread; the girls calmed down and she went on, "Did my husband say all of that?"

"Uh-huh!" Mairey grinned.

"...Really?"

All of the girls nodded (even the three who weren't actually there when Hojo said it) and Lucrecia and Yuffie looked at each other incredulously. What could Hojo have been thinking? But Yuffie had had enough of this nonsense.

"I think I saw him go down to the beach, hiding in the sand or something like that," she said, "If you hurry, you might catch him."

All of the girls, with their obligatory squeals, ran down the steps towards the beach. After they disappeared, Yuffie hear Vincent speak, with a dangerous edge to his voice, "I am going to kill him."

"You'd better get to the hotel before they catch on," Yuffie suggested.

_Back at the hotel..._

Cloud, Sephiroth, Hojo, Cid, and Red XIII were all waiting in the lobby. They planned to get a bite to eat as soon as Vincent, Lucrecia, and Yuffie returned. Hojo had been strangely silent this entire time, looking out of the windows every once in a while.

Red caught him doing this, "Don't worry; I'm sure they're heading back right now."

Hojo didn't answer; it wasn't Lucrecia and Yuffie he was thinking about. But a moment later, Lucrecia and Yuffie entered into the hotel. They looked around and noticed that the red-caped man hadn't made it back yet. Yuffie licked her lips in worry, and Lucrecia spoke, "Um, where's Vincent?"

"You haven't seen him?" Cloud asked.

"Well, we _have_, and we were kind of hoping he would make it back before..."

"EEEE!" a screech sounded from a little ways outside the hotel, "_There he is_! _Get 'im_!"

"Uh...oh..." Yuffie murmured. Everyone else looked questioningly at her and Lucrecia as they rushed for the window and looked outside. When they froze in horror at the sight that lay before them, Sephiroth and Cloud walked to the window and looked over the petite women. They couldn't believe their eyes as well.

Vincent had been tackled and was being vigorously tugged at by at least a dozen young women with ages ranging from late teens to early twenties. He writhed on the ground and managed to fight them off, jump up, and rush into the hotel. He slammed the door behind him and bolted it. He then stood with his back to it, wild-eyed and panting with terror. He looked like he had just been run over with a freight train. His raven hair was in ruins and his cape was disheveled and almost turned backwards. Then he noticed all of his friends were in the room and staring at him quizzically. He tried to regain his composure by standing up and straightening his cloak.

He cleared his throat while smoothing out his hair, "Good evening."

"Uh, Vincent?" Cloud said, "Care to tell us what this is all about?"

Before Vincent could even attempt an explanation, his gaze drifted over to Hojo, and the feral look filled his eyes again and his composure was forgotten. He pointed a clawed finger towards his half-brother.

"You...you..._you_!" he seethed, "this is _your_ doing!"

Sephiroth looked at his father, "Hojo? What did he do?"

"_We want Vinnie! We want Vinnie!_" the girls outside started to chant.

Vincent was startled, but only for a moment; he continued his rant, "You told them all these crazy things about me!"

Hojo didn't look threatened at all; in fact, he looked rather amused, "I did not. All I said was that you were single...and I _did_ mention something about you're playing hard-to-get. But I recall...I only told two girls. Where did the other ones come from?"

Vincent spoke strangely, as if on the verge of mental breakdown, "I don't know! They _multiply_! Like _rabbits_!"

"Calm down, Vincent, just calm..." Lucrecia tried to sooth him.

"Wait a minute," Sephiroth called for silence, "...Are they _singing_?"

"_We love you, Vinnie, oh yes we do! We love you, Vinnie, and we'll be true! When you're not near us, we're blue! Oh, Vinnie, we love youuuu!_"

By now, Cloud, Cid, and Yuffie were shaking with suppressed giggles. Red XIII had a very blank look on his face, and he looked back and forth between Vincent and Hojo. Sephiroth was still trying to completely comprehend the situation. By now, the manager of the hotel reached the lobby, his attention caught by the crowd outside.

"What the heck is going on?" he said.

The song then changed, "_Oh, Vinnie, you're so fine. You're so fine you blow my mind. Hey Vinnie!_" clap-clap, clap-clap, "_Hey Vinnie!_" clap-clap, clap-clap.

"Who the heck is Vinnie?" the manager asked, even more perplexed.

Hojo pointed at Vincent, "_He _is."

Before Vincent could retaliate, the manager spoke, grinning, "Hey, I didn't know I had a rock star staying in my hotel!"

Vincent was indignant, "I am _not_ a rock star!"

"Oh...you sure look like one."

"_What_?"

"Hey, Vincent," Cloud managed to speak without laughing, "don't let it get to you."

"Well, what are we going to do about those girls?" the manager asked, "we can't have them there all night long."

"Why don't we get them arrested for disturbing the peace?"Red XIII suggested.

"There's no way the police could handle a mob like that," the manager groaned.

Hojo stepped forward, "Let me speak to them. I'm sure I could arrange something."

"You'd _better_ fix this, Hojo, or..." Vincent left his threat unfinished. Hojo walked towards the door. Lucrecia ran to his side and grabbed his arm.

"No, what if...?" she was clearly worried.

"My dear," Hojo gently took her hand off of his arm, "I have a general idea of what will do the trick."

Lucrecia bit her lip as her husband walked to the door, unbolted it, and walked outside. Everyone held their breath.

"Good evening, ladies," he addressed the crowd. He counted them; there were about twenty of them.

"It's the Professor!" Ephrey exclaimed, "he's Vinnie's older brother!"

The girls corporately squealed.

"My dear ladies," Hojo gestured for the crowd to calm down, "I regret to inform you that Vinnie..." the girls screamed again; he had to wait a moment before continuing, "...will not be coming out again tonight. He's a bit shy, as you may have heard, and all of this running about and shouting has frightened him away."

"Frightened!" Vincent gritted his teeth, knowing that he mustn't let the girls hear him.

The girls moaned in disappointment. Hojo went on, "And he really needs to catch up on his beauty sleep..."

"Beauty slee...!" Vincent nearly screeched, but Cloud clamped a hand over his mouth.

"So, run along now," Hojo motioned for the girls to leave, "run along."

Slowly but surely the girls began to disperse. Hojo stayed outside until they were all gone. They didn't seem to be _too_ brokenhearted; just a little disenchanted. Hojo was sure that they would forget Vincent by tommorrow, if not in the next twenty minutes. He walked back into the hotel, to find Yuffie, Cid, and Cloud rolling on the floor braying with laughter. Lucrecialooked ready to join them. Sephiroth and Red XIII were still a little bewildered. Then he looked at Vincent. The red-eyed man looked like he was ready to blow a blood vessel.

"I'll get you for this," Vincent spoke through his teeth.

"I'd like to see you try it," Hojo said, smirking, "...Vinnie."


	28. Tea and Stuffed Animals

_Author's note: This is the second time I've posted this chapter. The first time I posted it, for some reason it wouldn't come up on the site. I hope reposting it works. If you're reading this, it obviously did. Enjoy!_

(Kit Thespian enters)

Kit Thespian: Well, it looks like this story is taking yet another turn as we continue in the next exciting chapter…

(enter Vincent, solemn and depressing, as usual)

Vincent: Kit Thespian, I wish to form a complaint.

Kit Thespian: About what?

Vincent: You're managing to make me look like a real goober in this fic!

Kit Thespian: Well, you _are_ a goober; what can I say?

Vincent: What?

Kit Thespian: But look on the bright side, Vincent, your fan base is vaster. They made a whole video game just about you! So cheer up, come on!

Vincent: No, my refusal to cheer up is the entire basis of my character.

(Hojo enters)

Hojo: Actually, that's the basis of _my_ character. The basis of _your_ character is being in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and ticking off the wrong person, namely _me_.

Vincent: _You!_

Kit Thespian (raises her hands in a diplomatic gesture): Hey, guys! You both need to lighten up. (sings)

_Some things in life are bad  
__They can really make you mad  
__Others just make you swear and curse_

_When you're chewing on life's gristle,  
__Don't grumble, give a whistle,  
__And this'll help things turn out for the best, And…_

Vincent: Is she going to make us sing?

Hojo: Run!

(Both Vincent and Hojo try to flee, but Kit Thespian zaps them with her Light of Musical Doom, and they are forced to join her in song)

Kit Thespian, Vincent, and Hojo (sing):  
_Always look on the bright side of life _(whistling)  
_Always look on the bright side of life_ (whistling)

Vincent:  
_If life seems pretty rotten,  
__There's something you've forgotten,  
__And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing._

Hojo:  
_When you're feeling in the dumps,  
__Don't be silly chumps,  
__Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing. And…_

Kit Thespian, Vincent, and Hojo (kicking in a chorus line):  
_Always look on the bright side of life._ (whistling)  
_Always look on the bright side of life._ (whistling)

Kit Thespian: Okay, that's enough.

Vincent: She's crazy! I'm getting out of here!

Hojo: If you someone passes you, it's only me!

Kit Thespian: I love my work.

**Disclaimer:** Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein, and she is not making money off it either. And "Always look on the bright side of life" belongs to Pythonian Eric Idle. May he live long and prosper.

Chapter Twenty-Eight- Tea and Stuffed Animals

The living arrangements at the hotel that night were quite interesting. They rented out three rooms. Each room had three twin beds. After much careful thought, Cloud, Cid, and Sephiroth finally came up with an arrangement that would be to everyone's mutual benefit. Yuffie and Lucrecia would have a room to themselves. The true issue was that after the fracas concerning the fangirls, everyone knew that it would be unwise, at least for that night, to place Hojo and Vincent in the same room. In his, Cloud's and Cid's little huddle, Sephiroth volunteered to stay in the same room with Vincent. Cloud volunteered for that as well, saying that he and Sephiroth should be able to handle Vincent in case the red-caped man decided to try anything prankish in the middle of the night. They should also be able to fend off any snooping fangirls.

"Great," Cid moaned, "Stick me and Red with the mad scientist."

"He seems to get along just fine with you and Red," Cloud commented, "You'll be okay."

"'You'll be okay.' That's none too reassuring."

"With Red XIII in the room, you have nothing to fear. I know from personal experience that Red is perfectly capable of handling Dr. Hojo."

It was deathly silence in both of the guys' rooms that night. None of them had anything to say to the other. Cid dropped off pretty quickly, actually, and so did Cloud and Vincent. Red XIII settled down without incident. And eventually, even Sephiroth and Hojo got to sleep. Yuffie and Lucrecia stayed up for a little night, talking, like most girls tend to do after a full day.

"What's Edward Rosem like?" Yuffie asked.

"When I knew him, he was very kind and considerate. He had a wonderful sense of humor. But it's been over thirty years…"

"He seemed ready enough to invite Hojo."

"That's what worries me. He seemed too ready."

"Well, I think we can handle any hiccups. Hojo seems to trust him and he doesn't easily trust people, I don't think."

"No, he doesn't…"

"If Dr. Rosem didn't believe Hojo when he wrote about Sephiroth, boy is _he_ in for a shock!"

_The next day…_

"Professor! Wait!" Teresha, out of breath, caught up with Hojo as the group were making their way out of the town. Fortunately, Hojo and Lucrecia had fallen back a little because Lucrecia had pointed out that one of the bouquets in a flower display was almost the same as her wedding bouquet had been. When the young lady (dressed in a t-shirt and jeans today) reached the couple, she gave a respectful nod to Lucrecia.

"Mrs. Hojo, you don't know me; my name's Teresha."

"She used to be one of my employees," Hojo explained to his wife.

"Oh," Lucrecia held out her hand, "It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too," Teresha shook her hand; then she turned to Hojo, "Are all of you leaving?"

"Yes," Hojo replied, "I'm afraid we must be going."

"Here," Teresha reached into her purse and pulled out an object wrapped in a store bag, "I didn't have time to wrap it for you. I put everyone's numbers in it, though."

Amazed, Hojo took the package from Teresha's hands and pulled out a brand-new PHS. Hojo opened it up and turned it on. The text across the screen read, "Hello, Professor." He looked at the directory and found the PHS numbers of all of his loyal contacts.

"Th…Thank you," he finally stammered.

"Hey," Teresha started walking away, "if a guy spares your life, a little phone's not too much to ask. I have to go; my fiancée's waiting for me. Give me call if you need anything, Professor!"

Hojo nodded and Teresha waved and ran off to one of the nearby restaurants. Lucrecia asked him what it was all about, but Hojo found he couldn't say a word. This act of kindness was difficult to believe, but there it was: a new PHS in his hand. Someday, he would find a way to properly thank her.

_A few hours later…_

"There it is!" Cid heralded while the _Highwind_ descended, "Cosmo Canyon; red and brown as ever with all of its little whirly-thingies spinnin' around."

Red XIII's fiery tail was shaking with excitement. He hadn't been home for several months. He would be the one at the front of the party, escorting them to Rosem's house. They had decided back on the airship that they shouldn't crowd Dr. Rosem, so Cloud, Cid, and Vincent walked ahead to Red's house. The first two were a little disgruntled at having to wait a little longer to meet Hojo's old colleague, but Vincent, surprisingly enough, had volunteered first to stay behind. That left five people going to see Rosem.

Though the world around it seemed so different with the absence of Shinra Inc., Cosmo Canyon hadn't changed a bit. It still had many botanists and star-gazers studying and doing research there. It still had the bar (though fewer regulars) and the inn with rooms that each had two beds and a big, cushy sofa. Yuffie remembered that the sofa was actually nicer than the beds; one time she, Barret, and Cloud played paper-rock-scissors to see who would get to sleep on it. She had won. Since the defeat of Meteor, the materia shop had become a souvenir shop, like the one in Costa del Sol, and like so many others around the world. The weapons shop still had some unique items to offer, though.

Sephiroth had never actually set foot in Cosmo Canyon, though the SOLDIER truck had passed it on the way to Nibelheim seven years ago. For such a red, rocky terrain, the temperature was actually quite moderate, which was a relief because the heat generated from the great bonfire in the middle of the village could be felt from quite a ways. He could tell from the way the villagers stared that the visiting group that they recognized Red XIII and the others except Sephiroth and Lucrecia. They called Red XIII, "Nanaki". A good deal of them recognized Hojo and they were puzzled. Obviously, he was different now than he had been the last time he visited. One of the residents actually dared to wave at him in a friendly fashion. Hojo did not return the wave, but he did give an acknowledging nod.

Red led them up and up many flights of stairs and through several winding pathways around the town. Yuffie was walking beside Sephiroth, with her arm softly wrapped around his. She was being strangely silent, but Sephiroth guessed it was because there were plenty of fascinating things to see for her curious mind. One of the houses they passed smelled of strong tobacco; and no wonder, an old lady smoking a thin pipe was sitting on the porch. The quaintness of this village was astounding. It was not only peaceful, it was downright lethargic. The inhabitants living in this day and age had never really been threatened by anything, except Meteor. And Sephiroth guessed that even at that traumatic time they looked upon the burning rock with more enthrallment than fear. He remembered at his time with Shinra, Cosmo Canyon had no strategic value and it posed no threat, therefore it was given very little consideration by the authorities.

"We're only a few houses away now," Red announced, "It's that one by the corner."

"Yes, I remember now…" Hojo murmured.

The house they were talking about was the most cheerful one in sight. It was tidy and kempt, with flowers in the open windows. There were a couple of rocking chairs on the porch, with a black cat with a white face and neck sitting on one of them. He looked at Red XIII very briefly before yawning and returning to his nap. Lucrecia smiled; if the house fitted Rosem's personality, than he hadn't changed a bit despite everything.

The group waited while Hojo (seeming almost timid) approached the front door and lightly knocked. A few moments passed, and then Hojo knocked again, this time a little louder.

A cheery voice from inside the house called, "What's the password?"

Hojo rolled his eyes, "Rosem, it's _me_. Open the door, you dolt!"

Before Lucrecia could reprimand her husband for such a rude response, the voice spoke again, "Good enough for me!" And the door opened.

It was an old man; not _terribly_ old, but he needed a cane for a bad hip. His hair was snowy white and two bright blue eyes twinkled from his wrinkled face. But it looked like every line on his face came from smiling and laughing too much. Sephiroth and Yuffie stared, dumbfounded that this nice little man could have possibly been Hojo's best friend at one point. He gasped and gaped at Hojo, before a smile broke out on his face.

"It _is_ you! When I got your letter I couldn't believe… But it _is_ you! And you…you look all right! I mean, I hope you won't take it this the wrong way, but you look…just _fine_."

"You mean I look sane," Hojo said.

Rosem shrugged, "Well, I didn't want to bring 'sane' and 'insane' into the conversation…" Then his eyes (which, despite age, were perfectly good) caught sight of the other four people with his old friend, particularly the silver-haired man and his mother. He muttered, "Omigosh…" he blinked, and then looked again, "_Omigosh_!" He glanced at Hojo, amazed, "You _are_ sane, or I'm senile!"

Lucrecia laughed, "Oh, Rosem, you're still _you_." She went up to the old scientist and gave him a hug. Rosem was still so shocked he didn't move at first. He had heard about Sephiroth and Lucrecia from Hojo's letter, but up until this time he was not so sure that Hojo was on the level. There was no denying it now.

He finally exclaimed, his voice nearly breaking, "This is incredible! Lucrecia! How did…where have you…? Have you been alive all of this time? Look at you; you haven't aged a day!"

"It is a very long story," Hojo said.

"And _this_ young man!" Rosem laughed, pointing his cane at Sephiroth, "Oh, I heard stories about the great General Sephiroth. Last I heard he was aiming Meteor at the planet. But I knew that couldn't be true…"

"Rosem…" Hojo spoke.

"…He wouldn't hurt a fly. Well, unless he was directly ordered to. But other than _that_…"

"Rosem!"

"Yes?"

"We'll talk about that later."

Rosem chortled, "Of course, how rude of me! All of you come inside! Have a nice cup of tea! Nanaki, it's nice to see you again. Hmm, do I know you, young lady?" he addressed Yuffie while he escorted them into the living room, which was right next to the kitchen.

"No, you don't, Sir," Yuffie replied.

A knowing look came on Rosem's face while he walked into the kitchen and he grinned, "Why, Sephiroth, you got a girlfriend! How nice! You must have got your father's great taste in girls! What a pretty girl she is!"

Yuffie giggled; Sephiroth blushed and it looked like Hojo was about to tell Rosem to shut his mouth, but Rosem kept going, "Gracious me; the last time I saw you, you were yea tall," he held his free hand about three and half feet above the ground before reaching for some teabags, "and playing with tinker toys! Now look at you! I'm getting old…"

Yuffie smirked at Sephiroth, "Tinker toys?"

Sephiroth huffed, "I was very _young_."

"Oh, it's not what it sounds like," Rosem said, running water into the teapot, "he was just as rambunctious as any other boy. He would build with the tinker toys, and then he would jump on them and break them. Then he would build them again, break them, build them, break them…you get the picture. 'Course those were the days he had his stuffed animals too."

Sephiroth slowly started turning beet red. Lucrecia and Yuffie could barely believe their ears. Hojo stopped trying to get Rosem to be quiet and got a mischievous smirk on his face, "Oh, yes, I remember the stuffed animals."

Red XIII's eyes turned into saucers, "Stuffed animals?"

Sephiroth growled, "I was _very_ young."

"Stuffed animals?" Red seemed horrified, "What kind of stuffed animals?"

"The kind that Marlene has, Red," Yuffie answered, "You know, toys."

Red sighed with relief, "Oh, I thought you meant _real_ stuffed animals."

Rosem scoffed, "Of _course_ they weren't real stuffed animals!"

"Well, it was Shinra, Inc. You could never tell."

"…Point taken. But it was very cute; him all snuggled inside his little toddler bed surrounded by stuffed animals..."

"May we drop the stuffed animals?" Sephiroth asked, a dangerous edge to his voice. He whispered to Yuffie, "If this gets out, we are _through_."

Yuffie chuckled, "I'd be more worried about Hojo and Rosem blabbing it out than me."

"I mean it, Yuffie."

"I won't say a word."

The teakettle whistled. Rosem exclaimed, "Ah ha! Water's ready. Let's have tea."

"Rosem," Hojo had returned to being serious. He was seated beside Lucrecia on a couch. Sephiroth and Yuffie were on a loveseat. Red was content with the floor.

Rosem stuck his head out of the kitchen, "Yeah, buddy ol' pal?"

"Aren't you going to ask something?"

Rosem's eyes searched around before he replied, "Like what?"

Hojo gritted his teeth, "Don't you think it's the least bit odd that three dead people have shown up at your door?"

"If you ask me, I've seen creepier. But since you're wondering, yeah, I thought it was kind of weird. But I'm sure there's a good explanation. It can't be any weirder than that time the lock on the door to the GI cave broke. It'll wait 'til we get our tea."

Red's eyes widened, "When did _that_ happen?"

"When did what happen?"

"The lock on the door to the GI cave broke?"

"It was while you were away a few months ago. A few weird things happened, but nobody got hurt. Funnily enough, it shut again and locked by itself like nothing had happened. Say, could one of y'all give me a hand with this tea tray?"

"I'll help," Lucrecia got up.

Red groaned, "Does nothing faze you at all, Dr. Rosem?"

"I gave up being easily fazed about ten years ago. Cream or sugar, anyone?"

While they all had tea (Red gently lapped his from a bowl on the floor) Hojo, Sephiroth, and Lucrecia gave their stories of their mysterious resurrections to Rosem. Rosem was not very surprised to hear that there really was no apparent explanation for the resurrections, even though he had been hoping for one. He realized that it was up to him, the Jenova expert, to come up with a possible solution. He said to them while they were finishing their teatime, "Well, I'll have to think about this one. I could just say that it's because all of you have the pure Jenova cell solution instead of the serum that Hojo developed at Shinra, Inc."

"You mean there could be more dead people come back to life?" Yuffie asked, wide-eyed.

"Possibly," Rosem said, "And we just haven't seen them yet. But it's the _why_ I don't understand. Why all of you have come back? …It could be that the Planet has summoned you back to complete a specific task. That isn't a remote possibility…Perhaps I should take some blood samples from each of you to examine." He said to Hojo, "I have my own little laboratory in the back of the house, you know," he turned to the others, "Would you like to see it?"

Yuffie shrugged, "Sure."

Sephiroth had a long time ago determined that he would stay away from laboratories whenever possible. He was not relishing the prospect of a getting poked with a needle for a blood test, no matter how nice Rosem was.

"I think I'll stay in here," he said.

"Me too," Red XIII said, lying his head on his front paws. He didn't want to see another laboratory either.

Rosem blinked, "But I'll need a sample from you too, Sephiroth."

"It can wait," Hojo said, "Come along, Lucrecia."

Yuffie seemed a little disappointed that Sephiroth opted to stay behind, but Lucrecia urged her to come with her and Hojo. She knew that Sephiroth and Red (from what she had heard about his stay at Shinra) would not want to go. Yuffie left the living room with the others, looking behind over her shoulder on her way out. Sephiroth took a deep breath and settled back on the loveseat. Red stood up and stretched.

"Bad memories?" he asked.

"What?" Sephiroth raised an eyebrow.

"The laboratory. It's rather strange; I'm sure any lab run by the likes of Edward Rosem is a lot friendlier than any lab Shinra had. But still…"

"It makes your skin crawl to think about all those needles and beakers and test tubes."

"And glass cages with no privacy."

"And strange people in white coats coming in and out of your room."

"Not knowing what exactly they have written on those clipboards they carry around."

"Not knowing if they're watching you, constantly, through two-way mirrors."

"Getting poked and prodded."

"Being made to run on treadmills."

"Skin samples, hair samples, blood samples."

"…It's funny…It all stopped when…"

"When what?" Red asked.

"Never mind. Did Dr. Hojo do all that to you when you were in the laboratory?"

Red hopped up to the couch, and said while circling around to settle down, "I shouldn't complain. It wasn't painful; but I hated being cooped up. I wanted to run free in the red valleys, to breathe free air and smell the smoke coming from the chimneys and the tobacco from the old folks' pipes. Dr. Hojo actually treated me with a lot of respect. …One of these days I'm going to ask him what he really intended by keeping me there."

"Hmm…"

"It's so good to be home." Red settled his head on the sofa.

Sephiroth looked at the remainder of tea in his cup, "I…don't have a hometown."

Red XIII thought better of mentioning that technically Nibelheim was Sephiroth's hometown. Considering that town's fate under a particular SOLDIER, it would not have been a tactful thing to say. Instead, he said, "Neither does Yuffie; not anymore."

"I know…"

"…Speaking of Ultimate Weapon, its death opened up a path to a forest nearby. Very beautiful; we should go there during this trip."

"Hmm…"

Red's nose twitched but his voice was as deadpan as usual, "There are a lot of little frogs there. You should feel right at home."

Sephiroth glared, "What?"

"Nothing."

Yuffie bounced back into the living room alone, carrying a long-haired, grey-furred, chubby, languid cat. Red paid no mind to it. Sephiroth did not know what to think.

"They all needed to talk alone," Yuffie announced; then she changed the subject to the ball of fur which encompassed both of her arms, "This is Portia. Isn't she sweet? She just started rubbing against my legs and purring…"

Sephiroth was not experienced with household animals, so he just shrugged. Yuffie sat down beside him on the loveseat, still holding the cat. She stroked the cat on the head and scratched underneath its chin. She said, "Dr. Rosem really likes cats. The cat on the porch, Boudreaux, is his too. He says he has a calico around here named Wallis, but she's really skittish. She hides from visitors. I think Dr. Rosem was going to tell me more before Hojo said that they needed to do the tests and I didn't need to crowd Dr. Rosem."

_In the laboratory…_

"So," Rosem said, placing Lucrecia's blood sample in a beaker, "Sephiroth knows the truth?"

"Yes," Hojo replied.

"Well, that's good to know."

"It's not exactly a perfect situation, Rosem."

"I gathered that from the way you kept shushing me."

"You know all those stories about Sephiroth burning villages and calling down Meteor?"

"Yes?"

"Well, they're true."

"…Oh."

"He was insane, Rosem," Lucrecia said, "He truly did not know what he was doing."

"After the environment Dr. Gast and Dr. Hemin put him in for the first several years of his life, that wouldn't shock me, not in the least."

"Dr. Hemin," Lucrecia shuddered, "I had forgotten about her."

"Sorry to remind you," Rosem shuddered also. Dr. Hemin had been the medical doctor assigned to Sephiroth and she had a big part in his confined upbringing. A colder soul was hard to meet, except perhaps for the old President Shinra himself.

"What happened to her?" Lucrecia asked.

A silence followed before Hojo answered, "…She died, after I was made the head of Research and Development."

"How old was Sephiroth?"

"Eleven. He was taken into SOLDIER training not long after."

"Hojo…" Rosem spoke, "What exactly did you mean by saying it's not exactly a perfect situation? If all of you are free from Jenova's hold, then why wouldn't things be all right? Surely you've explained…"

"Rosem," Hojo interrupted, "Please, not now."

"What is it?" Lucrecia asked.

"My dear," Hojo said, "Rosem and I must discuss something, alone."

Lucrecia looked uncertainly at the two men, but she agreed and told them that she would be waiting in the living room with the others. After Hojo was sure that she was out of hearing range, he turned to his old friend and said, "Rosem, Lucrecia knows very little of the things that I did after she was taken from me. And I want to keep it that way."

Rosem blinked, "But she needs to know eventually…"

"Perhaps, but when she finds out, I want it to be from me and not from you in casual conversation."

"Ohhh, I understand."

"Good."

"But since it's just the two of us, you can answer my question. I noticed that while all of you were explaining your coming back, Sephiroth called you Hojo and he called Lucrecia Mother. What makes _her_ so special and not you?"

"He has not forgiven me."

"Forgiven you for _what_? Saving his life umpteen times?"

"He doesn't know about that."

"Why not?"

Hojo gritted his teeth and sat in a chair, "For one, he would not believe me if I told him. And what difference would it make now? All of it is in the past; over and done with. He does not hate me, I don't think. But he…it is difficult to explain."

"You can tell me, Hojo," Rosem sat beside Hojo and supported his hands on his cane, "You can tell me everything; you know that."

Hojo looked away, "I did all of this. I let Dr. Gast put the Jenova cells into Lucrecia. Isn't that unforgivable? But I've paid for it. Oh, heaven knows I paid for it, many times. Do you know what it is like…Can you even begin to _imagine_ what it's like for your wife to be taken from you, to put your brother into a coffin because you turned him into a monster, for your own son to stare down at you and smirk as if you were an insect, to be the one to devise the worst form of slow execution, to murder a colleague and torture his wife to death, to have _all_ of it on your conscience, and for your only thoughts from day to day a wish to go back and not make that one _simple mistake_ that started the whole business. And then there was wondering what your life could have been like if you hadn't made that mistake, how you could have had a good life, with a wife and child that loved you, with friends, with peers that respected you… It isn't that difficult to imagine that Sephiroth would have a hard time forgiving the likes of me. I'm amazed that _Lucrecia_ forgives me. She acts like nothing ever happened! But Sephiroth… I don't blame him. I never did. But it…"

"It hurts, doesn't it?" Rosem softly asked, "It's all right for it to hurt, you know. You're a human being like everyone else and don't you forget that. Wallowing in your hate was enough to make you miserable for thirty years. And basking in your own," Rosem held up two of his fingers like a quotation mark, "'immortality' was enough to get you killed."

Hojo sardonically chuckled, "I think people would have paid money to know if Shinra's mad scientist ever felt pain. I'm surprised Vincent didn't sell tickets to display my corpse in public. He would have made a tidy profit."

"…And you haven't said anything to Sephiroth about what happened? You need to, you know."

"He's stubborn; he won't listen."

"Kind of like _you_, hmm? Just give him time, Hojo…"

"I wish I had your certainty."

"One of these days he'll warm up to you; trust me."

Hojo did not respond but got up and left the room to go to the back of the house, away from the living room. Rosem sighed and rose slowly from his chair. He had always been Hojo's friend, even when Hojo committed the most terrible acts. Rosem knew that without his friendship, Hojo's deeds would have become even more horrible. Rosem owed his life to Hojo; that alone was enough for friendship. In all of his madness, Hojo never showed malice towards Rosem, even when Rosem openly disapproved of the things Hojo was doing. And here was Sephiroth, the compendium of all of Hojo's hopes and dreams, treating his father as if he were a cockroach, refusing even to address him as his father. That was something that Rosem would not stand for. Sephiroth's treatment of Hojo was like a pot calling a kettle black, in Rosem's humble but accurate opinion.

These blood tests wouldn't take very long; just a few hours at most. And after that, if he could manage it, Rosem would get Sephiroth alone with him for a little "chat". As sure as the day was long, that silver-haired muscle-head would get a nice, big piece of his mind.


	29. Breaking Point

(Kit Thespian enters)

Kit Thespian: WAAAAHHH!!! I have no time to myself anymore! Being a Theatre Major doing "Fiddler on the Roof"; I'm not even a principle; I'm an old lady! Well, it doesn't help that I'm also the Props Master for the show. There are about a gazillion props.

(Cid enters)

Cid: What the heck is "Fiddler on the Roof"?

(Kit Thespian lets out a long, drawn-out gasp)

Kit Thespian: You uncultured philistine!

Cid: …What did I say?

Kit Thespian: I PUNISH YOU! (Snaps fingers)

Cid (sings, dances like Reb Teyve): _If I were a rich man, deedle, diddle-diddle, deedle-diddle-diddle-diddle dum. _

_All day long I'd biddy-biddy-bum, if I were a wealthy man! _

_I wouldn't have to work hard; deedle-diddle-diddle-deedle-deedle-diddle-diddle dum, _

_If I were a biddy-biddy rich, diddle-diddle-diddle-diddle man!_

Kit Thespian (snaps fingers with a flourish): OY!

Cid: What in the –_bleep_- was I just singing?!?

**Disclaimer:** Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein and she is not making money off of this. And she doesn't own "Fiddler on the Roof" either…goshdangit.

Chapter Twenty-Nine- Breaking Point

"Hello, my boy!" Rosem jovially approached Sephiroth while the ex-SOLDIER stood next to the Fire in the village. It was the middle of the night. Rosem had watched Sephiroth walk down the trails to the Fire in the front of town and he followed him there.

Sephiroth looked around and raised an arm to quiet the old man down, "Not so loud; you want to wake the whole town?"

"Oh, thppt!" Rosem raspberried, "You're just like your father; always shushing."

Sephiroth did not respond but looked into the flames. Rosem gingerly stepped up onto the platform and stood next to Sephiroth, leaning on his cane. He had already been a short man before age bent him over, so he practically looked like a midget next to the former General. Rosem looked up at him, studying him for a moment.

"Amazing…" he murmured.

"What is?"

"How you turned out. You know, I was already gone before your hair started turning completely silver. It was still black with silver streaks in it when Dr. Gast left Shinra. Do you remember?"

"Barely."

"I'd figure a man with your intelligence would have a better memory than that. Ah well. Turn around; let me see you more clearly."

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow.

"Oh!" Rosem pounded his cane against the ground, "Humor an old man!"

Sephiroth rolled his eyes and turned around. He bent over a little so Rosem could get a better look at him. Rosem took Sephiroth's chin into his free hand and gently turned his head side to side.

"Mmm-hmm…" Rosem smirked, "You get most of your looks from your mother; the eyes, the chin, the mouth…but you do seem to have your father's nose."

Sephiroth grimaced and turned back around to the fire. So, it was true, Rosem thought. Sephiroth truly disdained his father and disliked the thought of being like him at all. Of course, he didn't realize that by doing this he looked more like Hojo than ever, all stern and stubborn, with a grimace on his face.

"You don't seem to like my observations," Rosem said, sounding a little more serious, "Does it bother you so much that you have some of your father in you?"

"And why should I even call him my father?" Sephiroth sneered.

"Probably because he _is_ your father."

"What did he ever do to deserve my respect?"

That did it. Rosem fumed, "What did he _do_? Ohhh! You have another trait that your father possessed when he first came to Shinra: total pomposity…!"

"…Total what?"

Rosem didn't even stop to take a breath. He poked Sephiroth in the chest with his cane, "You, you, you! It's all about _you_! What _you_ suffered! Everything _you_ went through! I don't suppose you've ever stopped for one moment and thought about what Hojo went through. All the things he did to keep you alive!"

"What on _earth_ are you talking about?"

"Here you are sounding like the biggest, most selfish spoiled brat… All right, Hojo did some pretty frightful things, _dreadful_ things. I don't approve of all of the things he did. As a matter of fact, I chewed him out more than once. Not that he listened to me, but that's beside the point! He wasn't all there, you know! But _you_, you should be _grateful_ for some of the things he did! I don't suppose you know what happened when I discovered Ilfalna to be the last Ancient. It made the Jenova Project irrelevant, for the entire purpose of the project was to produce someone with the powers of the Ancients. That made _you_ irrelevant too. And you know what that meant to the old President Shinra."

"What did it mean?"

"Ahh, don't pretend to be naïve. Dr. Gast wasn't the first person to be put on the President's death list. _You_ were. He was going to sign the order for your execution, when you were only five years old. A technician called Geko Ellijen ran to tell your father; he didn't know that Hojo was your father, but he couldn't bear the thought of a little child being executed and he didn't trust Dr Hemin."

"Who is Dr. Hemin?"

"You'd know who I'm talking about if I explained it. But later. Your father went to the President's office as quickly as possible, and he spent two hours there carefully negotiating with the old president to save your life. Finally, the president tore up the order. But that wasn't the last time Hojo was going to have to save your life. Every so often, until you joined SOLDIER, the president would call your 'relevancy' into question. And every time, Hojo would stick his neck out for you and your life would be spared for a little while longer. Funnily enough, the President started to admire Hojo because of his cunning. And you'd think everything would be just hunky-dory after you became a great General and defeated Wutai…"

"Be just _what_?"

"But you were dangerous; far more dangerous than you yourself realized. There were people who wanted to dethrone the Shinras and place you in power. I would go to some of the secret meetings, just to see what would happen. Some of them were held here in Cosmo Canyon; some in Nibelheim. The President had to get rid of you but secretly and without suspicion. Didn't you think that being sent to Nibelheim was rather mundane for a person in your position?"

Someone nearby gasped. Rosem quickly turned around and saw a figure in the shadows. Sephiroth, despite his apprehension about what Dr. Rosem had just said, calmly turned towards the figure and said, "Your cover is blown, Yuffie."

"Shoot," Yuffie emerged into the light, "How long have you known I was here?"

"Since you followed me here."

"Gracious, me!" Rosem put his hand on his chest, "You've been there this entire time?"

"She's good at sneaking around," Sephiroth answered, "But I have very sensitive ears."

" But Dr. Rosem," Yuffie approached the old man, "What did you mean about the President and Nibelheim?"

"Er…ah…" Rosem was not sure if his information was for Yuffie's ears, even if she _was_ Sephiroth's significant "other." He looked questioningly at Sephiroth, who nodded in response. With this reassurance, Rosem took a deep breath and continued, "You went there with your partner Zack and a young lieutenant named Cloud Strife went with you as well, this you know. But did you ever know the identity of the other lieutenant who accompanied you?"

"His name was Garrison Boran," answered Sephiroth.

"_Wrong_. He was operating under a pseudonym; his real name was Rudolph Yaber, and he was a Turk. The President sent him on the trip to assassinate you."

Yuffie asked, "And how on earth was a little ol' Turk supposed to kill _Sephiroth_?"

Rosem replied, matter-of-factly, "Cruelly," he turned to Sephiroth, "Do you remember what happened to you after you ate Wutainese food for the first time? Your father told me all about it."

Sephiroth had never thought that this subject would come up. It was rather embarrassing actually, that he should have such a ridiculous weakness. He gave a sidelong glance to Yuffie, who was staring at him with curiosity. Sephiroth spoke through his teeth, "I had an allergic reaction…to the kramoibe flower seed oil."

Yuffie's eyes widened like saucers. Kramoibe flower seed oil was a commonly used preservative in Wutainese food. True, she had never used it much whenever she had the opportunity to cook (it wasn't very widely available these days), but he could have said something just in case Tifa may have used some in her cooking one day. And why should an allergy be so embarrassing? It wasn't as if he could help it. But Sephiroth looked ready to crawl underneath a rock because of his confession. Maybe this was why he was such a picky eater.

Rosem went on, "Not just a _little_ reaction, but a horribly _deadly_ reaction. If there hadn't been a SOLDIER nearby with the same allergy to give you a dose of epinephrine, you would have died. The Turk Yaber was given a bottle of kramoibe oil to put in your food. The President told him to make sure that you would be eating alone at one point and that Yaber would be the one to bring you your food. Your throat would swell to where you would not be able to shout, and then would close altogether, suffocating you. Judging by your angry and panicky reaction during your first allergic reaction, the President guessed that you would lack the wherewithal during your episode to do anything helpful for yourself."

"But that's…that's ridiculous!" Yuffie interjected, "Surely Sephiroth would have some epinephrine with him; all people with allergies keep some with them."

"A little covert picking from the General's luggage would take care of that problem," Rosem spoke, "Precious time would be lost while Sephiroth would be searching for it. Anyway, something went wrong with the mission. Yaber got lost in the mountains during the trip to the Mako reactor. By the time he found his way back to Nibelheim, the village was burning to the ground, and you were in the midst of it, slaughtering innocent people. He fled to here, in Cosmo Canyon; he was half-mad when we found him. We thought he was babbling nonsense, until your father came to me two weeks later. As far as your father knew at that point, you were dead. And a young lieutenant named Cloud Strife was to blame. Your comrade Zack was with you as well, but Hojo placed most of the blame on Strife."

"That makes sense," Yuffie said, "Cloud said that he was in worse shape than Zack was when they escaped. But I had always thought that was because Zack didn't react to the treatments that Hojo gave him like Cloud did."

"Hey, he's my friend, but when Hojo has a vengeance against someone, it can get ugly. Yaber was staying with me when Hojo came to my house to tell me all about it. Yaber heard everything Hojo said, which including saying that you were his son. Yaber was a young Turk; he hadn't been hardened by his work yet, and he felt horribly guilty about his mission, because the President had told him that you weren't really human. He emerged from the living room to apologize to Hojo and explain what had almost happened. Now, Hojo wasn't very happy…"

"I can imagine," Sephiroth muttered.

"But instead of shooting the Turk's head off like he wanted to, he found a better use for Yaber. Having a Turk loyal to him would prove very useful in the future."

"Wait…" Yuffie thought of something, "What did you say the Turk's first name was?"

"Rudolph. Rudolph Yaber."

"Rudolph…Rudolph…Ru…_Rude_? With the bald head and sunglasses?"

Rosem blinked, "You know him?"

"You could say that I know him; we _all_ know him! We…fought him and his friends a lot. Rude was in league with Hojo?"

"Yes, and I believe he was so until Hojo's death a year ago."

"…I would have never guessed that Rude was working for him!"

"The point is," Rosem went back to Sephiroth, "the president went to strange lengths to see you dead. Even without what happened in the Mako Reactor in the Nibel Mountains, I wonder if he would have succeeded in his assassination plots eventually. After your supposed death while the rest of the Shinra Empire mourned the President had a private celebration, according to Yaber, who was told so by some of his associates. Even if you hadn't died in the method that he had planned for you, you were still dead and gone. The President even considered exposing you for a traitor who had destroyed Nibelheim, but he knew it would suit the people more to have a martyred hero. Your father's every thought from that time on was finding you wherever you were. If you were alive, then _wonderful_. If you were dead, he would bury you."

Sephiroth really did not know what to say to all of this. He clenched his jaw together and stared at the bonfire. It was a hard revelation; he had believed his position in Shinra to be so secure when he was there. For all the pain that his memories at Shinra had, there had always been the feeling of being singled out, of being privileged. In his pride, he had never imagined that anyone there wished to harm him. He thought he was their prize possession. Half of the fun of giving into Jenova had been the thought that he was robbing Shinra of their silver idol. Knowing that he had been as expendable as any soldier cut even deeper into what was left of his conceit.

"All I am saying, Sephiroth," Rosem continued, "is that you need to be a little more careful of the opinions you throw at your father. Some of them, while not completely unjustified, are uncalled-for. He fought so hard for you."

"I…" Sephiroth gritted his teeth, "I cannot forget everything that happened so easily… I _cannot_."

Rosem agitatedly tapped his stick on the ground, "Suit yourself. You're only making you and everyone else around you miserable for your bitterness." And with that, Rosem turned around and hobbled away, leaving Sephiroth and Yuffie at the Fire. He called over his shoulder, "And by the way, I'll be expecting that blood sample from you tomorrow."

After Rosem disappeared around the wooden stairwell, Yuffie held out her hand to Sephiroth, "Let's walk. And we don't have to talk about anything…"

Sephiroth ignored her, "It sounds incredible, doesn't it? But do you know? It makes sense!" Sephiroth laughed, but it was dark and sarcastic laughter. It frightened Yuffie, but she stood her ground. He started to pace around, "Now you know my most humiliating secret…"

"Sephiroth, it's not shameful to have an _allergy_. I mean, you really should have told me…!"

"That's _not_ what I'm talking about. I mean how foolish I was all of those years to think that I was their golden boy, wallowing in my foolish arrogance, only to find that the entire time I was little better than a toy to them. Once I outlive my usefulness, they throw me away!"

Yuffie stamped her foot, "Sephiroth, stop it! That's in the past! It's over now! Why does this matter to you?"

"Because the one person that I've hated for all of my troubles throughout all of these years…isn't the one responsible. In fact, from everything I hear, he seems to be the only one who did not think of me as a mere tool. And the man that I looked up to the most left me behind to _die_!"

Now Yuffie realized what was bothering him, "…I see… You're having a tough time dealing with the fact that you were wrong, hmm? Guess what? We _all _have to deal with that sooner or later. You're not the first person in the world to be wrong about something! And it wasn't as if you were no value to the Shinra. Your value was _too_ great; greater than theirs! They were threatened by you…"

"If what Rosem says is true…I can't even think of what to say to him, Yuffie."

"If you can't think of anything to say, then all right! Don't say anything! Take it slowly."

"How?"

"Well, you could actually start calling him 'father', for a change. You call Lucrecia 'Mother' but you don't call Hojo 'Father'…"

Sephiroth huffed, "Father? _Him_? Whether he interceded for me or not, that doesn't mean…"

"There you go again! You're more stubborn than an ox!"

"…What makes you think he would let me call him father?"

Yuffie shrugged, "I don't know! But it's worth a try. We can't go on like this, with this horrible anger between you and him. It has to stop or you'll both go crazy."

Sephiroth growled and turned around. Even with all of this new information, he could not think of Hojo as a father to him. But whose fault was that? Hojo's or his? It didn't make sense. All right then, he was being stubborn, but he was not ready to take that step.

"…Please don't turn your back on me, Sephiroth," Yuffie said, "Please…let's take a walk, and not say anything, like you like it."

Sephiroth did not respond. Tears stung Yuffie's eyes; what was going through his mind to make him cold? She _hated_ it when he was like this!

"Fine, then! Be that way! Dr. Rosem's right; you're making everybody miserable, including me and you!"

Having said that, Yuffie turned on her heel, left the Fire platform, and started walking towards the staircase. But before she took five steps, she felt a sharp pain in her left arm and she was jerked around quickly to find Sephiroth's glowing green eyes glaring down at her. He was clearly angry; not upset, _angry_. Apparently he didn't like Yuffie turning her back on him either. Yuffie had underestimated the depth of his torment at that time. But now he held a vice-grip on her arm, probably not even aware of the pain he was causing her. She tried to wrestle out of it, but it only caused more agony.

"Sephiroth, don't…"

"Miserable?" Sephiroth hissed.

"You're hurting me…!"

"You only _think_ you know what misery is!"

"Sephiroth!"

"Yes, you've been cold and hungry. You've seen the horrors of war. You've known grief. But are you burdened at every waking moment by what you've done? Are you constantly reminded of every horrible thing you have committed? Do you see the faces and hear the screams? And can you imagine fearing yourself all the time?" Sephiroth spoke as if every syllable was an effort, "I have no peace! My past curses my future!" He grabbed her shoulders and shook her, "You foolish, _foolish_ girl! If you knew what was good for you, you would never come near me or think of me again! Better yet, you would _kill_ me! Because I can kill you, like I killed those villagers, like I have almost killed you before! Yuffie, if I killed you…I would have to kill myself. I couldn't live with…!" his voice fell, "Yuffie…don't you understand? I _love_ you…and I can't bear the thought of hurting you…"

Tears that had been welling up in Yuffie's eyes chose that moment to fall down her cheeks. At this admittance, Sephiroth's grip grew weak and so did his knees. He slid down until he was on the ground, his hands wrapped around Yuffie's waist. Yuffie was numb with shock; Sephiroth was shocked himself at his own words, but they were true.

"What I have done…" Sephiroth hoarsely spoke, "has destroyed so many lives. So much blood is on my hands…"

"Sephiroth," Yuffie managed to speak without her voice breaking, "what you have done is not as important to me as _you_ are."

"I couldn't stand it if…"

"Then let it be _my _decision. I love you too…" She bit back a sob, "And if you think for one second that I'm going to leave you alone, you've got another thing coming! You're stuck with me forever!" Although Yuffie tried to keep her trademark cheerfulness, she was crying, "I guess this means I'm stuck with you too…"

Sephiroth wanted to comfort her tears. He stood up and wrapped his arms around her and she buried her face in his chest. He ran his fingers through her hair, "I'm sorry…"

Yuffie looked up at him and smiled, "No, it's all right! I'm not sad! You've made me so happy!"

He made her happy; all of the pain and sufferings he had caused the rest of the world and he had managed to make the most important person in the world happy. Maybe there was hope for his future. Wasn't that cause for him to be happy as well? He leaned down and gently kissed her. She brushed the back of his head with her hand as warmth went through the both of them. The world would be against this, he knew. Well, _let _them. He surprised Yuffie by scooping her up in his arms and walking away from the Fire.

"Where are we going?" Yuffie asked.

"Where do you want to go?"

Yuffie giggled and spread one of her arms out, "To the Moon!"

"Well…" Sephiroth said, "I don't know about the _moon_, but you know Cosmo Canyon better than I do."

"There's a nice little spot at the top of the staircase near the inn."

"Answer this question for me: what does one do to make an honest woman out of you?"

Yuffie's jaw nearly dropped, "You mean…like…_marry_? Are you _serious_? _Wait_ a minute…make an honest woman of me? Does think mean you plan to make a _dishonest_ woman out of me first? You cad!" Yuffie playfully slapped his shoulder. She said, "Actually, marriage is a very funny term these days, since there's no government to issue marriage licenses and therefore, 'legal' marriages."

Sephiroth's brow furrowed, "Then how are Cloud and Tifa married?"

Yuffie smirked, "Really, they just have their commitment to each other to make their marriage binding. They left one day and came back saying they were married and they've been married ever since. I believe the term is called 'married by habit and repute.' And Cloud gave Tifa his name."

"…I was never given a last name."

"So?"

"I have no name to give you, in that respect."

Yuffie leaned her head on his shoulder, "So, you really _are_ proposing to me?"

"Yes."

"I accept, Mr. Sephiroth."

"You _do_?"

"Of course. Where will we make our home?"

"…You're really saying 'yes'?"

"Yes. Now let's talk business, while we're still out of our heads."

"…As you well know, bounty hunting monsters turns out a tidy profit."

"So we'll make our living like Cloud does. Good plan."

"And I would prefer we live in a location that's rather remote, but at the same time people will have money to pay us."

"Well, here is not a bad place for that. Icicle Inn is plagued by beasts, and they have money. Maybe we're making this too complicated; we could stay in Kalm until we get on our feet on the ground. We already pay something of a 'tribute' to the house there with the bounty money we've gotten so far." Then she laughed, brushing her nose against Sephiroth's neck.

"What's so funny?" Sephiroth asked.

"I've just realized that my life is about to get a lot stranger and perhaps scarier, and I'm not afraid."

_At Nanaki's house…_

"I'm going to stay here," Hojo declared to his wife while they were alone in the living room. Neither one of them had been able to sleep. Lucrecia had been reading a book and he was looking at a painting on the wall, examining which ways the brush strokes went. At his statement, she looked up with surprise.

"Here, in Cosmo Canyon?" she asked.

"Yes. This is the only place suited to a scientist now." He circled around to face Lucrecia, "I would like you to stay with me, if it's not too much to ask."

Lucrecia put her book and aside and stood up, "Yes, I'll stay with you. What a silly question…"

"Well, it didn't hurt to ask."

"We'll talk to Red XIII; perhaps he'll let us house-sit for him," she looked around, "He needs _someone_ to keep this place clean while he's away. The house belonged to his adoptive grandfather, I think, before he passed away."

"Bugenhagen. All of us at Shinra knew him; he specialized in weapons, believe it or not, before he got peace-happy."

"I'm sure there will be no problem with us staying here… Has Sephiroth come in yet?"

"No; he went out hours ago…I think he's with Yuffie."

"How do you know?"

"I haven't seen Sephiroth, but Yuffie came back about ten minutes ago, while you were reading. I was in the hallway, coming from the restroom. She was sneaking out the back door with a white sheet, a comforter, and a pillow."

Lucrecia put a hand to her mouth, "…Oh dear."

"Fortunately I was the only one to see her and I didn't let on to her that I noticed what she was doing. Whatever they do is _their_ business," Hojo straightened his glasses, "although I doubt their friends will see it that way."

"But…But…they…Sephiroth and Yuffie, I mean…"

"I believe their intentions are honorable."

"Sneaking around at night? _We _didn't sneak off like that. We had a ceremony and a party with our friends first when we got married."

"Times have apparently changed; and you are not familiar with Wutainese customs. After the war, some of the brighter Wutainese people came to work at Shinra. I overheard several conversations; I speak their language, you know. Apparently a husband and wife must have their wedding night lying on a white sheet."

"But why…oh." Lucrecia turned red.

Hojo nodded, "The white sheet has significance in that way. If they were going off to have a little fun, they would just take a sleeping bag, most likely. I would have to say that they've made this decision rather quickly though."

"…Not _terribly_ quickly. They've known each other for a while now. As I recall, you proposed to me four months after meeting me, and that's only because you were shy."

"I was _not_ shy, merely…"

"Shy. But I wonder where they are anyway."

"Well, _I'm_ not going to look; I'm not that curious."

Lucrecia put her hands on her hips, "Did I say anything about looking?"

"No, you didn't."

"Have either of you seen Sephiroth and Yuffie?" Cloud walked into the living room, his hair comically disheveled. Apparently he had been sleeping. He said, "Say, what are you two doing up? It's nearly two o' clock."

"We're going to bed soon," Hojo answered.

Cloud winced, "_Together_? On second thought, don't answer that. Good night." The blond promptly turned back around and went up the spiral staircase. As soon as he was out of hearing range, Hojo spoke:

"Well, his disgust at our relationship spared us having to answer the first question."

Lucrecia crossed her arms, "That wasn't very tactful of him at all. Remind me to whack him on the back of the head tomorrow, with a blunt object."

"Considering all of the circumstances, I think tomorrow is going to bring enough problems without that."


	30. On The Road Again

(Kit Thespian comes out onto the stage)

Kit Thespian: At last! My Senior Recital before graduation is completed! It's Spring Break! I feel happy! I feel happy!

(Enter Sephiroth)

Sephiroth: Well, I'm glad you feel happy. Are you going to post already?

Kit Thespian: My, aren't we impatient?

Sephiroth: Yes, _we're_ impatient! Me, and all the rest of the gang. You haven't posted for months!

Kit Thespian: Do you know what kind of strain it is going out into… No, of course you don't, you're video game character, for crying out loud!

Sephiroth: Exactly! I exist when you write! So write, already!

Kit Thespian: If you keep using that disrespectful tone with me, I just might make you do the latest craze.

Sephiroth: What latest craze?

(Kit Thespian snaps her fingers. Suddenly, Sephiroth is donning a banana suit with cups in his hands)

Sephiroth (chanting): _It's peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time! _

_Peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time! _

_Way-yeah! Way-yeah! Way-yeah! Way-yeah! _

_Now there you go! There you go! There you go! There you go! _

_Peanut butter je-elly! Peanut butter je-elly! Peanut butter je-elly! Peanut butter je-elly! _

_Peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly! Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat! _

_Peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly! Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat!_

(Kit Thespian snaps her fingers; Sephiroth goes back to normal)

Sephiroth (grins): Hey, that was actually pretty catchy.

**Disclaimer:** Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making money off of this. And the "Peanut Butter Jelly Time" song can be found on YouTube.

Chapter Thirty- On The Road Again

Yuffie woke up as the morning twilight began to creep into the horizon. The stars were still out, though a couple of them had already disappeared near the edges of the earth. Yuffie tried to move, but found she couldn't. A moment later she remembered that Sephiroth's arm was wrapped tightly around her, with his head resting behind hers. Some of his hair was wrapped around her too. She hoped he wouldn't pull it when he woke up. They were both cuddled underneath a thick comforter. Fortunately, the weather this morning was very warm and dry in Cosmo Canyon. Yuffie's eyes darted around, but fortunately they were high up enough from the village that no one would see them. That _would_ be awkward if someone did.

Sephiroth was still asleep. Yuffie had read somewhere that men got more tired than women did after…having so much fun. But it would be dawn soon. They needed to get up and get dressed before some unsuspecting explorer stumbled across them. Sephiroth would just throw the poor traveler his glare of doom and send the person running, but Yuffie didn't know if she could take the embarrassment. And imagine if he _talked_.

She gently tapped Sephiroth's arm and spoke softly, "Sephiroth, wake up…" He stirred a little, and Yuffie's voice got a little more playful, "Wake up, sleepyhead."

He shifted some more, but this time only to wrap his arm more tightly around her. She couldn't see his face, but she could almost feel him smirking.

"All right, you, it's almost morning," Yuffie said, "We need to get up." She took hold of his arm and pulled it off of her and gently brushed his hair away. She sat up and reached for her bra, which was lying nearby on the sheet. But no sooner had she clasped it on and straightened it did Sephiroth reach over, grab her, and pull her down. She squealed in surprise as he rolled on top of her and started kissing her neck. She laughed, but tried to sound irritated, "If you give me a love bite on my neck, you're in _big_ trouble, mister!"

"No problem," he kissed her passionately on the lips and then said, "I'll just give you one where it doesn't show." He kissed on the neck again, "Now let's see…" Before Yuffie could fuss at him some more, Sephiroth froze and listened intently. Yuffie listened but didn't hear anything.

Yuffie whispered, "Is someone coming?"

"…No, but someone just left their house."

There was a short silence, and then Yuffie said, "Let's get dressed, Sephiroth. We shouldn't do this in the daytime and in open space. Come on."

_Down in the village square at nine 'o clock…_

"We have to go to Nibelheim," Sephiroth said to Yuffie. They were sitting on the Fire platform. Unbeknownst to the others, Yuffie had sneaked the pillow and comforter back into the house and she put the white sheet with her things. Now they were enjoying a peaceful morning together. But Sephiroth's announcement filled Yuffie with concern.

"Nibelheim?" Yuffie's eyes widened, "But…Well, _I_ don't have a problem, but…you…"

"Perhaps there are answers there. I did not come to this decision lightly, Yuffie."

"All right, but after Dr. Rosem takes a blood sample. Remember?" Sephiroth nodded; after a silence, Yuffie continued, "What do you think the others will say?"

"My parents and Cloud might have a problem with going there. Vincent said he lives there sometimes, but I don't know if he'll tag along with us. I think we will just have to trek there on our own, if you don't mind."

"No, I don't mind. But I'm talking about us, what they will say about _us_. I've thought about it too. I've noticed that you haven't mentioned the possibility of Cid taking us to Nibelheim with his airship. I understand, with the price of fuel and all… But do you think he would take us there now…all things considered? I don't think he will."

"Well…"

"There they are!" They heard Cid call out behind them.

Sephiroth muttered, "I think we're about to find out."

They both turned around to find Cloud, Cid, Red XIII and Vincent approaching the Fire platform, the first two wanting to do severe damage to a certain ex-General, and the latter two secretly betting on who would win the upcoming confrontation. Fortunately, there was no one else in the square at this time of morning. The four had been searching for Yuffie and Sephiroth since they woke up, but it hadn't occurred to them to look in such a public place as the Fire platform.

Cloud seethed, "What were you doing with Yuffie last night, you miscreant!"

Sephiroth opened his mouth to answer (probably not very politely) but Yuffie piped up first, a laugh hidden in her statement, "I won't have you speak to my husband that way, Cloud!"

The reactions were mixed. Cid's jaw dropped and so did his cigarette. Vincent looked back and forth between the newlyweds. Red XIII said, "Your 'whats'-band?" And Cloud fainted.

Yuffie replied to Red's statement, ignoring Cloud's predicament, "_Hus_-band."

"I don't suppose one of you is going to help him?" Sephiroth asked, referring to the fallen blond warrior.

Cid immediately went to the ground to assist Cloud. And Vincent turned to Red XIII, "Your group is incapacitated. I win the bet."

"The confrontation is not quite over," Red declared.

"Yuffie!" Cid was shaking Cloud while addressing the ninja, "You went and _married_ him? You're gonna stay the rest of your life with _him_?"

"Like I said, Cid, I won't have you speak about my husband that way," Yuffie spoke, crossing her arms.

"But-but-but…you-you…Aw…!" And a stream of profanity left Cid's mouth as he gave up on trying to reason with Yuffie and went back to trying to revive Cloud; he then snapped, slapping Cloud's face, "Wake up, you big dummy!"

"I'll get some water," Vincent said and he slowly meandered to the nearest fountain.

"You're going to be in trouble when he wakes up!" Cid growled at Sephiroth, "_Huge_ trouble!"

"Cid, please don't make such a fuss!" Yuffie pleaded, "I'm not a baby and I can make my own decisions."

"And considering our friend's present constitution," Sephiroth said, "he's not going to be much of a threat to me when he wakes up."

The water, when at last Vincent threw it on Cloud's face, did wonders and he woke up immediately. After sputtering for a few moments, his face turned red with anger when he remembered why exactly he had fainted. He leapt to his feet.

"You two are married, hmm? Well, _congratulations_! Just running off without telling any of us…!"

"Why not?" Vincent interrupted, "You and Tifa did the same thing."

Cloud and the others turned surprised towards Vincent, "Don't tell me you're taking _his_ side…"

"And why not?" Vincent crossed his arms, "He _is_ my nephew."

"So _now_ you're adhering to familial ties?"

"There's no need to be so disagreeable."

Red spoke up, putting aside the bet and trying to be diplomatic, "I'd have to agree with Vincent on this, guys. There's no need…"

"What is going on?" Hojo asked as he and Lucrecia (who had her arm in Hojo's) reached the bottom of the stairs.

At the presence of Sephiroth's parents, the opposing group fell speechless. Even though they weren't sure that Hojo would be indignant at their going against Sephiroth and Yuffie's marriage, they knew that if _Vincent_ had decided to rise up in Sephiroth's defense, there was no telling what Hojo would do. And they also knew the possibilities concerning Lucrecia's reaction; possibilities that none of them were willing to tap into. And Vincent and Red didn't say anything, because they wanted to see if the other two would be foolish enough to reply to Hojo's question in a negative context. So given all these factors, it was up to the new couple to break the silence.

Yuffie bounded over to Lucrecia, holding her arms out and smiling, "Lucrecia! Sephiroth and I got married! We're in-laws!"

"Oh!" Lucrecia squealed and hugged Yuffie, "That's wonderful!"

Cloud and Cid looked like one could have fried eggs on their scalps. It wasn't so much the fact that Sephiroth and Yuffie had gotten married that they had gone over their heads. It was at this moment that Hojo noticed their expressions. He turned to his wife and said, "Now, dear, I'm sure that the newlyweds would like some moments to themselves." He glanced over at Sephiroth. Sephiroth took the hint.

"Let's go, Yuffie," he took hold of Yuffie's hand.

"But why?" she asked.

"To get our things."

"We're leaving already?"

"Just come with me."

"But…"

Sephiroth sighed, picked Yuffie up, and hoisted her over his shoulder. She yelped, "Sephiroth! Put me down right now! I will have respect…!" And she kept going as he walked up the steps. Eventually she huffed and gave up and she and Sephiroth disappeared around the corner.

"So," Hojo said, dryly, "happy occasion."

"Yes, 'tis," Vincent replied, equally dry.

"You don't seem very happy, though," Hojo turned to Cid and Cloud; the tone of his suggested that he wasn't in the mood for a hostile response from the aforementioned two. He wasn't necessarily leaping for joy at his son's decision, but he would be blasted before Cloud and Cid and whoever-else made Sephiroth's life a misery. If Sephiroth were miserable, then Lucrecia would be miserable. And if Lucrecia were miserable, well…that would make Hojo's life a veritable hell. It had been a hell before he met Lucrecia so many years ago, it was hell ever since she was taken from him, and Hojo felt like he had suffered enough. As it was, Hojo was not doing so badly for himself.

As for Vincent, he was starting to like Sephiroth and didn't mind so much the position of "uncle." And if Cloud was going to make a nuisance of himself, Vincent was beginning to realize that he would rather take up arms with Sephiroth any day of the week. And as for Hojo, despite past wrongs and aside from the fangirls incident (which Vincent would find some clever way of avenging himself one day; he just hadn't decided how), he was a lot easier to talk to than anyone in AVALANCHE. Vincent wasn't doing so badly for himself at this point in time either.

And as for Red XIII, he had discreetly stepped away during the entire business and was currently following Sephiroth and Yuffie up to his house to say goodbye to them. Let Vincent win the darn bet; he didn't want any part in this hostility.

Fortunately, Cid thought of something to say that would deviate from unfriendly remarks, "Where are Sephiroth and Yuffie going? He said something about getting their things."

Vincent's brow furrowed, "Hmm, I _was_ wondering about that actually."

_At Dr. Rosem's house…_

Dr. Rosem nervously rubbed his hands together after the young couple sitting in his living room finished telling him their plans. Sephiroth's blood test showed the same thing that Hojo and Lucrecia's had. The Jenova cells were active, but it was no different than it had been in anyone with Jenova cells before their deaths apparently. It seemed to be another dead end. That only fueled Sephiroth's decision to go to the town of his birth. Rosem said to the couple, "So, you're going to Nibelheim? But why?"

"Maybe there are answers there," Sephiroth answered, "…And it doesn't seem like we're going to be too welcome with our friends anymore. Even if they don't openly object to my and Yuffie's union, there won't be any peace right now."

Rosem nodded, "Hmm…a pitiful shame that it should come to that; a very pitiful shame."

"Rowr…" a little creature meowed near Sephiroth's feet. He looked down and it was a small calico cat, rubbing herself against Sephiroth's legs. Sephiroth remembered Yuffie mentioning another cat belonging to Dr. Rosem who was shy of strangers. For such a little cat, it had a very big "rowr."

Rosem chuckled and gestured towards the cat, "Well, it looks like little Wallis finally decided to show herself."

"She likes you!" Yuffie giggled as Wallis jumped up into Sephiroth's lap. The cat sniffed Sephiroth's clothes and started tramping her paws up and down against his thighs. Sephiroth had little experience with cats and had no idea what it meant. He kept his hands at his sides, staring at the creature in his lap.

"Why don't you pet her, Sephiroth?" Yuffie asked.

"What is she doing?" Sephiroth raised an eyebrow.

"I call it 'marching'," Rosem grinned, "Cats only do it when they are indescribably happy. Why don't you pet her? I think you've got a new friend."

Sephiroth gingerly raised up a hand and rubbing it along the cat's head and neck. She began to purr loudly. Yuffie grinned at the cute image. Sephiroth turned his head towards the door.

"Someone's coming," he said.

"Yo, Dr. Rosem! You there?" a familiar voice chimed from the other side of the front door. Wallis jumped off of Sephiroth's lap and ran towards Rosem's bedroom. Yuffie's eyes grew wide as saucers as she recognized the voice.

"Omigosh!" she gasped. The front door opened and Yuffie grabbed an afghan that was draped over the edge of the sofa and threw it over Sephiroth. Sephiroth was about to throw the drapery off and demand what the meaning of this was when he looked through the holes in the afghan to find three young people in blue suits walk through the door. He recognized the manner of dress. These were Turks. They would probably recognize him. Of course, he had no notion on how on earth Yuffie was going to explain the man with the afghan over his head.

The first Turk to walk in was a short man with a spiky red mullet and two red marks (Sephiroth couldn't quite tell if they were scars or tattoos) lining his cheeks. He had a pair of pilot's goggles on his forehead and a taser strapped to his belt. He wore his goggles in the same manner that Cid Highwind did. The next person to follow was a very tall man with no hair, donning a pair of sunglasses. Sephiroth remembered the description from last night and decided that this was Rudolph Yaber, a.k.a. Rude. And the last person to come in was a petite lady with short blond hair. She followed closely behind Rude. She was the first to notice Yuffie and the covered Sephiroth. She blinked and cocked her head in surprise but didn't get a chance to speak up.

"What's up, Dr. Rosem?" the red-headed Turk grinned, "Sorry to barge in on you like this, but we've heard some rumors goin' around…"

"Hello, Reno," Rosem managed to keep a completely calm look on his face, and any flustering could be interpreted as surprise from the Turks' entrance. He turned to the other two, "Rude, Elena, how are you?"

"We're fine," Elena said. She turned to Yuffie, "You're that Yuffie Kisaragi, right? What are you doing here? And who is _that_?"

Yuffie controlled the anxiety in her voice, "This is my husband…Tamrelan."

"Tamrelan?" Reno raised an eyebrow, "I remember there being a General Tamrelan once, right before Sephiroth."

"What's with the blanket?" Rude pointed towards Sephiroth.

"Don't come near him," Yuffie said, "He has shingles."

"Oh!" Elena gasped and stood behind Rude.

"Er…" Rude muttered, "I thought that shingles weren't contagious."

There was a brief silence before Yuffie said, "Well, that may be so, but they're very painful; I'll thank you not to come close."

"I didn't think you could get them on your face either," Rude commented.

"…Well, it's a very special case."

Elena sighed with relief upon learning that the disease was not contagious. Reno couldn't care less who the man in the afghan was and he turned back to Dr. Rosem, "So, anyway, we've heard a rumor: that a certain silver-haired warrior has returned from the dead…"

"Sephiroth!" Elena blurted, "They say he's back!"

"Who says?" Rosem asked.

"An ex-SOLDIER and his buddies we ran into on the way here," Reno answered.

"_Why, oh why, didn't I just kill them?_" Sephiroth thought, rolling his eyes. But judging by his impression of these mercenaries, it would never occur to any of them in a million years that Yuffie Kisaragi would have married him, much less that he would be hiding underneath an afghan in Dr. Rosem's living room. There _was_ one cause for concern, though. The Masamune was leaning against the wall nearby by his and Yuffie's things. Rude was the first to notice it.

"Hey, that kind of looks like Sephiroth's sword," he pointed towards the long weapon, "You know, the Masamune."

"Isn't it a beaut?" Rosem spoke, grinning, "It's an exact replica. I bought it in Rocket Town." Both Sephiroth and Yuffie were glad that Rosem was quick on his feet.

Reno raised an eyebrow, "I didn't see any in the stores."

"Well," Rosem shrugged, "It was from a less-than-reputable salesman, if you get my meaning."

"Oh…neat," Reno walked over to the large sword and tried to grab it. The sharp edge gave him a good cut on the palm. He drew it back in pain, "Agh!" he swore and groaned, "that thing's _sharp_!"

"Serves you right," Rude said, crossing his arms, "everyone knows you're supposed to grab a sword by the hilt."

Reno sneered at him, not willing to admit that he was too short to grab the hilt properly. He just stood there, nursing his bleeding hand.

"Say, that looks pretty bad," Rosem said, "Come into the back and we'll see if I can't patch you up. You can't do your job with a wounded hand."

Reno pouted but did not object while he followed Rosem out of the room. Rosem turned back and called to Yuffie, "By the way, Yuffie, don't forget to take the replica with you to the shop to get the hilt replaced."

Yuffie grinned, "No problem, Dr. Rosem." After Reno and Rosem exited through the door to the laboratory, Yuffie put her hands on Sephiroth's shoulders, "Well, sweetie, your medicine is with our things and we need to get a good start on the road…"

"The road?" Elena said.

"We're going to…Goganga Village," Yuffie replied.

"…Good luck, especially if he's sick."

"He'll be fine. We have his medicine. He just doesn't want anybody to see the shingles. Out of curiosity, what's the other rumor?" While waiting for a reply, Yuffie "led" Sephiroth off of the sofa and toward their things.

Rude answered, "That Dr. Hojo has returned to life as well."

"Fancy that…" Yuffie said as she slung her pack over her shoulders.

"You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

"Why should I? And why should it matter, in the grand scheme of things?"

"Because there are those who would establish a new government in Junon, and none of them look upon the names of Sephiroth or Hojo very kindly."

"…And you've been sent to dispose of Dr. Hojo and Sephiroth if they are alive?"

"Our goal is our own business," Rude said, with a sidelong glance at Elena. She took the hint and pursed her lips together, indicating that she wouldn't say a word.

Yuffie wondered why none of the Turks noticed Dr. Hojo coming into town. But of course Hojo would have gotten out of public view while the Turks made their way through Cosmo Canyon. It was at this moment she realized that in order for Sephiroth to get his things, he would have to ditch the afghan. He waited silently and patiently for her orders, like a good "infirmed" husband would do. Yuffie then thought of something and turned to the two Turks, "Listen, my husband has to take off the afghan in order to get his stuff. Would you two mind turning around until we're gone? It won't take a minute."

Elena said, walking towards the back hallway, "It's okay; I've got to use the bathroom anyway."

After she left, Rude was still facing the couple. Yuffie stood still for a moment before asking, "Um, Rude, could you turn around?"

"Sure," the monosyllabic Turk replied. He turned and faced the wall. Yuffie checked to make sure there were no reflective surfaces Rude could look at before she took the afghan off. Sephiroth, relieved to be through with the itchy blanket, immediately reached up and began to straighten out his bangs.

Yuffie rolled her eyes and whispered as softly as she could manage, "You can preen yourself later. We've got to get out of here before they see you."

"As a side note," Rude said, startling Yuffie; but he remained facing the wall, "when we met the ex-SOLDIER, I bought him a drink, hoping to hear a little more than a mere sighting of General Sephiroth. Then I bought him another drink; soon he became so plastered that a truth serum couldn't have worked better. He made a confession to me."

"…Yes?"

"That the night he and his companions ran into Sephiroth, the reason _why_ they ran into him was because they were trying to rape a young Wutainese lady and he defended her against them. It was right outside of Kalm. That's where you live with the Strifes, right? The ex-SOLDIER passed out two minutes after this declaration and woke up the following morning, still in the bar, without remembering he said anything. You wouldn't remember an incident like that, would you?"

"No, I wouldn't. Bye, Rude," Yuffie made her way to the door and Sephiroth followed very closely behind. Within a moment they were gone with their things and their weapons.

Rude barely waited a moment before lazily turning his head and looking out the window. He watched Yuffie leave with her husband. He wasn't shocked by what he saw. He knew the moment he saw the Masamune leaning against the wall. Fortunately, he was the brains of the outfit, though Reno was the leader. Many people made assumptions about his eyesight because he wore sunglasses all of the time. Some people said they were prescription and he didn't want normal glasses. Yes, he did have a sickness when he was small that made his eyes sensitive to light. He had long recovered, but he had remained accustomed to the sunglasses. His eyesight was perfect, and he had seen Dr. Hojo peering out from behind a fruit stand while he and his compatriots walked through town. Hojo had obviously been making a point of only allowing Rude to see him.

He hadn't said a word to Reno or Elena, wisely. But he wondered how he might discreetly meet with Dr. Hojo. He hoped that Sephiroth and Yuffie had a good trip to Goganga Village or…wherever they were going. He wouldn't bother them unless needed, and he would make sure his friends didn't bother them either.

_The outskirts of Cosmo Canyon…_

Yuffie burst out laughing when she was sure that she and Sephiroth were far out of range from the Turks and the other members of AVALANCHE. Sephiroth was not amused.

"Yuk it up," he grunted, "You weren't the one who had to endure that ridiculous blanket for half an hour."

"For one, it was an afghan. And for two, it was barely ten minutes. And your hair is perfectly back to normal."

"I don't think Rude was fooled."

"He didn't seem so set on exposing you if he were. Remember what Dr. Rosem said about him. It doesn't seem that he would do anything against you or Hojo."

"Good call, telling them we were going to Goganga Village."

Yuffie snickered, "I did, didn't I? I hope they don't terrorize Reeve. Now that you've met the modern Turks, what do you think?"

"I think neither my father nor I have anything to worry about."

"Hey! Wait!"

Sephiroth and Yuffie turned to find Red XIII running to them from Cosmo Canyon. They had last seen him at his house when he said goodbye to him. Neither one of them had an inkling why Red XIII was following them there.

Red quickly explained, "I thought you might need a guide to the new bridge across the river. I didn't know if you knew the way or not."

Yuffie had known there was a bridge and she had Sephiroth buy a map in Cosmo Canyon, but she didn't let this on to Red XIII. While traveling through monster-infested land, it would be nice to have a third person in their party. But she looked at Sephiroth for approval.

Sephiroth nodded to Red, "Sure, come along."

"Just so you know," Red spoke as they continued down the red road, "Cid and Cloud were still fuming when I left them. They had both agreed that since there was nothing else to be found out in Cosmo Canyon, they would return to Kalm. It's a good thing you left when you did. I think it's rather odd, though. I can see Cid being rather set in his ways and decisions, but I would have thought Cloud would have shown a little more charity…"

"It's probably a pretty big blow to his pride," Yuffie remarked, "He's the 'leader' and we went behind his back and stood up to him in front of everybody. He lost control of us."

"Well, getting yourselves out of his spiky hair is probably the best thing for all of us right now." Red decided that it was best not to mention that when he left, Cid and Cloud were ranting something about, "_They are dead to us_!" and things like that. He changed the subject, "I spoke to Vincent before I left. He'll follow us to Nibelheim. He lives in the mansion there. Perhaps you could stay there as well."

Yuffie swallowed, "In that creepy place?"

"I've been there since Vincent cleaned the place up. It's livable now."

Yuffie and Sephiroth both looked at each other incredulously. At the words, "cleaned the place up" they both got similar images in their minds. Sephiroth immediately thought of Vincent pushing a vacuum cleaner while wearing an apron. Yuffie thought of Vincent taking a fresh vase of flowers on top of the grand piano and delicately arranging them in a nitpicky fashion. After seeing the vague expressions on their faces, Red XIII felt it was his duty to explain.

He said, "When I said 'cleaned up' I meant that he drove the monsters out. The mansion is still as dusty as ever."

They both murmured, "Ohhh."

_Back in Cosmo Canyon…_

Rude left Reno at the bar. Elena was in the hotel, getting some shuteye. Rude slowly walked down the street, looking around for Dr. Hojo. It was in the early evening, but Reno liked to start early with his drinking. Usually Rude was right there beside him, but today was different. After getting call on his PHS from Teresha, Rude had made it a point to seek out Hojo; and it was not to kill him for the authorities in Junon, but to protect him (and possibly Sephiroth) from those authorities. Rude was fairly sure that Sephiroth could defend himself, but he wasn't sure about Hojo.

Rude heard someone clearing their throat from behind a corner. He turned his head to find Dr. Hojo standing there, with his arms crossed. Rude just stood there and stared at him for a moment. He knew that Hojo wasn't a ghost, but it still felt like it. Rude was generally a calm person, so in response to seeing a man he thought was dead for an entire year he merely nodded his head once and said, "Hello, Sir."

"Hello, Yaber."

Dr. Hojo was the only person in the entire world who had the privilege of addressing Rude by his proper name. But it didn't sound derogatory coming from Hojo for some reason.

"So…" Rude murmured, "What now?"

"What are your plans?"

"I want you to know that if you need any sort of protection, my friends and I can give it to you."

"I doubt I will need it."

"The government forming in Junon wants Sephiroth's blood, because of the stories roaming around about Sephiroth's resurrection…"

"And no doubt there may be people who have seen _me_ who will start spreading 'rumors' about me."

"What are you going to do, Sir?"

"Stay here; I think this is the safest place."

"I agree. But I don't have any contacts here except Dr. Rosem but he doesn't know I used to work for you."

"Don't worry about me."

"Is it true…that your wife is with you as well?"

Hojo didn't answer.

Rude went on, "That is what Teresha said."

"It's true."

"I see…I don't know how my friends will react if I ever have to tell them what's going on. I'll try to keep it a secret as long as possible. But if I may ask, Sir…how?"

"I don't know. I _truly_ don't know."


	31. Home Sweet Creepy Home

(Kit Thespian enters, looks around)

Kit Thespian (meekly): Hi, guys. Sorry I haven't posted in so long.

(She looks around. No one is to be found)

Kit Thespian: All right; I'm getting a little unsettled here. Guys?

(She slowly turns around to find the main FFVII characters sneaking up behind her.)

Kit Thespian: EEEKKK!!!

(They jump her)

Sephiroth: Hold her down!

Cloud: Don't let her go until she writes the next chapter!

Yuffie: I've got her feet!

Kit Thespian: GUYS! GUYS! I've already written the dang chapter!

(The struggling stops)

Sephiroth: …You have?

Kit Thespian: YES, I HAVE! LEGGO!

**Disclaimer: Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making any money off of this.**

Chapter Thirty-One- Home Sweet Creepy Home

Sephiroth stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the gateway into the town of Nibelheim. Yuffie and Red XIII stopped a few feet in front of them when they noticed he was not going into the village. It had taken them two days of traveling to get there. He hadn't imagined the sight of the town that met its destruction at his hands seven years ago would impact him so much. Shinra had done a brilliant job rebuilding it, down to the very last detail; from the water tower in the town square to the truck, the town's only vehicle, in the front with the well. He realized that the last time he had walked through this gate, it was with Cloud Strife and Zack and Rude (disguised as a Shinra trooper). How arrogant he had been, and what an arrogant question he had asked Cloud.

"_How does it feel, coming back to your hometown?"_

He must have sounded like such a pompous ass, a portentous bully.

"_I wouldn't know, because I don't have a hometown. So, how does it feel?"_

Cloud's emotions that day must have been just a little similar to his. He probably couldn't feel anything for the shock. How ironic that Sephiroth had technically returned to his own hometown as well that day.

"Sephiroth?" He heard Yuffie softly whisper as she gently put her hand into his, "It's all right. They won't know you. When we came through here the last time, people saw your clone and didn't recognize it. It's all right."

That really wasn't what was bothering Sephiroth, but he was able to take the first steps anyway with Yuffie's guidance. Red XIII patiently waited until the couple reached him, and they continued into the town. The people walking in the streets glanced at the visitors, but only for a moment. They knew Yuffie and Red from before, and since Sephiroth was wearing jeans, a flannel shirt, and a khaki cargo jacket and had his hair tied back with some string, he looked quite different from "the man in the black cape". So, they didn't give him a second glance either, except perhaps to note that the new guy was probably in SOLDIER once because of his eyes and that huge sword he carried on his back along with his sack of belongings.Yuffie and Red knew how cold and aloof the people in the village were. Red had told them the townspeople's attitudes hadn't changed much since then.

If simply going into the town was difficult, Sephiroth wondered how he would react when he saw the mansion on the outskirts near the mountain pass.

"At least the Mako smell isn't as bad anymore," Sephiroth thought aloud.

"What?" Yuffie asked.

"The Mako smell; when I came here the Mako reactor had malfunctioned and Mako was draining. You've never smelled Mako in large quantities?"

"No."

"No, I haven't," Red XIII replied. That sort of smell only came from Mako draining from a reactor, not in its natural state.

"Well," Sephiroth spoke, "it's like a combination of brine and rust. Not a very pleasant smell. Anyway, the air is fresh now."

"Probably because the Mako reactor has since then been disabled for good. Coal mining has been reestablished throughout the world. The major suppliers are here and Corel. And they're looking for workers."

"You think they'd give a job to me?" Yuffie queried.

"What?" Sephiroth furrowed his brow at her.

"Well, I thought that you said you were going to bounty-hunt and I would stay here and mind the fort."

"Yes, exactly."

"…So I can't mind the fort and get a job?"

"I don't want you to get black lung; that's supposed to be a pretty nasty condition."

"They don't send women into the coal mines…" Red XIII remarked, "Women generally get stuck with preparing the coal for shipping. But that shouldn't be the only work available. I suggest that you look at other jobs before going for the coal mining." He turned his head towards the northeastern road in the town, "of course, the mansion is _that_ way."

Sephiroth managed to keep his cool appearance while saying the first thing he could think of to stall for time; he asked Yuffie, "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, we haven't eaten since morning…" Yuffie's eyes drifted towards a farmer's market store.

"I think we should get you two settled in before we think about food," Red spoke, raising a suspicious eyebrow at Sephiroth.

Sephiroth grimaced at the wolf-creature. Leave it to Red XIII to see right through him. Red knew that Sephiroth did not want to go to the mansion. Yuffie seemed a little disappointed at not getting anything to eat right away but she wasn't going to flat-out refuse Red's advice. And Sephiroth could not further object without showing his fear, so he grudgingly consented to go to the mansion first.

Once they were in front of the house and walking through the gate, Yuffie murmured, "I keep forgetting how big it really is…" She looked at her husband and could see that he was nervous, no matter what kind of neutral expression he tried to keep on his face. She said, "So…Vincent scared all of the monsters away?"

"Yep, pretty much," Red answered.

"I'd like to know how."

"No, you don't."

"Is there any electricity?"

"There should be. Since Nibelheim has gone back to electrical power, Vincent made sure that the mansion has power as well."

"Good. How about hot water?"

"I don't know; you'll have to see for yourself."

"Well," Yuffie squeezed Sephiroth's hand, "Here we go." She pushed the gate in front of the mansion open. It creaked very loudly. "Eesh," she said, "we've got to oil that thing. It's not very welcoming."

"In_that_ case," Sephiroth spoke, "let's keep it that way. I'm not big on having visitors right now."

Yuffie shrugged, "Suit yourself."

The door to the mansion was unlocked. There was really no need to lock it; there were enough stories of ghosts and dark deeds surrounding the Shinra mansion (even before the scientists ever went there) to keep people away from it. Even adolescent boys maintained their distance. The house was frighteningly quiet when they walked in, with their footsteps echoing throughout the massive foyer.

Red spoke, "There's a light switch by the door."

Sephiroth flipped the switch and lights along the wall lit up and gave the house a much more welcoming look. At least, it was as welcoming as it could get with all of the cobwebs, dust, and debris still littering the floor.

"Well," Yuffie said, rubbing her nose, "I can see what my first mission in life will be once we're settled in. You could write your name on this floor." She knelt down and demonstrated her statement, "I need to clean this place up before I even start _thinking_ about getting a job in town."

"I'll help," Sephiroth stated, examining a rather large spider web with its just as large occupant still in place, "I don't mind spiders."

"Spider…?" Yuffie got up, turned around, and saw the arachnid Sephiroth was talking about. She jumped back, "Eek!"

Sephiroth rolled his eyes, "You mean to tell me you picked up that rat back at Kalm and put it outside and you're afraid of this little thing?" He pointed at the spider.

"But, Sephiroth," Yuffie grabbed his hand and pulled it away from the web, "that's a _spider_! We don't know what kind of a spider it is and all spiders bite!"

"That_is_ true," Red XIII said, "They're also very territorial."

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes at the wolf, "You're not helping, Red."

Red understood and spoke, "But they are also very easily squished."

Yuffie looked around, "But do you know what the worst possible thing is? Roaches!"

Sephiroth and Red glanced at each other incredulously. Sephiroth said, "Roaches?"

"Yes, roaches! I know; they don't bite or sting. But they _jump_! And they _fly_! They can crawl into corners and under furniture and bed sheets! You can hear them when they scurry across a hard wood floor… You two are looking at me like you think I'm nuts."

"I think you _are_ nuts," Sephiroth commented.

Yuffie didn't seem bothered by his statement, "Well, if I am nuts, it's the thought of roaches that did it. If you ever hear me screaming bloody murder, you can put your money on the roaches. Come on," she started towards the right staircase going up to the second floor, "let's find a bedroom. Are you going to stay for the night, Red?"

"I'm sure I can endure the cockroaches," Red smirked, "I could even stay for a few days. I know many of the townspeople; I could introduce you around."

Being introduced to anyone by a red wolf-creature was still an odd idea to Sephiroth at this point but Yuffie had no trouble with it and she said, "Thanks, Red!"

Yuffie bounded up one of the staircases, leaving Red and Sephiroth in the foyer. Sephiroth took a look around and saw something hanging on the wall. Upon closer inspection, it was a small, dusty embroidery frame yellowed with age. Sephiroth disbelievingly read the words on the cloth, "Home, sweet home." He looked around and said, "More like home, sweet creepy house of death and gloom…"

"Are you two coming?" Yuffie shouted from the balcony. She retreated towards the left hallway. She was purposely avoiding the right. She shouted from one of the bedrooms, "I like this one! It's so cute…!"

Red spoke to the silver-haired warrior, "At least one of you is happy to have your own home."

"I'm sure I'll get used to it," Sephiroth said, "It's just the last time I was here…"

"Things have changed. We've all changed."

Yuffie was still calling out, "It's the blue room; everything's a pretty shade of blue!" She poked her head out, smirking, "Didn't think you'd want the pink room."

"No, blue's fine!" Sephiroth shouted. Yuffie retreated back into their chosen bedroom.

Red commented a little more quietly, "Let her be happy for as long as she can be. The loneliness from being separated from the others is going to sink in eventually. That's why I want her to get acquainted with the people here. When I leave here I will find Cloud and talk to him to see if I can get some sense into him. I'm sure Tifa's going to give him the couch to sleep on for this."

Yuffie exclaimed, peeking back out, "Besides, I think the pink room is where that insane safe is. We found a monster in there once."

Sephiroth replied, "Well, it wouldn't do to have a monster in our bedroom, would it?"

"Nope! Why don't you come up here and check it out?"

"All right…"

But before Sephiroth could even take a step towards the stairwell, someone knocked on the front door. They were using the knocker, so it made a very deep, ominous sound that echoed throughout the foyer. With that sort of foreboding Sephiroth half-expected it to be the authorities at the door who had spotted him and followed them there. But he was not afraid. He took hold of the Masamune and opened the door before Red XIII could protest. However, there were no soldiers with guns at all.

Instead, there was cheerful little elderly couple.

"Hello!" the husband chirped, "We couldn't help but notice you with Nanaki!"

"Hello, Nanaki!" The lady waved at Red.

Red couldn't disguise his smirk, "Hello, Ms. Mildree."

The man asked, "Are you friends with that strange young man who lives here or just with Nanaki?"

"Er…" As prepared as Sephiroth had been to deal with unpleasant visitors, the presence of two sweet senior citizens had thrown him off somewhat.

Fortunately, Yuffie quickly came down the stairs and ran to the front door. She breathlessly said, "Hi! I'm Yuffie and this is my husband Tamrelan! So nice to meet you!" She held a hand out and the old man took it.

He said, "So nice to meet _you_, young lady! I'm Taran Gaither and this is my wife Mildree. We moved here about a year ago when I retired after the Shinra Company went kaput. Rocket City was getting just too noisy! We haven't seen you before, though. Thought it would be nice to meet the newcomers."

"Thank you," Yuffie smiled. She knew she would have to be friendly for both her and Sephiroth. He still looked dumbfounded. She gently put a hand on his sword arm and spoke, "Sweetie, you're not going to need that…"

"Were you in SOLDIER, young man?" Gaither asked.

"Yes," Sephiroth answered.

"Be nice to have one of you around. We haven't had a beast hunter here for months. I hope you're fairly good at killing beasts. Are you?"

"Fairly."

"Um…" Yuffie looked around at the foyer, "I would invite you in, but it's so dirty…"

"We'd love to come in!" Mildree exclaimed, maneuvering her way past her husband and Yuffie and into the house, "I've always wanted to know what this place looks like on the inside…Oh, my!" She put her hands to her face in surprise, "It's worse than I thought! I hope you're not planning on doing all the cleaning yourself, young lady."

"Well…uh…Tamrelan's going to be really busy if the monster problem is as bad out here as everyone makes out…"

Mildree snickered, "I wasn't implying that _he_ should help. As appealing as the idea may be, never leave the cleaning to the men-folk. They miss the little things. No, I meant that _I_ would like to help you."

"But I couldn't…"

Mildree put her hands on her hips, "Do you know how hard it is to find decent company out here? The women in the village are all so snobby! And you seem like such a friendly young lady."

Yuffie and Sephiroth looked at each other, both thinking the same thing. Most of the people in Nibelheim were plants by Shinra, having to adapt to life without the big company. Even though Red XIII was acquainted with them, he had already told the couple to not expect the warmest reception amongst the villagers even though they wouldn't necessarily be _unfriendly_.

Gaither walked into the house and said, "So, you just come from Cosmo Canyon…Tamrelan, was it?"

"Yes," Sephiroth, beginning to be a little suspicious of this man's curiosity. First he asked whether or not Sephiroth was in SOLDIER and then he asked about if he were any good killing monsters; now he was asking where they came from.

"That's such a nice little town. I've been thinking about making a trip up there sometime soon." He looked at the Masamune, "You wanna put up that sword so we can talk like two civilized people, young man?"

"Tamrelan," Yuffie said, "Put the sword away. You're acting like you don't trust them!"

"_I don't_," Sephiroth thought but he compliantly leaned the sword against the wall.

"So, as I was asking earlier," Gaither spoke, "Are you friends of the strange young man who lives here?"

"Are you talking about Vincent?" Yuffie asked.

"Vincent!" Gaither laughed, "_That's_ his name! I couldn't remember it for the life of me! Yes, Vincent. So you know him?"

"Yes, of course. We wouldn't invade his house without his knowing about it!"

"Oh, I wouldn't either, except you two are already here. I remember asking him over for tea once and he crossed his arms and studied me for moment as if he were wondering if I were really serious. I was_perfectly_serious but he declined."

"He's not very sociable…"

"Not only that…" Mildree ran a finger along a table against the wall and looked at the massive amount of dust accumulated on it, "but a rather poor housekeeper. But what can you expect from a reclusive bachelor? But now that there's a woman in the house things should be better."

"Vincent is coming in a couple of days. Maybe we could all take you up on that teatime offer."

Sephiroth threw his wife a narrow-eyed look, but Yuffie just shrugged at him. If he really didn't want to go he could think up an excuse. Yuffie wanted to get to know this couple; they seemed really nice.

Mildree looked around, "Now, let's see…The first place to clean up should be the kitchen, the bathrooms, and the bedrooms."

"You're welcome to stay at our house tonight, all three of you," Gaither remarked, "I doubt you can make this place livable by sundown."

Sephiroth opened his mouth to refuse the offer, but Yuffie piped up, "If that wouldn't be too much trouble…"

"No, it wouldn't!" Mildree walked over to Yuffie and took her arm, "We haven't had visitors in quite a while. Our children and grandchildren live in Corel."

Yuffie cast a pleading look at Sephiroth, and he nodded and said, "All right. But we'll get as much done here as possible today."

"Yes, Sir; Mr. SOLDIER, Sir!" Gaither chuckled while doing a salute.

_That evening…_

It was a good thing Sephiroth, Yuffie, and Red took the Gaithers up on their offer. Cleaning the house was a greater task than any of them had imagined. Sephiroth carried bags full of trash and debris out of the house. He also went around the house making sure there were no more unpleasant creatures hiding anywhere. Red XIII carried heavy pails of dirty water down the stairs to be thrown away outside. They didn't want to test the old house's plumbing by dumping trash-ridden water into the pipes. Yuffie and Mildree busied themselves with basic cleaning; sweeping and scrubbing the floors, washing the windows, cleaning away the cobwebs. Mr. Gaither's main task was to squash any unwelcome insects the two women happened to encounter and throw the remains out the window. He also went back to his house and brought back a couple of mousetraps to put in the blue bedroom and the kitchen. If they had known where Vincent's bedroom was, Gaither would have put a trap in there as well.

When the sun was close to setting, Gaither said they should go for the night if they were going to walk back into town. Even though he did not doubt Red and "Tamrelan's" abilities to ward off beasts, there was no sense risking the women's lives as well. Yuffie decided not to mention her shuriken-throwing skill. She and Sephiroth gathered their things and walked back into town with Red and their new-found friends.

Once they got there and settled the guests into their rooms, Mildree said to Yuffie, "Why don't you come with me to the kitchen and I'll teach you the finer points of cooking fried chicken?"

"Do…Do you mind if I clean up first?" Yuffie asked.

"Oh, of course not! How silly of me! You'll want to shower after your journey… Oh, but your husband's using the guest shower. And the showerhead in my and Taran's bathroom doesn't work. Do you mind taking a bath?"

"Not at all…do you have hot water?"

"Yes. You can get your clothes and I'll bring you fresh towels."

Yuffie didn't stay in the bathtub for very long. She was getting very hungry and the sooner she got out to help Mildree with the cooking, the better. But she wasn't prepared for the onslaught of questions that would greet her once she went into the kitchen.

"So," Mildree queried, "how long have you and Tamrelan been married?"

"Just two days," Yuffie didn't feel unsafe answering.

Mildree's eyebrows rose, "Two days? Did you get married in Cosmo Canyon?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"How did you meet?"

"It's a long story," Yuffie nervously chuckled, "Um…I saw him in the backyard of our friends house and thought he was a burglar. I beat him on the head with a feather duster."

Mildree laughed, "He doesn't look like a feather duster would do much hurt to him!"

"No, though he _did_ sneeze a couple of times. Turned out he _wasn't_a burglar. I guess you could say we hit it off after everything calmed down."

"How did he propose to you?"

"He said, 'So, how does one go about making an honest woman out of you?' which is really funny considering we hadn't really _done_ anything to make me dishonest."

"That was naughty of him."

"Well, I gave him a good whack on the shoulder."

"He looks like he plays things close to the vest otherwise."

"He does."

"Enough of this chattering," Mildree walked to the cabinet and pulled out the flour, "we've got some chicken to cook!"

_In Sephiroth and Yuffie's room…_

Red XIII had opted to take a nap while dinner was being prepared. While in the shower, Sephiroth mentally readied himself for many questions from Mr. Gaither. He seemed like a curious sort and he was apparently rather intrigued by the fact that Sephiroth had been in SOLDIER. Gaither was hiding something but Sephiroth had no idea what. Sephiroth was very hungry but no one was going to eat until he had gotten the truth out of Gaither. He would let Gaither ask him the questions before asking Gaither himself what he wanted. Sephiroth came out of the bathroom, dressed and drying his hair with a towel. Gaither was standing in the bedroom doorway.

"May I speak with you, young man?" Gaither asked.

Sephiroth didn't exactly think Gaither would be standing in his room when he came out of the shower, but he answered, "Sure."

Gaither entered the room and shut the door behind him. He no longer had the cheerful look both he and his wife had worn earlier that day. Much to the warrior's great shock, Gaither said, "There's no reason for me to keep up a pretense. I know your father…Sephiroth." When Sephiroth started, Gaither raised his hands, "Don't be alarmed! Your father and I were on very good terms. In fact, I owe him a lot."

Sephiroth took a deep breath and said, "I didn't know he had any friends."

"Not many, but a few. I already knew from one of my contacts that he is alive. He called me two days ago, telling me you were headed this way. He didn't say much else but I knew what he wanted."

"To keep an eye on me?"

Sephiroth was surprised enough that one of Hojo's contacts would be in the same town he and Yuffie had chosen to reside in.

Gaither answered, "More or less. I had heard that you were alive, but…It's amazing to see for myself. We had a good, long talk, Hojo and I. He explained everything to me. It was good to hear him speaking normally again. It was good to hear him speaking _period_."

"It sounds like you think very highly of him."

"My business in Rocket Town dealt with imports and exports of medicine. Hojo always made sure that no one in Shinra interfered or tried to take what was not lawfully theirs. None of the other businesses were that lucky. It's rather funny when you think about how we met. My wife and I used to live in Midgar, but we still dealt in pharmaceutical goods. The President began to think I was skimping off some medical supplies going to Shinra's army; painkillers, epinephrine, and things like that."

Sephiroth blinked; epinephrine had been the allergy medicine he used. He remembered that there were actually a good many SOLDIERS who had developed allergies in Wutai.

Gaither went on, "It turned out to be one of my workers, but the President didn't care. It was my company and I was going to go down with it. He was going to have me gotten rid of. Hojo found an opportunity. I'm not going to say he did it out of the goodness of his heart so much as he was just trying to get a contact in the medicine business, but he saved my life and had me and my family relocated to Rocket Town, where I could continue my business under his support. It wasn't long after that failed missile program poor Captain Highwind went through. I could tell there were a lot of things wrong with Hojo and he didn't help me for my sake at first, but…once we had done each other a couple of favors we had a decent rapport."

"Favors…what kind of favors?"

"The biggest favor he did for me was what I've already said: keeping the government out of my hair. I made more money in Rocket Town than in Midgar. I had no restrictions. And for him I just made sure there was no more skimping on the supplies to the army. Plus, I kept him informed on any doings in Rocket Town that could have influenced Shinra in any way. I think that's what he really wanted, a spy."

Sephiroth exasperatedly spoke, "How do all of you people _deal_ with the fact that I'm…not dead?"

Gaither chuckled, "You were dead for five years and then came back. This time it was only one year. Why should we all be so shocked that the great Sephiroth managed to escape death again? Sephiroth coming back, Meteors in the sky, the destruction of Wutai, materia drying up… The world has managed to deal with quite a few unpleasant surprises. I'm just glad your father hadn't forgotten his somewhat-friendship with a simple, old man."

"How many of you are there?"

"What do you mean?"

"How many of you are league with Hojo?"

Gaither didn't seem to mind the question. He mentally counted the number and answered, "Eight around the world. I don't feel at liberty to divulge any names. Does…Does your wife know who you are?"

"Yes."

Gaither let out a deep sigh, "…And you're asking me how _we_ deal with it. She's Wutainese. How did you get around everything?"

"She's forgiven me…which is more than I deserve. And while we're on the subject, does your wife know…?"

"Yes. I hide nothing from her. One of our associates explained everything to all of us even before you and your father showed your faces again. But I must urge you not to reveal your identity to anyone else. It was a very good idea to use a pseudonym."

"Supper's ready!" Mildree called from the kitchen, "Come and get it!"

Gaither called, "We're coming!" he turned back to Sephiroth, "This is a broken world, my boy. Before Meteor and the fall of Shinra, we stayed loyal to your father because of necessity and gratefulness. Now, we do it because there is nothing else to cling to besides what family we have. My associates and I aren't fickle beings; we remember the things he did for us, whether the things were selfish or not. We know he did horrible things to other human beings. I've seen a good deal of the monsters made from the Mako reactor in the Nibel mountains. But to us loyalty is a part of integrity and honor…"

"Come on, guys!" Yuffie shouted from the dining room.

Gaither didn't waver, "…And we try to preserve what we have left of_that_ too. Come along; the womenfolk are waiting."

Mildree and Yuffie took up most of the conversation at the dinner table. Red was perfectly happy chewing the bones of the fried chicken after he devoured every bit of the meat. Sephiroth and Gaither were actually very silent, having both talked their fill.

"Aren't they the sweetest couple?" Yuffie said to Sephiroth when they were getting ready to go to sleep, "I was so afraid we wouldn't find any friends here." She climbed onto the bed, "I remembered how cold everything in Nibelheim was from before. But I think it's going to be all right now!"

The only nightclothes she had with her were a pair of flannel pajamas for when it was cold and a thin nightgown for hot weather. Right now she had on the thin nightgown, and it was _very_thin. A burning desire to touch her rose in his stomach. But something nagged his thoughts; he knew he had to tell her about the Gaithers before he changed his mind.

Looking away from her slender form, he said, "Yuffie…they know who I am."

The smile fell from Yuffie's face and she softly spoke, "What? How?"

Sephiroth explained Hojo's contacts and how they kept in touch with each other and how Hojo had just now reestablished communication with them. Yuffie said, "And they don't seem to _mind_ in the least that you…that's weird!"

Yuffie's dumbfounded exclamation managed to amuse Sephiroth a little and he spoke, "They mean us no harm, Yuffie. In fact, they're probably the best allies we have right now."

Yuffie hung her head, pouting a little. Sephiroth asked, "What's wrong?"

"Allies…You make it sound like there's going to be a war; you versus the world again."

"Yuffie, I promise you there will be nothing like that."

"Don't make promises you don't know if you can keep. I haven't said anything, but…what Rude said back in Cosmo Canyon bothers me so much. What if someone catches wind that you're _here_? In fact, what if those men come around here? The ones who tried to…in Kalm…"

"If they do, I'll kill them. They're making enough trouble for me and Hojo as it is."

As horrified as Yuffie should have been at her husband's declaration, she sneered and said, "If you want to kill them, you'll have to get behind me and my Conformer. If they think they can come and ruin our lives, they have another thing coming and it ain't pretty!" She held up her fist and shook it.

Sephiroth allowed a smirk, but then he said, "Sooner or later I'm going to have to go down to the library in the mansion's basement and look at the books there."

"But they were filled with lies, Sephiroth. You poured through those books looking for an answer and all you got were lies."

Sephiroth sat down on the bed beside Yuffie, "I'm beginning to wonder… Neither Cloud nor Zack ever looked at those books. I wonder if they said the same thing I saw."

Yuffie blinked, "What do you mean?"

"I wasn't totally within my mind at the time. Perhaps Jenova put things in front of my eyes that weren't really there; things she_wanted_ me to see. I want you to look at the books as well."

"All right…no harm in that, I guess." Yuffie scooted back onto a pillow on the bed. She giggled and said, "I just realized something."

"What?"

She lowered her voice to a whisper, "We're all alone for the first time since our wedding night." She used her forefinger to gesture him to approach, "Come hither, Mr. Sephiroth."

Having been reminded of that simple yet very frustrating fact, Sephiroth had no hesitations. He was hoping she would bring that up. He had told her what she needed to know. Now wasn't a time to worry about the future; that was an activity best reserved for the day. He leaned down and wrapped his arms around Yuffie's slender shoulders and kissed her fully on the lips.

But then he thought of something else. He let go of Yuffie and rose off the bed. She stared at him slack-jawed as he got down on the floor.

"Sephiroth," she said, "What _are_ you doing?"

He came up off of the floor and said, "I was looking under the bed; it doesn't hurt to check."

Yuffie let out a laugh before Sephiroth kissed her again.


	32. Is there a SOLDIER in the house?

(Kit Thespian crawls in.)

Kit Thespian: I made it! I've done it! I've managed to escape the monstrosity known as "Real Life" long enough to return. I missed you guys!

Disclaimer: I do not own "Final Fantasy VII" or the characters therein. And I'm not making any money off of this.

Chapter Thirty-Two- Is there a SOLDIER in the house?

Even though everyone in their circle knew Sephiroth's true identity, they all agreed it would be a good idea to continue calling him by his pseudonym "Tamrelan" in public. Although the very idea of him being the real Sephiroth would be ridiculous to the average passerby, it would do no good to take any chances, especially if the new government in Junon had spies. Gaither promised to take Sephiroth to see the mayor to introduce him as the new monster slayer as soon as Sephiroth and Yuffie were settled.

The next morning the group got an early start in cleaning up the mansion. Yuffie knew they would probably actually be able to spend the night in the mansion now. Sephiroth didn't object to the idea at all; as much as he was growing to like the Gaithers, he wanted to be out of the town as much as possible. There had been a group of men walking along the path towards the Nibel mountains. Gaither said they were coal miners. The thought of going into the Nibel Mountains--and anywhere _near_ that Mako reactor--gave Sephiroth chills; almost as much as the thought of going downstairs to the library. Almost.

Sephiroth was in the middle of searching through the kitchen cabinets for pests when he heard Ms. Mildree shriek, "Ah! Snake! There's a snake underneath the piano!"

From the fuss Mildree was making, Sephiroth expected a diamondback rattler. What he found when he, Yuffie, Red XIII, and Gaither ran into the music room was a colorful little king snake curled around one of the piano legs. Mildree was on top of one of the chairs.

Yuffie breathed a big sigh of relief, "Mildree, don't be silly! It's not poisonous. Red on black, see? 'Red on black, venom lack.'"

"I don't care!" Mildree sniveled, "I hate snakes!" She turned to her husband, "You know I hate snakes."

Yuffie slowly walked to the piano, knelt down, and gingerly picked up the snake, holding it by the tip of its head, "See? Perfectly harmless."

While she went out the door and into the foyer to put the snake outside, Mildree got off of the chair assisted by her husband. Gaither commented, "Yuffie doesn't scare very easily, does she?"

"With bigger pests like rats and snakes, no," Sephiroth answered, "But for some crazy reason she has a phobia of spiders and roaches…"

"Ew!" Mildree shuddered, "And no wonder! Roaches are just awful. Spiders are graceful creatures, but there's absolutely nothing nice about roaches."

Sephiroth grumbled, "What is it with women and roaches?"

"I've been trying to figure it out for years," Gaither answered.

Red wanted to venture a comment that roaches were actually high in protein, but he wisely declined.

Mildree crossed her arms and faced her husband, "This is coming from a man who jumped out of his pants the last time a cricket got into the house."

"That's because the cricket was _in_ my pants! As I recall, you weren't so calm either."

"But I'm only a frail woman," Mildree smugly grinned, "I therefore have an excuse."

Sephiroth couldn't resist a slight smirk as he thought that this was probably going to be him and Yuffie in the near future—a couple engaging in friendly banter—although he had no intention of getting frightening by a cricket, even in his pants. He did, however, make a mental note to start shaking his clothes out from now on. He _was_, after all, living in the country now.

"An excuse for what?" Yuffie asked, reentering the room having gotten rid of the snake.

Mildree answered, "Calling upon the men-folk for help when there are crawling and jumping insects in the house."

"Oh, tell me about it!"

Sensing that Yuffie and Mildree were about to enter a long conversation about the horrors of unwanted insects, Sephiroth meandered out of the room and into the foyer. He was about to go into the kitchen when he thought about how his own mother Lucrecia would probably react to insects. He missed her already. And, as much as he hated to admit it, he was starting to miss Hojo's sarcastic humor just a little bit.

He thought, "_I was probably born in this house, wasn't I? I wonder which room it was. That would be ironic if it were my and Yuffie's room. Mother hasn't really talked about it in detail. I can't say I blame her; no doubt it was the most painful moment of her life when she realized I couldn't be with her and…and Hojo._"

He wanted to have a look around upstairs. He hadn't really had a moment to look around up there. He would have to go there eventually if he wished to look in the underground library. But he shouldn't go to the library alone. He still didn't trust himself. Though he and Cloud had fallen out of each others' good graces, Sephiroth knew Cloud was still right about having to be careful about losing control. As luck would have it, Red XIII just happened to walk into the foyer as he was thinking it.

"Red," he spoke.

The wolf-creature looked up at him, "Yes?"

"Could you come with me, please? I want to check out the library."

Red looked wary. He knew the significance of the place as well as anyone, "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'll need to do it sooner or later. Frankly, I would have preferred it if Cloud were here but…you know."

"Of course."

They both had already disappeared into the green bedroom where the secret passageway was when Yuffie and the Gaithers heard a knock on the door. They emerged into the foyer.

"Who could _that_ be?" Mildree murmured.

"I hope it's Vincent," Yuffie walked to the door and slowly opened it. A moment later she swung it wide open and glomped the man standing on the platform. She sobbed with joy, forgetting her statement a moment before, "Reeve! Omigosh, Reeve! I'm so happy to see you!"

The tall, thin man was shocked into silence by the ninja's presence. He had come to Nibelheim by chocobo, hoping that Vincent would be home. The last time Reeve had seen Yuffie and everyone had been before Hojo had gotten Dr. Rosem's letter back in Kalm. He had been helping Goganga Village with their rehabilitation, but when the Turks came into town, he had discreetly fled towards Nibelheim after a brief stop in Cosmo Canyon (he knew Reno liked the bar there so he didn't stay long just in case the Turks went there). It wasn't that he was _afraid_ of the Turks, but he really just didn't want to deal with them alone.

Reeve's first thought was that AVALANCHE must have traveled all the way to Nibelheim to look for clues concerning the resurrections. But if AVALANCHE was there, then where was the _Highwind_? His eyes scanned the foyer for the rest of his friends, but there was only a little elderly couple he recognized from a previous trip to Nibelheim, though he couldn't remember their names.

It occurred to Yuffie that Reeve had no idea what was going on. She took him by the hands and led him inside and shut the front door behind them. She said, "There's so much I have to tell you. But first, let me introduce you to Taran and Mildree…"

Mildree smiled, "We've met Mr. Reeve! He came here last year to work out the kinks in the coal mining machines."

Reeve managed a little wave, "Nice to see you again…" he said to Yuffie, "Where is everybody?"

"Well…it's just me, Red XIII, and Sephiroth actually."

Reeve stifled a cry of dismay and gestured towards the Gaithers, "Do they know…?"

"We know about Sephiroth," Gaither said.

Reeve blinked, "And you don't mind…?"

"We know his father."

"Father…? You know _Hojo_? Where is he? What's going on?"

Yuffie crossed her arms and bowed her head, "Sephiroth and I have separated from the others."

"But why? What happened? Er…he didn't go crazy and kill someone, did he?"

"Heck no!" Yuffie grimaced, "We…we got married."

Reeve stood silent for a moment before saying, "Oh…and that's bad?"

"To Cloud and Cid, apparently it is. They essentially banished us from the group."

"What did Tifa and Barret have to say about it? And Hojo and Lucrecia?"

"Tifa, Barret, and Shera are still in Kalm. This all happened in Cosmo Canyon. They probably don't even know about it yet. Red tried to be neutral, although he is helping us out here in Nibelheim. He and Sephiroth are around the house somewhere. As for Hojo and Lucrecia, they didn't mind in the least. Lucrecia was happy about it."

"Well, I don't see why _she _wouldn't be. Congratulations, by the way."

"Thank you, Reeve," Yuffie hugged him again, relieved to see he was so accepting of the situation. Reeve had always been such a great guy. But she could tell he was disturbed by their being separated from the group.

Reeve asked, "Where's Vincent?"

"He should be coming here any day now."

"And…how does _he_ feel about it?"

"He took our side against Cloud and the others, so I guess he doesn't mind either."

"So you're staying here now?"

"You can't expect us to stay in Kalm, can you? Cloud was very spiteful about it…"

"That doesn't seem like Cloud."

Yuffie decided to change the subject, "Hey, while you're here, you can make waffles! There's still some equipment in the kitchen that works, even a waffle-maker."

Waffles sounded really good to Reeve right now. In fact, any kind of food sounded good. He hadn't eaten since the day before, trying to make as much time as he could to get away from the Turks.

"Do you have anything to eat around here, by the way?" Reeve asked.

"I was going to go grocery shopping with Sephiroth when he was done looking through the cabinets. We still have a good bit of our own money from bounty-hunting on the other continent… Where _is_ Sephiroth anyway?"

_In the basement_…

Sephiroth had promised himself he wouldn't look at any books until he had Yuffie with him, but he had no plans to at this time. The trip itself to the library was still overwhelming. He remembered how he found the library in the first place seven years ago. The voice of Jenova had guided him there, and he had stupidly followed. There was no way Hojo would have wanted him to know about the secret library and laboratory.

Red XIII didn't mind the journey to the underground so much, even though the whole place gave him the creeps and reminded him just a little of going into the GI cave in Cosmo Canyon. He felt like he could sense a spirit of evil surrounding the basement. No doubt horrible scientific sins were committed here even before Gast and Hojo came along. The Shinra company had no qualms.

But before the could get to the library door, both Sephiroth and Red thought they heard something to the side of them in the room where Vincent's coffin had been.

_In the foyer…_

Since it was technically his own house, Vincent felt no reservations in opening the front door to the mansion without knocking. He found Yuffie standing in the foyer with the Gaithers from the village and Reeve. He was surprised to see Reeve, though he wasn't surprised to see the Gaithers. Before he left Cosmo Canyon, Hojo told him he would be calling his colleague Taran Gaither. Vincent knew the Gaithers from when they asked him over for tea a few months before. He hadn't taken them seriously; perhaps he should have.

"Hello, everyone," he unceremoniously greeted them.

Yuffie practically jumped up and down with excitement, "Vincent, you're here! Look, Reeve's here too!"

"I noticed." He nodded to the elderly couple, "Mr. and Mrs. Gaither."

"Good to see you, young man!" Mildree grinned, "Yuffie has said that all of you would be happy to take us up on that teatime offer one of these days."

Vincent cast a raised eyebrow in Yuffie's direction. Yuffie duly ignored it. Knowing that the Gaithers were well acquainted with Hojo and probably knew the whole situation, Vincent asked, "Where are Sephiroth and Red?"

Yuffie replied, "You know, we were wondering the same thing…"

All of their questions were answered when they heard frantic scrambling of feet and paws coming from the general direction of the green bedroom upstairs. A moment later, Sephiroth and Red both flew from the bedroom and down the stairs as quickly as lightning. Yuffie wasn't sure if she had ever seen either one of them move that fast in their lives. It seemed strange that of all people Sephiroth and Red XIII should run from _anything_. Sephiroth shot across the room and grabbed the Masamune, which had been leaning against the wall by the front door.

"Everyone get back! Go into the kitchen!" he bellowed. He hadn't even noticed Reeve and Vincent.

Reeve and the Gaithers instantly obeyed, but Vincent coolly pulled out the Death Penalty and Yuffie ran for her Conformer, which was sitting on a brandy table nearby. Red XIII's hair bristled as he prepared for battle.

Vincent thought it was one of the ordinary creatures he had driven out, coming back for a "visit." He asked without twitching a muscle, "What is it?"

"_You_ tell _me_!" Sephiroth hissed.

"I've never seen anything like it," Red breathed.

A moment later everyone heard it lumbering out of the passageway. The creature emerged onto the balcony. Yuffie gasped when she saw it. Even Vincent's lips parted in amazement. It wasn't even like a creature at all; it looked like a collection of decaying human body parts. Arms, legs, torsos, and heads were stuck together to form a horrible monster. But it didn't even seem like a body; there was no head or appendages. It slithered across the ground. Since it didn't even have a body form like a monster, neither Sephiroth nor Red had wanted to battle it unprepared in the narrow corridor of the basement. They had no notion of how to destroy it.

Vincent and Yuffie didn't hesitate a moment. The ninja released the Conformer and it flew directly at the creature. The circular blade sliced through the top of the creature and the result was disgusting. Several limbs fell to the floor and stairs. Vincent fired off several shots from the Death Penalty and knocked lumps of flesh off of the creature. There was a strange slime but no blood; that instantly gave away the creature's type. Vincent, Yuffie, and Red had seen undead monsters before, and Reeve had witnessed them through the use of Cait Sith. They had no idea why they appeared or where they came from, but they knew how to defeat them, although they had never seen a beast to resemble this one. The undead were more easily dispatched with Fire materia, but since none was available, they would have to slice the pieces away until nothing was left to attack with. And the one in their group best equipped to do this was Sephiroth. And he would have to do it swiftly; the undead tended to have their own magic without the help of materia to render others undead as well, and there probably weren't many bottles of Revivify around any more to cure them.

"Slice it, Sephiroth!" Yuffie cried, "Chop it to pieces, quick!"

Yuffie's frantic pleas were enough to spring the former General into action. Since his resurrection, Sephiroth hadn't had the chance to use his abilities to their finest. Though monsters along the roadside were a terror to the normal passerby, to Sephiroth they were bugs to crush. This was his first encounter with a formidable beast in a long time. To the amazement of everyone watching him (even those who had seen him in action before) he took only one preparatory step forward before leaping into the air and flying towards the creature as if gravity didn't count for a thing.

The creature reached out one of its long arms to swipe at him when he was closing in. But Sephiroth easily stepped off of one of the banisters and turned swiftly to swing his blade across the front end of the monster. The Masamune cut through the decaying flesh as easily as a hot knife through butter. The creature did its best to defend itself. Sephiroth was once caught by surprise by being practically flung into the wall and getting the wind knocked out of him for a brief moment. The creature began to move towards him. Yuffie stifled a scream and gathered her Conformer. She threw it at the monster and when the blade hit it did not inflict as much damage as her first throw, but it distracted the monster just long enough for Sephiroth to get his bearings.

This time Sephiroth showed absolutely no mercy. He grunted and thrust and sliced like a madman and he would not stop until there was no more movement from the creature. It happened so fast the Conformer had only returned to Yuffie's grip for a moment before Sephiroth stood in a mass of tangled lumps of putrid flesh. His first thought afterward was wondering how could such a huge creature get into the house unnoticed? Yuffie's first thought was immense relief that Sephiroth was all right. Vincent kind of took for granted that Sephiroth would be all right. He always was. _His_ first thought was, how on earth were they going to clean up that mess with impunity?

"Is it over?" Reeve called from the kitchen, "Is everything okay?"

"In a manner of speaking," Sephiroth replied, "There's a pretty big mess up here. No blood, at least, but there's some kind of slime…"

He was interrupted by Yuffie quickly reaching the top of the stairs and enveloping him in a tight hug, goo and all. Red leisurely followed Yuffie up the stairs, smelling the floor and the residue dripping from where the Masamune had flung it. He would be able to smell if the undead creature's remains would possibly spread an infection. But at the moment he could sense no such danger. Yuffie was quietly sobbing into Sephiroth's chest. Sephiroth's plight had scared her more than she herself apparently thought. Sephiroth had no thought of how to comfort her at the moment; his mind was filled with questions about the beast. Why had it come now and what was its purpose? He wasn't so sure it was simply a leftover Mako monster from the days before Meteor. Vincent had apparently lived in this place and he had never seen a monster like it.

Vincent was the last to reach the top of the stairs. He saw a troublesome dent in the wall next to Sephiroth and Yuffie's room where the monster had thrown Sephiroth. But there seemed to be no significant structural damage to the house. He then looked at his nephew and the latter looked back at him. Their shared puzzled looks both confirmed that neither one of them had any theories at this point.

"So, is it safe to come out yet?" Reeve asked again.

"I think so," Sephiroth answered.

"Goodness gracious," Mildree muttered as she walked back out into the foyer, "I don't remember the last time we've had so much excitement! Oh, and look at the mess!"

Taran said, "I hate to say this, but I think you'll have to stay in our house another night at least. That's going to take a while to clean up."

"What about dinner?" Reeve said.

Considering food was the furthest thing from the minds of _everyone_ in that room except for Reeve, he got a round of very incredulous looks from the others. He shrank back a little, "What? I think it's a very good question. It's getting late."

Yuffie bristled, "Reeve, only you would think of food at a time like this!"

The doorbell rang. Everyone started and looked at the front door. Of course, it occurred to them a moment later that an undead monster wouldn't take the trouble to ring the doorbell.

"Who could _that _be?" Taran said.

"Popular today, aren't we?" Mildree remarked.

Already in a military defense mode, Sephiroth walked away from Yuffie and marched down the stairs, holding onto the Masamune and obviously intent on answering the door.

"S…I mean, Tamrelan," Yuffie couldn't risk the visitors having good hearing, "Maybe one of us should get the door, you're a little…messy. Tamrelan!" She started after him down the stairs, "I said, maybe one of us should answer the door. _I'll_ answer the door."

"She raises a good point…Tamrelan?" Vincent looked questioningly at Yuffie.

"That's his 'name' from now on, get it?" Yuffie said in a forced whisper.

"Oh, yes…anyway, like Yuffie said, you're a little messy."

"Messy?" Mildree said, "That's a nice way to put it. He looks like Mako monster sneezed on him and used him for a hankie."

Yuffie winced, "Thanks for the analogy, Ms. Mildree. _I'll_ get the door." She brushed past Sephiroth on the stairs and made for the front door.

"I could get it, Yuffie," Reeve said.

"Nah, I'm already halfway there; don't bother."

"You have junk on you as well," Sephiroth objected, though he knew it was useless at this point.

"Not like _you_. I look like I could have been doing the dishes or something."

"Doing…the dishes," Sephiroth incredulously spoke, "_You_?"

Yuffie paused in her journey, turned and put her hands on her hips, "I do dishes, smarty pants!" The doorbell rang again, this time more persistently. Yuffie huffed and mumbled, "This isn't over…" She reached the door and said loudly, holding onto her Conformer with her free hand, "Who is it?"

"Cookies!" a little voice responded cheerfully.

Yuffie dubiously looked at all the others in the room. Mildree walked towards her, "Oh, that sounds like the children who come to our house every now and then to sell cookies and candy for their orphanage. I can never remember their names."

"Why the heck are they coming to the _Shinra Mansion_ to sell _cookies_?" Yuffie queried.

"I have no idea."

Yuffie rolled her eyes and opened the door. Sure enough, two little impish children were standing on the steps. One was a little dark-skinned boy who was toting the cart with their wares. The other was a blond-haired, blue-eyed girl holding onto what Yuffie presumed to be their money pouch.

The girl turned to the boy, "See? Told ya there was someone living here now."

"Okay, you win," the boy asked Yuffie, "My name is Robrin, and this is my friend Keela. We're selling goodies to help our home get a new roof. Would you like to buy some cookies, ma'am?"

"Er…" Yuffie didn't especially want any cookies at the moment and she was still wondering where the two children would have gotten the moxie to journey to the dilapidated Shinra Mansion to make a business exchange.

However, Reeve had heard the request and he bounded to the door, "I would!" He pushed the door further open to accommodate both himself and Yuffie in the doorway, "What kind of cookies do you have?"

Unfortunately, Reeve's action unwittingly resulted in Yuffie's Conformer being revealed to the children. They both stared wide-eyed at the large weapon. But instead of being afraid, they both become immensely curious.

"Wow, lady, is that a ninja weapon?" Keela asked.

"Are you a _ninja_?" Robrin asked.

"I heard they all died!"

"Are you gonna kill monsters with that?"

Yuffie wanted to change the subject, "So, cookies…answer the man, what kind of cookies do you have?"

Keela said, "Chocolate-mint, peanut butter patties, shortbread, fudge ripple, classic chocolate chip…Are you the new monster slayer?"

"No, I'm n…What would _you_ know about that?"

"Mrs. Alpert said we would get a new monster slayer soon. 'Course she says that all the time."

"Monsters ate my parents," Robrin flatly commented, "At least, that's what Mrs. Alpert said. We all came here after the village was rebuilt."

Yuffie wanted to know how much these kids knew, "What happened to the village before?"

Robrin looked pensive, "Well…"

Keela answered this, "They say the monsters from the mountain destroyed it."

"Of course…" Yuffie answered, "Well, I am definitely not your new monster slayer, so, cookies…"

"You said that already, ma'am."

"Right. Reeve?" Yuffie left him by the door and walked back inside with her Conformer to let Reeve complete his transaction. She found her husband waiting for her at the foot of the stairway with his arms crossed. But despite his stern stance, he had a smirk on his face.

"So, madam ninja, did you buy any cookies?" Sephiroth asked.

"If it weren't for Reeve, that whole conversation would never have come up. I hope he's happy. I hope he chokes on those cookies!"

"_I_ hope those kids aren't foretelling many other visits from the rest of the villagers."

"Oh, don't worry," Mildree said, "Those two are especially persistent. Mrs. Alpert will probably give them a talking-to if she ever finds out they came over here."

Reeve came back into the house, shut the door behind him with his foot, with an armful of cookie boxes. He called, with a peanut butter patty in his mouth, "Who wanth cookieth?"


	33. Tomorrow, Then

(crickets chirping)

Sephiroth: I've got her!

Cloud: She won't escape this time!

Barrett: Your new year's resolutions have come to get you, Kit Thespian.

Kit Thespian: EEEEEEKKKK!

(The three drag Kit Thespian, bound and gagged, onto the stage)

Sephiroth: Three years, you lazy bum! Three years our story has been left in the lurch! You'll be lucky if there's anyone left to read it.

Kit Thespian: Come on, guys, give me a break! I've got a novel to finish, a job to work, and many obligations to consider. When did any of _you_ have a forty-hour-a-week job?

Cloud: Well, you're here now. That's what counts. And from NOW on, you'll do better.

Kit Thespian (groans): I'll do my best.

Sephiroth: For once, I'm happy to do this. (turns to audience) Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making any money off of this.

Kit Thespian: Darn right, I'm not…

Barrett: Quit belly-aching!

Chapter Thirty-Three- Tomorrow, Then

While Sephiroth was outside digging a hole to pour all of the monster's goo in, Reeve, Vincent, and Yuffie were scrapping the beast's remains into buckets. Mildree and Gaither went back to their house to fix some dinner. Reeve, spoke, wincing, "I forget; has this thing ever appeared in this house before, Vincent?"

"There have been many kinds of beasts here," Vincent seemed unfazed by the gruesome task set before all of them, "I've never seen one like this, but I've seen stranger ones."

"Like the one that came out of the safe. Was that the pink room or the yellow room?" Yuffie asked.

"I believe it was the pink room; the one _across_ from your and Sephiroth's room. The yellow room is on the _end_ of your side of the hall. At least, that is what I was told. You were there; you don't remember?"

"I got a pretty nasty blow to the head during the fight…my bucket's full."

"I'll take it," Red XIII climbed up the stairs and clasped the bucket handle with his teeth.

As soon as the hole was big enough Sephiroth came back into the house to help. With the five working industriously until a little after sundown, the hallway, foyer, and the stairwell were all clean. All five of them, including Vincent and Sephiroth, leaned against the wall on the second floor and heaved a sigh of relief. None of them said a word as they one by one went to clean up in one of the many bathrooms in the mansion. Red XIII didn't really need to wash up, but he went for a dip in a lake in the forest.

Afterwards, the five met in the foyer of the mansion.

Sephiroth was the first to speak, "At least we will be able to stay in the mansion instead of the Gaithers. Now, if we can keep all that from happening again…that would be great."

Vincent remarked, "The trouble is we don't know what caused it in the first place."

Sephiroth crossed his arms and looked towards the green room, where the secret passageway was. He said, not really looking at anyone, "Perhaps I shouldn't be in this house…"

"Don't you start that," Yuffie snapped, "I'm sure it was just a freak incident. Crazy stuff was happening this house even before you were born."

"That's true," Vincent spoke, "When they first set up the Mako reactor the Mako disturbance here was so intense its aftereffects were bound to last a long time afterwards. It used to be a lot worse here, trust me."

Sephiroth was not sure he liked their reassurances.

"So, when do we eat?" Reeve asked.

"Reeve," Vincent groaned, "I think you have a slight obsession."

"I'm kind of hungry too," Yuffie said, heading for the kitchen, "Which reminds me, I need to test out our stove."

"The Gaithers are bringing supper," Red said.

"All the same, I think I'll test it. I just feel like it."

"Try not to burn the house down," Sephiroth said.

Yuffie sardonically laughed, "Ha, ha. I'll do my best. You forget I can be a pretty darn good cook. But you're welcome to do all the cooking in the future if you're going to be so high and mighty about it."

"Never said I wanted to cook."

"That's funny…" Yuffie said with an evil smirk, "your tone suggested you would like to do the dishes or you'll sleep in the pink room tonight."

"Is that a threat?"

"I think you'd look pretty in pink."

"I defy you to try to keep me out of my own bed, Yuffie."

"Oh, geez," Reeve buried his face in his hands, "tell me you guys are _not_ engaging in verbal foreplay right in front of us, _please_."

"Newlyweds…" Vincent rolled his eyes.

Red headed for the door, "I'll go to the forest and kill something. Nothing like some wild game."

"I'll come with you; I need the target practice," Vincent said.

"I need some fresh air," Reeve commented, "And I mean it. I really need some fresh air after that. Do they have scented candles in the village?"

The three left the foyer out the front door without another word, leaving Sephiroth and Yuffie all alone.

"Well!" Yuffie huffed, "If we ever need some privacy at least we know what to do to clean the room out. What a bunch of wimps." She turned to find her husband standing not two feet behind her, "…Or was that what you had in mind all along?"

"It might come in handy in the future. Do you really want to test out the stove or are you just bored?"

Yuffie wrapped her arms around Sephiroth's neck, "I am bored as a monk. Can't we get out of the house tomorrow? Can't we go into the mountains and…kill something? Something big with lots of teeth so I won't feel bad about it?"

"Don't know why you want to go hunting when you know I'll just jump in front of you and kill whatever we're fighting and that always makes you angry."

"I won't be angry; I _promise_. I don't know if I can stand another day being cooped up in the house with Reeve talking about how bored _he_ is. I've got an idea. Mr. Gaither said he would introduce you to the mayor as soon as we were settled. I think we're pretty settled."

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow and said, "Yeah, we just took out an undead monster and cleaned the mess. We still don't know how or why the monster came to be there in the first place. And that makes us _settled_?"

Yuffie pursed her lips, "Well, think about _this_. The longer we stay in this house without speaking to the mayor, the more time it gives the other villagers to talk about us. If you speak to the mayor, introduce yourself as Tamrelan, the new monster slayer, people will quit wondering what our deal is and be less likely to ask questions."

A new monster hunter in town seemed to be exactly the sort of thing that would raise questions. But Yuffie was right. It would be better to get it over with. Yuffie squeezed his hand one more time before heading to the kitchen. Since he had nothing else to do, Sephiroth followed her in there. He stood and watched while Yuffie got a match out, light it, and turn the switch on the stove. It lit up immediately.

Sephiroth clapped, "Let's hear it for Yuffie, who managed _not_ to burn any hairs off while testing the stove."

"I just managed to get the pilot lights on. Vincent said the gas gauge is fine." She turned the stove switches to "pilot" and turned around, "Be happy Mildree and I did the cleaning in here. You wouldn't _believe_ the junk we found. How Vincent could stand it is beyond my comprehension." She walked to her husband, "Then again, knowing Vincent he probably thought living with a lot of filth was a part of his 'atonement'."

The way Yuffie said "atonement" was so tragically pathetic and sounded so like something Vincent would say, it made Sephiroth chuckle. Vincent needed to lighten up, and that was pretty sad coming from Sephiroth.

"He needs a _girlfriend_, that's what he needs," Yuffie grumbled. Then she thoughtfully put a finger to her chin, "Maybe I'll make that a new mission in life. Find Vincent a female."

This time Sephiroth burst out laughing. Yuffie crossed her arms, "It's not _that_ funny. _You_ found a wife, after all."

"True, true," Sephiroth brushed away a tear, "But I mean, come on, _Vincent_?"

Yuffie smirked, "We could get one of his many new fangirls. They'd jump at a chance to be with 'Vinny'."

"I think you'd have better luck recruiting a woman for Reeve."

"Reeve! I hadn't even thought of that."

"Well, stop! I wasn't serious. Reeve would drive any woman to distraction. He drives _us_ to distraction badly enough and he's only been back with us for a barely a day."

"You're right. I'd better go at it one at a time. Vincent first, then Reeve."

"There's no way I'm going to talk you out of this, is there?"

"No reason you should, really. You should be happy I've thought of something to occupy my time while you kill monsters."

"I don't have to hear about it, do I?"

"Not if you're gonna complain. I'll just talk with Mildree about it."

"We're in the sticks, remember? I doubt there are many eligible females who would be willing to put up with a claw-handed emo and a hyperactive engineer."

Yuffie grinned wickedly, "On the contrary, that makes it perfect. How many desperate women scared of becoming old maids do you think are out here?"

_The next day…_

The mayor Tom Creel looked at Sephiroth very suspiciously until Taran Gaither introduced him as Tamrelan Roth, a man coming to apply for a job as a beast hunter. Creel's eyebrows went up and he urged them to come into the house at once. He warmly welcomed Yuffie, who have not changed her first name. Mr. Creel himself was a big guy, about Sephiroth's height. He had a full head of hair, which used to be brown but was now peppered with gray. His voice was deep and friendly and he was in robust shape.

Sephiroth had thought that they might meet with resistance from the mayor, but the first thing that popped out of the man's mouth as soon as they were all seated was, "How soon are you willing to start, Mr. Roth?"

Sephiroth was taken aback by the question, so Yuffie spoke, "Are things really that bad here?"

Creel looked at her incredulously, "Are you _kidding_? We lived near a disabled Mako reactor. That Shinra was overthrown too late, though none of us were really fond of the circumstances. I only took this job as mayor because I owed debts to the late President. Now that we've started coal mining, our town is doing great economically. But those monsters are still a threat to us. Our orphanage is full of children who have lost fathers and mothers to beasts. We have to make a living, but it is dangerous here." He looked at Sephiroth, "You were in SOLDIER, right? I can tell by the eyes. Don't worry; no one will criticize you for that here. In fact if your training makes you good at killing beasts, the people here will love you for your past. So, how soon can you start?"

"Um…" Sephiroth managed, "…Tomorrow?"

Creel happily slapped his knee, "Tomorrow, then! Now, let's discuss your wages…"

Sephiroth and Yuffie were shocked to find what the mayor was willing to pay for Sephiroth's services were just as good if not better than what most towns paid for the bounty hunting. They both looked at Gaither, who nodded, silently telling them that the mayor was _not_ joking.

After they had finished discussing it, Mr. Creel said, "My wife Meloney is the town doctor. So if you need patching up or anything, let us know."

"Please, you've already done so much with giving my husband the job," Yuffie said.

"Nonsense. Now tell me, Tamrelan, do you need any ammo or…?"

"No; I use a sword."

Creel's jaw dropped for a moment and then he exclaimed, his eyes practically sparkling, "So it's true? The SOLDIERs trained with swords? Amazing! You have to tell me some of your war stories."

Gaither saved them by standing up, "I'm afraid we've stayed to long as it is, Mr. Mayor. Tamrelan and Yuffie need to get on home."

"Oh, of course. Er…where's home?"

"They are staying with Vincent Valentine in the old Shinra mansion."

Mayor Creel shuddered, "I suppose it would take a SOLDIER's courage to stay _there_. Most people think that the house is haunted."

Sephiroth, Yuffie, and Gaither tried not to think about the monster. But the house had been peaceful since yesterday. Vincent ventured down into the library to check things out and there had been no monsters there. Perhaps it was a one-time thing. After all, no one had been living in the house for a while since Vincent had found Lucrecia.

Perhaps Sephiroth would venture another journey to the library. But not today.

"I think I'd like to come with you on your first venture, Mr. Roth," Creel said.

Sephiroth was going to tell him no, but considering this was his new employer, he only said, "Are you sure that is wise? I can't be responsible for your safety."

"I've gone hunting-with a gun, mind you-many times. I would like to do the monster-slaying myself. But I simply cannot leave town business unfinished while killing beasts. However, one day could not hurt."

"...If you say so."

"I'll planning to come as well," Yuffie put in.

"_You_, Mrs. Roth?" Mayor Creel looked scandalized, "Have you hunted monsters before?"

"Many times. And I only plan to come on the first day."

Sephiroth gave Yuffie a look that said he did _not_ like Yuffie coming on the hunting trip. She returned his look. They had discussed this but Yuffie would not be swayed. She was going to come and that was that. If Sephiroth was going to go near the Mako reactor-a key place in his past-she wanted to be there for him. Having a total stranger come along made both of them nervous. In fact, Mayor Creel's presence made Yuffie's coming along essential. She would be there to remind Sephiroth that his past was behind him and it would stay there. Creel would have no idea of the significance of the places to Sephiroth.

This was going to be very interesting.


	34. AHunting We Will Go!

Kit Thespian: Hee hee, I'm on FIRE!

(Sephiroth and Cloud walk in)

Sephiroth: You don't think it was a mistake to bring her back, do you?

Cloud: …Nah.

Disclaimer: Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making any money off of this.

Chapter Thirty-Four- A-Hunting We Will Go

Sephiroth and Yuffie were both a perfect picture of stunned silence as they looked at Mayor Tom Creel the next day when they stopped by his house to go on the hunting trip. Sephiroth had chosen to bind his hair in a ponytail, wore a long black coat (not his cape; his armor was safely stored away in the mansion) with a comfortable shirt and jeans and snake boots that almost reached his knees. Yuffie's outfit was similar, except for a black coat she wore a short green jacket. Comfort was the ideal thing for hunting in the cool, Nibelheim climate. The kind of hunting they were planning to do was their own style.

A style apparently completely unknown to Mayor Creel. He wore snake boots like Sephiroth and Yuffie, but the similarity ended there. He was decked head to foot in camouflage. He had black and green paint on his face and he sported an enormous rifle on his shoulders. His torso was girded with bullet belts.

When the Mayor saw them, he appeared not to notice the difference. He had a big grin on his face and said, "I don't know about _you_, but I am ready to kick some Dragon and Kyuvildens tail!"

Sephiroth couldn't help himself. He had to ask, "Why do you want me to have the job, again?"

"I told you; I have to tend to the village. I'm lucky I got this day off at all. But it's not near a festival or hard times, so I can spare the day. I haven't gone hunting in ages! What a treat to go with an actual SOLDIER! Who uses a _sword_! Forgive me for having to use this clumsy gun, but I'm not as agile as you, I think."

Yuffie blurted, "Clumsy? What do you mean by 'clumsy'?"

Creel laughed, "I don't mean I'm a bad shot. I just mean I'm not as graceful as a SOLDIER with a sword."

Sephiroth's mouth worked wordlessly for a moment. He clearly didn't like being called "graceful." Yuffie stifled a guffaw and said, "Thank you for the compliment, Mayor Creel."

"You're welcome. Well, enough chitter-chatter," The Mayor began to saunter towards the northern path to the mountains. He began to sing, "A-hunting we will go, a-hunting we will go. Hi, ho, the derry-o…"

When he was a little ways ahead of them, Sephiroth murmured to his wife, "Is it just me or is there a strong possibility that everyone in this town is insane?"

Yuffie was giggling nearly uncontrollably. She grabbed Sephiroth's hand and tittered, "We'll fit right in. Come along, Tamrelan, or we'll lose him!"

Sephiroth was relieved that once the party reached the mountain path, Mayor Creel's countenance totally changed. He grew quiet and wielded his gun and began to load it. Sephiroth drew the Masamune and held it ready, and Yuffie drew her Conformer. For such a big man, Creel treaded lightly on the ground. Sephiroth allowed a smirk. For a while he thought Mayor Creel might be a liability, but he seemed capable enough. In fact, his countenance was that of a trained, hardened soldier, quite the contrast from his earlier jovial visage.

He heard something rustling in the forest. By instinct ingrained in him from training days, he held up a hand to halt the party. It took a moment, but then Yuffie and Creel heard the noise as well. The creature did not sound very big, but that didn't mean anything in these wild woods.

"These creatures are very bold," Creel whispered, "Even when our miners form large groups they are attacked…" He put the butt of his gun to his shoulder, knelt, and took aim, "I'll get this one. I want you to see what you're dealing with."

Sephiroth was well acquainted with the beasts of the Nibel Mountains, if they were still the sort of creatures that he had battled seven years before. But it would not do to give any indication that he had been there before, or Mayor Creel might get suspicious.

A high-pitched screech interrupted Sephiroth's thoughts and he and Yuffie quickly turned to the brush to find a skittering Kyuvildens rush out towards them. Sephiroth remembered them and how ridiculously quick they were. One of them had almost gone for Tifa's neck when they trekked through the Nibel mountains the first time. If a praying mantis mated with a grasshopper, and then their offspring were fed mutagen until it was a reptile the size of a dog, and then that creature developed a bloodthirsty fury against anything walking on two legs, that would be a Kyuvilden. Its name meant, "rage lizard".

It made a dash towards them. Sephiroth and Yuffie pulled their weapons out no matter what Creel said, but they both felt their hearts leap into their throats when a loud report sounded from Creel's rifle and the Kyuvildens collapsed to the ground, skidding a foot or two before completely stopping. But it was definitely dead.

Creel did not even blink, "I'm glad you two had your weapons out. I know you said you've hunted beasts. But these are very nasty. We have Dragons and Screamers and Zuu…I'll explain what they are later, but Kyuvildens are the most deadly to our workers. They're quick and vicious. They'll grab a grown man and drag him into the woods quicker than you can say 'ooh-rah.'"

Sephiroth was more interested in the Mayor's shot than his explanation. He approached the stiff Kyuvildens, sword still drawn, to get a better look. Or rather, to confirm what he already knew. He knelt down and examined the creature.

He said, "Good shot."

Creel shrugged and looked a little bashful, "I was born with a good eye…"

"It's a perfect shot. You shot it in the _eyeball_."

Yuffie's eyes bugged out, "In the _eyeball_?"

Creel's look of nervousness made it apparent that it was not a lucky shot. Sephiroth straightened up and said, "I am very grateful for the job you've given me, Mayor Creel. It's not easy for someone like me to find honest work. But I am curious. What kind of debts did you owe to old President Shinra?"

The Mayor looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Yuffie stepped forward, "Mr. Mayor, if you don't want to talk about it, it's okay. Tamrelan was just curious."

"No, no," Creel shook his head and put his fingers to the crook of his nose, "No, I…I didn't want to say anything. I don't know your stories, and since you are a SOLDIER and a Wutainese woman together, you likely have a very interesting story indeed."

Sephiroth had already been through this with Mr. Gaither. He hadn't realized the amount of heads that would be turned by the mere fact that a woman of Yuffie's heritage would marry a SOLDIER, never mind that one of them was the former Princess of Wutai and the other was Sephiroth.

Yuffie spoke, "Why wouldn't you want to say anything? My husband and I have taken a few hard knocks," though, thankfully, not for the reasons that Creel was thinking of; not yet. She went on, "We're grown-ups. I doubt there's much you could say that would offend us."

Creel licked his lips as if they had suddenly gone dry and he said, "I think you have a right to know who you are working for. In fact, I've thought about telling you since yesterday and now seems to be a good time. When I said I had debts against Shinra…it was not the sort of debt you would think. I didn't owe money to him or any kind of favor. I used to be in his army. I…I was a sniper."

Yuffie winced and Sephiroth knew why. Snipers had been important in the war against Wutai. The Wutainese had powerful ninjas that were nearly impossible to defeat in close combat, so snipers had been necessary to destroy them from a distance. Yuffie's people had lost great numbers thanks to Shinra's snipers. Sephiroth understood that Creel had been hiding the truth from Yuffie more than from him.

When Yuffie frowned, Creel clasped his hands together and bowed slightly, "I am so sorry. That's why I didn't want to say anything to you. I knew it might upset you…and I didn't know if you had any grudges. If you…" he turned to Sephiroth, "If you want to leave Nibelheim now, I would totally understand."

"No, it's all right," Yuffie spoke up, "The war was a long time ago and it hardly matters now. I was just…I didn't expect to hear that, after all these years. What did you do to tick off old Shinra?"

Creel breathed a sigh of relief, "Thank you…for your understanding and forgiveness. About Shinra…he wanted me to do a sniping job and I refused."

"You refused?" Sephiroth asked, "Why?"

"Because…I couldn't bring myself to kill another member of Shinra's military." He took a deep breath and sighed, "You know how I tried to keep my being a sniper from you for your wife's benefit. Well…this part I'm about to tell you…"

"Was for _my_ sake, because I was in SOLDIER?"

"I never saw the man in person and Shinra didn't like to release pictures of him to keep an air of mystique about him, but they wanted me to shoot General Sephiroth."

Given what Rosem had told him about old Shinra's hatred for him, this should not have been surprising. But Sephiroth and Yuffie both stared at the Mayor with slack jaws.

"I know, right?" Creel continued, totally clueless as to the real reason behind their shocked expressions, "I spent the entire Wutainese war without setting eyes on the guy. I never spoke to him. I suppose they thought that was a good reason to believe I would not have a problem with killing him. But he was still part of our military. I couldn't kill a fellow soldier. They even tried to give me reasons to kill him. They said he was a threat to the president. That he wanted to be president himself. Let me tell you something, from what _I_ heard of the guy, he just wanted to do his job, and he was pretty darn good at it…" he turned to Yuffie, "no offense."

Yuffie shrugged, "None taken, trust me."

"So they threw me and my entire family into jail, I guess to keep us silent. That was a horrible time, but at least we were together. Then…it happened."

"You mean…Sephiroth happened?" the silver-haired warrior said.

Creel nodded, "He went mad and burned this entire village down. Shinra pulled me and my family out of prison and stuck us into the newly rebuilt town, saying it would be a daily reminder to me of what I could have prevented if I had just killed him when they had wanted me to."

"Do you regret not killing him?" Sephiroth asked. Yuffie looked at him with sympathy in her eyes, but she said nothing.

"For a while I did…but the more I thought about it, the more I began to think that it was Shinra's doing. If Sephiroth had gone mad, they were to blame. They kept him cloistered from anyone except Shinra employees and fellow soldiers. No one was allowed to publish any photographs of him or interviews with him. Oh, I heard of people taking pictures of him, but it always seemed like those people never managed to show the photos of…for _some_ reason. There was even a rumor that he was denied any kind of female companionship, and another rumor that said he had never known his real family. You were in SOLDIER, Tamrelan…did you know Sephiroth?" When Sephiroth just nodded, Creel went on, "Should I have killed him?"

Yuffie was obviously in agony, trying to stay silent, but this was almost too much for her. She turned around, holding onto the Conformer with one hand and wrapping her arm around her body with the other.

Since she was not looking at him, it was easier for Sephiroth to answer, "You probably should have…but I don't think anyone, let alone you or Sephiroth, could have predicted what would happen. For the time, you made the right decision. No one should have asked you to kill a fellow Shinra soldier."

He heard Yuffie let out a sigh. She turned to him with a little smile on her face. It had been a good answer.

"You're right," Creel said, looking as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, "Thank you."

"It's actually quite pleasant to meet another former military member, Mayor Creel, who has such honor."

"Please, call me Tom."

Sephiroth smiled, "Tom."

"Now, let's see if we can't find anymore beasties. The day's a-wasting…"

_In Cosmo Canyon…_

Hojo commented as he leaned over the microscope in Rosem's house, "That is truly fascinating."

"Isn't it, though?" his best friend chirped from his place by the sink, "Just think about it. If the formula works, things like Potions and Revivify and Tranquilizers wouldn't have to be so rare. They could be home remedies."

"Let's not count our chickens before they hatch," Hojo bent back up and straightened out his glasses.

"That's the fun thing about science, though. You never run out of things to be discovered."

Hojo allowed a smirk. Rosem was absolutely right. He and Lucrecia had only been in Cosmo Canyon for a few days but they had settled into a quiet contentment since the _Highwind_ crew had departed. Lucrecia had decided to start an herb garden, and when she said she was going to do so Rosem immediately had to comment that he was working on a way to make just the right mixture of herbs to make potent remedies, so the people would not have to rely on rare factory potions from Junon or Costa Del Sol.

And that had been what was occupying Hojo and Rosem's time for the present moment. Hojo had asked what had given him the idea for the experiments. Rosem had answered that when the door to the GI cave broke, there had been a panic among the people that they may be rendered undead by the creatures from there. Rosem had been thinking about conducting this research for a while now but "Incident GI Cave" had spurred him on.

"In fact," Rosem spoke, "after we do this, I'm thinking of trying to get materia to work again. What do you think?"

"I think you have very high aims."

"I'd rather aim high than low. Now…" Rosem took a beaker, "Let's try this one. This is the mixture from the buffry plants and the gammis root."

"Lucrecia said she had gotten some gammis seeds yesterday."

"…I don't suppose you've heard anything from Sephiroth or Yuffie."

"They've only been away for a few days, can't expect them to…"

Hojo started when his PHS, tucked away in his back pocket, began to ring. He and Rosem exchanged puzzled looks before he answered.

"Hello?"

"_Hello, Hojo_?" It was Yuffie's voice, "_How are you doing_?"

"I am all right." He was glad it was Yuffie. He didn't know if he could handle it if Sephiroth had made the jump and called him. He asked, "How are you?"

"_I'm fine_."

"Where are you two?"

"_Rosem didn't tell you_?"

"No," Hojo looked at Rosem pointedly, "he did not. But remember we're on a PHS right now."

"_Must have slipped his mind. Well, anyway, we're in…my husband's hometown and we're settled now. We had a pretty exciting day today. My husband got a job, a good job. And we cleaned the house._"

At least Yuffie had the sense not to reveal big details on the PHS.

"_I have to ask you. Remember when Rosem mentioned the GI cave breaking open?_"

"We've discussed that at length since you've been gone, actually."

"_Have you guys figured out what caused it?_"

"No."

"_Rosem said weird things happened. Were there any undead creatures roaming about_?"

"…No. Why do you ask?"

"_...Just asking_."

Hojo grinned. Sephiroth loved Yuffie, and Hojo had to admit he felt some fatherly affection for her, but she was about as subtle as a runaway freight train.

"What happened?" he asked.

"…_We had a little incident in the house. No one got hurt, but it was pretty random and frightening_."

"I'll talk to Rosem some more about it."

"_Thank you_."

"I will tell his mother you're all right."

"_Great, but, uh…don't tell her about the 'incident', okay_?"

"Don't intend to."

"_Thank you. Take care of yourself, okay? We'll keep in touch…I'll get __**him**__ to call you next time_."

"Don't bother with that."

"_And don't you hand me that. I'm going to write you guys a big letter to tell you everything. I know Red's address. I'll talk to you later…Bye_." And she hung up.

Hojo put his PHS in his back pocket and looked to find Rosem leaned on the counter, grinning like a drunk.

"Told ya they'd check up on you," he said.

Hojo rolled his eyes, "Bring me that beaker and wipe that smirk off your face."


	35. Life Goes On, Doesn't It?

(Sephiroth walks out)

Sephiroth: Apparently I'm taking a break this chapter.

Kit Thespian (pops out of nowhere, grins evilly): Not quite…

Sephiroth (grumbles): Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making any money off of this.

Chapter Thirty-Five- Life Goes On, Doesn't It?

_In Kalm…_

Cloud Strife was not having a good day. Not at all. He'd woken up with a headache from being in the _Highwind_ too long. And when they touched down at Kalm, he'd lost his balance stepping out of the airship and fell flat on his face in the grass. This would not have been so bad, however, if the first question to come out of his pregnant wife's mouth when the party returned to the Strife house had not been:

"Where are Yuffie and Sephiroth? And Hojo and Lucrecia?"

It could have been "How are you?" or "How was your trip?" But, nope, it had to be that. The explanation of their separation from Sephiroth and Yuffie had to come a lot sooner than later. He had been hoping it would be later. And Tifa's reaction to it had not been favorable.

"There's your pillow!" She threw his pillow on the couch, "There's your blanket!" A quilt followed, "Because _that's_ your bed!"

"Aw, Tifa…!" Cloud didn't get any more out before Tifa stomped to her room and slammed the door behind her. He heard the lock click a few seconds later.

"That goes for you too!" Shera fumed at Cid as she dumped a pillow and quilt on the other couch and stormed to Yuffie's old room, shutting the door behind her as well. Thankfully Marlene had been sent up to her treehouse for the duration of Cloud's explanation and was playing with her toys, unaware of the unpleasantness going on in the living room.

That left Barret standing there with his arms crossed. Cloud and Cid both sputtered for a moment before turning to him.

"Don't look at _me_ for support," Barret grumbled, "I don't really care what y'all do to Sephiroth, but Yuffie is another matter. You shoulda put up with it for _her_ sake. Look on the bright side. Y'all really don't have to stay in here. Y'all can stay in the spare room with the twin beds. But if I were you, I'd promise to make it up."

Cloud sighed, "Look, Barret, we don't even know where they are right now. They could have gone anywhere."

"There aren't that many places on the other continent for them to go."

"In any case, they left town pretty quickly. I doubt they want to talk to us right now."

"An' whose fault is _that_, hmm?" Barret's grimace grew deeper. He turned towards the back door, "Enjoy the couches, boys."

Barret shut the back door behind him just as Cid was beginning a string of choice words. The big guy didn't give a darn how distressed they were. Those two had made their beds (er…couches) and now they could sleep in them. He would write a letter to Red XIII's house. Cloud had said that Hojo and Lucrecia were staying there. He could ask them to relay the letter to Yuffie and Sephiroth. Surely Sephiroth's parents (however odd the situation was) would know where they were.

He bit his lip went he walked in the backyard to find Marlene sitting on the edge of her treehouse with her legs swinging in the open air. She looked very sad. Apparently she was not as oblivious to the unpleasantness as he would have hoped. It gave him another reason to want to take Cloud by his spiky head and hurl him into the ocean.

"Hey, baby," he tried a smile, "You doin' okay?"

"Where are Auntie Yuffie and Uncle Sephy?"

"They…They're on the other continent, sweetie."

"Why?"

"…Well…" Barret spoke carefully, but what he considered to be truthfully, "They want to live their own lives, honey. They got married and they want to start a new life together. So do Mr. Hojo and Ms. Lucrecia. They can do that if they want."

"I want to see them."

"…Me too, honey," Well, he _did_ want to see Yuffie. And seeing Sephiroth wouldn't be so bad either, if he was keeping up his good behavior, "And we will someday. You'll see."

Marlene sniffled, "They'll have lots of babies and I won't be there to see any of them!"

Barret put every effort into not wincing when he thought of that, and managed a strained smile, "Now, you don't know that, sweetie. We'll just wait an' see. Now, when's the last time you practiced your reading?"

"Aw, Papa…"

"Don't 'aw, Papa' me. Come on. Let's read about the white horse."

Marlene brightened up. Even though she was not too fond of her lessons, the one about the white horse was one of her favorites. She started climbing down the tree. Barret heaved a sign of relief that the subject of Yuffie and her new husband was put away…for now.

_In Nibelheim, two weeks later…_

"Eureka! Ha, ha, ha! I'm a genius…!"

Reeve sucked in his lips, stopping his exultant self-praise long enough to look around to see if anyone had heard him. But there wasn't a sound; he seemed to still be all alone in the Shinra mansion. But it wasn't like he didn't deserve to be a little proud of himself. The plumbing had been acting a little fishy. He had narrowed down the problem to the set of pipes in the wall beside the kitchen. Fortunately, there was a moveable fixture in the wall so he could get to them easily enough and fix them.

Once he was sure he was alone, he patted himself on the back, "Reeve, my good man, you've still got it…hey, what's that?"

He realized he was talking to himself, but so what? He spotted a couple of flimsy sheets of paper on the ground. He picked them up and read them.

"Oh…my…gosh…"

"_I must get rid of all those that stand in the way of my research. Even that one from the Turks. I scientifically altered him and put him to sleep in the basement. If you want to find him, then search the area. But…this merely a game I thought of. It is not necessary for you to participate if you don't want to._

"_Move the dial on the safe carefully, but quickly. You have 20 seconds. You cannot go past the numbers while turning. The 4 hints for the numbers are…The lid of the box with the most oxygen…Behind the ivory's short of tea and ray…The creek in the floor near the chair on the second floor…then to the left five steps, up nine steps, left two steps, and up six steps…"_

And the fourth hint was written in invisible ink. Not that any of it mattered now.

It was the note the others had found when they came to Nibelheim searching for Sephiroth, the note supposedly left by Hojo. Reeve had still been with Shinra then, but he had controlled Cait Sith, so he remembered when they found it. He remembered thinking that it didn't sound like Hojo to leave a note like that. If he wanted Vincent to be shut away, he had a good reason to do so. But he could have left it in a spurt of Jenova-induced insanity. The leaving the key in a safe where a monster would attack _did_ sound like something Hojo would do at his most sadistic moment.

The notes must have fallen through the cracks during the chaos when they battled the Lost Number creature. Funny how he was the only member of AVALANCHE who had never actually held the notes that had led them to Vincent, and now he had them.

Something was off, though. He couldn't put his finger on it. He'd have to corner Hojo when the scientist was in one of his better moods and ask him about why all this had happened. He folded the notes and stuffed them into his pocket.

After placing the wall fixture back he took a moment to look around the immense mansion. It was kind of lonely here, now that he wasn't busy. Sephiroth was off doing his job. Though the people in the village thought highly of him for taking on such dangerous work, they were still a little wary of a former SOLDIER. That likely suited Sephiroth just dandy. Yuffie was making a mission of going around the town every other day, getting groceries, looking for things to spruce up the house, all to establish the appearance of a nice, little wife. Reeve snorted at the thought of Yuffie being a "nice, little wife." She seemed happy with her situation, though. The townspeople were more open to her than they were to her husband, even with the orphans' "wild stories" that she was a ninja. Yuffie would come back home telling Sephiroth how grateful all the women in the town were to have someone watching over their husbands.

Yuffie also spent a lot of time with Mildree Gaither, learning various things to do around the house. And she would go outside and do her ninja exercises, out of sight of any of the more curious villagers. It would likely spoil her image.

Red XIII spent most of his time in the mountains. Sometimes he was gone for a couple of days at a time and would come back and sleep for hours and hours. When asked what he was doing, he would answer that he was searching. Reeve guessed that Red was looking for others like him, and perhaps a mate. Reeve grinned at the thought of Red with a female of his kind, with lots of little cubs running around.

As for Vincent, well…who knows how Vincent occupied his time? Even after living here for two weeks the guy was an inscrutable as ever.

And unpredictable, as Reeve discovered two seconds later when he turned to get a snack from the kitchen and Vincent was standing right there.

"GAH!" Reeve jumped about three feet in the air and back, "Geez louise, Vincent! You can't sneak up on a guy like that!"

"I only just walked in," Vincent spoke, without a note of apology.

Reeve grumbled, knowing it was no use to argue about it any further, "Where have you been, anyway?"

"I was exploring the mountains."

"Run into anything?"

"Nothing important."

"Okay…Seriously, though, couldn't you make, I dunno, stepping sounds when you walk through the house or something? You almost gave me a heart attack."

Vincent did not reply, but betrayed the slightest smirk and headed for the stairs. Reeve groaned and made his way into the kitchen. Just when he thought life could get boring around here. He had always wanted Vincent to loosen up, but if Vincent's idea of fun was to sneak up on people Reeve would have to check every day in the mirror for fresh gray hairs.

_Outside the mansion…_

Yuffie wiped the sweat off of her brow before taking another aim at the thick dead tree that used to grow (now, it only stood) in the vast woods behind the Shinra Mansion. She and Sephiroth had scoped the tree and decided it was far enough away from the mansion that it would not cause any damage should it decide to fall over one day. And it was thick enough to take hit after hit from Yuffie's Conformer, which was fine by her.

She enough time to get some more practice before having to get dinner started. She could barely believe the _thought_ of starting dinner going through her head, but since she was the only woman in the house, that made her woman _of_ the house, so to speak. She maintained enough of her Wutainese roots on the inside to know that much at least. And she really couldn't trust the men to cook anything without poisoning everybody, except maybe Reeve making waffles every once in a while. Yuffie was glad she had paid attention to Tifa's lessons while she still lived in Kalm, though she would never likely be as good as Tifa.

She wondered how Tifa took the news of their separation from AVALANCHE. They had been in Nibelheim for a couple of weeks now. it always made Yuffie sad whenever she thought of missing out on Cloud and Tifa having their first child. Perhaps they could be reconciled before then...but who knew? They were making a very good life here. On that first day hunting with Mayor Creel, they had managed to avoid the Mako reactor. Mayor Creel said only the bravest souls went there and he wouldn't endanger his new hunter's life by going there on the first day. Sephiroth had been relieved to keep away from the place, though he tried to hide as much from his wife, however unsuccessfully.

Why did she ever think she would get bored? Although they had fallen into a routine, it was a busy one. She still had not gotten Sephiroth off his cereal and toast for breakfast kick; she doubted she ever would, although she _did_ get him to eat a biscuit she'd made the other day. Reeve, when not called upon by the villagers to fix something in somebody's house for a modest fee, would wander throughout the Shinra mansion looking to make improvements. Red was hardly at home, and Vincent had taken to sneaking off at all hours. That left cleaning the place to Yuffie for the most part, though Sephiroth would graciously lend a hand to help if he sensed his one-and-only was getting overwhelmed.

Who knew being a "woman of the house" could be so tiring? But then, Tifa had Yuffie to help her in those days in Kalm. This thought made finding a girlfriend for Vincent more imperative than ever. Yuffie grinned evilly as she thwacked the tree with her Conformer and the graceful weapon made its way towards her waiting hand. She had made several fellow female acquaintances in the village over the past couple of weeks. None of them came to mind immediately when thinking of a potential mate for Vincent, but there was plenty of time.

_Inside the mansion…_

After making sure his bedroom door was locked, Vincent sat down in his bed and took the claw armor off of his arm, letting the skin breathe for a while. He debated over and over in his mind telling the others who he had seen living like a hermit in the mountains. He supposed he should have killed her, but how could he kill someone who was no guiltier than he was? Working for Shinra seemed to automatically constitute selling one's soul to the devil. But she was alive, and what she would do with that life now that she had it was a mystery Vincent was curious to see worked out.

He would go to speak with her again, and soon. And no, for now he would _not_ tell the others. They were not very concerned with prying into his affairs anyway.

He looked towards the wall that opened to the secret staircase. Of course, he _would_ pick the bedroom that led to what _used_ to be his "bedroom" for thirty years. But why shouldn't he? If any more monsters came from that passageway, he wanted to be the first to meet them. Let Sephiroth, Yuffie, Reeve, and Red sleep in relative peace. It was not as if he could sleep well anyway.

But yes, another visit to the person in the mountains was definitely in order. He could only hope she would be smart enough to stay out of anyone's sight, including Red XIII. No one would think twice of Vincent's going off into the mountains by himself. The nice thing about being unpredictable is no one expected him to act a certain way. He would use that to his every advantage.


	36. Just When You Think It's All Okay

(Sephiroth and Cloud walk in)

Sephiroth: I don't like it, Cloud.

Cloud: What do you mean?

Sephiroth: Have you noticed that since Kit Thespian's big comeback, she hasn't made us do something insane during her disclaimer?

Cloud: Yeah…You know, you're right!

Sephiroth: I just…have an unsettling feeling that any moment now she'll sneak up on us and make us perform a crazy song and dance number before the next chapter.

(Kit Thespian walks in)

Kit Thespian: You know I hadn't thought of it…

Sephiroth: GASP!

Cloud: EEK!

Kit Thespian: But now that you mention it…

Sephiroth: No, please!

Kit Thespian: Some say why…

Cloud: MERCY!

Kit Thespian: …I say…why not?

(She snaps her fingers. Sephiroth and Cloud get very strange looks on their faces)

Sephiroth: _When I walk in the spot, this is what I see…_

Cloud: _Everyone stops, they're staring at me._

Sephiroth: _I got passion in my pants and I'm not afraid to show it._

Cloud: _Show it, show it…_

(Sephiroth and Cloud both strip to reveal boxers and briefs, in that order)

Both: _I'm sexy and I know it._

Kit Thespian: Good times.

Disclaimer: Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making any money off of this.

Chapter Thirty-Six- Just When You Think It's All Okay…

Sephiroth had thought that his life would settle into a comfortable routine. Not that he would have minded a comfortable routine. It would be nice, settling into a home with people who weren't of a mind to kill him. He had no idea what an ordinary life was, but he got the impression that an "ordinary" life was being settled down into a nice, boring order of things. Trying that out with Yuffie sounded great. But after six weeks of living in Nibelheim, Sephiroth was slowly getting the feeling that he, Yuffie, and their housemates were not meant for a normal life. At least, not a slow one.

That feeling was further embellished by coming home one day to find Reeve running around the massive foyer of the Shinra mansion, with two little children running in opposite circles, obviously in an effort to confuse him. There were three more children sitting on the staircases, giggling uncontrollably at the game taking place below. None of them paid Sephiroth any notice at first.

"Hey, this isn't fair, you know!" Reeve protested.

"You're it! You're it!" One of the little ones dashing about, a tiny blond girl, exclaimed.

"I _know_ I'm it!" Reeve puffed, "I've been 'it' for ten minutes…!"

"You can't catch us!" the other running child, a little black boy, shouted with glee.

Sephiroth's attention from that rollicking spectacle was drawn to the sight of Red XIII trotting into the foyer from the music room, carrying two little girls on his back. He looked perfectly content to play "horsey" with them and they laughed like they were two luckiest kids on the Planet.

Sephiroth thought that if he saw Vincent playing patty-cake in a corner somewhere, the world might be coming to an end.

Then he remembered. Yuffie had reminded him about it this morning but among air-chopping Zuus, collecting Kyuvildens' horns, and cowardly avoiding the Mako reactor like the plague yet _another_ time, what she said had been pushed out of his mind until now. A week ago the Nibelheim orphanage had asked Yuffie for a visit to the mansion. The five housemates had gathered around the dinner table that night to discuss whether or not it was a good idea.

The only concern, really, was whether or not to trust that nothing wild would emerge from the basement while the children were in the house. Eventually, they agreed to allow the children at the mansion, but Vincent would remain in his room, with the door locked the entire time and his Death Penalty fully loaded. Both Red and Reeve had said they could help Yuffie handle the children.

Apparently the "tour" evolved into a "play date". Sephiroth had thought the children would be gone by the time he turned in his bounty and came home. He wondered what Yuffie was doing.

Reeve finally noticed him, "Oh, hey, Tam-bo! Home so soon?"

Sephiroth tried not to wince. He was barely accustomed to his pseudonym, and now Reeve had to come up with nicknames for it. But Reeve's statement caused all activity in the room to cease. The two kids tormenting Reeve had frozen in their tracks. The children on the stairs all gazed at him slack-jawed. Red XIII had stopped walking and the two girls on his back were clinging onto his fur.

Sephiroth brushed one of his bangs out of his face and made his way through the foyer, "It's almost six o' clock. I've been gone since seven this morning."

"Wow, time flies when you're having fun," Reeve looked about, grinning, "Doesn't it, kids?"

The kids had not moved an inch.

"Is everything okay in there?" he heard Yuffie call from the kitchen. She walked into the foyer with a middle-aged woman (no doubt the children's caretaker, Mrs. Goldwine) following behind her, "It's a little quiet…Oh, hey, honey! You're home!" She walked past everyone with a smile on her face, "Did you have a good day?" She walked up to him and pulled his arm down to motion him to let her kiss him on the cheek. She whispered, "They'll be gone in a jiffy, I promise."

"No rush," he said, "I'll just go upstairs." He cast a glance at the still-stunned kids, "What's _their_ problem?"

Yuffie looked at them, "I dunno. I guess they weren't expecting to see the already-legendary SOLDIER."

The children continued to stare at him in awe as he headed up the stairs, the ones on the stairs quickly moving out of his way. He needed a shower (Zuu corpses were especially messy) but he suspected it was more what they had heard about SOLDIERS that put them in awe. Granted, he had no idea what exactly they had heard about them, but it had to something spectacular.

By the time he made it back downstairs, all of the children and their caretaker Mrs. Goldwine were gone, and Red XIII and Mr. Reeve had collapsed on the floor of the foyer. Sephiroth stood on the second floor landing, smirking.

"So…" he said, "I recall hearing a certain engineer and a certain quadruped saying 'Oh, yeah, we can handle a few kids, no problem.'"

Reeve moaned, "We didn't think they were going to be here so long. That's it; we'll think twice before having houseguests again."

"Oh, I don't know, Reeve," Sephiroth spoke while walking down the stairs, "You two looked like you were having a swinging good time."

Red XIII grumbled, "I think every last one of those kids asked me for a piggyback ride."

"You didn't have to oblige."

"Easy for _you_ to say. You didn't have to look into their big, parent-less eyes."

"It looked to me that you were enjoying yourselves just as much as they were."

"Oh, it wasn't so bad, I guess," Red stood back up on his feet, "Yuffie actually did most of the work, but she was starting to wear out a little bit after lunchtime, so Reeve and I took over. She _did_ make brownies at three. Good brownies too."

"Are they _finally_ gone?" Sephiroth heard Vincent speak. He looked to see Vincent coming down the other set of stairs. He was dressed for the outdoors and he had the Death Penalty strapped to his back, "I thought they would never leave. I guess that means my work is done."

"Where are _you_ going?" Sephiroth asked.

"Outside. I've been cooped up all day, in case you forgot."

"But it's dark," Reeve said.

Vincent reached over his shoulder and patted his favorite weapon, "That's where the Death Penalty comes in, if need be."

If Sephiroth didn't know any better, he would have said that Vincent was actually a little anxious to get out of the house. He queried, "Got somewhere you need to be, Vincent?"

"No, I just need to stretch my legs."

All this coming from a guy who had spent thirty years in a coffin. Now he needed to "stretch his legs" after a day of being in his room. Well, Sephiroth was not going to argue with him.

"Take care of yourself," he instead said.

"No problem. I'll be back in a little while."

After the front door shut behind Vincent, Reeve sat up, "Am I the only who has noticed that he sneaks around a little more than usual these days?"

To be honest, Sephiroth _hadn't_ noticed. But then he had been rather occupied. He said, "Where's Yuffie?"

"Last I saw of her, she was headed to the living room."

Sephiroth made his way through the labyrinth-like corridors of the first floor of the mansion to the living room. It was a rather large room, designed to receive guests. But it was so nice, he guessed Yuffie and Mrs. Goldwine had made sure the kids had spent the most time in the foyer, where they could do the least damage.

A lamp was on by the couch, which faced away from the door. Sephiroth didn't see anyone at first.

"Yuffie?" he spoke.

A small murmur in reply emerged from the couch. Sephiroth walked over there to find Yuffie curled up on the sofa. Evidently, he had interrupted a nap. She hadn't moved at all since he had walked in. The soft moan was the only evidence of her being awake so far. He hadn't thought he had been upstairs long enough for the seemingly energetic woman who had greeted him when he came home to collapse into a deep slumber.

Then again, those kids had been in the house a long time.

He leaned on the top of the couch, looking over her, "Yuffie?"

She mumbled, "Dinner's in the kitchen…"

He couldn't help but smirk, "I didn't think it was in here. I came here to see _you_. Are you okay?"

She nodded a little, "Just tired."

"Were those kids really that much of a handful?"

Yuffie's eyes opened and she rolled them, "It wasn't just them. It was Mrs. Goldwine. I think most of my energy was spent dodging her pokey questions. I'm beginning to think that's the _real_ reason she wanted the children to tour the mansion. But the kids had a good time, at least. Just ask Reeve and Red." Yuffie sat up, "She kept looking at me really funny-like, like she knew something I didn't. It was all I could do not to flat-out ask what the heck was wrong. I was kind of scared of what the ask would be if I _did_ ask."

"What did she ask you?"

"Oh, if everything was all right, for starters. If I liked the children. If I liked the mansion. If the mansion was really livable. If _you_ were a good husband, to which I said _yes_, before you ask. And, of all things, she asked if we were in love. Imagine!" Yuffie had definitely caught a second wind, "Why on earth would she ask that? Of course I love you!"

"And I love you."

"Why else would we get married?" She heaved a sigh and fell back on the couch, "The children were actually pretty well-behaved towards me. I think it was because I'm your wife and they didn't want to make you mad. Red and Reeve got the brunt of it. I did a lot of storytelling."

"Well, come along. Dinner's waiting," he took her by the hand and pulled her up.

She moaned, "Sorry I'm not much fun right now."

"For better or for worse, right? Do you need me to carry you to the kitchen?"

"Nah, I'm good."

_In the Nibel Mountains…_

Vincent's eyesight was enhanced by the Jenova infusions. It was a good side effect to the bad side of his more…wild nature. The darkness of night did not stop him from walking boldly through the mountain path. The animals seemed to shy away from him for the most part, except for the boldest ones, who were quickly dispatched with the Death Penalty. He could have resorted to his darker side to dispose of them and saved on ammo, but…he just couldn't do it. Maybe if the world were in danger again, he would.

He had other things to tend to now. He was reminded of that as he saw a faint light in the distance, same place it always was. He spared a look over his shoulder. No one was following him. He was now so deep in the mountains none of the villagers (still wary of Shinra monsters, and even ghosts) would think of coming as far as he had. His destination was too near the Mako reactor for most people's taste. He adjusted the pack he carried over his shoulder. He had managed to stash it outside before the children had arrived that morning and he counted his blessings that nothing had raided it before he got it after leaving the house.

He thought yet another time of what the others would think if they knew what he was doing. Well, perhaps the crew in Nibelheim would not care so much, but the others in Kalm would definitely be upset. Since Vincent did not know when the next time he was going to speak with them was, it hardly mattered to him. He considered paying a visit to Hojo, to casually talk with him about his past co-workers at Shinra. However, it was very likely his half-brother would see right through him and his "harmless" questions.

Just as he was about thirty yards away from the light, he heard a clicking sound of a cocking rifle.

"Who is there?" he heard a female voice.

"Vincent Valentine…again," he answered.

"…What do you want?"

"To talk." He hoisted the pack off of his shoulders, "And I brought you some supplies."

The rifle was not yet lowered, "Why?"

"From one Shinra ex-employee to another."

"Why does that even matter to you?"

"…It just does," Vincent held the pack in front of him, "Just take it." The woman did not move. He went on, "If I wanted to kill you or harm you, I would have. You've seen me in action before."

"Yes, while you were trying to kill me."

"That didn't stop you from talking to me a couple of weeks ago."

"…You'd be amazed how lonely it gets up here. Talking to you beats talking to myself, I guess."

"The difference being that I answer back?" Vincent allowed a wry smirk, "At least, I hope you don't answer back to yourself."

There was a short silence before the woman replied, "I didn't think you had _any_ sense of humor…You might as well come in. Mind the wires, though."

She hadn't let him come inside the last time. It would not surprise Vincent if the place were booby-trapped. She was good with those sorts of things. He carefully stepped over three wires before he reached the living part of the cave. And he thought _he_ was jealous of his privacy. How did she remember not to trip them herself? He blinked with amazement when he saw the home she had made for herself.

The space was still obviously a cave, but the floor was lined with furs and skins that the lady had tanned herself. The furniture had likely been thrown out for junk but she had restored them to where the pieces were usable, including a twin bed. Against the walls of the cave, there were several handmade crossbows lined up. There were also piles of small bolts to arm them with. Vincent wondered if she intended to sell them or if she had made them to pass the time. She had always had a talent for making things, especially weapons.

He put the sack of supplies on her table, which had two chairs.

"Have a seat," she said, taking one chair.

Vincent took off the Death Penalty and leaned it against the table. He settled carefully into the chair. It looked rather well-worn and it might have collapsed under his weight no matter how finely it had been restored. But it held up.

No one would call him a master in the art of conversation, but Vincent attempted it anyway. He gestured towards the crossbows and asked, "Are you going to sell those?"

The woman, who had been reaching for the sack, looked up in surprise at the query. She answered, "I've thought about it. I need to make more, though. Then I have to make a cart, and then move it out of the mountains to either Nibelheim or Rocket Town…and then not be recognized."

"I would think Nibelheim or Rocket Town would be relatively safe in that respect. Besides, with all the monsters about I imagine people would leap at the chance to purchase a cheaper version of a gun."

He looked at her face closely. Without makeup and gaudy outfits, most people would not recognize her. Not that she wasn't pretty; if fact, Vincent thought she was _very_ pretty. But that was not a subject to bring up at this time.

She finally got a look inside the sack of supplies. She said, "You're pretty generous." She pulled out a bundle of beef jerky, two cans of soup, a bottle of shampoo, a cake of soap, a toothbrush, and a few other things.

Vincent shrugged, "It's just a few things I could throw together without being noticed."

"So you haven't told anyone that I'm here?"

"No. I supposed that was your own secret to keep. By the way, I have a…" how was he going to put this? "…housemate, Tamrelan Roth, who hunts monsters for bounty. Be sure to stay out of his way. Your…home is pretty near the Mako reactor. I know for a fact that it makes him nervous to go near there. He thinks none of us have noticed, but I have. He is a former SOLDIER. I think anything to do with Shinra makes him a little uneasy."

The woman shook her head, "I don't remember a 'Tamrelan Roth'. Sometimes I had to be there for their inspections."

"I don't think it's his real name." Vincent had not thought of this, but he doubted the lady would "out" Sephiroth to the world when she had secrets of her own to keep.

She pulled out a piece of jerky and bit off of it, "I wouldn't go around using my name either, just in case, if I were a SOLDIER. Glad to hear there's at least one former SOLDIER out there who isn't causing trouble."

It was all Vincent could do not to groan at the irony that Sephiroth was apparently the one SOLDIER not causing trouble. He said, "I am going to Cosmo Canyon tomorrow, to see if they are having creature trouble. I'll be gone for a while, but I will come back here when I return to Nibelheim."

"You needn't bother. I don't need any visitors."

Vincent let himself smirk again, "So why do you have two chairs?"

The woman sighed, "You got me. Thanks for the supplies."

"You're welcome…I've got to go."

"All right…" she held out her hand for him to shake, "See you later, Vincent. Mind your step on the way out."

He just shook her hand. There was really nothing else they owed to each other at this time.

"Thanks," he said, "See you later, Scarlet."


	37. The Daily Grind

**Disclaimer:** Kit Thespian does not own "Final Fantasy VII" or the characters therein. And she is not making money off of this.

Chapter Thirty-Seven – The Daily Grind

Today was the day. He was going to do it. Sephiroth had made up his mind to go the Mako reactor. It had been seven weeks since he and Yuffie and the others had set foot in Nibelheim to stay. He needed to get this over with and confront his fear or it would never let him rest. Granted, he would never admit to a soul (except perhaps Yuffie, and then only if he were very, _very_ tired, and perhaps a little drunk) that going to the reactor actually instilled _fear_ in him.

He did not say anything to Yuffie about going to the reactor as he was getting dressed that morning. She did not look like she felt like talking about it anyway. Usually she was up and at it, but this morning she was having a hard time just getting one leg out of bed.

He said as he was buttoning his shirt, "Did you have a hard time going to sleep last night?"

"No…" Yuffie muttered as she laboriously sat up.

"You sure? You've been dragging around lately. I know you like to stay busy but don't overdo it."

"I'm _not_ overdoing it. I just…need to dunk my head in cold water or something…Maybe just splash my face…"

"If you need a bucket of cold water dumped over your head, I'll be happy to help." A moment later, Yuffie appeared in front of him, her arms crossed in front of her with a scowl on her face. Sephiroth returned her threatening glare with a grin and said, "Oh, good, you're up."

"Ha, ha," Yuffie sneered, "Cute, babe. _Real_ cute."

"It worked."

"If you ever really do that, consider your fate _sealed_."

"I would never consider such a thing. I'd probably get the mattress wet in the process."

Yuffie allowed a little chuckle before grabbing her robe, turning towards the bedroom door, and saying, "I think I'm just going to have some of your cereal."

"Go ahead."

"I've got to go to the general store today anyway. Red's coming with me."

"Okay." Sephiroth didn't want Yuffie to ask any questions about where he was going. Now all he had to do was get past Reeve and Red. Perhaps he was making a big deal out of nothing. Why would any of them suspect this day would be any different than the last?

He was walking down the stairs with Masamune in hand when Red strolled past him and said, "Good morning."

"Good morning," Sephiroth answered.

"What's on your agenda today?" Red casually asked, "Are you doing that mine patrol Major Creel was talking about?"

Sephiroth gritted his teeth as he remembered what he was supposed to be doing that day. Going to the Mako reactor would have to wait, _again_. His job was more important. Mine patrol was one of Sephiroth's new duties that Major Creel had assigned him to. It basically consisted of his remaining a short distance away from the coal mine workers to ward off any unwanted beasties. This was during the third week of the month, what they called "Freak week." For some reason the beasts concentrated on the mine shafts where the workers were the most during that week.

This would be his second Freak week. The first had not been so bad. A Red Dragon here, a few Kyuvildens there. He suspected the goofy name "Freak week" was supposed to allay the miners' fears of the creatures somewhat. He remembered most of their faces and that the light-hearted name had not really helped them at all. At least, not until the second and third day of his being there to protect them. They were more relaxed after that. It made what he was doing more worthwhile.

In fact, aside from Yuffie, it was one of the only things in his life that seemed worthwhile. The miners were decent men who wanted honest work and were willing to risk their lives to provide for their families. It was inspiring, really. And most of all, they were all pretty friendly to him. At first, it was an uneasy friendliness caused by his position as a former SOLDIER. But then they grew to actually _like_ him. They called him "Tam." Some of them had even picked up Reeve's rather unfortunate nickname, "Tambo." But coming from them it wasn't so annoying.

After having a quick, simple breakfast (Yuffie had actually managed to get him to add some scrambled eggs to his toast lately, though not this morning) and grabbing his lunch pail, he headed for the Nibel Mountains. Breathing in the fresh air, he thought how merely going to work had been a simple pleasure denied him all his life. At least, working a job without fear of someone who wanted his neck slit looking over his shoulder every moment. He even had a lunch pail and a hard hat.

When he made it to the cave, two of the workers had gotten there before him. The others would arrive soon. During the previous Freak week, he had tried to get there the earliest, and the fact he had forgotten about it until Red had opportunely mentioned it was the only reason he was not the earliest today.

A fact that apparently Ronsee and Erik, the two workers who had arrived before him, were not about to let go to waste.

"Well, lookee here!" Ronsee grinned, "Tam's running late! Who would have thought?"

"Must have overslept," Erik quipped, joining in the fun, "Or he had to sharpen that sword of his. That could take a while."

"Good morning to you as well," Sephiroth tried to look grumpy, but Ronsee and Erik's jolly expressions made it difficult.

"So formal, as always," Ronsee made a mock-bow, "I guess that's a SOLDIER thing. Are you ready for 'Freak week'?"

"Are you?"

Erik said, "Ready and waiting for the others to get here."

Ronsee pointed towards the town, "I see a lot of them coming now." He turned back to Sephiroth, "How's the wife? Kerrie was asking about her."

Kerrie was Ronsee's wife. She and Yuffie had met and spent some time together. Yuffie was not close to her like she was close to Mildree Gaither, but it was good she was making friends. Sephiroth didn't have much of a mind to make friends, but Yuffie needed friends.

"She's fine," Sephiroth answered. The only downside of getting to know the miners was they were getting more and more comfortable around him, and therefore more liable to ask questions. He had a feeling they would not press him if he didn't want to answer, but the questions in themselves had the potential to be quite prying. He asked in turn, "How's Kerrie?"

"She's doing great. The kids are doing great."

"Aw, you guys are just rubbing it in now, aren't you?" Erik rolled his eyes, "'Yeah, we're married, and ol' Erik is thirty and still single. He's a male old maid…'"

"You're a male drama queen, that's for sure." Ronsee retorted.

Before Erik could come up with a witty reply, the rest of the workers came and it was "enough chit-chat, down to business" from then on until lunch.

_In Cosmo Canyon…_

"You saw _who_?" Hojo asked, giving a rare show of surprise at his half-brother's announcement. He even forgot the experiment notes in his hand. Vincent had been managing the monster problem on the outskirts of Cosmo Canyon for several days now and had just now managed to work up the nerve to tell him about Scarlet, after making sure that neither Lucrecia nor Rosem were anywhere within hearing range.

"You heard me," Vincent answered, crossing his arms, "Scarlet is alive and living in the Nibel Mountains."

"How did she escape the Proud Clod explosion?"

"There was a hatch. She was fast enough to get out of there…Heidegger wasn't."

"Ah…I see. What does she want?"

Vincent shook his head, "She doesn't want anything, except to be left alone, perhaps."

"Hmm," Hojo shrugged, "She and I did not speak often. I was not exactly the sociable type and neither was she. She enjoyed being admired, but did not appreciate attention other than that. Reeve could tell you."

"I've chosen to keep this a secret from Reeve, as well as the others. Goodness only knows what Barrett would do if he knew she were alive."

"Yes, she _was_ responsible for what happened to Corel, wasn't she? …Well, if all of you are willing give me and my son a chance, Scarlet deserves no less if she is looking to make no trouble."

"I agree. I did some things as a Turk I hope the others never find out about. We live in a different world now…but still, I think it best to keep this a secret."

"Of course… Rosem and I are making excellent progress with the elixirs, though I don't think any of them are ready to be tested yet."

"I'm glad…You heard what happened at the mansion, right?"

Hojo nodded, "Yuffie wrote about the monster in detail in a letter."

"Some Revivify or Soft elixirs (or something like them) would be nice to have."

"Those are the ones Rosem is concentrating the most on. Lucrecia is focusing on Maiden's Kiss, since there are so many frogs in the Ancient Forest. I'm trying the healing Potions."

"So…there's not much else you can tell me about Scarlet, hmm?"

Hojo looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

"I meant…she seems like she means no harm but was she ever especially unpredictable?"

"Not really. Heidegger treated their weapons like toys but Scarlet was very careful with them. But it was because she knew how they worked, inside and out. She treated the weapons like the tools they were, even if they were tools for destruction. She was a little too good at what she did and she was drunk with the power Shinra gave her…something I…myself know a little about…" Hojo turned his attention to his notes.

"Well…" Vincent could not think of anything to say to that to comfort his half-brother, but he gestured towards the notes, "I think what you're doing now is…pretty good."

"Thank you."

_In the Nibel mountains…_

Sephiroth wondered how he could be destined for such messes as the ones he got himself into. No, the two Red Dragons earlier had been no problem. The nesting Zuu had been a cinch. But this was unprecedented. Just when he thought he was having as normal a day as he could during Freak Week, the next thing he knew he was dangling with his right arm off the edge of one of the cave floors. He _would _be holding on with two hands if the miner Erik wasn't latched on to his left, wriggling like a worm.

"Don't let me go, man!" Erik wailed, "Don't let go!"

"Stop moving!" Sephiroth snapped.

The group of miners had been entered one of the more spacious regions of the caves and they spread out to search for coal veins. But then Erik had yelled that he was sinking. As it turned out, the floor had been giving out from underneath his feet. Sephiroth was quick enough to not only grab his arm, but grab the remaining edge before they both fell into the dark abyss. The Masamune was sheathed on Sephiroth's back, but it could hardly do him any good in this situation.

Erik was terrified and perhaps rightfully so, but Sephiroth was determined not to lose his head. The rock he had grabbed onto was steady enough to hold them, as long as Sephiroth could hold them both. Much to the SOLDIER's amazement, Erik stopped jerking around when he told him to, but he didn't stop whimpering.

"Man, I can't see down there," he moaned, "It's pitch black…"

"Don't look down!" Sephiroth said, trying not to add a "_you moron_" to the end of his sentence.

By now the other miners had reached the edge of the sinkhole and were looking down at them, shining their flashlights on the dangling pair.

Ronsee shouted, "They're still alive! Come on, guys, get some rope!"

Although he was sure he could have found a way to get both him and Erik back to safety himself, Sephiroth was glad he didn't have to. When the rope was lowered, he let Erik grab onto it. Once the miner had a good grip on it, the rest of the workers pulled him up. With both his arms free, Sephiroth was able to climb up the edge of the sinkhole. When he reached the top, Ronsee was there to offer a hand to help him get back to the cave floor.

Erik was on the ground, panting with relief. The other miners had been getting ready to throw the rope down to Sephiroth, but once they saw he was all right, a few of them went to Erik to make double-sure he was okay.

"Well," Jerrett, one of them, said a little out of breath, "I think we need to mark this region as one of the more dangerous parts of the caves."

"No crap," Sephiroth worked the stiffness out of his shoulders. He doubted very much they would be _too_ sore come tomorrow, but he had expected more sword-slinging that day than cliff-hanging. He would have _welcomed_ more monsters at this point.

One more thing he had not expected was the next moment Erik practically jumped on him, giving him one of the tightest hugs he had ever experienced.

"Thank you, Tam!" Erik was almost in tears, "You saved my life!"

Sephiroth tried not to be embarrassed, "Really, it wasn't…"

"Yes, it was! You saved my life! I'll do anything you want, _anything_! I'll clean your house! I'll babysit your kids! I know you don't have kids, but someday you might. And I'll babysit 'em! I'll fix the plumbing in your house; I'm good with plumbing! Anything you need, Tam, just ask it!"

"…Stop hugging me."

Erik let go, "Right."

"Well," Ronsee said, "I think we need to keep moving after setting up markers."

Sephiroth and the others could not agree more. Fortunately they had left their supplies by the entrance of the cave, and Sephiroth and Erik's hard hats with lights had managed to stay on their heads. For the rest of day, in between looking for coal veins and Sephiroth fighting off the occasional beast, the men would each walk up to him and thank him for saving Erik. They were even making similar offers to do favors for him in the future if needed anything. He politely thanked them.

It left Sephiroth with both a good feeling and an uneasy feeling at the same time. He had gotten used to the fact that he was Yuffie's hero (she told him that on many occasions) but he was not sure how he felt about being a hero to anyone else. After everything he had done, it had only taken one act for these innocent miners to see _him_ as a hero. A part of him didn't want to be hero, but only left in peace. But there was another part of him nagging in the back of his mind, saying to whom much is given much is expected in return.

Well, if being a "hero" to a group of coal miners was what was expected of him by the Planet in penance for all he had done, it was a small favor indeed. When the others weren't looking, he cracked a smile at the thought. He wondered what Yuffie would have to say about it.


	38. There's Just One Little Thing

(Kit Thespian walks in)

Kit Thespian: Ah, so good to be able to relax and write a nice, decent fanfic. Good thing I came back too; the natives are getting restless…

(Reno runs onstage, carrying a white cloth in his hand)

Reno: Ha, ha! You can't catch me!

Kit Thespian (facepalm): Reno, I _know_ you did not swipe someone's underwear.

(Sephiroth runs onstage)

Sephiroth: Reno, when I catch you I'm going to stick your taser where the sun doesn't shine!

Kit Thespian: Wow, Seph, I didn't know you were a "briefs" guy.

Sephiroth: SHADDUP!

Disclaimer: Kit Thespian does not own Final Fantasy VII or the characters therein. And she is not making any money off of this.

Chapter Thirty-Eight – There's Just One Little Thing…

_In Nibelheim..._

Yuffie changed her saunter to a brisk walk as she took in the fresh air on the way to town. She just needed to get up and about, that was all. For some reason she just couldn't get as much energy as she used to. She supposed that was due to having so much more responsibility. Red and Reeve had decided to come with her to town. Red could carry a bag of groceries with his mouth. Reeve had been called upon to fix someone's hot water heater for a tidy fee. Yuffie remembered the first time she had seen Reeve in his work clothes. It was a sharp contrast to the business suit he had worn with Shinra. He was just a regular guy with a toolbox.

Yuffie thought Reeve would have considered fixing a hot water heater rather mundane for someone with his talents, until she learned that the heater was Shinra issue, and Reeve had originally designed the model in the first place. It was rather ironic, but it also meant Reeve knew the machine like a painter knew his work of art.

Reeve was in a good mood, "I feel like singing a 'go-to-work' song. Do you realize how lucky we guys are? We're free."

Red smirked, "I can appreciate it."

Yuffie remembered what Rude had said about a new government forming in Junon. That was far away on the other continent, but still she hoped that another big government would not come to take the place of Shinra. The people were prospering very well without a nosy bureaucracy breathing down their necks. Nibelheim had become a nice little private country for all of them.

She missed the others in Kalm so much, though, especially Tifa, Barrett, and little Marlene. She wanted to write them a letter but hadn't the least notion of what she would say, except that everything was all right.

After Reeve waved goodbye and disappeared behind one of the houses, Yuffie turned to make her way to the general store.

"Yuffie," Red spoke, "We need to talk."

Yuffie turned a concerned expression to her wolf-like buddy. He had used that special tone of voice that he only used when about to call someone out on something. She had no idea what he would have to call her out on.

She cautiously said, "Okay…"

"Let's walk…" Red slowly made his way back to the path. Yuffie went to his side, one of her hands stuffed in her pocket and the other holding onto her satchel (it was really too big and plain to call a purse). Red took a look around and saw no one else was listening, he said, "I've noticed a few things. I don't know if you've noticed them, or if anyone else has noticed them. But _I've_ noticed them."

"What things?"

"Well…I've noticed you have been very tired lately."

"I've been really busy. You needn't be concerned about that, Red."

"I know…but I've also noticed that (and don't take this the wrong way) you have been fiddling with your jeans a lot recently to stretch them out. It's almost as if, um…they're tighter?"

Yuffie had noticed her pants and shorts were getting tighter, but that was no big deal. They had all been a little loose on her to begin with, now they were starting to fit just right. She just wasn't used to that feeling. If it were anyone else but Red, she might have been offended. But she knew Red didn't mean any harm by it. Even so, she couldn't say she liked it.

She shrugged, "So I'm gaining a little weight. It happens. If you think it's a problem, what do you want me to do?"

"Yuffie, I'm not saying you're getting _fat_ or anything. There's one more thing I've noticed, and _please_ bear with me because this is going to be a little personal."

Yuffie thought, "_Like the weight thing wasn't personal enough_?"

"In the past, whenever I've been around you or Tifa or…or even Aeris, I would be able to sense whenever any of you were going through, er…your um…"

Yuffie sighed, "Spit it out, Red."

"Your periods." Red was clearly embarrassed by mentioning it, "Your menstrual periods. I could tell when…you get it. Anyway, since we have come here, I've noticed that you _haven't_ had one. In fact…when I arrived at Cloud's house in Kalm, when I got around Tifa, she smelled different than before. It was a good scent, but different. Given my knowledge that Tifa is pregnant, it made sense. Her hormones had changed. But lately…I've noticed the same kind of scent around _you_. I've noticed it…for several weeks, actually."

Yuffie didn't answer; she didn't even _move_. Her jaw was slack. She realized what Red was trying to tell her. It was something she never would have thought of herself. No, the very thought was _ridiculous_. Red XIII was patient, waiting for Yuffie to speak. They stood in silence for a good sixty seconds, it seemed.

Then Yuffie finally said, "I'm…I'm not _pregnant_!"

Red shook his head, "Yuffie, I hate to have to be the one to break it to you (this is really something someone needs to know for themselves) but you are. I just didn't want you to get too carried away with work without knowing."

"But-but-but…No! I can't be!"

Red sighed, "I don't have to explain this to you, do I? I would think you'd know by now how it works…"

Yuffie clenched her fists by her sides, her face flushing, "I know how it works!"

"Then you _should_ know that it's entirely possible given that you and Sephiroth are married and you've been…"

"You're not making this any better, Red! I didn't mean…I mean, I _know_ how it…Omigosh, it's true, isn't it?" A lump formed in her throat and she had to blink away tears, "It's true!"

Red moved to her side and nudged her with his nose, "Yuffie, don't react this way. This is a _good_ thing. I would give the fire of my tail to have what you have: a family."

"It's just…It's just…" Yuffie's voice was deteriorating into sobs, "I wouldn't know the first thing to do with a baby. Sephiroth _really_ wouldn't and…oh, man, what is _he_ going to say about this? We haven't planned this; we've never even spoken about it. I…I…"

And then she fainted.

Red XIII had tried to maneuver his back underneath her to cushion the blow, but she still crumpled to the ground in a heap. He stared at her still form for a moment. What was he going to do? He couldn't _drag_ her back to the mansion without hurting her. At least she had landed in soft grass. There was something to be said for _that_.

Many "should haves" ran through Red's mind at that moment. He should have talked to Yuffie about this in the safety and comfort of the mansion, with her sitting down. Yuffie and Sephiroth should have thought of the possibility of having a child before now. This should _not_ have come as such a surprise. Except…well, it _was_ fairly sudden. He'd heard enough stories in his life. Some couples never had children and some had many, regardless of consciously trying or not. Given his own calculations and knowledge of human biology, Yuffie would have had to have conceived on her and Sephiroth's first night or within that week.

It was best not to dwell on all that. The fact remained that he had a pregnant, unconscious ninja on the ground beside him.

"Yuffie!" Red heard Reeve running up behind him, "Yuffie, omigosh! Red, what happened?"

The very idea of informing Reeve of the true reason behind Yuffie's condition sent up so many red flags in Red's mind that he simply answered, "She fainted."

Reeve rolled his eyes, "No fooling! Good thing that water heater didn't have a lot of problems with it." He knelt down and proceeded to scoop Yuffie up after putting her satchel on his shoulder. Slight as his frame was, Reeve didn't struggle to lift Yuffie's petite form off the ground. He said, "I guess the grocery shopping will have to wait."

"I think the two of us can manage it as soon as we get her home."

"You sure? I'm not much of a whiz with picking out fresh fruit."

"Yes, I'm sure. Yuffie needs to relax."

"Why? What's wrong with her?"

"Nothing's wrong with her. We'll talk about it _later_."

"Why can't we talk about it _now_?"

Red resorted to letting a small growl escape his throat. Reeve said, "All right, all right! Mr. Sensitive…I just hope you don't mind explaining to her _husband_ why she collapsed the middle of the road."

Red didn't consider himself to be terribly afraid of Sephiroth, but his tail quivered a little at the thought of explaining the matter. Yuffie would wake up before Sephiroth came home, he was sure. They began their trek back to the mansion.

Red spoke, "She'll explain it."

Reeve's next statement made Red realize that he had just made a mistake, "So, there _is_ something to explain? I thought you said nothing was wrong with her."

"Nothing _is_ wrong with her."

"Then why did she faint?"

"She overexerted herself."

"By a walk to town?" Reeve's incredulous voice reached high pitch, "We're talking about Yuffie, who completed her Wutainese ninja training at sixteen, who fought in the crater alongside AVALANCHE…"

"We don't talk about that time anymore, Reeve. It's a sensitive subject."

"Whatever! You're telling me a little trip to the grocery store is enough to do her in these days?"

"You are not helping anything by losing your temper. Now pay attention or you'll drop her."

"I won't drop her. But you are not being frank with me."

"No, I'm not. And you'll have to be satisfied with that for the time being."

Reeve huffed but did not press Red for any more information. He had likely decided to bide his time and wait for Yuffie to give him the explanation he wanted. As for Red, the next thing that popped into his head is they were going to have a time kid-proofing that mansion. The thought proved overwhelming and he shook it off.

_In the Nibel Mountains…_

"We're getting pretty close to that Mako reactor," Jarrett the coal miner casually said.

Sephiroth's breath caught when he heard that. The faint Mako smell in the air gave away their close proximity to the old reactor, but to actually hear the name mentioned made Sephiroth's pulse rise.

Unfortunately, Erik noticed Sephiroth's nearly infinitesimal gasp. It was not surprising, given that since Sephiroth had saved his life that morning, Erik had decided to take it upon himself to watch "Tam" as closely as he could to make sure _he_ was all right. Erik said, "Is something wrong, Tam?"

He replied, "I…don't have good memories of Mako reactors."

Given the horrified looks on the miners' faces when he said this, Sephiroth could only imagine the stories they had been told of the infusion of Mako in a SOLDIER's making. They no doubt thought that Sephiroth's "Mako treatments" were the reason for his misgivings, not knowing that he was born with his eyes glowing because the Jenova cells. Mako had little to do with his problems. But if that was a convincing story for them, so be it.

Ronsee said, "Shinra went in there and cleaned up the monsters after Nibelheim burned. It should be safe to go in there."

"_Relatively_ safe," Jarrett sternly pointed out, "Mako reactors, even those that aren't operational anymore, should not be trifled with. Besides, there's talk that this one is haunted to boot. I've never seen a ghost or anything like, but with the things that I heard went on in that reactor, it's no good to take chances."

Erik fidgeted a little, "I…I've always wondered what the inside of a Mako reactor looks like. Even a haunted one."

Sephiroth said, "It's a lot of big pipes, switches, levers, and wheels. Nothing special."

"Oh, you shouldn't have said that," Ronsee chuckled, "Plumbing's one of Erik's hobbies. He's quite a whiz."

Sephiroth looked Erik straight in the eyes and said, "Don't you dare think of going in there by yourself. It's _dangerous_."

Erik crossed his arms, "What do you think I am, an idiot?"

"Do you really want us to answer that?" Ronsee retorted.

The miners burst out laughing and the subject was thankfully dropped.

_In Cosmo Canyon…_

Lucrecia turned the letter over in her hands. It was addressed to Yuffie. The return address read it was from Barret Wallace. Lucrecia smiled a little. She had liked Barret. He hadn't been too fond of her son, but he was a good father to his adopted daughter Marlene. And he had been kind enough to Lucrecia herself. He only rose in her estimation by apparently being the first member of AVALANCHE living in Kalm to reach out to Yuffie.

Vincent was returning to Nibelheim in a day or two. He could deliver the letter. When Vincent, Hojo, and Rosem walked into the house, she was about to announce the letter when Hojo quickly approached her and said, "Are you all right, Lucrecia?"

She was surprised enough to blink for a couple of moments before carefully answering, "Yes, why? What's wrong?"

"The door to the GI cave has been acting up again."

"One of the villagers was cornered by a Stinger," Vincent said, "Luckily the Death Penalty and I were nearby."

Lucrecia said, "Stinger?"

"A very big, very nasty insect. It's the first time someone in Cosmo Canyon has been attacked by a GI monster in a long time."

Rosem said, "Cosmo Canyon is supposed to be a haven of peace and prosperity. It's almost like something _wants_ to ruin it all."

"What are you going to do?" asked Lucrecia. The GI cave hung like a evil tapestry over an otherwise perfectly safe little town. Lucrecia wondered why AVALANCHE didn't just kill all the monsters when they first traveled through here. But apparently there simply wasn't enough time or resources.

Vincent said, "I'm going to call Reeve and Red. Red needs to know what's going on in his hometown and hopefully Reeve can help to fix the lock. This needs to stop before it gets any worse."

"What is that?" Hojo gestured towards the letter in Lucrecia's hand.

With all the excitement, Lucrecia had pushed aside thoughts of the note until now. She said, "It's a letter from Barret to Yuffie."

A silence descended on the room. Hojo's eyes narrowed a bit while Vincent raised an eyebrow. Only Rosem was cheerful, "Oh, that's nice. Reeve and Red can take it back when they go back to Nibelheim. Or _you_ can take it, Vincent."

Vincent said, "I'm not leaving until this GI situation is resolved…I think Reeve or Red would be a better choice."

"Why don't we just ask Yuffie and Sephiroth to come here too?" Lucrecia suggested, smiling.

Vincent answered, "Sephiroth is obliged to stay in Nibelheim until the end of the week. It's a deal he has with the villagers."

"Then they can all come at the end of the week. Or maybe Red and Reeve can come ahead and then Sephiroth and Yuffie could follow. I'd like to visit with them." Lucrecia was making her desire to see her son and daughter-in-law obvious but she didn't care.

"We'll see," Hojo said.

Lucrecia smiled. She knew how a "we'll see" could easily be twisted into a "yes."


End file.
